How to get over the shame of not being "manly" with this kinks

[frozencanuk]

What is a man, but a feather-less biped...


*Off in the distance* you put that plucked chicken down...

 

[AsherDearing]

I’ve just decided that I’d rather be happy then manly.

 

[AsherDearing]

I’ve just decided that I’d rather be happy then manly.

To be honest, I don’t really think you can square this with the stereotypical view of masculinity. But I am happy just being a soft boy who loves to cuddle, likes his teddy bears and loves to be a baby boy. I think I can be a source of positivity in peoples lives and can provide a lot of love to the right person, and I think thats better than being a stereotypical manly man.

 

[cuteingly]

To be honest, I don’t really think you can square this with the stereotypical view of masculinity. But I am happy just being a soft boy who loves to cuddle, likes his teddy bears and loves to be a baby boy. I think I can be a source of positivity in peoples lives and can provide a lot of love to the right person, and I think thats better than being a stereotypical manly man.

What we were taught over growing up has been revealed to be different to the reality that we grew into.
Perhaps a real adult feels more authentic in their lives than one who becomes a slave to society?
After all, there's nothing wrong with not leaving behind those pleasant qualities that we had as children, and to enjoy the things that we enjoyed in our earlier lives.
Remembering that all adults grew from children, is it really surprising to have developed attachments over the years?

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

You're as manly as you want to be. Re-evaluate what really makes a man and ignore society's false definition.

For starters a man is self secure in what he likes and tells everyone else to piss off.

Perfectly said. Men should be secure in their masculinity.

 

[SissyDinNappies]

Perfectly said. Men should be secure in their masculinity.

Or femininity

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Do what I want. Come try and stop me, you'll learn what a man is quick.

 

[babywolfboy]

Every man is a baby/child at some point! There's nothing separating childish stuff from boys or adult men, you were a kid once, too!

 

[dogboy]

I deal with it by accepting myself. Nobody has a right to dictate to me which of my feelings are valid and which aren't. People typically feel shame when they feel like they aren't living up to their own standards. So, you may want to consider reevaluating your personal standards if you are feeling shame.

You don't have to conform to other's standards of "manliness". That's society trying to pressure you into performing the expected gender role. Many people would say that ABDL doesn't really conform to male gender standards. But, you don't need to let other people define which of your personal feelings are acceptable and which aren't.

Don't let anyone define your gender for you. It's a personal reflection of your feelings. And of course, none of this changes your biological sex. Gender isn't biological sex.

The LGBTQ community has resources to help people with gender dysphoria. A lot of this is for trans people. But, it can apply to anyone who is having difficulty with being comfortable with meeting societal gender expectations.

We had a thread asking what it was to be a man. For me, a man is someone who cares about other people, about peoples feelings. If he's married with children, he's kind to his kids, comforting and sensitive to them. A man isn't someone who can beat the daylights out of another man, but one who can cry during a sad part in a movie.

Society bullies people into what the majority believes, that majority being some of the dumbest people on earth. Because of social media, these people have a voice and because they have a voice instead of intelligence, they use that misguided voice again and again.

So be you. I vacillate day to day with my sexuality. Today I'm wearing a shirt that says Diaper Boy (I'm home all day...haha.) Tomorrow I'll be at work so I'll be all male. Saturday I may be wearing a diaper and girl clothes. I don't live for what the dumb bunnies think but I am careful that they never know who I am. They don't deserve my respect or my knowledge and they don't deserve to know who I am. They haven't earned it.

 

[Diaperboy27]

You're as manly as you want to be. Re-evaluate what really makes a man and ignore society's false definition.

For starters a man is self secure in what he likes and tells everyone else to piss off.

Amen brother, he’s right do right by you & fuck the crowd, we only got one chance in this world live like there’s no tomorrow, so you have no regrets later on in life, do what you can do now before you can’t! I want to build a garage with my dad so I can have classic vehicles if I do this now I can enjoy it for the rest of my life like “hey I came up with this & im proud I lived it out!”

 

[Halibut]

there is value in looking past traditional gender norms, but that's not always easy for everyone and it can be very hard to just be yourself. but atleast know that your intrests aren't unusual for guys and that everyone here (people with similar intrests and a lot of the people who would want to date you) either don't care, support you, think your masculine, relate to you. plenty of people will love specificly because of your kinks. and maybe with that mindset things will get easier.

but in the meantime, while your still working things out, consider this:

ABDL can be really masculine if you want to be. I mean its all about being a BOY
like come on, toy trucks, action figures, sharks, dinos? are these things not inherently kiddy and masculine at the same time?
try playing in a mud puddle or knock over a tower of bricks pretending to be godzilla the next time you want to get in touch with your masculinity.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I don't deal with man & woman; they are both subsects of humanity, ignoring their commonalities, wasting years & opportunities by focusing on their differences...and fighting over them. So much for human...and so much for equality. Their equality is achieved as casualties on the battlefield of their own making. What a waste.

Masculinity & femininity are second-place. Humanity is the higher plain of existence.

 

[BuddyBoy]

Hi all,

I was just wondering how you dudes out there get over the shame of not being "manly" with this kink. I feel like I have like the most emasculating set of kinks. Obviously, ABDL is my primary kink, but I've also experimented with other kinks, such as chastity, sissification, and cuckolding in past relationships.

Obviously, I enjoy indulging my kinks, even as far as going 24/7 in diapers and chastity since the beginning of this school semester. Outside of kink, I feel very like I'm very successful, double majoring in Computer Science and Cybersecurity, having a internship with a Pentesting company, and having a few certifications. But at the same time, I feel a sense of shame that I'm not as "manly" or like I won't be desirable to date because of this. How do you all deal with this?

Jackson, you have received a lot of different perspectives to your query and I would like to offer mine now that I have had a chance to think about it. Have you ever considered that in addition to being ashamed that you are not manly you may be ashamed that you are not an adult in spite of your chronological age? I came to this realization about myself when I was well into adulthood age wise. My psychosexual age is early adolescence and will always be. I don't go around announcing it but I am content with my status as a perpetual juvenile sissy male. Let me know what you think.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Have you ever considered that in addition to being ashamed that you are not manly you may be ashamed that you are not an adult in spite of your chronological age?

An extremely valid & profound question. I would personally answer with an emphatic "Yes".

 

[Deleted member 73206]

Its as masculine as you decide it is. I'm trans so personally emasculation is a goal and not a negative, but still you're still valid as a manly as fuck dude even with your kinks. Probably some really tough dudes out there who have this kink, it only draws away from it based on societal standards, and what is manly about being told how to be a man? :

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Its as masculine as you decide it is. I'm trans so personally emasculation is a goal and not a negative, but still you're still valid as a manly as fuck dude even with your kinks. Probably some really tough dudes out there who have this kink, it only draws away from it based on societal standards, and what is manly about being told how to be a man? :

I feel that infancy & toddlerhood are the most-gender-neutral times of a human life, the time when real gender-neutral and human sensitivity can be formed, cultivated in a young life. What distresses me is how parents hammer gender-ID and gender roles into kids during their Diaper Eras...and give those kids little chance to express what they like, what they want. "PINK for girls! BLUE for boys!" "100% Disney/Winnie the Pooh/Beatrix Potter/PBS/Caillou for my kid!", "My girl's gonna be a ballerina!", "MY BOY'S GONNA BE A LINEBACKER AND A LEADER OF MEN...OR ELSE!".

What saddens me is how parents use a child's first childhood as their very own second childhoods. Living vicariously through the kids. Gads...

 

[LittleAndAlone]

An extremely valid & profound question. I would personally answer with an emphatic "Yes".

I'd say hell no. I've seen the way 'adults' act to one another and want no part of it.

I feel that infancy & toddlerhood are the most-gender-neutral times of a human life, the time when real gender-neutral and human sensitivity can be formed, cultivated in a young life. What distresses me is how parents hammer gender-ID and gender roles into kids during their Diaper Eras...and give those kids little chance to express what they like, what they want. "PINK for girls! BLUE for boys!" "100% Disney/Winnie the Pooh/Beatrix Potter/PBS/Caillou for my kid!", "My girl's gonna be a ballerina!", "MY BOY'S GONNA BE A LINEBACKER AND A LEADER OF MEN...OR ELSE!".

What saddens me is how parents use a child's first childhood as their very own second childhoods. Living vicariously through the kids. Gads...

Oh god... football thug fathers are the worst with perpetuating toxic masculinity. Punching their 5 yr old on the arm "be a man don't cry" got their kids dressed like they just got out of prison like that kind of life and image is a status symbol. Today's men, if they even stick around, are such wonderful role models for children.

My nephews look up to me and I just tell them I look up to them and just want to be like them.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I'd say hell no. I've seen the way 'adults' act to one another and want no part of it.

Oh, gads...what did I type? I need to stop posting right as I awaken...I am not ashamed of not being 'manly', nor am I ashamed of seeming younger than my chrono age (a.k.a. "immature"). I am me.

I know I have let many down in those departments...but they let me down, too. All I heard growing up was the two-faced rhetoric of humanity & gender ID...we can't have both. Some of those who pounded me with that are dead, some alive. It seems most of them lived long enough to regret what they told me...and regret they considered/called me a "retard".

And so, this is "Too soon old, too late smart". Bad enough I'm cursed with a smattering of it. Ugh.

 

[Ali123]

I’d much rather be happy than manly. Whatever ‘manly’ is.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

I’d much rather be happy than manly. Whatever ‘manly’ is.

Today it means being an abusive narcissistic self centered asshole. One willing to do anything to 1up and flex and posture on the next closest random stranger even if it's self destructive to do so and nothing to gain.