Going to wear diapers 24/7 at 21. Looking for advices

[Diaperman95]

Ah molicare was about to say the only product I've found worse than a single ply paper towel but attends are also in that category it's a shame it's not a standardised format across the UK does my head in, I recently got them to change my pads not back to tena but go up in absorbent levels to super and maxi great I though problem solved oh no now ive gone up the quantity I get has been reduced so i get one change in the morning one when i get home from work and one when i go to bed "very comfortable" I don't want to change my self more than three times a day thank you NHS I sound like a right grumbler at least ive got something provided to me I think the part that gets me grumbling is when I see what other primary care providers are giving out seems unjust.

I've wished for that option for a long time as well just give me a budget and I'll buy what product I want and if I need to contribute more I will even if it was through and NHS purchasing site.

I think that what the NHS providers can't understand is that one product doesn't fit all you only have to come on here to find that out you've got people who prefer Tena, ID, drylife, Abena and some even like molicare and attends and what they can't seem to understand is that you try these products and they fit differently, or absorb differently, clump differently, big one is the sit test does it hold without leaving a wet mark and all of this helps save your dignity while all they can think of is saving a few pence.

And sorry OP I went slightly off topic to see if I could help someone else then got into a rant..

My tuppence would be this see a health care provider first as many have said if I could go back and push doctors more to fix my issue when it first began I would I feel like they ignored me because I was young they were very dismissive now I'm battling infection after infection with the prospect that at some point its going to hit my kidneys and its not going to end well and I really don't want this I'd quite like to live a long happy life that's free of illness.

Very sad too because back in the day I use to wear and love the old Attends. They would never be as good as diapers today but they was leaps better than diapers of the 90's. But Molicare is the real shocker how bad they have gotten as they was leading the way with the old purple supers years ago. I was given a couple by a urologist and they changed my life. They was the first quality high cap diaper I ever used. They was a good deal better than abena. Funny as the $54 bucks a case was my biggest gripe back in the day, for 56 of them that was pretty good! LOL How do these companies go backwards. Depends believe it or not was a solid diaper in the 90's too Especially their overnight version. But they all want to chase the thinner clothback design that sounds appealing... Unless you are the one that has to count on it!!!!!!!

 

[Nicebo]

Always pack more diapers than you need
Always have a change of clothes and spare diapers etc in boot/trunk of your car
Plastic or PUL pants
Wipes
Set a changing routine
Leaks will happen when you least expect so be prepared

Wow, thanks!
Will leaks happen despite how absorbent my diaper is and how well I put in on?
How often is possible that I will leak no matter how good I act?
I once leaked when having my Tena Man plus, but It was expected because I had a very big urge of a big void... But is this supposed to happen anlso with a maximum absorbency tape-on diaper?

 

[Nicebo]

If you haven’t before, try it for a week or a month and see if it’s actually helpful. If you find it to be a net benefit, keep going. There’s no shame in it and for people with frustrating and misbehaving bladders they can be really helpful and releiving. If you haven’t, try and see a urologist to discover why it’s happening. Based on your meds comment I assume you have. And keep cost considerations in mind like others said too.

As far as consequences go, they take a pretty long time to manifest fully. I think you will know how well they work for you long before any kind of atrophy or degradation of control starts to sink in. The only way to really know is to try it. I started using diapers a lot more frequently in November and have had no change to my control or frequency yet…it’s still awful, but a lot easier to manage due to the diaper.

I've been in pull ups almost 24/7 for the last 6-7 years, with some breaks in between. I wore them like a sort of just in case thing and more like a psicologic protection because I knew whenever I couldn't handle an urge to pee I was not 100% exposed. Practically I've been relying only on my bathroom routine because I just feel I can't fully trust my pull-ups in case of an actual accident. Now I want to wear a protection that I cant trust and I can just let it go without worries. I feel like I want it strongly despite how unconvenitent it might be for my daily life and difficult to manage, because believe it or not, I feel like a liberating thing to do that would set me free from planning all my bathroom travels and also form the fear of judgment and the menance of going back to diapers because I have already accepted and embraced it

 

[Diaperman95]

You know in the UK if you have incontinence problems they do supply you with incontinence products free of charge on the NHS and they will be a lot better than the dry nights your using. All you need to do is get in touch with your local continence clinic and as your profile says London if you still live there it seems most people get good products (usually Tena) down south, up north were left to use ID slip which to be fair will still hold more than a dry night.

Wow you guys are lucky. Medicare pays a big ZERO and so does most Medicare advantage plans. I have used some poor cheap made diapers in my life and I will never go back. So If medicare does ever decide to buy diapers I doubt they would pay for my mega max. It pisses me off... Incontinence is one of the biggest health challenges people face.Why does the government not make insurance companies in the US pay for such a common needed product. 12.6 Billion was spent on incontinent products in 2023.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I am in nappies full time as I have very limited bladder control during the day and no control at night. I wear large tena comfort extra or super pads and net fixing pants with padded washable in co pants during the day and tena maxi slips and padded in co pants and waterproof pants at night.

 

[Nicebo]

I wet at night every night my whole life. I’ve worn diapers to bed forever. Really didn’t like being a bedwetter growing up because of the peer shame I would have to endure. I was kept in thick cloth pin on diapers with plastic pants. Mixed feelings really because by age 8 or 9 I had become a dl and looked forward to taking my bath then laying down spread eagle watching my mom pin my diapers on. I missed it when she started making me do it myself at 12 or 13. I struggled with daytime leaking as well and always had to find a bathroom 15+ times a day to try and control most of my wetting.
Anyway I didn’t choose to add quality disposables to daytime until 18 years ago. I should have done it sooner because I no longer had constant stress about daytime leaking and everything was under control. I commend you on your decision with just a couple suggestions. Try and get used to your wetting schedule. Use quality disposables and for me I use tranquility boosters in my diapers to get the max absorbency. Traveling is tricky and must be planned for. Try and just your mind to the fact and don’t shy away from it. I don’t broadcast I’m in dipers but don’t hide from it either. When I need to share a hotel room, or health club with someone I will speak frankly that I’m functionally incontinent and wear protection for it. I have never had any immature reaction to doing so. I sometimes get questions regarding why and isn’t there a solution besides diapers. I simply explain I have a neurogenic bladder and as my urologist put it my bladder reacts like a babies in that bladder/brain connections don’t work properly.
In short being a diaper lover and needing them is a wonderful place to be.

Thank you for all the suggestions, What diapers did you have the chance to wear till now? I also would like to know more about boosters. seems like they're pads made for being put into the diaper to add capacity. How much more capacity can they add to the diaper? Do they help to reduce the number of changes during the day? Do they make the diaper much thicker and noticeable?

 

[mirrored22]

I've been in pull ups almost 24/7 for the last 6-7 years, with some breaks in between. I wore them like a sort of just in case thing and more like a psicologic protection because I knew whenever I couldn't handle an urge to pee I was not 100% exposed. Practically I've been relying only on my bathroom routine because I just feel I can't fully trust my pull-ups in case of an actual accident. Now I want to wear a protection that I cant trust and I can just let it go without worries. I feel like I want it strongly despite how unconvenitent it might be for my daily life and difficult to manage, because believe it or not, I feel like a liberating thing to do that would set me free from planning all my bathroom travels and also form the fear of judgment and the menance of going back to diapers because I have already accepted and embraced it

I know exactly how you feel about it being liberating! I feel the same way, its really nice to just relax and not have to worry about it for a while. I am not 24/7 diapers (been trying to transition, but its difficult for me) but I do use them often when it just gets tiring having to manage my typical routine and take a break from it. Even though I often get a bit weary of managing the diaper routine after a while (for both practical reasons and the anxiety around judgement and self consciousness that you mentioned,) it can be very freeing to just not...deal with my body's bullshit for a little while.

For people with incontinence, overactive bladder, or urinary frequency issues, framing that the choice is between "losing control or keeping it" isn't really accurate. Its about finding the best way to manage your bladder dysfunction that works for you. You are the only person who has to live with your body so your opinion is really the only one that matters. And if diapers are the thing that let you get a better quality of life, there is no real reason not to wear them!

 

[SamESpencer]

Hi there

I’m a male who just turned 21 and my journey that brought me to this decision of the title starts 10 years ago or so, when symptoms of OAB started to show up. First of all If you are wondering, I have already decided, I want to go 24/7, even though it might not be strictly necessary. I still have some control over my bladder and mediacations helped a lot, but this desn’t stop my curiosity to try out diapers and also think that this would be the best solution for me. Im only a bit afraid if I think that this is going to be a permanent change and after there’s no way back.

A little bit of my story: I think I lived such a moment when I wass 100% potty trained and continent and whenever I remember those days, I really miss that. But now the reality is different. I started to have a number of sudden and strong urgencies, along with some leaking episodes, during my teen years. I remember the first time I leaked, My mom took me from school and as she needed to go to a store to buy some stuff before coming home, she brought me with her. Seems like it was too much time for me to wait and I felt a big urge to go, since there were no toilets around, holding became a real struggle and all I was able to do is made it to the car but then I just wet myself. This was really embarassing, my mother scolded me because she said I didn’t go to the toilets in school, which was not true. Since this me and my mother discovered I have a problem and I came to terms that I couldn’t wait more than 2 hours without any trip to the bathroom. Since things were not improving, I started wearing pull-ups around the 7 grade. OMG was it embaressing. Fortunaltely, I carefully scheduled my toliet routine so very rarely I acutally wet my pull-ups, they rather were just in case, but with the time I felt how hard I trusted not wearing any protection, I felt much more relaxed and safe with a pull-up on. I started also to have bedwetting episodes so I often wore protection during night as well.

Once me and my family had to take a long travel by car on vacation, this is whem my mom forced me to wear a tape-on diaper. She said “you’re pullups are gojng to leak and I don’t want to clean my car if you wet it”. This time I fighted because the idea of wearing a “true diaper” really hit me. I was around 14 or 15 and it was an adult diaper (maybe a Depend?) since I was big enough for not wearing baby diapers anymore. This was the time I started to know the world of adult diapers, which brough me to learn about ABDLs and incontinent adults later on. I was super embarassed despite no one outisde my family would know, it felt so regressing, but at the same time I felt very safe and the fact it was plastic backed it was a whole new sensation for me. It was humiliating when my parents, my brother and sister went to the toilets at the gas station when we took a break, while I was not allowed to, I just had to stay diapered. I remember also how much I was surprised at the end of the travel about my diaper being so full, soggy and heavy, this was the first time I experienced carring more than one void in my “underwear” and was both amazed and scared about the result. I can't also forget what my mom commented that time, she said something like “If you keep drinking so much fruit juice, you may need a much thicker and more absorbent diaper!” These words also have wandered in my mind quite a bit…

I kept being embarassed about my issue, I kept wanting to outgrow pull-ups or diapers or whatever protection. But at the same time the whole idea of wearing diapers as an adult started to get interesting to me. I discovered the market of incontinence products, learned about different diapers brands and of course dicovered sites and forums like this one. Despite is not common find others at my age who have any sort of incontinence issue, I feel really glad and reassured there are other people like me. It’s a feeling of comfort that no one, not my family or doctors and my friends neither provided me.

What I feel lately is I am very tired of my condition, Im tired of scheduling my bathroom routine, I can’t stand that I feel exposed and not really safe even when I went to the toilet just 20-30 min ago… Im tired of my bedwetting and the fact that I often have to wash my sheets (at least my mother does).

I can’t do nothing but thinking about going to wear diapers and do it full time, like literally giving up underwear. This particulary since I started my job and found myself a flat to live in. This is like the perfect occasion to wear diapers without feeling like anyone is looking and therefore judging me. My mother also agreed to give me finiancial support, so now I just have to choose which brand to buy. I don’t know what to start with among Northshore, Molicare Maxi, Betterdry, Beyond XP 500, Tranquillity… I often lurk on the internet and watch pics of diapers and adults wearing diapers… and I really feel sort of jealous about them. Those thick white diapers seem to be so safe and comfortable. I don’t know why but I am so excited and curious to see how they would look on me lol.

I still have to figure out what consequences this is going to have. I don’t know how it is going to combine wiht going to the gym, goin to the beach, going to a sleepover. Also I hardly imagine this to bring out in a future relationship (I’m single right now) but again, the desire and the enthusiasm to start this new life in diapers is just too strong. I have to find a way to dress in order to be sure no one is going to notice when I’m out of home, I read people suggest to get on size bigger pants so Im also thinking about purchasing them.

So here I am about to start this new journey and wanted to share this with you, whatever advise and commment is well accepted,

Thank you!

Be sure to remember before doing this that you have to money to pay for them. As someone who is fully both bowel and bladder incontinent because of nerve damage caused by MS and poor control of type 1 diabetes I can tell you the cost is a punch in the gut about 5 dollars 50 cents a day in my case. It is not just the diapers it is the wipes, even as a man cleaning up the diapered area is necessary to avoid skin irritation. I would highly advise to try drinking extra water because it might be concentrated urine that is causing you oab to act up and if it is not then you will be doing something to help prevent diaper rashes. Most importantly talk to your doctor because as I and many others will show these kind of things are usually a sign of other health problems.

 

[LifeInPlastic]

While I have the opinon that noone should be judged for their choice of underwear, it is especially true if you have a medical condition. Having some control means you have a wider choice of products that might work for you and depending of how big or small the voidings are maybe even more as you would not always need the thick capacity monsters. Choosing more absorbend products just to have some peace of mind and go on prolonged activities is absolutely fine and your damn right. Why should you skimp on quality of life?
If pullups work for you and do good, leak free job than that is a big plus. You still have the opportunity to make it to the bathroom and if not - it ain't so bad. But especially when out of home diapers are simply the most pragmatic choice. You can put them on without completely undressing your lower half(including shoes). Contraty to many(but not all) pads or pullups they can be rolled up and safely taped close when you can't dispose of them in a stall or are in the outdoors. Noone wants a loose pad/pull-up floating around in the bag/backpack.
On that note belted diapers might be just perfect if you still want to use the bathroom when possible. They do combine the advantages of fast undress of a pull-up and the ease of dispose and change of a tab-style diaper.
Apart from getting insurance to cover for your needs(which you REALLY should - it is a medical condition after all), there is one thing that can help cut down costs - cloth diapers. If you have a washing machine and tumbler/enough room to hang them out for drying it is a great way to save money and minimize landfill. But that really is dependant on your living situation.

As others mentioned - do try do maintain as much control as you can. Even if it still goes into a diaper - try to maintain conciousness and control as best as you can. Since you did not explicitly mentioned your doc marathon - go see some urologists. In most cases incontinence can be treated in some way or form and it is worth a try as long as side effects don't outweight benefits. Good luck finding an accepting girlfriend, though. Women talk a lot about understaning and empathy until it's actually needed. At least that is my anecdotal evidence.

Cheers