Fetishism and Christianity

[SophiaNuw]

Since it is your first time, step back for a minute and breathe. Most of us have gone through a binge and purge cycle and it is easy to end up there and usually not helpful.

From a Christian point of view it is not straight forward. Diapers themselves are an "object" with a "end purpose". They themselves are not inherently sinful but a practical object with a purpose.

However, if wearing them is only for sexual purposes then it would be sinful outside of a marriage (per Christian teaching). But within a marriage if part of you and your spouses sexual activity it would likley be fine.

Only you can make these determinations in your motivation. But I would challenge with this. Is it really just sexual or so new it arouses you? Could it be comforting?

You said you did not feel safe. I would explore that emotion and see if there is any link to previous stress or trauma. If so speaking with a therapist or confidant might be worth it. If not then ask where and why you did not feel safe.

Also the Catholic catechism has a concept of "inordinate attachment" that comes from the early church. It could be that previous conditioning has created an emotional or pscological attachment worth thinking about it.

But slow down a bit and pray about it. I would be happy to tell you how I reconciled it but that may not be helpful to you if your motivations and intent are differant than mine. But wearing a diaper is not objectively sinful.

Remember the Christian God is a God of grace. Some struggle is expected. But stepping back and asking the question is a good start.

Feel free to PM me if you wish to talk it through with somebody.

I have no clue how to send PMs, but thanks for the offer.

I guess you're right that i'm quite hasty in my conclusion, and that it might be healthy to step back and take a breather.

But yeah, my biggest issue is definitely the thing about it feeling wrong to practice something sexual outside of marriage.
I just don't want diapers to become a part of my life that takes up more space than it needs to. I feel that if i start pursuing this fetish, that it won't bring me anything meaningful and it will just bring me further from god.

 

[SophiaNuw]

If that were the case you would not have this reaction to that conclusion. Clearly nappies mean more to you than a fetish or you wouldn't be upset by the thought.
You appear to be jumping to a conclusion on the basis of an experience not being as you expected, even though you may not have been clear on what to expect.

I've been there, as have many others here, shame is not the way forwards.


That value will reassert itself, it is intrinsic and real. As valid as indeed is your sexuality.
The world is a mysterious place, do not lose faith at the first doubt.

But what should i do? Maybe shame isn't the way to go, but i don't know how i can balance this.
Should i just buy new diapers and continue to masturbate in them? What did you do, and how has it developed over time for you?

 

[todderhr]

I have no clue how to send PMs, but thanks for the offer.

I guess you're right that i'm quite hasty in my conclusion, and that it might be healthy to step back and take a breather.

But yeah, my biggest issue is definitely the thing about it feeling wrong to practice something sexual outside of marriage.
I just don't want diapers to become a part of my life that takes up more space than it needs to. I feel that if i start pursuing this fetish, that it won't bring me anything meaningful and it will just bring me further from god.

I think you should do what your heart tells you, without self-judgement. You are loved by God. He cares for you.

 

[SophiaNuw]

I think you should do what your heart tells you, without self-judgement. You are loved by God. He cares for you.

That's the problem. I don't feel like this is my heart talking, but rather my brain just being high on dopamine.

 

[todderhr]

That's the problem. I don't feel like this is my heart talking, but rather my brain just being high on dopamine.

It's because it's new (old) experience to you and touches feelings you've had from early childhood. Nothing wrong with that. For me it makes me feel safe and loved. At first it was sexually charged but the more exposure to it will lessen that. Is it a good experience for you?

 

[Newbaby110521]

Being ABDL and a Christian can be confusing. Particularly if your church or family are very conservative. As a Christian I have felt shame about my ABDL feelings and lifestyle but when I tried to shut it down it just came back and bit me in the ass. In a way I feel like the worship song writer Vicky Beeching she once asked God ‘I’m a Christian and a lesbian what are you going to do about it?’ I feel similar just replace lesbian with ABDL. I try (and often fail) to keep my ABDL lifestyle non sexual having been sexually abused as a kid. But I found the book ‘Being an Adult Baby’ by Michel Bent was really helpful and also I’ve realised overall I don’t think God really minds what underwear you like to use as long as you keep him as your priority and if you are struggling with shame remember:
You are Gods precious child
He loves you unconditionally
He loves you as you are
He forgives you when you screw up
He cares about your feelings and problems
He is always there for you
Never forget he loves you.

In addition I’d like to include a couple of lyrics from some songs to drive home the forgiveness thing:
‘A thousand times I’ve failed still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again I’m caught in your grace’
And
‘Go and sin no more
I will not condemn you I forgive and forget it all
Go and sin no more
My child let me remind you it is I who lead and guide you as you go’

 

[Anemone]

But what should i do? Maybe shame isn't the way to go, but i don't know how i can balance this.
Should i just buy new diapers and continue to masturbate in them? What did you do, and how has it developed over time for you?

I can't say what anyone should do but here are my thoughts.

Stopping masturbating is very difficult, if that is the goal then it may be best to not have nappies around if they are a temptation. This wouldn't have to mean a commitment to giving them up, just to hold back until a new normal is established.

If you are resigned to continuing to masturbate then you might as well do it in nappies. It feels nice and lacks the moral problem of pornography.

Personally (very abridged history time) I gave up nappies, along with masturbation, just over four years ago when I had a fairly major reality check and had to confront my porn addiction before I went into terminal decline.

This abstinence lasted until this Summer when, for various reasons, I reevaluated my position. Nappies are back, porn is still out.

I now allow myself to masturbate and to wear Nappies and occasionally I do. What has changed from my past is I allow myself this, instead of waiting the very short time until "I have to".

Mostly what I get from them now is security that I can if I want to, instead of feeling I need them to plug an emotional hole. Now that I can wear when I want I don't actually wear very often and when I do it is more about getting into little space.

Sexuality still invades this sometimes, particularly if I am out of time, but I believe it was never all about sex - rather that used to be all I could see because it was just in the way and blocking the view of my other needs.

How much of this is applicable to you I don't know but there is usually an argument for finding the right balance rather than throwing things out wholesale.

I am fairly incapable of religiosity so there are things I may not be able to understand but it strikes me that faith, though an important part of your life, is not everything and that is okay. There is room in your life for a range and breadth of experience. If faith won't share then it is just being spoiled, as sexual compulsion was once for me, and appeasement is never the answer.

Temperance in all things.

 

[sciencedude]

I've run into the same thing as a Christian. For a long time, my intent was to wear diapers only once I got married. I was able to keep it up for periods of time, but then I would slip. I eventually found a compromise, where I only wear diapers if I can stop myself from reaching climax indefinitely. I do this by distracting myself, or if I stick to something that I have a reduced response to. Not sure that is called, but overtime, I have less of a response to wearing a diaper (i.e. erection), because I constantly wear diapers.

 

[ARBBB2]

(asking anyone that is not incontinent)) So did anyone wear their diapers to church on the first day of the new year? I did and had to lead the church, (up front) in singing the Kyria. I don't wear to church to often but it sure feels nice to be diapered there. My pastor knows I wear and wet diapers and is fine with it!

 

[ARBBB2]

Ok?

 

[dogboy]

I never wear diapers to church but if it's just a rehearsal, I'm in my Baby Pants Almost a Big Kid training pants because that's my go to underwear. Since I'm a music director, wearing a diaper would distract me from doing my job.

 

[Newbaby110521]

I could never wear to church I’d be scared stiff. I have considered talking about this with my pastor or one of the pastoral team but I have a certain reputation in the church and since I may want to get more involved with the youth work there and how ABDL is often confused with paedophilic tendencies I don’t want to risk him getting the idea maybe I should talk to the Roman Catholic priest in town no chance of this getting out when it’s under the seal of confession.

 

[todderhr]

I’ve worn to chuch quite a bit. But diapers are not sexual for me most of the time.

 

[Babybike2]

But what should i do? Maybe shame isn't the way to go, but i don't know how i can balance this.
Should i just buy new diapers and continue to masturbate in them? What did you do, and how has it developed over time for you?

This fetish did not just randomly happen for you, or or me. You very likely have deep emotional trauma that you may or may not be aware of. I recommend you explore this. A Christian counselor who I worked with for about a year had me write out the history of my fetish as best as I understand it; then the history of my relationship with each of my parents. As we discussed these short essays, he asked insightful questions that opened my eyes to what happened and the impact left on me. What you are looking for are the "Whacks" and the "Lacks". Whacks are the traumatic things done to you and could be physical or emotional in nature. An example would be physical and emotional abuse. Lacks are the things that were not done for you that should have been. Lack of love, lack of affection, or just lack of a parents time with you are examples of "Lacks". You may have to look beyond your immediate family. Also, the trauma you have experienced does not have to be "dramatic" (i.e. sexual abuse) to leave a lasting impact. Your vulnerability at the time can turn a seemingly disparaging curt comment by a parent, teacher, or other authority figure in to a traumatic event. If that was a pattern repeated over and over, it was amplified to the point it became buried deep in your psyche.

This will take some time and soul searching and will not by itself make you better. But this discovery will help you understand a lot about your self including why you react the way you do; the anxiety you experience; and a host of other emotions you have. With this understanding, you can develop a plan to better deal with the things that cause you undue emotional stress and drives you to your coping mechanism, which in our case is masturbating in our diapers.

Think of this process as a journey to healing. It will take time. For me, it appears it will be a life long journey. But then is not Christianity a life long journey? The Apostle Paul writes in 2 Timothy 7 & 8: 7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

 

[ARBBB2]

This fetish did not just randomly happen for you, or or me. You very likely have deep emotional trauma that you may or may not be aware of. I recommend you explore this. A Christian counselor who I worked with for about a year had me write out the history of my fetish as best as I understand it; then the history of my relationship with each of my parents. As we discussed these short essays, he asked insightful questions that opened my eyes to what happened and the impact left on me. What you are looking for are the "Whacks" and the "Lacks". Whacks are the traumatic things done to you and could be physical or emotional in nature. An example would be physical and emotional abuse. Lacks are the things that were not done for you that should have been. Lack of love, lack of affection, or just lack of a parents time with you are examples of "Lacks". You may have to look beyond your immediate family. Also, the trauma you have experienced does not have to be "dramatic" (i.e. sexual abuse) to leave a lasting impact. Your vulnerability at the time can turn a seemingly disparaging curt comment by a parent, teacher, or other authority figure in to a traumatic event. If that was a pattern repeated over and over, it was amplified to the point it became buried deep in your psyche.

This will take some time and soul searching and will not by itself make you better. But this discovery will help you understand a lot about your self including why you react the way you do; the anxiety you experience; and a host of other emotions you have. With this understanding, you can develop a plan to better deal with the things that cause you undue emotional stress and drives you to your coping mechanism, which in our case is masturbating in our diapers.

Think of this process as a journey to healing. It will take time. For me, it appears it will be a life long journey. But then is not Christianity a life long journey? The Apostle Paul writes in 2 Timothy 7 & 8: 7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

(37 years of different therapists, some more screwed up than should be allowed to be out there in the public) I have done that with the last two therapists I saw, finally got to the root of it, I am fine with it , mine was lack, but my love map is so screwed up since it started at three years of age that I can recall that that it started, they think also there was something related in my first year of live being I was potty trained at 9 months old, also the fact that my mother and aunt had a lot of weird stuff in there lives.

 

[Babybike2]

(37 years of different therapists, some more screwed up than should be allowed to be out there in the public) I have done that with the last two therapists I saw, finally got to the root of it, I am fine with it , mine was lack, but my love map is so screwed up since it started at three years of age that I can recall that that it started, they think also there was something related in my first year of live being I was potty trained at 9 months old, also the fact that my mother and aunt had a lot of weird stuff in there lives.

Wow, sounds like you have quite the story to tell. Kudos to you for all the hard work you have put in to understanding this and coming to peace with it!

 

[ARBBB2]

Wow, sounds like you have quite the story to tell. Kudos to you for all the hard work you have put in to understanding this and coming to peace with it!

thanks!!

 

[PinkDiaperSissy]

I am a christian and that has let me to believe that my sexual desires aren't going to lead me to any happiness or anything meaningful if it isn't grounded in love.
And if i'm truly honest with myself, this isn't love. It's a desire, desire for a meaningless object that brings me very temporary pleasure.

As a former Christian, take my advice with a grain of salt, but I have the benefit of having been where you're at and have some thoughts.

One of the things I've realized since I left is that many Christian faiths, especially American ones, tend to emphasize a strong separation between the mind and body--"I" and "me" is often implicitly separate from "my body" or even "my brain". From my perspective now, I don't see these are clearly separable phenomena. "I" am my body, just as much as I am my consciousness (or spirit, or soul or what-have-you). My sexual desires are as much a part of me as my inner voice.

When I was younger and still a believer, I focused and ruminated on that distinction and was endlessly frustrated that "I" could not overcome my body, and that frustration festered and turned to bitterness and self-loathing. As a non-believer, I've come to understand that self-love is also love, and a love that I frequently banished from my life in my youth, and I was the poorer for it.

So, be kind to yourself even for indulging some sexual desires now and then that don't hurt others. If you ask me, God is forgiving, and your body (which God created for you) is as much a part of you as the mind that prays to him.

 

[Babybike2]

As a former Christian, take my advice with a grain of salt, but I have the benefit of having been where you're at and have some thoughts.

One of the things I've realized since I left is that many Christian faiths, especially American ones, tend to emphasize a strong separation between the mind and body--"I" and "me" is often implicitly separate from "my body" or even "my brain". From my perspective now, I don't see these are clearly separable phenomena. "I" am my body, just as much as I am my consciousness (or spirit, or soul or what-have-you). My sexual desires are as much a part of me as my inner voice.

When I was younger and still a believer, I focused and ruminated on that distinction and was endlessly frustrated that "I" could not overcome my body, and that frustration festered and turned to bitterness and self-loathing. As a non-believer, I've come to understand that self-love is also love, and a love that I frequently banished from my life in my youth, and I was the poorer for it.

So, be kind to yourself even for indulging some sexual desires now and then that don't hurt others. If you ask me, God is forgiving, and your body (which God created for you) is as much a part of you as the mind that prays to him.

I'm sorry for your frustration with the faith. Like you, I don't think of mind, body, and spirit as separate entities where it is necessary or desirable for one to rule over the other. I see these as parts of the whole self that in order for a person to be healthy, all three of these "parts" must be in harmony with one another.

The amazing thing about Christianity, and the thing that separates it from all other religions, is that God, in the form of Jesus the Son, came to earth and live among us. Just like you and me, He has a body, mind, and spirit. Therefore, he experienced all the same joys and tragedies of life, all the same temptations, and all the same joys as we do. Christianity is a relationship with God the Father, through Jesus the Son, aided by the Holy Spirit (again we have 3 entities that being in perfect harmony with one another, make up the whole).

So take heart my friend. God loves you and as he has demonstrated through Jesus the Son, meets us where we are at, loves us, heals us, and takes away our sin, so we may live in harmony with ourselves, others, and with Him.

 

[steviet]

As an outsider to Christianity, I find it hard to believe that sexual purity is central to the religion. Isn't Christianity supposed to be about loving God and loving your neighbors? How would ABDL get in the way of loving God or loving your neighbors?

We have lots of desires for things that give us temporary pleasure. Most of those desires aren't sexual. Music, dancing, plays, movies, and games (including sports) all give us temporary pleasure. Are non-sexual desires for temporary pleasure bad and impure? Should we do nothing but put food on the table and study the Bible? A benevolent God wouldn't want such an impoverished life for us. If sexual desires are distinctively bad and impure, why are they bad and impure?

I can't help thinking that some of the Biblical doctrines about sex were intended for specific social contexts. The Law of Moses was law for a people that was trying to build a new home after fleeing Egypt and wandering in the desert for forty years. It was important to have more children and grow the population. Maybe it made sense to have social rules that pressured people to have children and discouraged forms of sexuality that won't result in children. Now we live in a world with eight billion people. We need to keep having children, but we don't need to increase the population.

Jesus lived in Roman times. Rome was a slave society, and prostitution was common. Some of the norms early Christian leaders adopted may have been intended to protect people from sexual exploitation. Sexual exploitation is still an issue, but it's not typically an issue with ABDL.

interesting perspective...well said