Do you date?

[BracedDL]

I'm not Incontinent but I'm a DL.
I have never brought it up because the relationship didn't get far. My last one four or five years ago got as far as sleeping together but no sex.
Since then, haven't had much luck with online dating. Conversations seem to die quickly.
I don't get out much because I'm an introvert.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

I used to, but not at the moment, as I'm trying to improve my self-confidence, which isn't great, due to my condition.
When you're in chronic pain 24/7 and your body, brain or bladder can give way at any moment out of fatigue, it's hard to believe in yourself.
I live with other disabilities as well as incontinence, so that complicates things further.
But I'm more confident then I used to be, as I've remembered that I'm more than just a jumble of damaged nerves or bunch of health issues.
As I'm incontinent, my diaper should be my best friend on a date, rather than my worst enemy.
This is what I've been telling myself, anyway.
So give it time and I'll try again.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[2012Stroke]

Thank God NO. Happily married since 2014, and have no desire to date again, ever. Unless you count the married person “dates” like goin* to the movies or going to a nice restaurant. But no pressure in those “dates”. As she knows that I am incontinent and in fact the one who encouraged me to start wearing diapers, there are no surprises or complications.

 

[Minih]

Not any more - but that's because I'm married. Occasionally the incontinence / diarrhoea was an issue with girls, and one was fine with the diarrhoea, but felt I should sit on the toilet all day instead of using nappies to be able to get on and enjoy life - she seemed to regard it more as extended food poisoning rather than a long term condition, which didn't really work for me.

Fortunately, I'm able to block myself up to a fair extent with immodium, and though that doesn't work as anything but a short term strategy, when I was in the early stages of dating it reduced the need for nappies on a date and gave me a bit more time to ease them into it. These days my bowels are far worse, and I suspect I'd have to have the conversation earlier. I think it helped that I was always clear that I didn't expect any care from anyone I was in relationship with - I think for some people that removes the "ick" factor if they don't think they're going to be called on to change a dirty nappy.

As an aside, I occasionally see people on here (not so much on the IC side) who suggest wearing a nappy at night in bed with a new partner without telling them about it first. During one night early in my relationship with my wife (prior to telling her about my incontinence), I woke up with diarrhoea - and fortunately just made it to the loo in time. I had a pretty uncomfortable and fairly sleepness night and gave serious consideration to just putting a nappy on so that I could relax and get some sleep, but held out as I was worried about her reaction. I later mentioned this to her, and she said she'd have been pretty freaked out if she'd woken up to find me wearing a nappy and would have probably ended the relationship because she'd have seen it as a lack of trust.

 

[jdlake131]

Not really. I do for a few dates but I like my privacy. When I did date I had developed a couple relationships. One was a girl who found out that I wore diapers. Pretty rough. Another knew I was incontinent when I was younger. That was just after college. We dated for a couple of years until she moved to New York City. Sometimes I feel lonely but I do have a few friends. Some of them encouraged me to go out more. I do sometimes.

 

[BabyGirlMara]

I date. my boyfriend is in the military though.. he's gone around 4-6 months a year....

 

[CptKirk]

I am actually trying to find the right "one" these days, but so far I've met one who just bored the hell out of me and I found a literal gold digger! I pick her up at her house and the first words out of her mouth were to ask me why I drive a 20 year old SUV! I asked her to get out and she looked puzzled...until I got out, opened her door and told her to have a nice life! There were "hints" of this in our discussions, but I was instantly turned off. I escorted her to her door, told her to have a nice life and left.

I do indeed hope to find someone I get along with. Yeah, my Tahoe is 20 yrs old but is in EXCELLENT mechanical and physical condition, inside and out! I could understand if it was a rusted old piece of shit, but I go over the body every other year, keeping it in good to great condition and as a lifelong professional mechanic, yeah, it's in PERFECT shape. I simply love this and have no desire to spend 15-20k on something that will never be in excellent condition until i pour another 2-3k into it, not counting the stereo. ALL of my vehicles have top of the line, multiple amplifier stereos. I can't live without loud, no added distortion rock! I LOVE my stereos! Good thing I am NOT in a rush...I've suffered for YEARS staying in a dead marriage and she thinks she's a "queen"....better than everyone else, driven by money (despite the fact she has NONE!) and a total Narcissist. I can't be with anyone who has even one of those traits. I've paid my dues in these areas in life!

So far I've been coming up empty in the Wilkes-Barre area.

CptKirk

 

[PaddedPonyboy]

I do, however I will say that I was pretty lucky that my most recent ex was a DL- I did not know this before I met him, he surprised me with it, and it helped me become comfortable with my ABDL side and also not feel ashamed of my incontinence. I was able to wear diapers around him without him batting an eyelash or asking questions, he also understood if i HAD to go. I have gotten back into dating after he and I separated and so far I have a girl I'm seeing, she doesn't know about my incontinence or my ABDL side, but she does struggle with disabilities, herself, and is very kink positive, so I feel like she will be okay with me needing to use diapers one way or another

It tends to not occur to me before I get into a relationship with someone, usually I find that we're already well into dating one another before I realize I need to tell them that. The way I see it is it's a disability of mine, just like any other- I have a degenerating spine, I don't usually find the need to tell people I have agonizing crippling back pain flare ups, that's something that I figure will be tackled when the need arises. I feel like needing adult medical devices for incontinence is the same way! It's something you need, it shouldn't be a barrier to getting into a relationship.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I am married and haven't dated for many years. When I was in my 20s and met my first serious girlfriend I was amazed to find she was a bedwetter. I seem to attract them. My wife was a chronic nightly wetter growing up but was dry from her mid teens. Two other women I have been intimate with were also former bedwetters.

 

[Broekplassen80islekker]

No I don t date.
i have Autisme , Incontinence , trauma
It is oke.

 

[Diaperman95]

I am actually trying to find the right "one" these days, but so far I've met one who just bored the hell out of me and I found a literal gold digger! I pick her up at her house and the first words out of her mouth were to ask me why I drive a 20 year old SUV! I asked her to get out and she looked puzzled...until I got out, opened her door and told her to have a nice life! There were "hints" of this in our discussions, but I was instantly turned off. I escorted her to her door, told her to have a nice life and left.

I do indeed hope to find someone I get along with. Yeah, my Tahoe is 20 yrs old but is in EXCELLENT mechanical and physical condition, inside and out! I could understand if it was a rusted old piece of shit, but I go over the body every other year, keeping it in good to great condition and as a lifelong professional mechanic, yeah, it's in PERFECT shape. I simply love this and have no desire to spend 15-20k on something that will never be in excellent condition until i pour another 2-3k into it, not counting the stereo. ALL of my vehicles have top of the line, multiple amplifier stereos. I can't live without loud, no added distortion rock! I LOVE my stereos! Good thing I am NOT in a rush...I've suffered for YEARS staying in a dead marriage and she thinks she's a "queen"....better than everyone else, driven by money (despite the fact she has NONE!) and a total Narcissist. I can't be with anyone who has even one of those traits. I've paid my dues in these areas in life!

So far I've been coming up empty in the Wilkes-Barre area.

CptKirk

You can find better, You just got to live life and not look so hard. I know when you get up in age that window to find someone and get stuff done closes in a bit faster. When mom died dad drove me nuts because he was lonely. He finally after a few years decided to get back out there. He tried Bars, the churches, casino's and local dinner at first. Big surprise they all sucked and had some type of issue. Then he was at a funeral for a classmate whom rolled a bulldozer and had no belt on. (like one of the dumbest things you ca do) He got tossed out and the roll bar crushed his pelvis. He laid for hours pinned and died a horrible death they said. I have ran a lot of heavy equipmentand even owned a 580 case extendahoe once an that is a huge No,no, those cages are all made to hold the machie up if you just stay in the seat. Dad had not seen him in years until after mom died and then out of boredom went to a class reunion. But anyway back to the point.. When duded died he went to his funeral and he met up with someone that was in his 8th grade class that was there too. They got a talking and her husband had passed about 4 to 6 months earlier. A week later they was engaged. Neither wanted to live alone and they just made a good couple. Total 180 from mom though. She is dingy as a 2 dollar bill but I really love his new wife. He was done looking and then things just worked out.

 

[Joeysms]

dating and relationships are not easy areas to navigate even in the best of circumstances. being incontinent and needing diapers adds a challenging aspect to it. i am lucky i met my life partner i am very blessed. she has become many things to me and has made life very interesting. i can't say it has been boring (LOL). i would say don't give up and maybe look at dating as an adventure and journey into meeting new people. i didn't have much experience dating prior to my wife. honestly being in diapers doesn't quite but one at the top of the dating pool list. the best anyone can do is show people what an amazing person you are, and that a wonderful opportunity could be found if you are given the chance to show him or her. i have always been open about being in diapers whether it has been just hanging out as friends or considering something more serious. there had been mis steps along the way for sure, but for me it was not so much being in diapers i can be a lot to handle for anyone. i only had two serious relationship one sadly she pasted away very young due to cancer and the other i am currently embracing as my life partner (partner in crime). i wouldn't change much about my past experiences because those brought me to where i am now. the scariest part of dating for everyone is that fear of being rejected and hurt especially over something very personal as being incontinent because that can hit you hard. and lets be honest getting hurt will happen it is part of life. just don't let it stop you and no matter what happens always always hold your head up high. you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about needing diapers. it is just your form of underwear a little different than most people but still just your underwear. be your best self when possible but also don't avoid letting the other person see you at your worst and if that means a diaper change so be it so they can the true you. honesty is important especially with a person you view as a possible serious relationship. communication is key (try not to be afraid to talk about this topic). what helped me is keeping an open mind to endless possibilities. it is all about what you want but also what you have to offer someone else. drop any fantasy of what you think is your prefect mate because an amazing person could be right before you and it is you not willing to give them a try. best of luck

 

[greatlake5]

Surprisingly I wasn't dating anyone. Hadn't dated anyone for years. Mainly because I'm IC and at the time, I wasn't comfortable with anyone who would know that I'm actually diaper dependent. For years I lived solo. Then I had a good friend who started asking question about IC. I played dumb. She told me I was cute. Excuse me? "Yeah, I think you're cute." I've known her for 5+ years and out of the blue, she said "yeah. I've always thought you were handsome." I just laughed and smiled. And she continued to question me. The long-short story, she finally asked me if I was wearing a diaper. I finally had to admit that, yes, I was. Apparently she had suspected for quite a while. As it turns out, being incontinent never pothered her. She went from being a close friend to my now partner. So for dating, you never know.

 

[Neroforte]

Do you date? And how do you handle with a new girlfriend or boyfriend?

I've only had 2 girlfriends since I become incontinent. The first one was actually my nurse at intensive care unit after I had the stroke. We started getting together a few months after rehab. So she knew I was wearing diapers. It was easier. She did change me but I didn't let a regular thing happen. To be honest, I was and still kind of embarrassed. And she used to tease me when she used to feel the bottom of my diapers. She'd giggle and I'd get angry. But we had fun. She had a friend who was also an intensive care nurse and they both decided they wanted to do some travel nursing. They spent 6 months in Arizona and then went to Hawaii. I still text and email to her.

After she left, I met another girl almost a year later. We never lived together and eventually she just couldn't really handle the diapers. Yeah, bummer.

So here I am. Still struggling for accepting the fact that I'm incontinent. So I wonder...do you date? How complications make it difficult for you?

Well got a girlfriend who been becoming Dl with the time, but yeah no relationship are perfect and myself been very clear I'm incomtinent not fun I wear diapers you take me the way I'm or you just go and be confident with yourself woman who don't accept you the way you are don't love you .

 

[Zeke]

I am actually trying to find the right "one" these days, but so far I've met one who just bored the hell out of me and I found a literal gold digger! I pick her up at her house and the first words out of her mouth were to ask me why I drive a 20 year old SUV! I asked her to get out and she looked puzzled...until I got out, opened her door and told her to have a nice life! There were "hints" of this in our discussions, but I was instantly turned off. I escorted her to her door, told her to have a nice life and left.

I do indeed hope to find someone I get along with. Yeah, my Tahoe is 20 yrs old but is in EXCELLENT mechanical and physical condition, inside and out! I could understand if it was a rusted old piece of shit, but I go over the body every other year, keeping it in good to great condition and as a lifelong professional mechanic, yeah, it's in PERFECT shape. I simply love this and have no desire to spend 15-20k on something that will never be in excellent condition until i pour another 2-3k into it, not counting the stereo. ALL of my vehicles have top of the line, multiple amplifier stereos. I can't live without loud, no added distortion rock! I LOVE my stereos! Good thing I am NOT in a rush...I've suffered for YEARS staying in a dead marriage and she thinks she's a "queen"....better than everyone else, driven by money (despite the fact she has NONE!) and a total Narcissist. I can't be with anyone who has even one of those traits. I've paid my dues in these areas in life!

So far I've been coming up empty in the Wilkes-Barre area.

CptKirk

In September of 2022 I decided to put $12k in my 2000 Silverado 1500 4x4. It only had around 63k miles on it, it was the last new 4x4 that my dad had bought, and it had everything and does everything that I want or need it to do. I put a rebuilt transfer case in it to prevent the problem with it having holes worn in the back cover by the oil pump as a preventative measure to fix a problem that they’re known to develop. I found an excellent body shop that specializes in repairing rust and had them replace the inner and outer rocker panels, rear cab mounts, and cab corner. The rusted 8’ box was replaced with a a clean “takeoff” box from California and the shop pressure washed the frame and prepped it for rust treatment and paint. It was sprayed with bed liner inside and on the underside of the box and the whole truck was repainted in its original factory colors. So I ended up with a truck that looks like the day it was driven off the dealer’s lot by my dad and if any woman, that I might have the privilege of dating, says anything like that woman said about your Tahoe she’ll be asked to find someone who’s driving a vehicle she considers acceptable for her future dates. Dad bought the first 4x4 pickup that our small town Chevy dealer ever sold in ‘67. After that he traded about every 4 years. That ‘68 model that we got in the Fall of ‘67 had a 307 V8, 3 speed manual transmission, custom cab, wood pickup box floor, 4x4, and lockout hubs making it pretty bare bones and ever successive truck got fancier. My Silverado has so many options as standard equipment, options that weren’t even available in you dreams with the first pickup we got, that I have no desire for anything additional.