Diaper wetting next to wife (my most legit ABDL experience so far)

[diaperjsabdl]

So the other night I wore a diaper to bed. She has accepted that I need diapers for emotional reasons at this point and understands its just apart of who I am. She doesn't wear diapers herself, and doesn't quite understand the desire to wear diapers, but she is okay with it. That being said...I still try to hide it sometimes because its embarrassing...

I ended up having to go, so I wet my diaper and ended up soaking it. Little did I realize, It would end up leaking partly into the bed.

While Im in a wet diaper and a sheet with wet spots on it... I'm contemplating how to tell her. About 5-10 minutes into this i realize i probably cant hide the fact that I had an accident so i just told her. (She wasnt quite asleep yet).

She was pretty understanding about it even seeing me in a wet diaper. She removed the sheet and put a new one on, and asked if there was anything else she could do for me. I responded in shyness with a beat red face "No...Thank you."

To those of you who are married or in a relationship with an SO that knows: At what point did your spouse go from tolerated to acceptance? And possibly from acceptance to participation?

Thank you

 

[Reward]

I'm not sure if this was clear to you but from your description but I'm thinking she was asking if you wanted help changing your leaking diaper right?
Putting on new sheets after bedtime is a pain, I hope you tried to help her with the sheet.
Maybe get a large washable bed pad for your side so it won't happen again.
You didn't say but I'm assuming you changed yourself and hopped back into bed.

Your wife is probly thinking 'what am I in for here with this guy?' and.. to her credit is wondering how much help you want.
In my experience a caring partner will jump in to help if you indicate you need or maybe even want that, just don't overwhelm them with fantasy

 

[oreobaby89]

So it took about 7 before my wife would tolerate it at all. This was after me trying to "move past" my ABDL side and finally telling I couldn't fight it anymore. After that she tolerated it for maybe a year before we started to move more into the acceptance phase and from there close to year before we moved into a participation phase. That was all done through a lot of communication on both of our parts. I had her read "Coffee with Rosie" and we read together "There is still a baby in my Bed" by Rosalie Bent to help her get into more of a participation stage. I just finished reading "Tender Caring Fun" but Sam McCue and gave it to her to read so it will help prompt more discussion. I also credit a lot of Prayer and the Grace of Jesus Christ working in her to help her change and accept this all.

With all that being said it is important to remember that this is not a linear progression. My wife still goes through stages where she merely tolerates my ABDL, then is more accepting, and then will participate. She has moods, emotions, and thoughts she haves to work through too and so she sometimes pulls back base on what is going on. The key is communicating and respect for each other and wanting to work through it together so it is something strengthens and binds your relationship together and not tear it apart or hinder it.

 

[ABDLENG]

Biggest key is communication. I was quite lucky that my wife found out she was very accepting straight away and even wore a few times for me. Through discussion we worked out that actually I prefer to wear as a DL rather than the Care Giver role I thought I was into. Now quite often she will play with me through the diaper. The other week we had a little hotel stay for the night and she told me I would be wearing all weekend.

She hasn’t ever changed me but we often talk about it during sex. The other day she referred to my boxers as my big boy underwear. It’s been nearly 9 months since she found out and has been nothing short of fantastic and understanding.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

This is a question that has interested me for decades. I've had 2 partnerships, both plagued with insecurities and fears, and neither having the closeness and trust where I felt safe to share something as off the beaten path as being (at the time) a DL. Weirdly, it doesn't seem to matter anymore, as they are both out of my life, and I'm no longer a DL, though I still use diapers, and the dear woman who will most likely be my next partner is not only someone I already trust completely, but someone who wears diapers herself, making all of this a moot point in my life. Nonetheless, I'm interested in the experiences others have had, so will be monitoring this thread with great interest.

 

[Kayleigh]

I can relate to incremental steps in wearing causing embarassment. In your case you were already over the initial diaper wearing, even to the point of you wearing to bed with her. But the wetting brought it to a new level which kind of starts the acceptance cycle again. I don’t think you need to be embarrassed, however. Her helping to change the sheets is, in my opinion, a sign that you successfully crossed to the next level in her acceptance.
How much further you take it will depend on how far you want to go and how far she will go on acceptance. You may not want to be submissive to her actually changing your wet diaper based on your embarrassment in wetting and leaking. And that is perfectly ok. And of course she may not want to go that far. Diapers in a relationship are challenging to both parties and to be successful it is a step by step trial and error of finding the right level that each of you can accept.
I’ll add that my wife and I live separately, partially but not totally due to my diapers. She comes back on most weekends and before she arrives I hide all my diapers and plastic panties for fear of embarassment. And she has mentioned coming back full time which will bring up my issues with embarassment and acceptance.

 

[Diaperman95]

Why do you guys say you had an accident if you are not incontinent and wear for emotional reasons? Not just you I read post all the time from non incontinent people they then later say I had a accident. If you peed on purpose it is not a accident. I am not judging your trying to be mean it just bothers me to hear people say they wear for fun or out of desire but then claim they had a accident.

I am glad your wife is understanding. Most are not and diapers are a big cost to be using for the fun of it. If not for my diapers I would buy a new car. But I do not have a choice. Sorry If I sound hung up on the wording. It sounds like to me to say I had a diaper leak on the bed to be more fitting. Be sure to spoil the shit out of your wife as she deserves it.. I would just ask her if she would ever be willing to take it further along and change you or even wear herself. Or during sex. My wife yells at me if I get out of the shower and walk into the bedroom undiapered. She is like put a diaper on before you piss on my rug. Lol But she has to wear pullups herself. But married 29 years 2 days ago and she has never made me feel bad about having to use diapers. She just recent started having issues.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Why do you guys say you had an accident if you are not incontinent and wear for emotional reasons? Not just you I read post all the time from non incontinent people they then later say I had a accident. If you peed on purpose it is not a accident. I am not judging your trying to be mean it just bothers me to hear people say they wear for fun or out of desire but then claim they had a accident.

I am glad your wife is understanding. Most are not and diapers are a big cost to be using for the fun of it. If not for my diapers I would buy a new car. But I do not have a choice. Sorry If I sound hung up on the wording. It sounds like to me to say I had a diaper leak on the bed to be more fitting. Be sure to spoil the shit out of your wife as she deserves it.. I would just ask her if she would ever be willing to take it further along and change you or even wear herself. Or during sex. My wife yells at me if I get out of the shower and walk into the bedroom undiapered. She is like put a diaper on before you piss on my rug. Lol But she has to wear pullups herself. But married 29 years 2 days ago and she has never made me feel bad about having to use diapers. She just recent started having issues.

I think the word accident was used to refer not to wetting, but leaking. Leaking is an accident, even where wetting is not. Your advice is sound, and your anecdote about the rug made me laugh. Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad you have a great wife and appreciate her.

 

[Kayleigh]

I agree about the use of “accident”. It is more the leaking that is the issue. And I read about some individuals who seem to enjoy the leaking, perhaps in some cases because of the humiliation. To each their own I guess.

 

[60something]

So it took about 7 before my wife would tolerate it at all. This was after me trying to "move past" my ABDL side and finally telling I couldn't fight it anymore. After that she tolerated it for maybe a year before we started to move more into the acceptance phase and from there close to year before we moved into a participation phase. That was all done through a lot of communication on both of our parts. I had her read "Coffee with Rosie" and we read together "There is still a baby in my Bed" by Rosalie Bent to help her get into more of a participation stage. I just finished reading "Tender Caring Fun" but Sam McCue and gave it to her to read so it will help prompt more discussion. I also credit a lot of Prayer and the Grace of Jesus Christ working in her to help her change and accept this all.

With all that being said it is important to remember that this is not a linear progression. My wife still goes through stages where she merely tolerates my ABDL, then is more accepting, and then will participate. She has moods, emotions, and thoughts she haves to work through too and so she sometimes pulls back base on what is going on. The key is communicating and respect for each other and wanting to work through it together so it is something strengthens and binds your relationship together and not tear it apart or hinder it.

Oreobaby, I loved you post. Thoughtful and honest. I too am in a decades old ABDL relationship. As I look back I allowed it to go far. I suspect I'm obsessive compulsive. Never diagnosed.
As another posted said, I went down the rabbit hole. I let my ABDL take over my life. It felt so good living my abdL life that I wanted it to get ever better. More diapers, more plastic pants, more outfits. On and on and on.
I forgot there's another person involved. My wife enabled me by caring and worrying about me. I was blinded and never considered that I carried my baby desires possibly too far. I'm happy for you that you can finally open up and calm the beast that I think ABDL is. I call it a beast because for me it never is happy. It always wants more and more. Enjoy your wonderful ABDL experiences. But first and foremost be mindful it can take over everything.
Be very open to your wife. She loves you. Try to be honest with how she feels about your desires. A happy wife is a happy life. Indulge her in things that matter to her. If she's a good caring person she'll desire to indulge you in return. A win for both sides. Be happy for what she has the strength to give you but be careful to not ask for too much.

 

[DLfuunseeker]

My wife is very understanding. She never makes a big deal about them even if they leak. We go about life

 

[diaperjsabdl]

I'm not sure if this was clear to you but from your description but I'm thinking she was asking if you wanted help changing your leaking diaper right?
Putting on new sheets after bedtime is a pain, I hope you tried to help her with the sheet.
Maybe get a large washable bed pad for your side so it won't happen again.
You didn't say but I'm assuming you changed yourself and hopped back into bed.

Your wife is probly thinking 'what am I in for here with this guy?' and.. to her credit is wondering how much help you want.
In my experience a caring partner will jump in to help if you indicate you need or maybe even want that, just don't overwhelm them with fantasy

You're pretty much correct on all of that. I didn't really want to overwhelm her with the idea of changing me. I might talk to her about that before I take any bigger steps. If she's iffy I don't want to push her.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I agree about the use of “accident”. It is more the leaking that is the issue. And I read about some individuals who seem to enjoy the leaking, perhaps in some cases because of the humiliation. To each their own I guess.

I've heard of leak humiliation being enjoyed by some, too, but most don't, and to them it is an accident.

 

[ada517]

I'm not sure if this was clear to you but from your description but I'm thinking she was asking if you wanted help changing your leaking diaper right?
Putting on new sheets after bedtime is a pain, I hope you tried to help her with the sheet.
Maybe get a large washable bed pad for your side so it won't happen again.
You didn't say but I'm assuming you changed yourself and hopped back into bed.

Your wife is probly thinking 'what am I in for here with this guy?' and.. to her credit is wondering how much help you want.
In my experience a caring partner will jump in to help if you indicate you need or maybe even want that, just don't overwhelm them with fantasy

Took my wife a few months to get used to the idea. Just approached it slowly and she eventually came around.

 

[Diaperman95]

I agree about the use of “accident”. It is more the leaking that is the issue. And I read about some individuals who seem to enjoy the leaking, perhaps in some cases because of the humiliation. To each their own I guess.

yeah I could do with never another leak. But to be honest 95% of the time it is just me trying to ring every red cent out of my diaper before changing that causes them. But that said all diapers leak none are perfect

 

[Diaperman95]

My wife is very understanding. She never makes a big deal about them even if they leak. We go about life

You got a good one.

 

[LittleTyke]

My current GF accepted my kink from day one, as she knew about it before we even met. She doesn't participate actively all the time, but did participate the first time very soon after our first IRL meeting.

It took much, much longer for me to fully understand that she accepts my kink. For a long time, when I walked into the living room in the morning, wearing a wet diaper and AB sleepwear, I asked myself "Is she really okay with this?" As it turns out, she really is.

 

[iDiapered]

I totally get you, it can be pretty intimidating to wear and pee your diaper in front of your non-abdl girlfriend. Congrats if she accepts and asks you if you need any help.

Even if my girlfriend accepted it fast, and put me into new diapers, I knew it was never her intentions to change them. It took me a long time to be brave enough to pee my diaper while she was in front of me.

I never had the courage to do #2 while she was home until one day we were eating and she notice I wasn't eating much, she asked me what was the problem and I told her I was full and needed to go to the bathroom, she just replied I had a diaper on. At this moment I knew she didn't care. Now, I like it when she hints me that I am wearing a diaper and to use it.

 

[dogboy]

My wife accepted it right away. I did take her a while to use the word diaper and to accept the AB side, but over time, she became quite comfortable with it. I often went to bed diapered lying next to her.

 

[jimj64811]

I introduced my diapers as something I need to manage my incontinence. First there were pads, now there are diapers and PUL pants which I use to cover my diapers. My wife is supportive, empathizes, but so far has not taken an active role. I am at the point where I shared with her that I am struggling with preparing for an upcoming event, where I don’t want to change in port-a-potties or catheterized in them. She’s not offering suggestions but asked questions.

I can tell that he is not easy for her. Seeing your husband go from healthy to not isn’t easy on anyone. But I appreciate her for the support she’s been giving me.