Dating with incontinence

[DLfuunseeker]

Being that I don’t post a whole lot here, most here probably don’t know my history. Let me summarize…
I’ve been incontinent all of my life due to what was eventually diagnosed as birth defects, and now added effects of MS. My childhood was anything but happy as I was harassed and shunned by most. I was physically and emotionally punished regularly by my mother for my inability to control my bladder up until my early teens, when the diagnosis was made. To say I was reclusive and withdrawn is an understatement up until I was awarded a full scholarship to a university well away from home and all that knew me.
Once established in my new life there, I dated several guys but kept my incontinence very private. Eventually, I met the man that would later become my husband in a church singles group. We dated for a year or longer and once I realized that we were developing a serious relationship, I shared my health issues and childhood history, pleaded with him to maintain my privacy. If anything, my sharing with him drew us so much closer. Eventually, we transitioned into an intimate relationship and learned how to deal with my incontinence while being intimate.
My relationship with this man drew me out of my shell and tore down all walls that I had built to the point where I was the happiest that I’ve ever been. After we graduated college, we soon married and started a business together and eventually a family.
i firmly believe that there’s the right life mate out there for everyone. Faith and a positive outlook are -very- important. If your walls that protect you are too high and too strong, possibilities are severely limited! Don’t allow incontinence to affect your happiness!

You are very lucky, I am happy for you

 

[Tenaman]

Being that I don’t post a whole lot here, most here probably don’t know my history. Let me summarize…
I’ve been incontinent all of my life due to what was eventually diagnosed as birth defects, and now added effects of MS. My childhood was anything but happy as I was harassed and shunned by most. I was physically and emotionally punished regularly by my mother for my inability to control my bladder up until my early teens, when the diagnosis was made. To say I was reclusive and withdrawn is an understatement up until I was awarded a full scholarship to a university well away from home and all that knew me.
Once established in my new life there, I dated several guys but kept my incontinence very private. Eventually, I met the man that would later become my husband in a church singles group. We dated for a year or longer and once I realized that we were developing a serious relationship, I shared my health issues and childhood history, pleaded with him to maintain my privacy. If anything, my sharing with him drew us so much closer. Eventually, we transitioned into an intimate relationship and learned how to deal with my incontinence while being intimate.
My relationship with this man drew me out of my shell and tore down all walls that I had built to the point where I was the happiest that I’ve ever been. After we graduated college, we soon married and started a business together and eventually a family.
i firmly believe that there’s the right life mate out there for everyone. Faith and a positive outlook are -very- important. If your walls that protect you are too high and too strong, possibilities are severely limited! Don’t allow incontinence to affect your happiness!

I am so glad you found someone who accepted and supports you with your health issues. So did I and we have been married for 30 years. How lucky we are. I hope others are too. It was a very lonely place to start with until I learned to manage it better and just get on with life.

 

[CrossfireHurricane]

I rarely date. Mostly because I'm IC. I never really dated someone during high school. The other was when I was in university and connected this one girl at a bar. We ended having sex. She was drunk and really horny. We actually had sex (I was a virgin). The next morning she saw my diaper and completely freaked out. That was the end of that.

I do have a group of "friendly friends." Some of them are teachers (like me). One night this friend asked if I wanted to go at the CSO (Chicago Symphony Orchestra). So I went. I was wearing my usual diaper but I added a better booster, plastic pants with my compression shorts under my clothes. I thought she's never know or even suspect. She didn't say anything. We had dinner after the performance. Everything went really great.
A few days later I called her on the phone. I finally admitted that I had a medical issue. Then I simply said I'm incontinent. And yes, I wear diapers. She wasn't shocked but she did have a few questions. I tried to be clear without saying too much. She did ask how I managed to not change my diaper for that night (It was a long drive to Chicago and back). Now she knows how it worked.

Now we have had a couple of dates. Nothing but some kissing but it might end up being more intimate. She hasn't rejected me (yet?). I'm keeping my options open. And I'm trying to be positive.

Before these dates, I never considered dating someone. I have plenty of friends and family so I wasn't isolated. I would suggest to connect with people that might have the same interests. I don't really like bars but sometimes music is a great way to meet people. Or maybe join a coed sport team and perhaps hiking or biking. Also, you can work with others for charity or other causes. Never stop meeting new people. You never know when someone shows an interest.