Being incontinent when you're ABDL

[Sterling]

I'm not incontinent - yet.
It's not something that I'm attempting to do by any means, but it's apparently fairly common in AFAB folks.
And I'm starting to run into some legitimate trouble from time to time. I'm only in my early 30's and already have "I just barely made it and still missed some" on a weekly basis. There's many times where my body doesn't tell me that I have to go until I'm ready to burst, every 1-2 days.

There was a while where I ended up having full on accidents at work fairly regularly. (For some reason, going into the big deep freezer seemed to be a trigger? Took me a while to figure that one out and to be honest, and I still don't get it lol) It was almost once a week at one point, and it was the "go home and get changed" kind of accident. Thankfully, I worked overnight with hardly anyone else in the store. I had also accidentally purchased incontinence pads instead of period pads the last time I needed some, so I started wearing those after the second time it happened lol
At the time, I was married to someone who I would NEVER tell my secret to. I don't think I ever told him about the incontinence issues from the sheer embarrassment and slight judgement I'd get from it.

I work from home now and make my own schedule, so it's far less likely to happen than back then, but some periods of time are worse than others.
(For years there have been times where I feel like I constantly need to go and a shower would help. I realize now that it's because it's no big deal if I pee in the shower and it helps put my mind at ease. Diapers/incontinence pads have helped alleviate that problem like I never imagined! It's still really embarrassing for me, but the sheer amount of relief where I stop worrying about it and just.... Get on with my life is usually enough to get my bladder to empty completely.)

So yeah, I guess the AB came first and then I started having issues a few years down the line when I hadn't had more than a precursory opportunity to explore that side of me. The ABDL and IC are still really separate in my mind because one is for relaxing/stress relief/fun and the other is the complete opposite of that lmao

Also, I truly apologize if this is TMI or if it seems like I'm making light of a medical condition that I do not have/have not been diagnosed with. While my experience is currently extremely manageable without adaptive equipment (aside from the extra laundry,) I don't think that this will always be the case.
This is also the first time I've ever been able to talk openly about the problems that I do have and I appreciate that opportunity greatly.

 

[Sterling]

I'm not incontinent - yet.
It's not something that I'm attempting to do by any means, but it's apparently fairly common in AFAB folks.
And I'm starting to run into some legitimate trouble from time to time. I'm only in my early 30's and already have "I just barely made it and still missed some" on a weekly basis. There's many times where my body doesn't tell me that I have to go until I'm ready to burst, every 1-2 days.

There was a while where I ended up having full on accidents at work fairly regularly. (For some reason, going into the big deep freezer seemed to be a trigger? Took me a while to figure that one out and to be honest, and I still don't get it lol) It was almost once a week at one point, and it was the "go home and get changed" kind of accident. Thankfully, I worked overnight with hardly anyone else in the store. I had also accidentally purchased incontinence pads instead of period pads the last time I needed some, so I started wearing those after the second time it happened lol
At the time, I was married to someone who I would NEVER tell my secret to. I don't think I ever told him about the incontinence issues from the sheer embarrassment and slight judgement I'd get from it.

I work from home now and make my own schedule, so it's far less likely to happen than back then, but some periods of time are worse than others.
(For years there have been times where I feel like I constantly need to go and a shower would help. I realize now that it's because it's no big deal if I pee in the shower and it helps put my mind at ease. Diapers/incontinence pads have helped alleviate that problem like I never imagined! It's still really embarrassing for me, but the sheer amount of relief where I stop worrying about it and just.... Get on with my life is usually enough to get my bladder to empty completely.)

So yeah, I guess the AB came first and then I started having issues a few years down the line when I hadn't had more than a precursory opportunity to explore that side of me. The ABDL and IC are still really separate in my mind because one is for relaxing/stress relief/fun and the other is the complete opposite of that lmao

Also, I truly apologize if this is TMI or if it seems like I'm making light of a medical condition that I do not have/have not been diagnosed with. While my experience is currently extremely manageable without adaptive equipment (aside from the extra laundry,) I don't think that this will always be the case.
This is also the first time I've ever been able to talk openly about the problems that I do have and I appreciate that opportunity greatly.

So uhh...I can't seem to edit this post any more but umm
Reading some other threads on this forum has made me realize that I've been in some kind of denial by downplaying this for as long as I have. I'll be bringing it up to a doctor soon.

 

[mirrored22]

Whether I was a DL first or had bladder issues first is still up for debate in my mind. I didn't really have a diagnosis for my bladder dysfunction until last year but after my diagnosis, I was told these problems have likely been present since I was a kid. What drew me to diapers in the first place was the relief they offered for urinary frequency and the ability it gave me to be able to go without getting yelled at for needing to. Its a chicken and egg scenario. I do know that being a DL has caused me to be a lot more hesitant to view my problems as "real" despite being aware of how "abnormal" my habits were since my early 20's. I was hesitant to get treatment for it or manage it out of guilt related to the DL feelings I had.

This is likely just my unique version of crazy, but I was stuck with this dumb idea in my head that I had to "handle this the right way" and "stop projecting my kink onto my body" or "making light of others medical issues" for a very long time. I convinced myself that any issues present were either all in my head, manifested from the DL desire, or a result of mismanagement (poor diet, lack of exercise, smoking, weight, etc.) I believed that I wasn't worthy of care because I wasn't doing everything I could to mitigate it and just wanted an "excuse to indulge in my fetish." Any time symptoms would manifest, I'd beat myself up for even having the problems to begin with. Trauma also played a big role in those feelings too. This is part of why getting that diagnosis last year was such a huge lift off of my shoulders. I still struggle with these feelings pretty often, but I have much more solid information I can use to fight back against it now.

I've viewed other incontinence and overactive bladder communities and I've seen so many people that struggle with conditions like this also have a huge emotional burden as a result. They deal with things like anxiety, depression and low self-esteem, fighting with feelings of being defective and worthless, even suicidal ideation. Any way that you can find to make it so that this condition doesn't drive you insane and allows you some relief can't be wrong. But don't let the relief you get stop you from seeking medical attention. Incontinence is a symptom of a larger condition so you have to figure out why you have these problems to avoid much worse problems down the road. You have to be honest about what's going on and advocate for yourself. I feel like if my parents had done that instead of punishing me for needing to go, maybe all of this drama could've been avoided.

 

[BABYTIGERCUB]

Urinary incontinence its very expensive if you don't have some form of medicade that has some form of coverage for adult diapers it can bust many budgets if you can't find other ways or other things to cut out of budgets to allow for incontinence needs it's a struggle especially for people on a fixed income, I knew I was Abdl when I was a child but never acted on it then several years later from a car accident over 20 years ago did disk damage in both upper and lower spine are now interfering with the nerves to the bladder and is getting worse, I started out with ic pads and after a few years later had to transition into adult diapers, and the ABDL side helps me cope with being urinary incontinent and hopefully not going into fecal incontinence which can occur with spinal issues.

 

[Demonbabywearspamps]

I was a age regressor first. Been regressing for a while now since I was 13. Tho around 15 is when my bladder started fuckin up. I wet the bed a lot. I've been bed wetting off and on since I was a kid(7-10yo) and my parents always just gave me towels for my bed and made me take a bath. When it started again when I was 15 I kinda realized this was something I'd have to deal with. Also around this time I found out about abdl. And I thought it'd be fun to wear diapers since I already have a issue with wetting the bed. So I was able to get some and after a year I realized it was going to get worse. Diapers were expensive. My parents were buying for me at the time and we weren't able to get diapers constantly so I still needed towels in my bed. And I was starting to get annoyed. More annoyed and fustrated because I realized I can't control it. It wasn't as fun as I thought it'd be. My bladder slowly got worse along with occasional bowel issues and I was only 17. I wasn't able to afford diapers and the Walmart pull ups were not cutting it anymore. Now that i'm 20 wetting myself is sadly just another day for me. I do wear diapers and I try to as often as possible but its ass. I have to change myself and taping up is hard because i'm plus sized and can't see over my chest and stomach. I do have good days where I can make it sometimes but I don't risk it unless i'm low on diapers and had a full "good" day before hand. Idk what my exact issue is. I can barely hold it and it hurts to hold it longer than a minute before my bladder releases itself. As fun as it is to have cute prints and dress in my regression clothes I feel like shit half the time when I wet myself. Keeping towels and bed pads in my room while constantly spraying and airing out my room so it doesn't smell bad sucks. I wish I was just a ab that could control it but I can't.
That's why I don't like seeing people trying to make themselves ic or minors that think it'd be fun to wear diapers. I didn't make myself ic or wish that I could be. I just got dealt a hand that happened to make it feel better to wear. But outside of regression I'd rather not have to cry in a walmart bathroom because I have to clean up another accident in public after my ic pad failed. If I had someone to change me and I had more diapers to wear I'd probably be way better off.

 

[Edgewater]

i am not officially diagnosed as IC but I am 99% sure that i have OAB and will hopefully get dr appointment soon as it is starting to get worse. when i went about 4-5 yrs ago when 14 my paediatrician told me to just put anti-itch cream on my urethra which obviously didn’t help . i think being little does help with being IC because i am not embarrassed at and am fine with the idea of maybe needing to wear nappies in the future if it gets worse, or to help with the already there sleep problems it gives me (have to get up about 5-6 times a night to pee).

You need to see a urologist! Sooner rather than later!!

 

[weemouse]

The question is, what happens if you do not go in time? Like in a traffic jam?
I thought to just have OAB for three years, until i peed myself on the way to the toilet. Sometimes you realize the hard way.
As long as i am close to a toilet, for example at home, my risk of a wet pants is very low.

You need to see a urologist! Sooner rather than later!!

i am planning to go to doctor soon, but right when i asked my mum to set up appointment (since i live with her and have trouble doing things myself) they never got back and now the doctor is on vacation. i went for this same problem when i was 14 (5 yrs ago) and my paediatrician just said to put anti-itch cream on my urethra which obviously didn’t work so hopefully i can get referred to a urologist this time.

seeing what people in the IC board have to say about OAB and how it can progress i am definitely trying but you know the medical system – messed up internationally. luckily i have never had problems with leaking or accidents so far but as i know from others words that can change quickly.

 

[Edgewater]

For those few that are AB and IC; wouldn’t playtime in AB mode while being IC actually give you the most authentic experience?

I’m well aware of the sensitivity of this statement and I’m not even AB myself, it’s just a logical conclusion in this very limited circumstance.

PS: well aware of the anti-ABDL stigma on here and why, due to the the hardships you all experience from IC. But not everyone who is IC is ‘only’ IC and they’re valid too.

The general issue between the groups is the lack of effort of non-IC folks to limit their Posting in the IC Forum regarding clearly AB/DL activities. It is that simple. There is not an anti-AB/DL 'stigma' among the IC members.

 

[Edgewater]

i agree 110%, as my post earlier in this thread says i only have ‘minor’ IC (OAB) but it is still very annoying to deal with, constantly having to interrupt what im doing to go to the bathroom and waking up 5 or 6 times during the night to pee is not fun at all! im not even at the point where i have lost any amount of control over actually going but it really does affect my life.

Waking-up 5-6 times a night to use the toilet is a red flag and you should see a urologist! Commonly the cut-off point is 3 times per night.

 

[DiaperSWAG]

I have always been a DL But growing up i also had daily small accidents and wet the bed 5-7 nights a week which i wore diapers/goodnites for. Once i hit puberty and learned what was going on down there, I did develop a sexual feeling for diapers. I never told anyone or ever tried to force my dl side on to anyone it was my secret. I was 19 when i met wife and after like the 3rd date i decided i should open up to her about my dl side since i could only be with someone that would be accepting of my ic and dl feelings and that i needed diapers at night for bedwetting and certain occasions during the day if i knew i couldnt make it to a bathroom in time. She was accepting of wearing them for my ic issues and just understanding of the dl side but had no interest in it at the time which we both agreed on. As time went on we moved into a house together and i switched to a higher grade medical adult diaper. My wife started to research abdl and discovered things on her own and asked me alot of questions. Long story short i eventually developed an ab side also its not to intense as we only do a few small baby things. But now i am abdl at home most days and have been wearing printed diapers 24/7 for 3 years now and being ic and not even knowing i am wetting my diaper just like a baby does is very exciting to me. I am so happy my wife is understanding and accepting and my abdl side does not interfere with our adult lives or relationship.

 

[Spidermanbatman]

I was an ABDL before I was an adult bedwetter. That didn't come on until my late 20's/early 30's. I was in my last year of law school and under a lot of pressure with that and with some personal issues and I guess it was stress related. It started innocently enough - I fell asleep on my brand new couch and woke up completely drenched (that was a fun conversation to have with the guy I hired to clean my couch, I blamed my dog, but I'm pretty sure they knew). And then it just kept happening anytime I fell asleep for any longer length of time. And it the beginning, and for awhile, it was bad. I mean I could soak through a Megamax with a diaper doubler inside and a pair of plastic pants over it some nights. At the very least, I was filling up those Megamaxes.

And there's always the AB side of me that when I woke up wet that was like "wow...that's cool...I'm wetting just like a little kid." Even the first time I leaked in bed I kind of chuckled and was like "Heh...I really am a preschooler." I'm quite sure that a person who is incontinent or a bedwetter and not AB/DL doesn't think like that. And the reality is always there. When you're wetting every night and you're an adult, you have to plan. How do you handle travel, for example? What about flying on an airplane where you might fall asleep? Business trip sharing a room with a co-worker or your boss? What about if you're with a partner? What if I have people over? How do I make sure they don't see my diapers and other items? How do I make sure people don't see my wet diaper in the morning if we're on vacation together in the same shared space? That sort of thing.

I didn't give two thoughts years ago when I watched my aunt put my then 5 year old cousin into a Huggies Overnight diaper for bed. No big deal, right? She's just a little kid, she needs it because she wets in her sleep. Normal. Very different for an adult. No one expects that. Plus, you have the added costs, that as an adult, you're paying for. And it's not just diapers, potentially. It may be diapers, diaper doublers, plastic pants or a diaper cover, diaper rash cream if like me you have sensitive skin, wipes, etc.

Over the years, my bedwetting has become a lot less frequent and thankfully, a lot less volume! I can generally get by with an XL Goodnite (the new ones are definitely an improvement, btw) with a diaper doubler in it, and just for peace of mind, I'll add a diaper cover. But I can go weeks, even months without wetting, and then have a period where it starts up again for awhile. That can burn you too, because you get into this false sense of security, like "Eh, I don't need to put on a diaper tonight" -and then I wake up in a puddle. That's not fun. It's cold and gross for anyone who thinks they might enjoy that.

And yet to this day, when I wake up and reach down to feel and realize my diaper is full in the morning, I won't lie...it's a thrill and still makes me feel little.

 

[nikthewerelion]

I was definitely a DL, but I guess that’s a whole story in an of itself. I had two things happen to me within a two-year time. Period. Eye surgery, which saved my vision, but greatly reduced my usable vision, now need a white cane, which slows you down a lot. then a year later or so got diagnosed with type two diabetes and I’m keeping my A1c level pretty good but one of the drugs jardiance is causing me wicked OAB. I guess I never realized it was considered legitimate incontinence. Basically I’m in Diapers 24/7 even if I’m in my apartment, the possibility of leaks is still there and the urges can be so surprising trying to hold it even for the minute or so that would take me to get to the bathroom, sometimes just with me watching myself. I have adapted quite well to this new lifestyle, of needing diapers. I was also always a furry. Now I’ve got quite a collection of Diapers, most of which consists of safari and tiny tales. My thinking is hey, if I need to be in Diapers now I may as well like what they look like even if I can’t necessarily see them because they still represent me. and it’s gonna cost me an ass load of money out-of-pocket anyways so I may as well buy the good stuff. But since I am on disability and living on a fixed income when I’m just hanging around the house, it definitely just use the cheap diapers like the ones I get through my , over-the-counter credit from my insurance, currently sitting in a wet plastic packed diaper, which is my third or fourth one of the day and, just wet it like two minutes after I put it on. some of the other meds that I take can cause me to have unexpected bowel accidents, which is also why I’ve realized that I need thinner diapers on hand. mostly this can be caused by the Ozempic. The other downside to one of my drugs, causing overactive bladder is it makes me really thirsty so it’s just a vicious cycle. Which is all the more reason that I need really good quality Diapers. The other adjustments I have made tending Diapers on a regular basis is getting a bunch of onesies and plastic pants that hold my diapers in place. I haven’t yet explained the whole situation of needing diapers to my mom from a legit medical perspective, but I will. I think she will still have some skepticism since she knows I used to like wearing them, but that was like 20 something years ago also and things have changed a lot. it’s not like I was hoping that someday I would need diapers, but I knew it would be a hell of a lot more convenient if that ended up being the case. And that certainly true, especially in my situation, I couldn’t see trying to deal with this without Diapers only to go through the stress and embarrassment that it would cost me until I accepted it. being a DL first definitely made that transition into needing Diapers on a regular basis way more easier.

 

[Auroraboros]

For those few that are AB and IC; wouldn’t playtime in AB mode while being IC actually give you the most authentic experience?

I’m well aware of the sensitivity of this statement and I’m not even AB myself, it’s just a logical conclusion in this very limited circumstance.

PS: well aware of the anti-ABDL stigma on here and why, due to the the hardships you all experience from IC. But not everyone who is IC is ‘only’ IC and they’re valid too.

It's debatable, but I'd be careful glorifying it because beyond the sensitivity thing, people have historically thought this and tried to make themselves incontinent.

 

[Bigbabybret]

So, i dont consider myself ABDL, but i am IC and have been in diapers at night forever, and now daytime for years.

So, my ex tried to get me into ab stuff many times and in many ways, i just have never been able to get into that mindset, hell i dont even play games...

But from the IC side of things, i dont see any issue with someone being IC and ABDL, seems like a good match, my ex wanted to add the AB stuff as already needed to do the diapers anyhow, so might as well have some fun with it.

I do like PJ's, and also stuffies so that is about as far as i go.

But to be ABDL i've got no issues with your choice, and if you become naturally IC or by an accident that is fine, it's just not good to harm onself in my book.

But i dont have an issue with people saying that I'm lucky as im IC, but i do correct them that not having a choice is not lucky at all, its rather the opposite.

Now, i think somone having fun with diapers is great, if it give you some fun and/or peace and/or pleasure, then do it, no judgement over someones choice in what they consider fun. Some people like some rather odd things and as that goes ABDL is rather mild in the whole kink types from my perspective.

But, just dont make yourself IC that isnt good, sure pretend, even use a cath, or whatever, but doing something that cant be undone takes away choice and most people will regret that at some time or another.

 

[Wetshisbed]

All I can say so am urinary incontinent and enuretic and be I g DL really helps me cope. I could be incontinent and miserable but I chose to embrace it, own it and get on with my life wearing nappies.

 

[munkey]

I’ve always all my life been a DL. Growing up I never really wanted to be AB. However I didn’t have little tendencies all my life. I also grew up having faecal urge accidents. At 27 I was diagnosed with IBS, and urge FI. In my 30s I started having more IC issues. Now in my mid 40s, i’m dual IC, diapered 24/7, work less than part time to injury, and feel like a little who’s pretending to be an adult. Like, my mama and I have a LEGO room . Being a little is part of me, being incontinent is part of me, and these parts are balanced which allows me to be my true self. (FTR when out in public I dress like a little stealthy, ie jeans and a cartoon tshirt)

 

[Joeysms]

you have to be you in the end. embracing everything about yourself is taking the road that will bring the most happiness in your live. there is nothing shameful or embarrassing about having a strong ABDL side/personality. regardless of ABDL everyone has to find balance in his or her life. i think the fun part or the true adventure is in the exploring how you find the balance both the mis steps and successes. it goes a long way to dealing with IC when you don't mind or prefer wearing diapers.

 

[SnepperStepper]

I've always had a weak bladder and accepting myself as ABDL has actually made that into something I quite like about myself. Its gotten "worse" the more comfortable I've gotten being ABDL & wearing diapers as regular underwear, but y'know? That's cool. I think its sort of a chicken or the egg type thing, really. One might happen first but when/if the other happens they work together to help you accept this part of who you are.

 

[fredy552]

For those who follow me, you know I have been an AB/DL for some time but back during the Pandemic, I became Incontinent after being in Hospitalized in a COMA. I have had several issues since with my body one of which is being Urinary Incontinent. I have for the last 3 years worn Diapers 24/7 to go in public my wife did not like me wearing she did not understand. So, my whole body has gone through different transitions and recently I went a few days when I thought I was able to control how when, and where I had to Pee. But no, I dribble in my underpants so far, I was able to get to the bathroom before I totally WET my underpants and jeans, etc. I have worn pads during the day that have sort of worked. This morning, I had gotten up wetted the bed, and had to poop also I did make it to the toilet but just. So back in diapers and plastic pants no booster. I am trying to be a big boy. The wife will not like me wearing my diapers and plastic pants again, but it is better than accidents. If sitting, I can sort of control my wetting and hurry to the bathroom and go potty like a big boy. I have found that if I am out and about not wearing at least a pad or a diaper I will wet myself. Does the wife know I really like wearing diapers NO! But I am happier this way.

 

[fredy552]

For those who follow me, you know I have been an AB/DL for some time but back during the Pandemic, I became Incontinent after being in Hospitalized in a COMA. I have had several issues since with my body one of which is being Urinary Incontinent. I have for the last 3 years worn Diapers 24/7 to go in public my wife did not like me wearing she did not understand. So, my whole body has gone through different transitions and recently I went a few days when I thought I was able to control how when, and where I had to Pee. But no, I dribble in my underpants so far, I was able to get to the bathroom before I totally WET my underpants and jeans, etc. I have worn pads during the day that have sort of worked. This morning, I had gotten up wetted the bed, and had to poop also I did make it to the toilet but just. So back in diapers and plastic pants no booster. I am trying to be a big boy. The wife will not like me wearing my diapers and plastic pants again, but it is better than accidents. If sitting, I can sort of control my wetting and hurry to the bathroom and go potty like a big boy. I have found that if I am out and about not wearing at least a pad or a diaper I will wet myself. Does the wife know I really like wearing diapers NO! But I am happier this way.