Ashamed Of Our Little Side?

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You bet I have felt ashamed of wearing diapers for pleasure. I still do. Some days are easier than others though. Sometimes I am all about it and can't get enough. Other times I feel like an absolute loser and a weirdo and then I get depressed. I want to purge my life of my entire collection just so I am not tempted. I have done this before but end up just buying more later. So purging doesn't do anything for me. Its just a waste. I feel abnormal at times. I know "normal" is a broad term and it applies to what the majority of society finds acceptable for social convention. We, at this site, that get pleasure from diapers, fall in the minority so the majority of people wouldn't understand and would consider us abnormal (which is why I don't tell anybody about my secret). I don't hurt anybody from what I do and it sometimes makes me feel more at ease with the stresses of life so I indulge myself with it. But I sometimes wish that I did not have this obsession and could get along with people better than I can with diapers. Actually that obsession can get in the way. When I am out in the world I am more likely to pay attention to anything diaper related (i.e. an advertisement on a tv, packages of diapers in a store, hearing the word diaper be said from someone across the room) than I am to notice a beautiful woman walking down the street. But I need to accept this side as it has been a part of me for so long. The only problem is that it seems like its growing more and more with time. I sometimes wonder and fear what it will be in 10 years.
 
For to be honest I really feel ashamed and depressed.
Even I cry..............
(It's depressing wearing women's products, always discreet underwear at home in the morning instead of my normal underwear).
 
i don't feel ashamed. I need them and I wear them. I rarely get comments.
 
I still struggle with this all the time. My wife fully supports my ABDL side and participates and even comes up with "little" activities for me. But I still feel embarrassed changing my diaper in front of her or even just wearing one openly.
 
I used to.... But not any longer, at least not toward myself. I don't do purging anymore. I have no desire to ever give up any of this. I feel no guilt because I'm not hurting anyone. I wish I had more time for being diapered and such.

I still do not want people to find out though... That can be embarrassing.

So never, in some ways. Yes, in some ways.
 
I have also been through all the emotions that I have just read in this forum. For me though it is about rationalising what it is that draws you towards it, is it a need? Is it sexual? Is it just something that offers comfort? I appreciate it is completely different for those who need so I cannot comment on that side. What I realised was taking a step back and actually accepting it, putting it in its place, not worrying and obsessing about ti all really helped. I now have 'evolved' somewhat to enjoy the other side of this crazy world, to help others enjoy it and feel accepted. I learned to stop looking inward and learned to share this kink with others.
I now feel so much better about it all and can share with others the enjoyment of it all. I am not saying it is easy but by actually reaching out and making real life friends it suddenly becomes a whole new world. It is OK to have these feelings, just do not let it consume you and at times take a break. You will feel better for it when you go back. I do not mean you have to purge or throw it all away, just take a step back, put all the bits and pieces in the back of the closet and take some time to reflect.
 
I am only DL and have no little side, but I went through my whole teenage years feeling ashamed. Why did I want to wear and use such a disgusting thing? Then at about 20 years old, I finally accepted myself and realized it hurt nobody so why hate myself? I got a good paying job, got married, had kids and bought a house like a "normal" person and just kept my diaper wearing a secret. All was well. But then in 2015, after being married for 11 years at the time, I decided to finally tell my wife. It was a terrible experience and she made me feel ashamed about myself again. It was as if my diaper wearing made me a totally different person to her and she almost left me over it. It was a very tense few months around the house, but it has become slightly more accepting. She allows me to wear, but it still has to be in secret and never around her or the kids. I also have to hide my stash so she can't find them. This still makes me feel terrible because she won't accept this part of me and wants to live as if it doesn't exist,
 
The only times I feel ashamed or embarresed is when I look in the mirror and I realise the guy I'm looking at is into baby stuff. But it gives me great pleasure to be doing it anyway so it's worth it
 
Also after shower when I'm gonna get dressed and when I look for underwear in the drawer and it's empty, then I realized that I'm on diapers...........
(Damn leaks and damn bladder!)
 
have always been a bit ashamed of it, probably will be for a long time.
 
For me it's all about baby and little stuff - diaper wearing by itself, or all grown up, isn't interesting.

And... yeah... It's deeply shameful. But that's complicated too.

Part of enjoying little stuff for me is tied into being submissive and dominated, and so using the shame I have over these feeling becomes part of a release and a thrill in being pushed out of control and into something that's uncomfortable. I'm ashamed I like being ashamed?

On the other hand feeling ashamed about this stuff most of the time is depressing and totally harmful to my sense of self worth and confidence in being loved and valued. I've been working hard for YEARS struggling with this, and now with the help of my wife I'm slowly coming to a place where I'm not hating this part of me. I'm ... almost ... not ashamed, and I'm almost confident about embracing and enjoying it as something that doesn't have to be out of control (binge, hate self, purge, rinse and repeat). I had to get into a bad palace before I could accept that maybe I needed to be more forgiving of myself and more accepting... having gone through that I'm kinda OK with myself, to myself ... and I can be honest to my wife at least.

On the third hand... this stuff is something I would be horrified and humiliated to be found out about by friends, family and co-workers. So I am ashamed in a real sense there still, but maybe I can find comfort in that everybody wants to keep their intimate life private?
 
PaddedInPuyallup said:
I am only DL and have no little side, but I went through my whole teenage years feeling ashamed. Why did I want to wear and use such a disgusting thing? Then at about 20 years old, I finally accepted myself and realized it hurt nobody so why hate myself? I got a good paying job, got married, had kids and bought a house like a "normal" person and just kept my diaper wearing a secret. All was well. But then in 2015, after being married for 11 years at the time, I decided to finally tell my wife. It was a terrible experience and she made me feel ashamed about myself again. It was as if my diaper wearing made me a totally different person to her and she almost left me over it. It was a very tense few months around the house, but it has become slightly more accepting. She allows me to wear, but it still has to be in secret and never around her or the kids. I also have to hide my stash so she can't find them. This still makes me feel terrible because she won't accept this part of me and wants to live as if it doesn't exist,
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Sounds like you're going through a tough time. You could never untell her so there is no need for regret right? Don't let her lack of acceptance take over your mind. It's already very good you told her after such a long time. I think you should try to talk about it with her once in a while. Don't bring it up every day or week. Just when you feel like doing some diaper stuff you bring it up again.

Also think about what would be the ideal situation for you. Do you want her to accept you being diapered while she's around? Do you want her to be your mommy? Or do you want her to participate and wear one aswell? Maybe she'll ask what you want her to do with it and you should have an answer right? Keep it up man!
 
This is disgusting, embarrassing, awful and depressing!.
I feel some kind of weakened after being on diapers, I feel stigmatized!.
I'm sorry but I'm gonna cry........
 
LonelyFOX said:
This is disgusting, embarrassing, awful and depressing!.
I feel some kind of weakened after being on diapers, I feel stigmatized!.
I'm sorry but I'm gonna cry........
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It's OK!

Cry if you need to, but this is one place where you won't feel stigmatized! HUGS!
 
AdorableRabbit said:
It's OK!

Cry if you need to, but this is one place where you won't feel stigmatized! HUGS!
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But How!!!???. I feel weak on pull on diapers which are for women and mostly older women wear them and I feel ashamed when I'm putting on my sports wear and then I need to wear tena active underwear when I used to wear reebok bikini style with prevail pv511.
It's depressing waking up with a soaked diaper and disgusting when I'm at home wearing a fresh diaper instead of my underwear when going to the laundry room!.
 
Well honestly this sound more like a question for the incontinent sub-forum: http://www.adisc.org/forum/forumdisplay.php/12-Incontinence

I don't have to use them, so I can't really relate. I mean ... I can almost relate because I enjoy the real shame I get out of pretending I have to use them, but then I feel a shame I don't enjoy about that enjoyment in the first place. So... I understand a shame about something you can't control. Maybe it helps to accept there are things we can't control, and regardless of how the rest of the world might or not feel about it we still need to love ourselves?
 
I see that too many guys love to wear diapers but still I feel weak after this bladder issue.
Just waking up wet and making laundry just wearing a T shirt, and wet always discreet underwear and jelly shoes!!!!!
It's very sad for me lounging with a diaper for older women and waiting for the washroom for take a shower right away.
Just I stay at the laundry room and just I cry, that's all that I can do.
 
I sometimes feel ashamed of my ABDL side, mainly because the person who got me into it in the first place hasn't talked to me in months, and sorta moved on, so every once in awhile I catch myself wanting to rid if this lifestyle if she weren't here with me, because it's the last thing that reminds me that we have in common, I also have the issue of when masturb8ing, I will have the urge to do away with everything kinkwise because it ashames me :/
 
DLMelissa said:
I also have the issue of when masturb8ing, I will have the urge to do away with everything kinkwise because it ashames me :/
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Oh my dear, I've have sooooooo been there soooooo many times!!!!! (;_;)

It can get better though... it did for me!
 
Yeah, I have moments where I just look at myself and ask "Why the hell am I doing this?"

For me, as enjoyable as it is at times to go about wearing diapers, regressing and whatever else, it's also something at times I wish I didn't have a care for. It's like there's times where I don't want to ever give it up, and others where I'd do anything to forget it even ever happened.
 
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