Accepting incontinence

[PastelPadding]

I dunno if I'm making the right choice, myself. I almost always feel like I need to pee. I'm always aware of having to hold my pee in and it makes it difficult for me to not be crabby or irritable and it makes stressful situations even more difficult. I've been trying to wear diapers regularly to help give me a bit of peace of mind, but I haven't decided what is preferable - wearing a diaper and being ok with peeing in it so I don't have to worry about holding all the time or being more "normal" and just deal with it.

Sometimes, it's been really nice to feel safe letting go. Other times, I really don't want to put a diaper on. The inner turmoil is real.

 

[Zeke]

I even now have bad days! Waking-up some mornings with a near maxed MEGAMAX and if not for the NS Trifecta PUL diaper cover would have leaked onto the bed. And, when I do have a F-IC event, there is no joy! Short containing the mess, it is demoralizing. When you are down to finding the happy moment being: Well at least the bed, chair, the room was saved!

When toilet training our kids, it was wonderful to see their face light-up when they day-by-day gained small steps in control. Now as my control continue to pass-further away, there is no joy in that! I find that acceptance is a daily occurrence as the process never really stops.

I am so very lucky that my dear wife picks-up on those bad days and I get a warm hug and kind loving words as she also has to accept that today is the best it gets!

I try to look for the best way to look at things to keep my attitude as positive as possible. Over time I’ve come to realize that if I get a bad attitude towards something or someone that it’s going to be downhill from there and it becomes difficult for me to deal with it or them. Looking for those things that a blessing but are easily missed if you not looking for them helps me get through situations that I might otherwise dread. The saying that started looking at things this way is “Life’s 10% what comes at you and 90% what you do with it!”. I first heard it a few months after my ex-wife filed for divorce and it has served me well ever since. It got me through those hard times and many others not quite so tough since.

 

[daylight]

And, when I do have a F-IC event, there is no joy! Short containing the mess, it is demoralizing. When you are down to finding the happy moment being: Well at least the bed, chair, the room was saved!

That's the way to look on the brighter side of life. You saved an innocent sofa, bed or an entire room village!

I try to look at the day in what was enjoyable and happy, not what didn't go so well. A hug from my wife really helps!

 

[fredy552]

Ok, upfront sorry for the long rant.....but I am struggling a bit currently.

I have been a member of the community for quite some time, as I have dealt with bedwetting and OAB/IBS episodes for years. Although I had a very strong bladder as a kid I can recall some incidents being 5 or 6 when nearly wetting myself or dealing with IBS due to bad genetics and some food intolerances at that time.

This all took a turn for the worse after I had a bad UTI/kidney infection while in uni (still don't know what caused it, but I suspect holiday my bladder too long during a festival could have played a part in it). The first year was horrendous, in which I had to diaper up if I would have no direct access to a toilet ...but eventually my symptoms got better till something which was more intermittent. The logic and reasons behind a flare up I still don't understand, but it was manageable as I could quite easy predict when a flare up was happening and which precautions (cutting back fluids, wearing diapers) I had to take. Things went OK, I only noticed that the problems did get worse...there were periods I got the urge every few mins...and turned the car around to get protection on multiple occasions.

Fast forward till spring last year in which I sustained a cervical hyperextension injury (level C4-C5) due to a fall/collapse in the middle of the night (was severely overworked at that time). Waking up more or less paralyzed (no fine motor skills) and not knowing how this will develop is quite the experience I have to say...luckily emergency surgery to relieve the pressure of my spinal cord lead to a good overall recovery over the course of a few months....and got me back on my feet. I can say that I'm 98-99% recovered, and the remaining injuries are invisible to the public eye.

One of the main remaining issues is incontinence (bladder and to minor extent bowel) My bladder can switch between being in a 'semi-retention' state in which is it difficult to pee or can go in overactive mode. Either way...I get a sudden urge and then I usually have not much time to find a bathroom. Trying to hold and concentrate till the urge is gone helps, but often leads to the effect I will get a strong/sudden urge to have a bowel movement and then of course I need to find a toilet quite fast. Bowel wise, I do have semi-constipation (normal schedule is a BM every day, but sometimes this doesn't work out). When not having a BM for 1 to max. 2 days will lead again to a strong sudden urge the day after....over the last few months I did develop some tricks and changed my diet to a very healthy one, so far only 2 mishaps over the last 14 months....but definitely more close calls.

After my hospital and rehab I did remain wearing protection fulltime, sometimes a thick guard but most of the time simply heavy pull ups or diapers. Although considering what has happened I am extremely grateful that I am back on my feet and incontinence is only a 'minor' issue with only minor impact on my daily life, I struggle a lot with the acceptance process and having to wear 24/7. Dealing with (intermittent) OAB was something annoying but I could easily brush off, although technically it is considered incontinence. While encountering these new issues, I tried to brush it off as something which was in my head or just part of the recovery....but to be fair14 months post injury I don't know if this will improve or not.

In the last few weeks, something snapped and I realized I do have to admit to myself I have incontinence and not simply OAB anymore. Something I really struggle with especially as the whole issue is so tabooed in general (especially towards younger individuals) it makes you feel isolated. Especially as from the outside I am a successful young professional, with a great career and physically in a good shape...but I am carrying these 'non visible' injuries with me. Moreover considering as I am striving to have a better work/life balance I really want to start dating again.

Sorry for the long rant, but on the one hand it troubles me and other hand I know I have to embrace it and get on with life. Would be nice to connect with some others in the same boat.

Good day all I can say is I as a Retired soldier who never flunked a P.T. Test and an individual who was very sure of himself on the outside. I understand I think on how hard it is to accept as a grown man wearing Diapers and Plastic Pants but I do believe I have finally admitted to myself that I wear diapers and plastic pants 24/7 now was it easy at first no I hid my wearing Pull-Ups that leaked several times at inappropriate times and I went to Diapers and now I have informed my Doctor who I guess was quite surprised this cock sure retired soldier is admitting he wets himself and wears diapers. Have I told him all the things my body has been through in the last almost 69 years no. But he is learning and we work through this.