a question for you sissy types - just curious

[pjprettybutton]

Thank you for this provocative post. I luv feeling shame in my sissy outfits. They are the kinds of clothes in which you might dress a toddler or a doll, so the shame comes less from being feminized (tho that is still a part of it) and more from being displayed as a very weak, delicate, child-like person who is an adult. My character is a little boy who is dressed and treated as a parody of a little girl. So yes, there is sexism there, I think, based on a misunderstanding of what it means to be a little girl. For me the best approach as an adult is to acknowledge the sexism so that I won't let it adversely affect my relations with real females (or males). We can be good people despite our defects, thankfully, because we all have them.

 

[KBoy]

View attachment 131507

Thanks, that is so sweet & you are very kind to give me such a gentle hug. Made my day
It is true abdl's don't get much acceptance. But this is a good community. Been feeling the Love

 

[DLSteph]

I am quite feminine all the time, long hair, women's earrings and I get my eyebrow waxed and tinted. I work as a landscaper and most of my customers are much older being in the retired category for the most. This age group is sometimes fairly or unfairly regarded as the most conservative. To my surprise I've only every had one bad comment from a 75 year old woman complaining earrings are !only for women!

As for being a sissy, there is of course a very strong dominatrix v sissy relationship in the chastity community. My wife and I have engaged in chastity play and to my amazement it brought out a very strong domme side in her. Her best friend also expressed a deep interest in being able to dominate men and treat them as sissies. She said this without any prompting from my wife.

So, it seems there might be a desire by some and maybe many women to redress the huge gender imbalance of power by humiliating men by making them become sissies. I've also noticed in a number of clubs etc... that men also seem to like sissy men, it might help them dominate when otherwise they might struggle to dominate another man.

The key issue about hatred might be linked to behaviour. I've noticed at lots of scene and non-scene venues that people tend to react to how you are behaving. It's been my experience that in many situations people just ignore you and only tend to become noticeably unpleasant to those who might in their eyes act out a bit too much.

In general though I think women are more accepting of all types of kinks, lifestyles than men as long as they are not getting their faces rubbed in it...so to speak. I go out regularly with a large group of women including my wife as Steph and always had a really good time.

I'm speaking as someone who has been out in England and Scotland. I recognise that other places may not be as accepting.

x

 

[DLSteph]

That should read eyebrows. I don't have a uni brow Lol

 

[BuddyBoy]

Thank you for this provocative post. I luv feeling shame in my sissy outfits. They are the kinds of clothes in which you might dress a toddler or a doll, so the shame comes less from being feminized (tho that is still a part of it) and more from being displayed as a very weak, delicate, child-like person who is an adult. My character is a little boy who is dressed and treated as a parody of a little girl. So yes, there is sexism there, I think, based on a misunderstanding of what it means to be a little girl. For me the best approach as an adult is to acknowledge the sexism so that I won't let it adversely affect my relations with real females (or males). We can be good people despite our defects, thankfully, because we all have them.

I agree that the two essential elements of the notion of sissy are effeminity and juvenility. But it has here crossed my mind that the the sissy is mocking the female; he is imitating her because he admires her-imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. (Males who dress and make-up as women are a different category and can speak for themselves.) He recognizes the natural superiority of females and accepts a subordinate role in female society. Comments, especially from females, are welcome.

 

[PrettyGirl76]

I've been thinking about this very topic lately. Is my sissy-ness simply a sexual fetish, am I really just a sexual submissive? I don't think so, because I honestly feel euphoric when I put on dress. I get excited sexually when I dress up in my sissy clothes, so I dunno. Maybe?

Do I think it's disrespectful to women to wish to be dominated? No. It's a deeply personal feeling about wanting to be loved by someone more confident than I am about the world. It's not about respect. It's more about what you feel like you need to be happy, if you ask me. Maybe it's misdirected. I dunno bout that.

 

[michaelmc]

I'm confused. I personally have no issue at all with the whole sissy thing. But I was reading some discussions on fetlife and was amazed at the, well, outright hatred some women were displaying towards it. On the basis that it is misogynistic (and by implication all sissies must be horrible). And it got me thinking - am I a really weird female (OK I actually consider myself gender fluid but bear with me here as I was kind of in female mode at the time) for not understanding these other women's abject hatred for the kink? So I thought I'd pose my question on here, because you lot are generally much more respectful.

Their basic argument was that sissy equates to humiliation and you can only be humiliated by being a sissy if you think that women are somehow lesser to men. But, well, the sissies I know are unbelievably respectful towards women. Way more than many vanilla types I know. Yes it's about humiliation but surely it is more about doing something others view of as inappropriate or against societal norms? Many of these women were "I'm OK with crossdressers but sissies... hard no". I don't actually understand that attitude. It sounds a bit like the "I'm not racist but..." to me. Do you sissies come up against this kind of "you must all really hate women" thing? And I wonder if those of us with the opposite "tomboy" type thing would get the same reaction? (I kind of know the answer there, I have been a rather tomboyish girl for my whole life - tomboys are more social acceptable and actually easier to blend in with vanilla world).

Anyway, I was curious to what you all think of this.

It's not about humiliation for me ( unless outed ) it's more being girly and amazingly gorgeous frilly dresses and accessories and cute nappies im not into punishment or submission im just a guy in a very girly dress if you look up the definition off sissy you will not see any corporal punishment or shaming in the definition it's more off a personal choice off BDSM to aid shame and punishment .
Sissy is not BDSM but is used by BDSM .

 

[PetahPetah]

I have a boy-thing. Like them. Was picked on for years. Don't want to be a B!+(#. Should do something because i want to, my free choice. Not calling all girls that, btw.

 

[mammalun]

It's not about humiliation for me ( unless outed ) it's more being girly and amazingly gorgeous frilly dresses and accessories and cute nappies im not into punishment or submission im just a guy in a very girly dress if you look up the definition off sissy you will not see any corporal punishment or shaming in the definition it's more off a personal choice off BDSM to aid shame and punishment .
Sissy is not BDSM but is used by BDSM .

I read something recently that framed the counter argument to all these "sissy = misogyny" things. What if men are doing it knowing that women are usually the ones in the position of less power so are doing it to better understand what the females in their lives have experienced. Would being a sissy actually make you a better partner?

 

[NKY2020]

I've been thinking about this very topic lately. Is my sissy-ness simply a sexual fetish, am I really just a sexual submissive? I don't think so, because I honestly feel euphoric when I put on dress. I get excited sexually when I dress up in my sissy clothes, so I dunno. Maybe?

Do I think it's disrespectful to women to wish to be dominated? No. It's a deeply personal feeling about wanting to be loved by someone more confident than I am about the world. It's not about respect. It's more about what you feel like you need to be happy, if you ask me. Maybe it's misdirected. I dunno bout that.

That is EXACTLY how I feel. I was happiest years ago when, between purges, I had a pretty pink ruffled mind dress and matching diaper panties. I was SO EXCITED and the HAPPIEST I've ever been. I would love to be hugging, kissing, and playing g with another sissy experiencing the same feelings. I'd love to meet a like minded sissy.
Sissy kisses..cupping

 

[Peesalot]

I do not have a sissy relationship with my wife although I would love to be her sissy mate. It is not a matter of being humiliated. I simply love crossdressing and would like her to take more control in our relationship. I would like her to tell me to put on my maid's outfit and start doing some house cleaning. Maybe she could tell me to put on a nice casual dress/outfit and do the grocery shopping. At our ages and with some physical limitations, we no longer engage in sex. But, when we did, I was more often than not quite submissive to her. I wanted to make sure she was well satisfied before penetration if that even occurred. My wife was regularly on top (position of authority) while I was a bottom (a submissive position). I've always thought to myself if she had wanted me to be her cuckold, I would be that person. Yes, that would involve humiliation; but, if that's what she wanted, I would be happy/willing to do that including letting her bull do to me what she wanted and me doing to him what she wanted. The bottom line is I always thought being a sissy simply meant pleasing a woman in any way that made her happy. If it involved being humiliated, fine. If not, that would be fine, too.

 

[NKY2020]

We think exactly the same....wow. wife to vanilla to go for that though. I love feeling like a sissy.......so warm and fuzzy. Need to get some pink ruffled plastic panties by her somehow.....

 

[inhershoes]

It is a hard term to define at times and one that I can see ladies would be upset about. If you are a sissy, which I consider myself one, you generally wear women's lingerie and clothing. But if you are being put in your place by wearing these items, does that make women less superior? I can see why an outsider or someone unknowledgeable thinks that, but it is simply not true. I feel women are at a higher being, and as a sissy, I am there to serve them and pleasure them. Women's lingerie, clothing and feminine being just remind me that I am or lack of there of a male who is a beta sissy willing to serve. By wearing men's clothing, you are more alpha and don't want to be feminine-like. It is a tough web to untangle but all we can do is try to educate

 

[Ali123]

Wow. This is such an interesting thread, and so good to see so many people expressing their own interpretations of what being a sissy does and doesn’t mean.

From my own point of view - I dress as a woman pretty much permanently. I still call it cross dressing, although others may refer to it differently.

I don’t want to be a woman, I just like dressing as one.

In my experience, women are very accepting of this, often fascinated by it. Men are generally a bit more wary, but I’ve never really had a problem, other than with the kind of man who seems to have a problem with everyone who isn’t also a skinheaded football hooligan, if you know the sort I mean.

I wonder if the reason men are more wary is that there actually may be a spectrum of masculinity/femininity. Very few are 100% one end or the other of that spectrum. So seeing another man acting femininely chimes to a greater or lesser extent with the man. He may well not have recognised that he is X% along the masculinity/femininity spectrum, so he’s not sure how to react.

I’m also a sissy, although unlike my cross dressing this is a very private thing, with only a very few people knowing about it.

From my own point of view, it has nothing at all to do with misogyny.

When I dress as a sissy it’s very much linked to humiliation. Last evening I wore pink frilly knickers and bra, white lacy/frilly top, white lacy tights with a white frilly garter belt on each leg, white frilly shorts (they’re so frilly they’re actually like baby knickers) and red patent high heels. I also applied bright red lipstick and matching nail varnish.

I can’t imagine any female wearing anything like that, although it was all female clothes. I was on my own, but I could imagine females laughing at me in such a sissyish outfit, and I loved it.

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

I have no wish to become a woman. The clothes are a sexual turn on for me.

 

[SluntyBunnyGurl]

All of those fetlife women who hate us are just afraid that their husbands and boyfriends will leave them for some of us.

 

[messydiaper]

Wow. This is such an interesting thread, and so good to see so many people expressing their own interpretations of what being a sissy does and doesn’t mean.

From my own point of view - I dress as a woman pretty much permanently. I still call it cross dressing, although others may refer to it differently.

I don’t want to be a woman, I just like dressing as one.

In my experience, women are very accepting of this, often fascinated by it. Men are generally a bit more wary, but I’ve never really had a problem, other than with the kind of man who seems to have a problem with everyone who isn’t also a skinheaded football hooligan, if you know the sort I mean.

I wonder if the reason men are more wary is that there actually may be a spectrum of masculinity/femininity. Very few are 100% one end or the other of that spectrum. So seeing another man acting femininely chimes to a greater or lesser extent with the man. He may well not have recognised that he is X% along the masculinity/femininity spectrum, so he’s not sure how to react.

I’m also a sissy, although unlike my cross dressing this is a very private thing, with only a very few people knowing about it.

From my own point of view, it has nothing at all to do with misogyny.

When I dress as a sissy it’s very much linked to humiliation. Last evening I wore pink frilly knickers and bra, white lacy/frilly top, white lacy tights with a white frilly garter belt on each leg, white frilly shorts (they’re so frilly they’re actually like baby knickers) and red patent high heels. I also applied bright red lipstick and matching nail varnish.

I can’t imagine any female wearing anything like that, although it was all female clothes. I was on my own, but I could imagine females laughing at me in such a sissyish outfit, and I loved it.

I'm a fifty-ish cis male. Hetero. Happily married. DL.

When I was four, I remember going to the circus. My parents bought me the program that was a memorabilia book you could take home and remember the experience.

I saw women wearing high heels. That fascinated me. I obsessed over the high heels they were wearing. And then I realized that boys don't wear high heels. Now, here I am, 50-ish years later, still being fascinated by wearing high heels. I do wear high heels when I want, and my wife supports me.

I think it's okay for masculine men to be attracted to feminine things. Masculine attracted to feminine? How long has this been going on?!?

 

[ShortMummy]

I'm confused. I personally have no issue at all with the whole sissy thing. But I was reading some discussions on fetlife and was amazed at the, well, outright hatred some women were displaying towards it. On the basis that it is misogynistic (and by implication all sissies must be horrible). And it got me thinking - am I a really weird female (OK I actually consider myself gender fluid but bear with me here as I was kind of in female mode at the time) for not understanding these other women's abject hatred for the kink? So I thought I'd pose my question on here, because you lot are generally much more respectful.

Their basic argument was that sissy equates to humiliation and you can only be humiliated by being a sissy if you think that women are somehow lesser to men. But, well, the sissies I know are unbelievably respectful towards women. Way more than many vanilla types I know. Yes it's about humiliation but surely it is more about doing something others view of as inappropriate or against societal norms? Many of these women were "I'm OK with crossdressers but sissies... hard no". I don't actually understand that attitude. It sounds a bit like the "I'm not racist but..." to me. Do you sissies come up against this kind of "you must all really hate women" thing? And I wonder if those of us with the opposite "tomboy" type thing would get the same reaction? (I kind of know the answer there, I have been a rather tomboyish girl for my whole life - tomboys are more social acceptable and actually easier to blend in with vanilla world).

Anyway, I was curious to what you all think of this.

So I'm transgender, a trans man who was born female. So my take on this is that, lots of the 'shame' associated with being a sissy is what society places on it. The women who look at sissy lifestyles as being misogynistic are misunderstanding the divisions between fantasy and reality. For example, there are plenty of people who enjoy BDSM life styles who enjoy being degraded and humiliated for everything from their weight to their race, but that doesn't mean they actually want to be abused. Or that they actually believe they are worthless. Often times, people who participate in sissification want to get in touch with a femininity they are or were denied in their every day lives. And one of the easiest ways to reach that is through embracing the shame, especially through arousal. Even though I'm a trans guy, I like being a sissy. There are some trans guys that have a fetish for being misgendered. That doesn't mean they actually want to be misgendered outside the bedroom. Just that it allows us to embrace both our femininity and the shame we have been made to feel about possessing those traits. It allows us to honor parts of ourselves we have been forced to repress.