a question for you sissy types - just curious

[mammalun]

I'm confused. I personally have no issue at all with the whole sissy thing. But I was reading some discussions on fetlife and was amazed at the, well, outright hatred some women were displaying towards it. On the basis that it is misogynistic (and by implication all sissies must be horrible). And it got me thinking - am I a really weird female (OK I actually consider myself gender fluid but bear with me here as I was kind of in female mode at the time) for not understanding these other women's abject hatred for the kink? So I thought I'd pose my question on here, because you lot are generally much more respectful.

Their basic argument was that sissy equates to humiliation and you can only be humiliated by being a sissy if you think that women are somehow lesser to men. But, well, the sissies I know are unbelievably respectful towards women. Way more than many vanilla types I know. Yes it's about humiliation but surely it is more about doing something others view of as inappropriate or against societal norms? Many of these women were "I'm OK with crossdressers but sissies... hard no". I don't actually understand that attitude. It sounds a bit like the "I'm not racist but..." to me. Do you sissies come up against this kind of "you must all really hate women" thing? And I wonder if those of us with the opposite "tomboy" type thing would get the same reaction? (I kind of know the answer there, I have been a rather tomboyish girl for my whole life - tomboys are more social acceptable and actually easier to blend in with vanilla world).

Anyway, I was curious to what you all think of this.

 

[OnePiece]

While I’m not very in to humiliation at all, my thought was that the humiliation game was more of how society look at men that dresses sissy,
not how sissies look at women.
But I can see how these women have a point, but that is more how society as a whole look at femininity vs. masculinity, not something special about sissies.
As I see it, both men and women get rewarded for masculinity and «punished» for femininity, of course men more so.
In my ideal world, femininity and masculinity would not have any «best», but both be celebrated when used positively.

 

[mistykitty]

It's not about humiliation for me. Really the main reason sissy is part of mine is because I'm transfemale. I id as a girl/woman.

 

[kaitsux]

Their basic argument was that sissy equates to humiliation and you can only be humiliated by being a sissy if you think that women are somehow lesser to men.

The core root of the sissy kink is about degration and humiliation and is centered around exagerated femininity and being submissive. It doesn't matter how nice your sissy friends are the kink is embroidered with enforcing gender roles and humiliatings those who break out of them by degrading them as lesser, with the lesser being equated to feminine man or womanly.

In a way Sissies are Like Drag Queens, they're both exagerations of femininity done predominatly by men but the difference is that Drag is meant to be empowering for the person and very obviously exagerated and Sissy stuff is meant to be fetishistic and humiliating to the person dressing in it and while it is exagerated it's done to lean more into a different direction.

 

[mammalun]

The core root of the sissy kink is about degration and humiliation and is centered around exagerated femininity and being submissive. It doesn't matter how nice your sissy friends are the kink is embroidered with enforcing gender roles and humiliatings those who break out of them by degrading them as lesser, with the lesser being equated to feminine man or womanly.

OK but you can't then make the massive generalisation that all sissies are misogynistic in their nature surely? That was what these women were implying. Actually some weren't implying, they were stating it directly and displaying a huge amount of hate towards men in the process. Without any hint of irony about their own sexist views. Anyway, surely it is an exaggerated role a person likes to play. A theatre. It certainly doesn't, or shouldn't, equate to you being a horrible person to be avoided.

I'm curious, do the people here who are into sissification consider themselves to be misogynistic? Does knowing the fact that it is based in misogyny actually make it more humiliating?

I don't know, maybe I'm just naive. I was just taken aback by the hatred towards sissies that I saw.

 

[Pantyslave]

Sadly, I just think it's the world today.
'Culture wars' stoked by ambitious, megalomaniac populists seeking to divide and rule. Everyone encouraged to hate the 'otherness' of others.
Apologies if this post is too political.

 

[SissyAliceUK]

I use the name SissyAlice and sometimes label myself as such but i often think i am more of a little.

To me it's not sexual and i don't really like the idea of being in a humiliating situation, when it comes to dressing up i like to wear all the cute, girly childish clothes i craved to wear when i was a young child.

For years i have questioned whether i am trans, nonbinary, genderfluid or anything else in that spectrum as i have always preferred the feminine aesthetic when it comes to clothing presentation and gender expression but have always felt too ashamed to express it publicly.

With regards to misogyny i have absolutely no hate towards women and have no misogynistic views but i can kind of get their point, with regards to others i suspect most sissies who like humiliation get it from being seen in sissy style clothing rather than being seen as a "weak" woman. But i have never really spoken to other much about it and i am not really an expert at analysing things like this so could be wrong.

 

[KBoy]

I'm hetrosexual and a sissy
I haven't really encountered hate from women over this. I believe abdl's are misunderstood, even hated. My problem really has been with other men. I have had very close friends that I believe may have even tried to kill me if they had known.
After being on forum for a few months I have thought about this a lot. I plan to write about it here but so far I just haven't had the courage or words to express myself.
I have made the observation that straight women seem to be more excepting of gay men than men are, and
mostly women don't seem concerned that I am different. Men are another story, i have to be careful around other men.....
I honestly feel a little tramatized by the fact that some of my closest friends would have hated me over being ABDL, I never even thought about it till I came on forum and experienced acceptance....

 

[Tom1066]

I am a sissy and a lifelong crossdresser, although I really think the term "crossdresser" is awful and terribly dated. Transgender is a much better way of describing this supposed malady. So why am I this way? I've given a great deal of thought to that question over the years. Since it started for me at four or five years of age, it can hardly be about hatred of women. I mean, how can a tiny boy child be a misogynist? I believe I was simply born with a greater degree of femininity than the vast majority of men. And, of course, I'm not alone; there are a small percentage of other men who share this blessing, or curse, with me. I don't believe that it's more complicated than that, at least in my case; although other men may indeed be sissies for a whole variety of arcane reasons. I do know that my dressing disgusts some people. Believe me, not all shopping trips to Macy's lingerie department have been pleasant. I've experienced real hatred just trying to buy a pair of panties. "Crossdressing" is not looked upon benignly. But "I am what I am and that's all that I am" to quote Popeye. I will live with this sometimes troubling condition until the day I die. And at the worst of times, trust me, the promise of that eventual death can look welcome.

 

[sissygirlpink]

Hello,

There is no definitive resolution of sissyhood in my view.

Whether it be simple crossdressing, bi curiosity, same sex relationship is not the question.

It’s more about how you feel, not a definition.

I am a cross dresser, pure and simple. I have bi curious thoughts and fantasies. I have some abdl tendencies but very feminine, mixed with my cross dressing despite being male, with a female partner.


I enjoy a bit of humiliation and derision but I also want my partner to love me for who I am.

I consider myself a true sissy.

Jenny x

 

[LadyOfTintagel]

I do not think that sissies are necessarily misogynistic. But I do think that the specific kink of humiliation and degradation that many sissies enjoy would not be possible without society being misogynistic, if that makes sense.

This is straying into sexuality talk, which I know not everyone here is into; but since you brought up humiliation I think it's an important thing to talk about. There isn't really a reason why feminine men should be considered shameful or humiliating, but society *does*, and a lot of sissies like to be treated like that, at least in sexual scenarios. That's the reason why others see it as inappropriate or unusual, and you can't really escape that.

In that sense, I can understand why people are put off by that. This doesn't make sissies misogynistic, though, nor does it mean there's anything wrong with enjoying that, it just makes that particular blend of humiliation something worth thinking critically about.

I am a trans woman myself. I am not a sissy, but I do think sissies and I are kind of points on the same map, so to speak. We're all embracing our genders and identifying in a way that makes us comfortable, and there's nothing wrong with being a man who identifies as having enough of a feminine streak that normal terms of masculinity don't apply to him. I've never personally met a sissy who was anything but kind and respectful of my identity, nor who had any genuine feelings of misogyny; although I think it's also worth noting that we all have misogyny ingrained in us early on just by witnessing the way society treats women, and I think it's incumbent on all of us to root it out within ourselves as best we can.

 

[mammalun]

I'm hetrosexual and a sissy
I haven't really encountered hate from women over this. I believe abdl's are misunderstood, even hated. My problem really has been with other men. I have had very close friends that I believe may have even tried to kill me if they had known.
After being on forum for a few months I have thought about this a lot. I plan to write about it here but so far I just haven't had the courage or words to express myself.
I have made the observation that straight women seem to be more excepting of gay men than men are, and
mostly women don't seem concerned that I am different. Men are another story, i have to be careful around other men.....
I honestly feel a little tramatized by the fact that some of my closest friends would have hated me over being ABDL, I never even thought about it till I came on forum and experienced acceptance....

I can relate a little to that because of my son's experiences. He was so terrified of doing sports because of other boys attitudes in middle/ high school. For him it was not that he himself was targeted, more that he hated the way others were and felt his time would come eventually. At least here in Sweden, so many talk the "tolerance" talk but walk the "prejudiced" walk. I wonder if I'm more aware of that because I'm an immigrant - so I kind of experience first hand at times. Anyway, it's only through learning my Little and interacting here that I have heard/ seen the hate that gets thrown the ABDL way. It actually makes me feel really sad and I wish I could give you all a great big hug. And I am hugely protective of my Little.

Also, I am a teacher and one activity we did at school this year was about women's football compared to men's football (by that I mean soccer). Because if you look at the women's teams there is a high proportion of homosexuals. If you do the math there should be a corresponding number in the male teams that are homosexual yet the number of those openly gay is far less than expected. We asked the kids why, and even at their age (13-14) they were very clear in their "it's just less acceptable for a guy, guys are horrible to each other if they suspect, girl's are more accepting". Which is kind of interesting because my personal experience of teenage girls growing up was that they were just as bad, if not worse.

 

[BuddyBoy]

I'm confused. I personally have no issue at all with the whole sissy thing. But I was reading some discussions on fetlife and was amazed at the, well, outright hatred some women were displaying towards it. On the basis that it is misogynistic (and by implication all sissies must be horrible). And it got me thinking - am I a really weird female (OK I actually consider myself gender fluid but bear with me here as I was kind of in female mode at the time) for not understanding these other women's abject hatred for the kink? So I thought I'd pose my question on here, because you lot are generally much more respectful.

Their basic argument was that sissy equates to humiliation and you can only be humiliated by being a sissy if you think that women are somehow lesser to men. But, well, the sissies I know are unbelievably respectful towards women. Way more than many vanilla types I know. Yes it's about humiliation but surely it is more about doing something others view of as inappropriate or against societal norms? Many of these women were "I'm OK with crossdressers but sissies... hard no". I don't actually understand that attitude. It sounds a bit like the "I'm not racist but..." to me. Do you sissies come up against this kind of "you must all really hate women" thing? And I wonder if those of us with the opposite "tomboy" type thing would get the same reaction? (I kind of know the answer there, I have been a rather tomboyish girl for my whole life - tomboys are more social acceptable and actually easier to blend in with vanilla world).

Anyway, I was curious to what you all think of this.

I have been a sissy all life and never encountered the female push-back you are talking about. That may be because of the way that I define sissy: a male who prefers to socialize with females and accepts an inferior position in female society. He its effeminate but he is also juvenile, in other words "a kid sister" or sissy. I realize this is not everyone's definition and welcome other opinions. But relate them to mammalun's question.

 

[FelicityBeverly]

I'm confused. I personally have no issue at all with the whole sissy thing. But I was reading some discussions on fetlife and was amazed at the, well, outright hatred some women were displaying towards it. On the basis that it is misogynistic (and by implication all sissies must be horrible). And it got me thinking - am I a really weird female (OK I actually consider myself gender fluid but bear with me here as I was kind of in female mode at the time) for not understanding these other women's abject hatred for the kink? So I thought I'd pose my question on here, because you lot are generally much more respectful.

Their basic argument was that sissy equates to humiliation and you can only be humiliated by being a sissy if you think that women are somehow lesser to men. But, well, the sissies I know are unbelievably respectful towards women. Way more than many vanilla types I know. Yes it's about humiliation but surely it is more about doing something others view of as inappropriate or against societal norms? Many of these women were "I'm OK with crossdressers but sissies... hard no". I don't actually understand that attitude. It sounds a bit like the "I'm not racist but..." to me. Do you sissies come up against this kind of "you must all really hate women" thing? And I wonder if those of us with the opposite "tomboy" type thing would get the same reaction? (I kind of know the answer there, I have been a rather tomboyish girl for my whole life - tomboys are more social acceptable and actually easier to blend in with vanilla world).

Anyway, I was curious to what you all think of this

I’d say I’m a sissy, but it’s not connected with humiliation at all for me. It’s about that connection with the ultra-feminine enjoyment. Not denigration, but being loved and desired for sexuality, beauty, and the strength of femine of power. And my SO agrees. She enjoying it for the very same reasons.

Maybe there are those who do it for those other reasons but seems like an overly broad generalization founding in a misplaced hatred to me.

 

[kaitsux]

OK but you can't then make the massive generalisation that all sissies are misogynistic in their nature surely?

The kink is though, maybe not the people but they partake in an action that can be seen as problematic. I feel like there is a line though that people draw on what counts as a sissy. A lot of people in the thread are equating it to basically just someone who's overtly feminine, wearing what some would class as womens clothes and may have not been asigned that at birth. That kind of thing, just enjoying items that are feminine is fine but I would not call that. It's when you start acting like people are lower or higher than others socially which is the problemWhen it becomes sexually arousing to be caught in the clothes with it seen as humiliating or degrading which is the problem. and thats probably what most people see the sissy kink as becuase that's a lot of what the content you see is about.

I think Lady of Tintagel is 100% right here, you'd have to think it was out of place for someone asigned as male to be wearing a dress to enjoy a lot of the humiliation of the sissy kink.

the specific kink of humiliation and degradation that many sissies enjoy would not be possible without society being misogynistic

TBF i've also seen a handful of sissies be very transphobic too, not sure if anyone else has but it's quite weird when you see it. Not sure if anyone else has.

 

[Littleboyplastic]

I'm confused. I personally have no issue at all with the whole sissy thing. But I was reading some discussions on fetlife and was amazed at the, well, outright hatred some women were displaying towards it. On the basis that it is misogynistic (and by implication all sissies must be horrible). And it got me thinking - am I a really weird female (OK I actually consider myself gender fluid but bear with me here as I was kind of in female mode at the time) for not understanding these other women's abject hatred for the kink? So I thought I'd pose my question on here, because you lot are generally much more respectful.

Their basic argument was that sissy equates to humiliation and you can only be humiliated by being a sissy if you think that women are somehow lesser to men. But, well, the sissies I know are unbelievably respectful towards women. Way more than many vanilla types I know. Yes it's about humiliation but surely it is more about doing something others view of as inappropriate or against societal norms? Many of these women were "I'm OK with crossdressers but sissies... hard no". I don't actually understand that attitude. It sounds a bit like the "I'm not racist but..." to me. Do you sissies come up against this kind of "you must all really hate women" thing? And I wonder if those of us with the opposite "tomboy" type thing would get the same reaction? (I kind of know the answer there, I have been a rather tomboyish girl for my whole life - tomboys are more social acceptable and actually easier to blend in with vanilla world).

Anyway, I was curious to what you all think of this.

I think the Sissy thing is a lovely ‘kink’ that both men and women can enjoy as a very stimulating thought. I wish I had the circumstances to bring it to life. So lovely to get tangled up in the cross sexual aspects too. I get a bit confused thinking about it.

 

[Jojo54]

Hello,

There is no definitive resolution of sissyhood in my view.

Whether it be simple crossdressing, bi curiosity, same sex relationship is not the question.

It’s more about how you feel, not a definition.

I am a cross dresser, pure and simple. I have bi curious thoughts and fantasies. I have some abdl tendencies but very feminine, mixed with my cross dressing despite being male, with a female partner.


I enjoy a bit of humiliation and derision but I also want my partner to love me for who I am.

I consider myself a true sissy.

Jenny x

Your reply says it all. Whatever name catagory you choose is just perfect. Everyone should be good about themselves. Speaking only for myself, if I'm attracted to someone the catagory they choose to identify with works for me!

 

[AsherDearing]

I have encountered this same hatred toward sissies, almost on Fetlife, I think Fet as a whole has some very polarising views. I tend not to interact on Fetlife a lot for this reason. Mostly just there to find events.

My “sissy” side is what I would traditionally have classed as a sissy growing up, a boy who likes to explore girly things, in this space as an AB/little, I can explore femininity much more freely than I could when I was in preschool or when I fantasised about being a girl in my teens, the whole thing is generally positive.

I do like being teased and embarrassed a little bit and if find dressing in girly baby clothes to be a more embarrassing than being in boyish or gender neutral baby clothes, but the kind of stuff I like is playful prodding and almost banterish than actually degrading, if the language around it becomes negative or mean then it crosses a hard line for me.

Also, as was said by @OnePiece, where the embarrassment comes from is not from how I view femininity but from how society views femininity in general as well as from breaking gender roles.

I think a lot of the reason women on Fetlife have these opinions is that they have received a lot of negative behaviour from sissy men, there are people in our communities who don’t treat people with a lot of respect online, especially on Fetlife, heck as a bi/ace male I’ve had some of it as well. However, they have taken this behaviour and have used it to make blanket statements about a group of people. That to me is kink shaming and intolerant. So while they may have had some negative experiences which I regret, they have ultimately ended up in the wrong.

 

[MamaInHerPajamas]

I'm hetrosexual and a sissy
I haven't really encountered hate from women over this. I believe abdl's are misunderstood, even hated. My problem really has been with other men. I have had very close friends that I believe may have even tried to kill me if they had known.
After being on forum for a few months I have thought about this a lot. I plan to write about it here but so far I just haven't had the courage or words to express myself.
I have made the observation that straight women seem to be more excepting of gay men than men are, and
mostly women don't seem concerned that I am different. Men are another story, i have to be careful around other men.....
I honestly feel a little tramatized by the fact that some of my closest friends would have hated me over being ABDL, I never even thought about it till I came on forum and experienced acceptance....

 

[BuddyBoy]

I'm a sissy who gravitated toward girls when ai was quite young. I found acceptance as long as I knew my place. If I forgot and became too familiar or-heaven forbid- acted superior, I was scolded or humiliated by one of them in front of other girls. No one said anything to support me and it was as if I has been shamed by the entire group.