A PhD study on nonsexual/regressive adult babies

[LittleBelleReturns]

I came across this PhD thesis about nonsexual regressive adult babies by a British Psychotherapist who works specifically with littles to help them accept themselves and thought you all might want to have a read! She also wrote this article. - https://www.the-pca.org.uk/blog/adultbaby.html

https://chesterrep.openrepository.com/bitstream/handle/10034/627663/Fifth Draft Complete Thesis.pdf?

Disclaimer: I have only had a flick through and not had time to read yet, and probably won't for a while, but I know the author is an ally!

Here is a quote from her short article I linked:

"Unless one is immersed in the ABDL community, information about this group comes from two main sources; academic journals and from Main Stream Media (MSM). What appears to be common for both sources are a lack of consistency, general misinformation and misrepresentation. TV and MSM proffer salacious views of adult babies (Attack of the Adult Babies (2017) - IMDb, n.d). Representations of adult babies which focus on sexual practice are confirmed in academia, perpetuating a view of non-sexual adult baby practice as a paraphilia (Banbury et al., 2017). Clearly, this is inaccurate, non-sexual behaviour being impossible to be categorised as a paraphilia. However, when society looks to academia on how to regard adult babies and finds such literature, it reinforces a view that all adult babies engage in sexual practice. This has profound implications for the lived experience of adult babies. It was for this reason that I undertook a part-time PhD researching adult babies, of which I am now, if all goes well, in my fourth and final year."

 

[BBBen]

Thank you @LittleBelleReturns .
The perspective of non sexual practise is very important. And iam thankful, that there so many good studies today, that seriously wants to look behind abdl.

Thank you again for sharing

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

Thank you so much for posting this. I'm so glad the author is sympathetic and is actually making an effort to understand us. That's a long paper, so it's going to take me a few days to get through it, but I already like what I'm reading, especially the paragraph below:

Reviewing the above, it appears clear how ABs are viewed in society, as something to be reviled and ridiculed. However, looking more closely it is asserted that academia and the media have more in common than initially apparent; both predominantly hold ABs as ‘other’ (Buber,1958; Hsieh & Shuster, 2021), as something to be objectified rather than understood. Othering is the process by which, either groups or individuals, are categorised as having characteristics which are deemed less important than others, the experience of which is to imbue a sense of rejection (Oni-Eseleh, 2021). Both academia and the media focus on behaviour, rather than understanding the drives and aetiology behind said actions. There also appears to be a mutual process of sensationalism, operating somewhere between fear and fascination.

I've come a long way in accepting my little side, and loving that little boy inside of me instead of hating him. But I'm still extremely afraid of someone discovering my secret and being outed, because I know that I would receive hate, scorn and ridicule for it. Just the other day I saw something in the media where the author made a joke with some obscure reference to adult babies. To the majority of society we are not seen with curiosity, sympathy or even pity, we are "othered" and seen as fair game for harassment and mockery.

I wonder, how would those same people treat the little 5 year old boy who felt emotionally neglected by his parents, who saw his younger siblings have diaper changes and wish he was back in diapers so he could feel loved again? How would those people react to the 7 year old boy who started secretly stealing some of those diapers and wearing them again? Or the 12 year old boy who kept a secret stash of diapers in his bedroom and wore them to make himself feel better, but at the same time feeling shame and hatred towards himself for being a freak and knowing he'd have to take this secret to the grave because he was the only one in the word who felt like this and no one else would ever understand? How would these people act if they caught one of their own children secretly wearing a diaper, would they call their child a pervert and make jokes at their expense?

I'm happy to see papers like these, and I long for the day when people look past the diapers and think about our mental/emotional health and well being, but society has a long way to go to get there. I don't expect that to happen in my lifetime.

 

[enigmatic]

I wonder, how would those same people treat the little 5 year old boy who felt emotionally neglected by his parents, who saw his younger siblings have diaper changes and wish he was back in diapers so he could feel loved again? How would those people react to the 7 year old boy who started secretly stealing some of those diapers and wearing them again? Or the 12 year old boy who kept a secret stash of diapers in his bedroom and wore them to make himself feel better, but at the same time feeling shame and hatred towards himself for being a freak and knowing he'd have to take this secret to the grave because he was the only one in the word who felt like this and no one else would ever understand? How would these people act if they caught one of their own children secretly wearing a diaper, would they call their child a pervert and make jokes at their expense?

Generally, the response would be therapy. That's not necessarily the wrong direction to take, but their reasoning for why it's necessarily would be based on a misunderstanding. If not therapy, then shame, which is obviously worse.

To most people, this stuff raises red flags. I imagine even more so for parents. From a psychological perspective concerning this stuff we're in the dark ages.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

Generally, the response would be therapy.

Better they think we need therapy than jail.

Therapy is probably a good idea for most people these days though, not just ABDLs.

That's not necessarily the wrong direction to take, but their reasoning for why it's necessarily would be based on a misunderstanding.

I assume you mean the incorrect assumption that we can somehow be "cured" of being ABDL.

From a psychological perspective concerning this stuff we're in the dark ages.

Agreed, which is why research like this is so important. I would love some more insight on it myself because I don't even fully understand it, and the theories I do have fall very short in explaining why I am the way I am, with such a strong desire to regress and wear diapers. I guess I'd just like some validation that there was a legitimate reason why my childhood development took the strange turn that it did, and I'd like those reasons to be acknowledged by others as well. I don't want to be "othered", I just want some compassion and understanding.

 

[enigmatic]

I assume you mean the incorrect assumption that we can somehow be "cured" of being ABDL.

No. I agree ABDL cannot be cured. What I meant by that is my nonprofessional anecdotal opinion that typically ABDL has some root in trauma. The trauma should be treated not the coping mechanism, such as ABDL.

 

[Cuddlewug]

I think this is Mummy Grace's PhD thesis (runs a AB nursery in the UK). Amazing piece of research!

 

[mistykitty]

No. I agree ABDL cannot be cured. What I meant by that is my nonprofessional anecdotal opinion that typically ABDL has some root in trauma. The trauma should be treated not the coping mechanism, such as ABDL.

Well said, this is exactly right. Treat the problem not the solution.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

So CBS can take the CSI episode "King Baby" and shove it up their...as can IMDb, for recklessly perpetuating it. It's about time someone set the record straight.

Now, let's work on "Autism & AB/DL: Causal or Acausal?"

 

[dogboy]

Yeah, King Baby did us another disservice. They did the same thing to furries.

 

[Woncrinklz]

I had a figuring some of the "visitors" here were doing a thesis on "us". All the odd questions I got out of the blue from strangers' couple years back...The inquiries were really mechanical and off-track to my head, sometimes invasive by some "visitors" that summoned my attention. Sure, some were predators, others..? Interesting. But also bothersomly detached and methodical. Nearly insulting.

I hope the portrayals from this individual are fair, and don't sabotage the "ABDL" situation. It's why labels are dangerous. Individuality is more important.
I like spaghetti, too, but I'm not "A spaghettian".

I hope it reads well. Because the dissection of any "group" is dangerous.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I like spaghetti, too, but I'm not "A spaghettian".

What ya say, mon? You're not a Pastafarian? You don't hang your colander next to your calendar? You're not a Ragu guru? Mon, you got to stand up for your right to pasta!

 

[Woncrinklz]

What ya say, mon? You're not a Pastafarian? You don't hang your colander next to your calendar? You're not a Ragu guru? Mon, you got to stand up for your right to pasta!

That's the point.

 

[Woncrinklz]

That's the point.

What if I hang my colander by my welcome mat, or closet, or car key hook? That's the thing.
I hope it covers many versions of people in the ABDL reality, and doesn't "can" those not sharing in some aspects of this lifestyle into the overall agreed upon typecasting in the group. There are sub-groups to every group that differentiate a person, but when a belief structure that is majority-wins, someone that likes to do something in the group gets categorized with all the belief structures within the newly found belief, which is limiting. Or it's hammer and nail time. That's all.
I worry about the protection of the individual of the whole.

 

[Drifter]

Despite the fact that there is an observable phenomenon responsible for things like ABDL desires and behaviors, few people, including those in the so called ABDL community, know about it or believe it or care about it. And for some reason it seems that most people, including some ABDLs, find it disgusting if there is some kind of sexual element involved. Imprinted characteristics, which is what ABDL desires are, can be sexual or nonsexual. Nature doesn't judge one to be good and the other to be evil, but our oversexed western society certainly does.

 

[Clothforever]

My reaction is that playing baby is what treats the trauma. My situation is that I misinterpreted toilet training as distancing and ultimate abandonment. These days, I wear diapers openly around my wife, and we talk about how I don’t have to give them up, to go back and undo my panic and vulnerability to anxiety.

In that context, a mostly vanilla wife becomes even supportive of her man as a baby.View attachment 127875View attachment 127876

Pins on disposables? Good concept. Was she always supportive? How often does she let you wear?

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Pins on disposables? Good concept. Was she always supportive? How often does she let you wear?

Until 1971, Pampers required diaper pins...then got tapes.

 

[PrincessNozomi]

Yes, glad to know more studies like this exist.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

Here is another section that really resonated with me:

5.9 The Non-Sexual Adult Baby as an Integral Aspect of Self

This theme emerged early in the interview and analysis processes, whereby all participants stated their AB configuration was an inherent aspect of self which could not be expunged. This finding is significant, especially when one considers the potential implications of societal and personal rejection in having an AB configuration, as we see in the quote below:

I’ve got past the ‘why do I do this?’ and all of its attendant hang-ups that go with doing something which you really don’t want anyone else knowing. It is professional suicide, ridicule, for people to think that you dress-up like this, and you behave like this. I don’t understand it, I just recognise that’s just part of who I am. It doesn’t define me, but it is an aspect of me (P7, p.3).

In the words above we recognise some of the struggles to accept this juvenile aspect of self. Clearly, P7 recognised the professional risk involved with their AB practice. However, it is equally as evident that they recognised that they did not know why they feel compelled to engage in it, nor at interview, did they feel they could cease their AB practice. P7 has undoubtedly engaged in a search for answers regarding their AB practice, moving past a questioning of “why” to something which felt akin to acceptance. But this acceptance comes with a proviso that this aspect of self must remain hidden to the world. Such bracketing of parts of ourselves may make the immediate situation tolerable, but a shame process remains; the fear of discovery, as described in the quote above, supporting this interpretation. This invites a larger questioning as to how one is directed to relate to this juvenile aspect of self, if the implicit messages one receives by society is that ABs are shameful (see The Non-Sexual Adult Baby and Society). This invites a deeper inquisition of whether the AB configuration is experienced as being ‘othered’ by society, inviting a curiosity around whether this, then, is experienced as a vilification of the self, and not just the AB configuration; I am ‘wrong.’ The quote above evidences how having an AB configuration makes life more burdensome in many ways, and eloquently illustrates how it would be far easier not to have a juvenile configuration, the cost, tangible or presumed, being social, personal and professional isolation. To have one’s life made more difficult by engaging in AB practice is strongly indicative that this is an inherent aspect of self, and not something subject to the whim of choice. When we consider the participant quotes below, we can appreciate the cost in having an AB configuration, their words adding metaphorical weight as to how much easier it would be not to:

I’ve got teddies and I’ve got dolls. But sometimes I’ll sit with them and think ‘you’re a grown-man and you’ve got dolls. What on Earth are you doing?’ So, it’s just you get this sort of internal angst and you know this, agonised over whether ‘should I be doing this, or should I be doing that?’

My adult baby side has always been with me, and even though I've gone years without wearing diapers at various stages of my life, the desire was always there, and I could never forget it for more than a few weeks at a time. And if I went too long without consciously thinking about diapers, especially during the times of my life when I actively tried to repress the desires, I would start to have dreams about diapers, dreams that often involved being forcibly put back into diapers and I would have no choice but to experience the fantasy I had tried to forget.

I've kept this aspect of myself hidden from the world, my wife is the only person on earth who knows I'm an adult baby. But I still have a fear of others discovering my secret, so even though I've accepted this part of me, mentally there's still some separation, still some distance in my mind between myself as an adult and my secret desires to wear diapers and become a baby again. I've been very open about my little self on this forum, and I've candidly discussed a lot of intimate details about my regression. I've posted about my love of wearing diapers, my love of being in wet diapers, and even how much I enjoy how little it makes me feel when I poop my diaper (something I've written about with surprisingly little shame when I think about how I would feel if anyone who knew me found out).

But it's still a part of myself that I have a hard time acknowledging as part of my identity, and I still struggle to type the phrase "I'm an adult baby". It's like my adult self tolerates my AB activities, but just sees it as something weird that I do, and at times is still asking himself "what on earth is a grown man doing wearing a diaper for fun?" It's as if adult me is still holding out hope that maybe one day I'll finally grow up and I won't have to do all of this anymore. There's some resistance to accepting that as part of my actual identity and discomfort in even looking at the words "I'm an adult baby", and my mind even shuts down a little bit as I keep staring at those words in disbelief, not fully understanding what those words mean.

But I do know that despite the social and emotional cost of having an adult baby side, and how much easier life might be if I didn't, it's an inherent part of me whether I want to completely acknowledge it or not. I'm a grown man with a teddy bear, but damnit I love that bear and I don't know how I ever used to sleep without him. And I'm going to keep wearing diapers, despite the risk it poses to my adult life, because the calming benefits of putting on a diaper is something I can't deny and I can't live without.

I would like for the internal struggle to go away, but I'm fine if it never does, because even though diapers are the cause of that struggle they're also the solution too. And the next time I put on a diaper and wear my baby clothes I'm just going to enjoy it and not overthink it.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

And it continues with this quote from a study participant:

… that age-old question of ‘if you took a pill and it [AB configuration] goes away, would you?’ And in all honesty I think I would, because of all the problems it’s created for me in the past (P9, p.17).

I wouldn't. At times in the past I thought I might, but I realize now no, I wouldn't get rid of it. I think that speaks to how ingrained the adult baby is in me. I try to imagine myself without the baby, without the diapers, and I just can't. Or if I do I don't recognize that person as me. I don't know who I would be without my little side, but I wouldn't be myself.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to wake up one day and get rid of all my baby stuff, not another purge, but because I just don't have a desire to use any of it anymore, and that scares me. The only thing that scares me more than the thought of people finding out I'm an adult baby is the thought of not being one anymore.