A PhD study on nonsexual/regressive adult babies

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

She doesn't seem to have a presence here. DPF is dead and DailyDiapers is a joke. Where else is there? Seems odd...

She still has a website, but her twitter seems to have been deleted. https://www.mummygrace.co.uk/

It doesn't look like she has much of an internet presence as a PM now, I assume she's trying to focus more on her new career in psychology.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

And yeah i can feel with you, that there is a deep sadness about that. Its like to realise, that we never ever could go back fully to the state of being cared as babies, although you have the inner need and longings for that state. Its a feeling to have lost something on your lifechances, whst you could be on the rest of your life.

That's that most cruel aspect of being an adult baby, that we desperately want what we can never have. Even those of us who have caregivers to nurture us at times, still don't have what we truly want. We'll never get a second chance at childhood. We'll never get to feel what it was like to grow up with the loving care that we didn't get as children.

As much as that sucks, I have a fairly good adult life. I'm mostly happy and I have a wife and kids who love me. Still, there's an emptiness I feel at times and when I think about it too much and how I'll never get what I want to makes me want to cry like a baby.

That's when I need to regress into little space. So I'll put on a diaper and onesie and grab my bear. It doesn't make it all better but it helps.

 

[Ian16545]

Very in-depth and relatable—I could tell.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

This post got so long I'm splitting it up into 3.

I'm 200 pages in (this is the longest research study I've ever read) and I'm up to Chapter 6 where she talks about her main theory, something she calls the Trauma Induced Age Regressive Process (TIARP). It is in summary, as the name suggests, that childhood trauma caused us to regress in order to self-soothe, regression being the only way we knew how to self-soothe as young children.

She gives 7 characteristics of TIARP:

1. the juvenile configuration is non-sexual
2. the adult is a survivor of some form of adverse childhood experience
3. the juvenile configuration is identified by the person at a young age
4. the juvenile configuration is not limited to infancy
5. the juvenile configuration is not limited to the same gender
6. the juvenile configuration is an integral aspect of self
7. the juvenile configuration and affect management

This was a short chapter, and I was kind of confused why she organized it how she did. She already introduced TIARP earlier in the paper and discussed the 7 characteristics. This chapter didn't seem to be a summary, even though she did revisit some of the earlier themes. She also refers to TIARP as a "framework", but I'm not quite sure what she means by that. She says:

The TIARP framework is intended to support clinical practice for therapists working with clients who present with distress regarding their AB configuration. Ergo, TIARP is not intended for use with members of the ABDL community for whom their AB practice is an enjoyable aspect of being.

That part confused me and makes it seem like the TIARP framework includes a type of therapy designed to reduce regressive behaviors, which it isn't, based on my reading so far. I disagree with the second sentence because I think her TIARP theory was very helpful in understanding my ABDL behavior, even though I don't want it to go away.

She continues:

It is intended that TIARP is positioned alongside traditional concepts of psychological understanding, holding that TIARP is not a disorder: TIARP is a highly skilful adaptive survival mechanism. Therefore, TIARP is presented with a view it will support clinical understanding, but it is not presented with any intention to frame ABs within a pathological domain. Moreover, it is not an intention of this study that TIARP will be employed to ameliorate AB behaviours, but it is recognised said practices may organically abate with adroit therapeutic intervention.

I kind of disagree with this part. It seems like psychologists are way too careful these days to try to not hurt anyone's feelings. As much as I hate the way we're portrayed in media, I'll be the first to admit, ABDL is weird. It's very uncommon, which meets the statistical requirement for a disorder.

Also, many if not most psychological survival mechanisms are negative, so just calling it one isn't an argument against ABDL being pathological, and she doesn't give an actual argument here. In fact the very definition of pathological is "of, relating to, or manifesting behavior that is habitual, maladaptive, and compulsive." ABDL is definitely habitual and compulsive. It's also maladaptive in that we failed to adapt to adulthood and still have compulsive desires to regress.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

2/3:

I also think it's interesting that she calls it a survival mechanism, when earlier in the paper she seemed to be against calling it a coping mechanism:

The quote below introduces a new consideration, of how framing AB as a “coping mechanism” (in relation to the AB configuration) is experienced:

My problem with ‘coping mechanism’ like, that term, is… I self-harmed; coping mechanism. I draw; coping mechanism. Being Little, being playing, like not playing, but acting younger, is it a coping mechanism? I don’t know. It makes me feel safer. Now if that’s what a coping mechanism is, well fine, but if it isn’t, I wouldn’t necessarily say that self-harm was something that made me feel safer. It made me feel in control. Yes. Do you see the problem with calling it a coping mechanism? (P5, p.7).

The quote above provides an illuminating view of the impact of unhelpful terminology, and a reminder of how our histories are the lenses through with we view the present. Though the quote above is more than that, identifying subtle, yet significant, differences between processes which superficially appear similar; self-harm and the AB configuration, as coping mechanisms to support affective states.

I've never known what to call my ABDL tendencies. I can't call it a fetish or kink because that implies that it's sexual and for me it isn't. I've called it a coping mechanism in the past because I didn't know what else to call it, but as in the quote above, it feels wrong to call diapers a coping mechanism in the same way that cutting is a coping mechanism.

My other issue with calling it a coping mechanism, and one that the paper might have missed entirely, is that other coping mechanisms don't seem to form part of a person's identity. I've never seen anyone, whether the person who engages in it or a mental health professional, refer to self-harm as an identity. Where as with ABDL we all seem to feel that in addition to our identity as adults, we all have a part of us who is still a child and needs us to regress in order to meet that child's needs.

Even point 6 of the author's TIARP framework is "the juvenile configuration is an integral aspect of self", so it seems like she missed something and/or isn't consistent in her explanation of her theory and findings.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

3/3:

So back to the discussion of pathology. Some might argue that the only reason ABDL is negative is because we're not accepted by society. Even if society fully accepted ABDLs and didn't "other" them in the media, there still seems to be some negatives to the non-sexual ABDL lifestyle that could be considered a disorder.

A big negative is the obsessive-compulsive nature of ABDL behavior. Many of us have experienced times when we are constantly thinking about diapers and regression. These thoughts have interfered with our daily adult activities, and while diapers alone may not be enough for a diagnosis of OCD, the sometimes constant thoughts of diapers that won't go away, even while wearing them, seems deserve the label of disorder.

Many of us have desired to wear diapers 24/7, despite the negative consequences (as we keep being reminded by the incontinent members). Many of us have desired to actually be incontinent so we had no choice but to wear diapers 24/7, and a few individuals have taken steps to un-potty train to make this desire a reality. Even though I admit to having those thoughts myself in the past, I also admit that those desires are unhealthy.

And maybe the worst thing, as I posted about previously, is the fact that we are cursed with a strong desire for what we will never have. As much as we try to make our regression authentic, we will never be those children we once were. There is always going to be that hole in our hearts that we try to, but never quite manage to fill.

Given all that I don't have a problem with calling ABDL a disorder, with one stipulation. It's a disorder similar to how autism is a disorder. It can be treated, but not cured. It's not wholly negative, and parts of it form part of our identity.

 

[BBBen]

Thank you for this good 3 parts @blissfullyquirky . I think we all have problems to say, that we have a disorder. In a society where its the best to be the strongest and higher, further and better is proclaimed - dosorder sounds like: this person has failed in life.
Drawer open, drawer close. Society has problem with having problems, disorders, disseas, negative feelings, diffrence.. (dont want to put ab in a bad corner)
for me my abdl side was long false inrerpreted as: you are failed. You need being an adult baby. And before you need diapers for sexual aruse... And then comes the moral and religious aspect: its wrong to like diapers. God has something diffrent for your life. Try to resist... abdl isnt good... its a sin..its a demon (these are terms in your own mind to say - yeah i wouldnt identify with my own feelings and needs - i am not a person which loves diapers - its a bad power who put it in me ... )
But why is it so hard to say, this is a part of me and my being?
and i think one of the aspects is, yourself say: iam not strong with abdl, iam abnormal and iam strange - with abdl side i couldnt be part of the society.

But thqts completly wrong. There are many other persons which are successful and have reached many goals in society, but have disorders are disabled... but as i said before, i wouldnt do abdl in a negative cornet. It also can be a positive thing and power others didnt have.

Have to do a break for work, but for now these are my two pence

 

[mightytoddler]

Mommy and I are A sexual there’s no sex stuff ever . Some find it hard to believe as so many lives surround sex . It’s not a part of my life at all . Long ago after my auto accident all the nerve going down there were cut from the spinal cord I can’t feel anything there . They suggested taking Pavrin shots straight in my dingy to make it work NO ! I don’t miss any of that stuff toddlers don’t do any of that adult stuff

 

[mightytoddler]

OMG I read some of this it’s wonderful . It’s going to take a while to read 300+ pages . Soooo glad someone finally understands we’re not freaks or some sexual predators at all .

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

I think we all have problems to say, that we have a disorder. In a society where its the best to be the strongest and higher, further and better is proclaimed - dosorder sounds like: this person has failed in life.

Yes, even though society's attitudes towards mental health are a lot more compassionate than they used to be, there is still some stigma attached to the word "disorder". And even though I'm okay with thinking of ABDL as a disorder in the abstract, when I think of the details it gets a little more emotional. I have a hard time calling my attachment to my teddy bear a disorder because of how much I've benefitted from having him. The only negatives I can see is that I've violated society's stereotypical expectations for how a man should behave (and I don't have much distress over that) and how sad I would be if I lost him (which doesn't really seem to be a good argument against having him either).

for me my abdl side was long false inrerpreted as: you are failed. You need being an adult baby. And before you need diapers for sexual aruse... And then comes the moral and religious aspect: its wrong to like diapers. God has something diffrent for your life. Try to resist... abdl isnt good... its a sin..its a demon (these are terms in your own mind to say - yeah i wouldnt identify with my own feelings and needs - i am not a person which loves diapers - its a bad power who put it in me ... )

I've felt that way a lot in the past. For a lot of my childhood I saw ABDL as a sinful desire to be overcome, and that was without having any sexual arousal involved at all. I never told anyone about my desire to wear diapers. I knew it was weird and I knew other people wouldn't understand. It was something I knew I had to keep a secret, and that must mean it was sinful. In reality my wearing diapers in secret as a child was all very innocent, as was my desire to regress and be a baby again, but it would take many years after I became an adult to realize that and then it took even longer to stop seeing myself as a bad person because I had those desires.

But why is it so hard to say, this is a part of me and my being?
and i think one of the aspects is, yourself say: iam not strong with abdl, iam abnormal and iam strange - with abdl side i couldnt be part of the society.

It's the last 2. I'm okay with it inside, but when I say it or type it that's making it part of my identity. And that causes thoughts of being socially shunned or ridiculed. So now it's not that I'm ashamed of my little side and want to keep him hidden, it's more that I keep him hidden to protect him from teasing and abuse. And it's not enough to just not tell anyone about it, it's that if I don't identify as ABDL even to myself then I can't tell anyone because it's almost a secret from me too.

i wouldnt do abdl in a negative cornet. It also can be a positive thing and power others didnt have.

As we've discussed, and like the study said, it can be a very good way for us to self-soothe. I sometimes even feel sorry for non-ABDLs that they don't have diapers as a way to deal with the stressors of adult life.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

Took a few weeks off, but I'm back to reading this again. Some more good parts:

When one considers the implications of being an AB and how ABs are received in society, as something to be reviled and ridiculed, the risk of professional disgrace, the jeopardy of losing relatives and loved ones, the implications are clear; the need, or gratification, is so profound as to be experienced as worth the risk of social, personal, professional humiliation and exclusion.

For most of us there is a risk in being adult babies. The comfort we get from regression often outweighs that risk, but risk is still there and for me I find it ruins the experience sometimes.

It appears significant that the mechanism which supports affect moderation, the juvenile configuration, may itself promote experiences of relational disconnection (see Chapter Two). This interplay, of affect moderation, the juvenile configuration and relational connection/disconnection is described in the quote below:

The risk [in disclosing their AB configuration to loved ones] is that they would be, there’s the risk that they might tell lots of other people for starters. The risk that they may might lose any kind of respect for me as a person, that they might be horrified, that they, you know, that might be disgusted by my inclinations.

The discomfort in the words above is palpable, evidencing a double-bind in having a mechanism to self-soothe and moderate affect is, itself, a cause of distress.

Diapers help reduce stress, but they also cause stress. I would love to be able to be little without worrying about getting caught and people finding out.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

ABDL can be similar to addiction:

Nevertheless, it is a consideration that the affective relief TIARP is so profound, until appropriately supported, it may be considered analogous to the gratifications found in addiction, as described in the quote below and expanded upon in the following section:

even being adult baby as being a type of addiction, and I don’t mean that as a dirty word, but because when you think of addiction you think of bad things, but I do view it as a form of addiction. It’s one of those things that, when you’re in the fold of doing it you kind of want it more and more.

I think we've all felt those feelings of wanting more and more little space time, and wished we could be diapered 24/7. It's like an addiction in that you can never seem to get enough.

She writes more about it being a coping mechanism:

It is a contention of this research that the regressive AB configuration is itself a form of coping device which helps moderate unbearable feelings, analogous to the self regulatory behaviours outlined above. Self-soothing behaviours which emerge in childhood as a result of chronic trauma, may become ingrained in adulthood (Hawkins, 2005). These behaviours, where the original rationale for the behaviour in childhood is associated with affect moderation, may endure into adulthood and is presented here in recognition of how early coping mechanisms are tenacious.

And then more comparing it to an addiction:

It is a contention of this research that the regressive configuration moderates affect, similar to the affective relief experienced in addiction. Addiction is defined as a state of dependence on a chemical substance, and is a recognised mechanism to moderate anxiety. This, then, invites a consideration of the impact of neurotransmitter gratification, such as oxytocin and dopamine. There is a profound connection between the neurochemicals involved in social attachment and addiction and/or compulsive behaviours. Neurochemicals are central to substance gratification and there is an intersection between attachment, personality organisation, substance use and affect regulation.

Despite the similarities, I wouldn't call ABDL an addiction, I think it's more accurate to compare it to falling in love with someone (and most people don't see that as an addiction). Only in the case of ABDLs, we're feeling love towards and caring for our traumatized child self. And our little self is feeling that love, and it makes us happy. To a non-ABDL that might sound kind of narcissistic, but it isn't.

 

[dogboy]

This may apply to some AB/DLs but not all. Many of us live alone and that enables us to keep it a complete secret from others. Most of us on this site have said that they feel no real need to tell others that they either like or psychologically need to wear diapers. Some members however have expressed a desire to be found out, so we are indeed complicated.

I also question that many or some of us are AB/DL because of trauma or abuse. I wouldn't be surprised if all of us experience various kinds of trauma and abuse, not from parents and family, but because it's a cruel world. Yet the vast majority of people are not AB/DL. I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't a set of circumstances which happened to us at very early age that contributes to regression, because even if one doesn't think they regress, wanting to wear diapers, drink from a baby bottle, wear a onesie, etc. enables the participant to identify themselves to the age of an infant or toddler.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

One of the previous sections about addiction/coping mechanisms had this line:

Further, this finding, that unbearable affect is mitigated by the regressive AB process, may be why the juvenile configuration is experienced as an inherent aspect of self;

I might have missed it, but I don't think she gave a good explanation for why ABDL forms such a strong part of our identity and coping mechanisms like drugs, alcohol or self-harm don't. I wish she had spent more time on that question, but I have theory myself. People use drugs and alcohol to try to numb the pain of trauma by escaping from reality. They want to forget. When we enter little space we're not trying to escape our childhood trauma, we're trying to heal it. We're trying to care for that child part of us that didn't get the love and care a child needs.

You wouldn't care for a child by giving him alcohol, you care for a young child with diapers and baby things. So when we care for ourselves this way it makes us feel loved, and as we love and accept our little side that child part of us becomes part of our adult identity.

But that child part of us doesn't grow up and still needs care. Our "inner child" isn't as integrated with our adult self as it is in a non-ABDL person, and it likely never will be, given that few if any ABDLs are ever "cured" of those desires. I'm not quite sure what that means for us as adults, but my suspicion is that we'll never be completely healed of those emotional scars from childhood, and that we'll always need diapers in one way or another.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

I also question that many or some of us are AB/DL because of trauma or abuse. I wouldn't be surprised if all of us experience various kinds of trauma and abuse, not from parents and family, but because it's a cruel world. Yet the vast majority of people are not AB/DL.

I used to think that because I wasn't sexually abused as a child that I didn't have a good "excuse" for wanting to wear diapers, but trauma takes many forms, and what's traumatizing to one child may not be to another. With my own kids, one really likes roller coasters and another is terrified by them, so a lot of it depends on personality. I think that as children we were more sensitive than most, and things that didn't bother other kids caused us a lot of distress.

I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't a set of circumstances which happened to us at very early age that contributes to regression, because even if one doesn't think they regress, wanting to wear diapers, drink from a baby bottle, wear a onesie, etc. enables the participant to identify themselves to the age of an infant or toddler.

I agree, and I wish there was more research on that because I'm very curious about what circumstances leads to this. It's such a rare and weird thing that it seems like there must be some unique scenarios we went through that caused this.

 

[BBBen]

Thank you @blissfullyquirky for that good update. As you said, there should be more research to the circumstances with categorization and naming.

To the word addiction: its that, why many of us see in their feelings some kind of a demon. If you are addicted, you are half on the way of harming yourself till destroying yourself.

Compare to drugs and alcohol, its realy a kind of a demon if you are addicted.
But compares to abdl, it could be a form of selfhealing and selfcare and that isnt a demon but a little child which needs your love.

This is the most important think i had to learn in the last 6 to 7 years. Ofcourse, some forms of caring could create traumata aswell. If somebody is too offensive he could loose job, family and friends. He could loose the contact to his adult life. Thats why i always speak about balance and juggling.

But also i think you have to create safe spaces to let your inner little fully out. He/she/it is adorable becaus it is yourself like the adult in you aswell.

At all, it is like evrything else: Finding a healthy way to care for you and your needs, but also dont loose contact to your life within all lifes in the world.

Thank you again @blissfullyquirky

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

Compare to drugs and alcohol, its realy a kind of a demon if you are addicted.
But compares to abdl, it could be a form of selfhealing and selfcare and that isnt a demon but a little child which needs your love.

I like the way you said that. The sad thing is that many ABs, myself included, treat their AB side as a demon for many years until they finally find self-acceptance and become more compassionate and loving towards their little side.

For many years I had regret that I was ABDL, but now my only regret is that I took so long to learn how to love and accept my inner child.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

She writes more about us keeping this a secret:

One of the questions raised in this research is why ABs, particularly nonsexual ABs, are not encountered in the wider world. Open the door of any suitable website and one will find thousands of people who identify as ABs (FetLife, 2022). This invites a questioning as to why ABs are a hidden community. ABs come from all walks of life, from plumbers and comedians to doctors, pilots and world-changing statisticians. These people are unseen because they are able to moderate their distress in such ways as to be unknown to the vast majority of services. Further, there is an added risk for any AB brave enough to reach-out and seek help – societal rejection.

We're all a little messed up, but diapers help us cope and because of that most of us have become quite successful adults. We don't have such poor mental health that we end up making our secret public. There are a lot of us out there, and we've been around for a long time as the next part explains:

Pandita-Gunawardena’s (1990) case study gives an account of an 80-year-old man who started evidencing regressive AB behaviours following a head injury at age six. Whilst his practice did not come to the attention of services until his later years, due to a change in his living circumstances, the client’s AB behaviour was identified as having started circa 1916. Therefore, Pandita-Gunawardena’s (1990) paper evidences how ABs have been present, but not clinically recognised, for over a hundred years.

It must have been very lonely to have been AB in the days before the internet. I spent my entire childhood and teen years thinking I was the only one. I'm very glad we have these online communities, even though most of us are still anonymous, as she goes on to talk about:

That all research participants stated that their ABDL practice was not expressed overtly, for fear of how the regressive configuration would be received, lends credence to this view. Whilst this understandable need to hide brings short-term relief, in the form of not being ‘outed,’ there is another, broader, effect; by the individual trying to ensure their safety, which obscures how prevalent the AB process is, perpetuating a view that they are idiosyncratic. Further, such necessary camouflage allows for the proliferation of falsehoods.

We are very obscure, but we have to hide for our own safety. Even when I wasn't accepting of my little side, I still knew I had to hide him and keep him safe, because he is a part of me and his safety is my safety.

But even though we're hiding in the shadows, we're still here.

This is presented here in recognition that ABs are a pervasive phenomenon, who, because of societal norms and fear of judgement, have been forced to reside incognito - but that does not mean they are not there. This view is echoed in the participant quote below:

We walk among you.

This part made me smile. "We walk among you" sounds like something a group of vampires would say, and maybe if the average person knew how many of us there were walking around hidden, they might be a little freaked out. But thinking of all of us walking around in public every day wearing adult diapers with baby prints under our clothes, and some of those diapers being quite wet too , it's such the polar opposite of vampires that it makes me laugh. As much as I hate having to hide that part of myself out of fear, thinking about it in terms of a secret identity that no one else knows makes me feel kind of special.

 

[dogboy]

One of the previous sections about addiction/coping mechanisms had this line:

I might have missed it, but I don't think she gave a good explanation for why ABDL forms such a strong part of our identity and coping mechanisms like drugs, alcohol or self-harm don't. I wish she had spent more time on that question, but I have theory myself. People use drugs and alcohol to try to numb the pain of trauma by escaping from reality. They want to forget. When we enter little space we're not trying to escape our childhood trauma, we're trying to heal it. We're trying to care for that child part of us that didn't get the love and care a child needs.

You wouldn't care for a child by giving him alcohol, you care for a young child with diapers and baby things. So when we care for ourselves this way it makes us feel loved, and as we love and accept our little side that child part of us becomes part of our adult identity.

But that child part of us doesn't grow up and still needs care. Our "inner child" isn't as integrated with our adult self as it is in a non-ABDL person, and it likely never will be, given that few if any ABDLs are ever "cured" of those desires. I'm not quite sure what that means for us as adults, but my suspicion is that we'll never be completely healed of those emotional scars from childhood, and that we'll always need diapers in one way or another.

I took my share of drugs throughout college. I got to the point where I couldn't live without pot. As many of you know, I had identified as gay at that point in my life and it was dangerous to be with another guy in the late '60s. There were some in my life that I dearly loved but they were straight and it was painful to be with them, yet that was all I wanted to do, to be with them every minute. I was in such pain.

So smoking pot and taking almost any drug that was offered to me was a way for me to dull the pain. But I also had a death wish because living my life was at that time, unbearable. I had a psychotic break my senior year. My mom searched my room and found my gay porn and makeshift diapers. She sent me to a large residential mental facility outside Princeton where I had to talk about diapers and homosexuality. He also gave me a suicide card, his personal home phone number.

So I've often felt that my drug addiction was my way of finding a means to a slow suicide. I genuinely wanted to die. I always wanted to be back in diapers but actually doing it was another way of escaping the pain of reality and all the pressure that comes with being a person living in this world. The diaper desires were always there, but they were and are a means to escape the pain in this world and return to a time when those pressures weren't there because I was too young to know about them, and all my cares and frustrations were soothed by my wonderful and loving parents.

 

[BlankieLover]

I came across this PhD thesis about nonsexual regressive adult babies by a British Psychotherapist who works specifically with littles to help them accept themselves and thought you all might want to have a read! She also wrote this article. - https://www.the-pca.org.uk/blog/adultbaby.html

https://chesterrep.openrepository.com/bitstream/handle/10034/627663/Fifth Draft Complete Thesis.pdf?

Disclaimer: I have only had a flick through and not had time to read yet, and probably won't for a while, but I know the author is an ally!

Here is a quote from her short article I linked:

"Unless one is immersed in the ABDL community, information about this group comes from two main sources; academic journals and from Main Stream Media (MSM). What appears to be common for both sources are a lack of consistency, general misinformation and misrepresentation. TV and MSM proffer salacious views of adult babies (Attack of the Adult Babies (2017) - IMDb, n.d). Representations of adult babies which focus on sexual practice are confirmed in academia, perpetuating a view of non-sexual adult baby practice as a paraphilia (Banbury et al., 2017). Clearly, this is inaccurate, non-sexual behaviour being impossible to be categorised as a paraphilia. However, when society looks to academia on how to regard adult babies and finds such literature, it reinforces a view that all adult babies engage in sexual practice. This has profound implications for the lived experience of adult babies. It was for this reason that I undertook a part-time PhD researching adult babies, of which I am now, if all goes well, in my fourth and final year."

I know her well and she was the first AB Mummy experience I had.