"You make us look bad"

[Trevor]

The difference is leather/bondage is a common fetish that a lot of people know exists. The comparison to AB/DL's just isn't there.

It didn't spring well known and fully formed from the forehead of Zeus. I'm not advocating that we publicize it but I'm not horrified if it happens. In fact, I'm resigned to its profile being raised. In an information economy that leverages the power of individuals to speak up, the fringe is going to become much more well known by those who are paying attention.

 

[giantguy99]

I think you made some good points in your post (in the thread, really) but this was the bit that caught my eye for additional comments. For the sake of clarity, this is the fellow we're talking about in Utah: http://www.deseretnews.com/article/...aper-Boy-unusual-but-not-criminal.html?pg=all. From the information in the story, I would say there's a pretty good chance he's a pervert and I'm surprised that the sentence was reversed. So what we have here is a not very good legal case for exposing your diaper in public in a conservative state and still he prevailed. It's irrelevant what was in his heart and mind in this case, the behavior was deemed unusual but not criminal. If this is just unusual, then how can someone just minding their own business in big baby clothes possibly be as bad (or worse)?

With all due respect but did you check the credibility of that site where you found that link? You see I was researching this case last year and what I heard was way different from what that link above claims. You see according to the supreme court records that I believe where made public it said that Bagnes was actually approached by the 2 children while he was posting flyers trying to raise awareness about AB/DL's. Bagnes never did drop his pants like that link says he did. I am not entirely sure that link is credible actually since it's potentially biased. Why? Because the supreme court (I think though not 100% sure since it's been a while since I saw that information) might have made part of that case public to help protect him. You see people who are falsely accused of being "perverts" like him could be targeted for that so they made the facts known to the general public to help protect him. Unfortunately that does not mean that potentially unreliable sites like Deseret News ( I said potentially I am not sure yet) are not going to change things up to improve ratings or something like that.

No I am not saying you are lying Trevor(nor am I attacking you either). I am genuinely confused because of the sources of information I used at least appeared to have come from the Supreme Court that overturned his conviction appear to contradict what was being said by Deseret News on that link above. It's a lot easier to make the mistake of assuming that something is credible then one would think actually. Please do not be offended. I am going to talk to a moderator actually to help me dig that information up I think because it was a long time ago and I can't be sure after so long anyways. Please be advised I have to look this up again so by all means take what I said with a grain of salt actually. I just don't think it's wise to assume credibility from something without at least looking into it's accuracy first due to the controversial nature of this thread that's all.

 

[MetalMann]

I agree when people get their sexual kicks from exposing themselves in public is distasteful.

However when people do something on television, I really don't care because it's an option to not watch if you don't desire to. It feels somewhat hypocritical to judge them as we do. Mostly because it doesn't totally portray you and your interests. People are who they are and it's not really our place to criticize them as if they are alien to us.

 

[Trevor]

With all due respect but did you check the credibility of that site where you found that link? You see I was researching this case last year and what I heard was way different from what that link above claims. You see according to the supreme court records that I believe where made public it said that Bagnes was actually approached by the 2 children while he was posting flyers trying to raise awareness about AB/DL's. Bagnes never did drop his pants like that link says he did. I am not entirely sure that link is credible actually since it's potentially biased. Why? Because the supreme court (I think though not 100% sure since it's been a while since I saw that information) might have made part of that case public to help protect him. You see people who are falsely accused of being "perverts" like him could be targeted for that so they made the facts known to the general public to help protect him. Unfortunately that does not mean that potentially unreliable sites like Deseret News ( I said potentially I am not sure yet) are not going to change things up to improve ratings or something like that.

No I am not saying you are lying Trevor(nor am I attacking you either). I am genuinely confused because of the sources of information I used at least appeared to have come from the Supreme Court that overturned his conviction appear to contradict what was being said by Deseret News on that link above. It's a lot easier to make the mistake of assuming that something is credible then one would think actually. Please do not be offended. I am going to talk to a moderator actually to help me dig that information up I think because it was a long time ago and I can't be sure after so long anyways. Please be advised I have to look this up again so by all means take what I said with a grain of salt actually. I just don't think it's wise to assume credibility from something without at least looking into it's accuracy first due to the controversial nature of this thread that's all.

You can provide a different, credible reference but I don't see that it makes that much difference to this thread. He was engaged in dicey behavior with diapers in public and the sentence was reversed. Unless the other credible source indicates that he was sitting at home, minding his own business in a curtained room while diapered and the police burst in and arrested him, I don't think it's material here. In the future, save yourself the time of a lengthy speculative response and put out the reference and let it get sorted.

 

[Calico]

It's interesting how the facts can get twisted in the media like the time the lady spilled the hot cup of coffee on herself and sued Mickey Ds and got millions of dollars. That was actually not accurate. Same as for the Susan Smith case or the case about a man suing the Telephone company for getting hit by a drunk driver while he was using one of their phone booths.

 

[CrazySmoker]

So one more... I've nothing if someone want doing something ridiculous. The thing is in don't put angry other, because stinky. And I write stinky, not ABDL people only, can you see what includes that ?

 

[giantguy99]

It's interesting how the facts can get twisted in the media like the time the lady spilled the hot cup of coffee on herself and sued Mickey Ds and got millions of dollars. That was actually not accurate. Same as for the Susan Smith case or the case about a man suing the Telephone company for getting hit by a drunk driver while he was using one of their phone booths.

Yeah I know. It's amazing what people will assume to be the truth when they hear something on the internet. There's a reason why it's not advisable to believe everything we see on TV or the internet after all. I simply never use unreliable information like that link above because of all the outright libel and slander that most people don't realize is out there. Ironically that "pervert" as some people are surely assuming that Bagnes is might not even be sexually motivated by wearing diapers actually. For all we know Bagnes may very well have never dropped his pants and only lifted his shirt which certainly does not mean indecent exposure of any kind. We simply don't have enough information to work with because this thread is titled "You make us look bad" for a reason right? It's assumptions that do more of that kind of damage then people's behavior ironically which is why AB/DL's are so misunderstood.

 

[BabyMitchy]

I think what we are forgetting is that as an AB / DL it can be very hard feeling alone like you are the only one like yourself in the world. It makes you feel bad and wrong. Then when you try to share it with someone to make yourself not feel so alone, it can backfire with terrible results. This is why I chose to be open about AB/DL. You may be fine, and I don't advocate doing every little thing publicly, but many people out there can benefit by being made aware that AB / DL is a very real thing that you can work into your life. The only way I see of helping many of these people out is by being somewhat public, speaking out about AB / DL needs and desires.

I can tell you for a fact, I have received hundreds of e-mails of people thanking me for showing them that being AB or DL is not "bad" or "wrong" and that you can balance it in your life.

I agree wholeheartedly that some things are best left private. But the good I have done far outweighs the bad in my mind.

My conscience is clear.

[video=youtube;xj02Tjd9oKo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj02Tjd9oKo[/video]

 

[SuperRaiUniverse]

So many interesting videos and articles shared in this thread! What a great read for keeping informed on these issues.

 

[ArchieRoni]

I think what we are forgetting is that as an AB / DL it can be very hard feeling alone like you are the only one like yourself in the world. It makes you feel bad and wrong. Then when you try to share it with someone to make yourself not feel so alone, it can backfire with terrible results. This is why I chose to be open about AB/DL. You may be fine, and I don't advocate doing every little thing publicly, but many people out there can benefit by being made aware that AB / DL is a very real thing that you can work into your life. The only way I see of helping many of these people out is by being somewhat public, speaking out about AB / DL needs and desires.

I think this is a really good point. It's weird how people's minds work, and I think it can be a huge burden to carry around a secret. When people say that something is okay, but one shouldn't tell anyone else, it can be hard to believe them and easy to start to feel like one's secret really is bad.

This is good food for thought and makes me more sympathetic to people that decide to live more openly as ABDLs, even though it's not something I would choose to do.

 

[irnub]

When people say that something is okay, but one shouldn't tell anyone else, it can be hard to believe them and easy to start to feel like one's secret really is bad.

Or it could just mean that the "secret" is TMI and will make others feel uncomfortable if you go blurting it everywhere. There are different levels of conversation that are considered appropriate for different levels of knowing somebody. To use a non-fetish example: if a random stranger came by and started telling you about their struggles with athletes foot and taking their shoes off to show you some weird looking fungus, that would be inappropriate. If that same stranger instead mentions that it's a nice day and better than yesterday when it rained and they had to walk to the bus without an umbrella, that's fine and appropriate conversation for that level of acquaintance.

 

[ArchieRoni]

Or it could just mean that the "secret" is TMI and will make others feel uncomfortable if you go blurting it everywhere. There are different levels of conversation that are considered appropriate for different levels of knowing somebody. To use a non-fetish example: if a random stranger came by and started telling you about their struggles with athletes foot and taking their shoes off to show you some weird looking fungus, that would be inappropriate. If that same stranger instead mentions that it's a nice day and better than yesterday when it rained and they had to walk to the bus without an umbrella, that's fine and appropriate conversation for that level of acquaintance.

Totally agree. Sometimes the advice for diapers though is "don't tell anyone, not even the people you trust most that you love." That's what I was talking about.

 

[Fire2box]

Totally agree. Sometimes the advice for diapers though is "don't tell anyone, not even the people you trust most that you love." That's what I was talking about.

yes, take it to your grave. Hell, take everything to your grave let no one in! Right? :laugh:

 

[giantguy99]

yes, take it to your grave. Hell, take everything to your grave let no one in! Right? :laugh:

Well considering the reality that grave could very well be a early one for some (most likely due to suicide) I would say yes that's what's unintentionally being encouraged regardless of anyone's good intentions in certain cases actually. Please keep in mind I believe that this mistake was well intentioned though as far as people saying we should not talk about this to anyone else ever fyi. It's just not a healthy thing to not talk about this either. There is a appropriate time and place for someone to tell someone else that they are AB/DL after all. Just a fyi those appropriate times and places do not include all times,people, or places but they do exist.

You see most people forget that while there's nothing subjectively wrong with being a AB/DL it can result in causing a problem indirectly. How does this happen? Well I don't consider being a AB/DL a problem but it does require at least a little extra work to prevent it from becoming one at some point most likely. If ignoring the desire to wear diapers was healthy sites like this would not even have a reason to exist after(and we all know nothing can further from the truth). So how does one get the help they need to prevent this from becoming a problem? Well by talking to other's who have found that balance in their lives. Here's where encouraging the notion to never tell even those someone loves becomes problematic. This issue does make us all look bad sadly at least as far as worsening the isolation is concerned.

 

[dogboy]

This is why I love this site, and just as you suggested, accepted, we can talk about our enjoyment of diapers here. It's probably the safest outlet, given all the possible choices. Your right again that having an outlet with other like minded people makes it easier to live with.

 

[Penny]

Everyone's personal journey is different and what may be right or normal for one person may be wrong or insane for another so I do completely agree on the point that we need to accept each other.

Sure some people take it too far but you know what and I'm only speaking for me here, more power to them. If you want to walk around in a diaper and a Onsie in public it's your life, it's your right and it's your choice to do so. If legal, moral or reputational problems arise then I would hope that they were already taken into consideration but the bottom line is it doesn't affect me.

I'm happy to do it in private but as a transgendered, adult baby, lesbian Muslim I don't think I'm in any position to judge anyone for anything so my personal stand point is "your life, your buisness."

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

People need to stop comparing adult babies and diaper lovers to gay rights. There is absolutely no correlation. Some people need to face that AB/DL will never be fully accepted by the public. What is wrong with keeping your fetish to yourself? Why do random people on the street need to know about you being an adult baby? The answer is nobody does.

A few things I'd like to say. In order for us to keep our fetish to ourselves, it must first be a fetish, and for some, guess what. It's not! I wish people would see that there's more than one form.

That being said, I'd be in quite a pickle without a few fetisist friends. A lot of emotional work gets done for when I get the chance to stop pushing my Little side down, and without a fetish checklist, I wouldn't know what wasn't okay with me, and could be easily hurt. I'm glad there's enough alike about us that we can share information and support.

You know, up until fairly recently, transgender (a matter of identity and at the core of one's being) was seen as no different than a man getting his kicks out of dressing in women's clothes. Same for women in men's clothes. The difference between gender and sexuality wasn't understood either. The understanding has shifted now, but only because enough people supported each other, alike or different, and spoke up for the world to recognize the difference.

No one is saying that the rights of the transgendered and gay communities, respectively, are the same, but I'll tell you this, being AB sure has helped me understand a family member's male-to-female girlfriend better, because both the girlfriend and I know what it's like to have to push part of ourselves down to please folks. Her mom's gotta die before she gets her surgery. Lucky for me, I'm gender secure.

I'm lucky enough to have a mom who's truly and authentically weird. I'm wearing my footies now, and she doesn't mind. She has an Eeore pair of her own, but diapers, bottles, aci:s, nope. Gotta wait 'til I move. Lest ye think it's genetic, no, she's not AB, and I'm adopted.:lol: I do have IC issues, but not bad enough to warrant full paddedness.

I've said before that most ABDLs tend to do the bare minimum required to be okay in our own skin. I'm not overt. My bare minimum is, "Hello, small comfort item. Meet shirt pocket. I'll be reaching for you though him if I need you." Maybe I'll wear the Eeore or Kermit shirts I got at Walmart, and keep my lovey in a pant or skirt pocket.

Also, if one can't tell what he or she is looking at, he or she shouldn't judge it harshly. Maybe the person out in public with a snap-shoulder shirt has an inter veinous port near the collar bone, and the snaps are for easy access. I do hope that person is wearing pants, or a skirt though, that's decency. Wanna poo? Having a bad muscle day and can't help it? Fine! Take an internal deodorant tablet and keep it up 'till it kicks in! Nobody else wants to smell you! Need to change position to go? Make funny noises or faces when you do? Fine! Create a safe zone by attaching a pop up changing room to the back of your vehicle. No one wants to know you're going on yourself!

 

[Milko]

Gender and sexual orientation are complex parts of personal identity that are at the human core. One's desire to dress like a baby and wear diapers is not, at least not in the same way.

For some people it isn't, for some it is. Not everyone is the same.

- - - Updated - - -

People need to stop comparing adult babies and diaper lovers to gay rights. There is absolutely no correlation. Some people need to face that AB/DL will never be fully accepted by the public. What is wrong with keeping your fetish to yourself? Why do random people on the street need to know about you being an adult baby? The answer is nobody does.

Not every AB/DL in the entire world is the same. Granted, for some, it is a fetish aimed at nothing but gaining sexual gratification. HOWEVER, that doesn't apply for everyone. For me, I feel my AB side is an integral part of who I am. I may be intellectually an adult, but in many ways, I am similar to a child on an emotional level. I see no problem with others being themselves in public.

Besides, while I do have doubt that it will ever be fully socially accepted, many said that about LGBT people only a few decades ago. People making active efforts to hide, what often is, a significant part of their life and who they identify as a person, isn't exactly going to gain social acceptance for us, is it?

- - - Updated - - -

I suspect that part of the variety in reaction in this thread is the result of ABDL meaning different things to different people. For some, diapers and baby items are fetish items: they're arousing and associated with sexuality. Taking that out in public feels disturbing because sexual things in public are disturbing. Seeing other people out in public with a "fetish object" feels wrong as a result.

Some people, on the other hand, see ABDL as an identity. They don't wear diapers to become aroused, they wear them because they feel wrong in their own bodies when they're not diapered. For some, the idea of being able to appear publicly as a young child feels deeply right because that's who they are, and seeing other people freely engaging in behaviors they'd like to try is an empowering moment.

Neither side is right or wrong. Like Trevor said, we each need to deal with people ourselves, as best we can.

YES

 

[KitsBunny]

People have a strong drive to control each other and everyone likes to get their way. Society is a way for us to all get along without hurting each other excessively. Just imagine that everyone is at war with everyone else and that the rules of society are a peace treaty. If you don't follow the rules of the society, you risk being hurt.

The rules can be altered. But, its a long, tough, and perpetual battle. You need allies - people who think similarly to you -, a lot of persuasion, and a lot of time. And, your group has to outperform other groups that have opinions that clash with yours.

ABDLs seem to mostly be a small and secretive fringe group. As such, they don't exert much social pressure for change. I don't know of any society on Earth where ABDL displays are considered publically acceptable.

 

[babysnow]

You are dead wrong. People who do this are terrible for this community. It only brings negative attention.

please tell me why he is wrong this is a community not a religion we dont have doctrine and what one person like to do others dont so some people make assumptions about us and give us bad attention AND maby those people are not worth it to start with, ok the public dont look at us as anything more then a bunch of freaks and the tv show owners see us as nothing more then a episode to get money what makes them worth it