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awww, heck, i'm so sorry, hailey. unmanaged Borderline can be really damaging in relationships- again I'm speaking as someone who has it. I've been in therapy regularly for 9 years now, and did DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) to help me learn how to accept my emotions, and only after i went to therapy did i get better at learning how to respect other people, because i learned how to respect myself. i was very prone to taking my emotions out on my friends, i had a very hard time figuring out when people were actually trying to hurt me and when i had a warped perspective on things.BabyHailey1977 said:Yes!! Me, and her siblings have tried so hard to get her to go see a therapist, but she flat out refuses.
the hot-and-cold behavior is so hard to deal from the outside with because it makes you feel crazy! you don't know how they actually feel, one minute you feel they love something, then the next they hate it, it makes your head spin! i've had a few exes with BPD and that behavior was some of the hardest to deal with because one day they'd love everything i did, but the next i was a demon and i never even know what caused the change... while i know she's struggling, it's not fair that she's making the folks' around her lives harder, even if she doesn't mean to, it's been made apparent to her that she needs help. it's always so sad when someone who clearly just needs a bit of help refuses it. it's not really as scary as people make it out to be, i'm a much happier person now that i don't think so negatively about myself and everyone around me! it's a hard battle, but it's one that's worth fighting.
learning to love yourself teaches you how to love other people for who they are, no matter what
i hope that she changes her mind and chooses to seek therapy at some point. it would genuinely improve her life in ways she doesn't realize, but it would especially make your and your daughter's life easier, too. it's not okay when someone's mental health issues begin to spill out on the people around them- that's exactly what lead me to get help for my borderline. i really hope some good change happens for both you and her