When to come out as ABDL to a (potential) boyfriend?

[EclipseWolf]

I’m going on a date with a guy from work and I know that if we pursue a relationship, I will eventually have to tell him about my little side. How far into the relationship should I do that? Should I tell him at the same time that I tell him I’m asexual? Should I wait until we start thinking about moving in together? I don’t really know how this works?

 

[Forced]

There’s no point in outing yourself on a first date, especially if it’s someone you work with.
It could end in tears with all you colleagues being told that you like wearing diapers.

I think at the point that you feel it’s getting serious or you can trust someone enough that they won’t spill the beans

 

[WeakEndPartyPerson]

So you want a strong friend and not a sexual relationship? As that's what Asexuality is?

 

[Mickey]

I would slowly introduce him to things like lets say you have plushies, etc. Introduce him to your collection. Ie, see how he reacts. If positive then more and more as time goes on. Don't overwhelm or say "I'm an adult baby" on your first date lol.

 

[Rainbow]

Just don't overthink it. He's got secrets he will be nervous about revealing to you, too. But that is all in good time. One secret is not all that you are. You definitely want to tell him at some point, but not for a while, not until you both decide you want to be committed to one another. Just take it one step at a time. There's no right or wrong way about it, so long as nothing is forced. The timing will work itself out, I think. You will know.

I wish you luck on your date! It's very exciting. I wish you both the best.

 

[Lyric]

I suggest that once you know you want to continue to see him and enjoy his companionship, you should let him know about your little side and what you would like from him to move further into the relationship.

 

[SparkleBunny]

I would say to wait until you have a long term romantic relationship with him first before even telling him about it. You need to give enough time to get to know each other better. Once you get more serious and decide the both of you want to be together, then that might be the time you tell him about your AB side. But for now just see how things go and enjoy your dates and time spent with him.

 

[EclipseWolf]

There’s no point in outing yourself on a first date, especially if it’s someone you work with.

Don't overwhelm or say "I'm an adult baby" on your first date lol.

Lol. Yeah, I figured this wasn’t something you’d mention on the first date, I just wasn’t sure of what time would be appropriate. Thanks for the advice.

 

[EclipseWolf]

So you want a strong friend and not a sexual relationship? As that's what Asexuality is?

I’m hoping for a long-term romantic relationship that doesn’t depend on sex in order to stay afloat.

 

[BabyGirlMara]

No need to tell him on the first date, wait a little while, usually 3-6 months or until it’s a committed relationship. I told my boyfriend after 6 months, he didn’t like it at first, but he got used to it, he thinks I’m super cute in my diapers and he loves when I call him “daddy.”

 

[ThePaddedTurtle]

as most of the others have said in the forum already, wait until things get serious to tell him that you are a litte.

 

[WeakEndPartyPerson]

Lol. Yeah, I figured this wasn’t something you’d mention on the first date, I just wasn’t sure of what time would be appropriate. Thanks for the advice.

Don't quite know how it's happened but Forced said the first quote ☝. Please do not put words in my mouth.
-
BW

 

[EclipseWolf]

Don't quite know how it's happened but Forced said the first quote ☝. Please do not put words in my mouth.
-
BW

Whoops sorry. Yeah, I‘m not sure how that happened either.

 

[Saltedcaramel64]

I think you should disclose your A sexuality early. Like first or second date early. If you dont appear to be physically into your date hes going to think you dont like him. If you explain your position he will have the context to understand you better. For most people the idea of a sexless relationship is a deal breaker. If you get that in the open you can save yourself and him a lot of time.
Id wait on revealing the abdl side. Especially since hes also a coworker.

 

[LittleAndrea]

I agree with saltedcaramel64. For most people being upfront about the asexual part is going to be more important, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Sex is an important part of most romantic relationships, this is something that is going to likely be expected unless you are up front about your non-desires.
As far as the ABDL stuff. I agree that it should be gradual. Don't wait forever of course but at least until you can trust that they are not going to balk at it and tell all of your co-workers which would mean you're not only out a relationship but possibly also out a job because the environment can become uncomfortable if not toxic.
I consider myself asexual (I could happily go the rest of my life without it) although I still participate to make my husband happy.
On the same token my husband has become a wonderful Daddy and I'm not talking about some of the people you see that it's all about the sex. He takes care of me, cuddles me, reads me stories, gives me baths and so much more. I suppose I would say its give and take. If your determined to not do anything sexual lay the cards on the table. I would honestly say by the second date. Let the first one just to see if you enjoy each others company then start the confessions on the second date. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope it turns out well.

 

[abdl86]

I agree with saltedcaramel64. For most people being upfront about the asexual part is going to be more important, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Sex is an important part of most romantic relationships, this is something that is going to likely be expected unless you are up front about your non-desires.
As far as the ABDL stuff. I agree that it should be gradual. Don't wait forever of course but at least until you can trust that they are not going to balk at it and tell all of your co-workers which would mean you're not only out a relationship but possibly also out a job because the environment can become uncomfortable if not toxic.
I consider myself asexual (I could happily go the rest of my life without it) although I still participate to make my husband happy.
On the same token my husband has become a wonderful Daddy and I'm not talking about some of the people you see that it's all about the sex. He takes care of me, cuddles me, reads me stories, gives me baths and so much more. I suppose I would say its give and take. If your determined to not do anything sexual lay the cards on the table. I would honestly say by the second date. Let the first one just to see if you enjoy each others company then start the confessions on the second date. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope it turns out well.

Sounds like some very good advance and it seems like it help for you.