What’s your biggest shame

[stinkape]

My biggest shame is really something I don’t have much control over . Chronic Depression . It takes away so much of a life that is so short. Blurring the colors with gray hues. I am ok but just numb.

 

[messydiaper]

Hope things go better for you.

 

[I12BLittle89]

I have self-diagnosed ADHD. I talk out of turn. It’s often way out in left field because the conversation has progressed and the point I wanted to make had its opportunity and came and went. Or an internal dialogue moved my point a thousand steps ahead of the conversation. So once I get my chance to talk. I make statements that don’t make sense. Or I forget what I was about to say because my thoughts keep wandering off. I get excited and I tend to talk extremely loud and not notice it. It’s embarrassing.

 

[claire123]

My biggest shame is bpd and the loss of control over emotions especially when triggered and upset

 

[CutestPaddedFemboy]

I have self-diagnosed ADHD. I talk out of turn. It’s often way out in left field because the conversation has progressed and the point I wanted to make had its opportunity and came and went. Or an internal dialogue moved my point a thousand steps ahead of the conversation. So once I get my chance to talk. I make statements that don’t make sense. Or I forget what I was about to say because my thoughts keep wandering off. I get excited and I tend to talk extremely loud and not notice it. It’s embarrassing.

i use to do that. now I just don't talk. Its better to stay shut-up so you don't mess-up

 

[I12BLittle89]

i use to do that. now I just don't talk. Its better to stay shut-up so you don't mess-up

I shut up too but I’m more depressed because I can’t communicate all of my exciting thoughts.

 

[BabyDemon33]

My biggest shame are my possibly bi polar manic episodes (undiagnosed). Sure I feel good and have crazy ideas for projects but then I spend money on tools, equipment, books and even classes related to it only to burnout and fall into depression. I once had an idea to patent a new kind of ABDL inspired anti anxiety Pillow, a plan to write black metal, a plan to start a miniature painting buisness, a plan to develop a first person dungeon crawler (in the vein of Arx Fatalis), a plan to start a streaming entertainment empire and a plan to get rich in Vegas (thankfully I never bought the vacation package).

 

[I12BLittle89]

My biggest shame are my possibly bi polar manic episodes (undiagnosed). Sure I feel good and have crazy ideas for projects but then I spend money on tools, equipment, books and even classes related to it only to burnout and fall into depression. I once had an idea to patent a new kind of ABDL inspired anti anxiety Pillow, a plan to write black metal, a plan to start a miniature painting buisness, a plan to develop a first person dungeon crawler (in the vein of Arx Fatalis), a plan to start a streaming entertainment empire and a plan to get rich in Vegas (thankfully I never bought the vacation package).

This sounds a lot like ADHD. We tend to get hyper focused on the next new thing. Tends to be obsessive at times. It’s odd how the one thing we can focus on becomes hyper focused. We devote so much energy towards it that the reward doesn’t pay off or satisfy or we never make it to the end because too much effort is devoted towards it. The result is depression. We had mental stimulation that satisfied and now there’s nothing that stimulates anymore. So we feel depression. Until the next thing comes along. We tend to suffer from SAD: Stress, Anxiety and Depression. Stress and Anxiety because it’s often hard to function in a world when your thoughts are always wandering. I am always worn out at the end of the day because I have devoted a great deal of energy towards staying on task. It’s very difficult. Like some people do it naturally like breathing or blinking. But imagine if someone had to consciously think “breathe in, breathe out” all day.

 

[BabyDemon33]

This sounds a lot like ADHD. We tend to get hyper focused on the next new thing. Tends to be obsessive at times. It’s odd how the one thing we can focus on becomes hyper focused. We devote so much energy towards it that the reward doesn’t pay off or satisfy or we never make it to the end because too much effort is devoted towards it. The result is depression. We had mental stimulation that satisfied and now there’s nothing that stimulates anymore. So we feel depression. Until the next thing comes along. We tend to suffer from SAD: Stress, Anxiety and Depression. Stress and Anxiety because it’s often hard to function in a world when your thoughts are always wandering. I am always worn out at the end of the day because I have devoted a great deal of energy towards staying on task. It’s very difficult. Like some people do it naturally like breathing or blinking. But imagine if someone had to consciously think “breathe in, breathe out” all day.

Hmm interesting. I think I’ll bite the bullet and go to the doctor about it one day

 

[I12BLittle89]

Hmm interesting. I think I’ll bite the bullet and go to the doctor about it one day

lol yeah I’m stubborn and haven’t gone myself. It isn’t easy.

 

[lilSorcerer]

I don't really do the whole shame thing anymore. Long ago I decided shame and pride were emotions that hurt more than helped me, and worked to kill those feelings as much as possible. Of course, you can't totally get rid of them, but I've done a pretty good job at reducing these emotions.

I get how you feel with the depression though. It is lame how grey everything gets and how tough it can be to function with super low motivation. I wouldn't say I'm ashamed of it though. It just is what it is. Luckily antidepressants take the edge off enough for me to carve enjoyment out of life, but man do I miss how colorful and vivid life was pre-depression. I often feel like the walking dead, but now I affectionately like to think of myself as half alive rather than half dead.

 

[Woncrinklz]

Shame? That's a hard one because I switch interests so many times in my life. I accomplished many things. When I get bored, or better yet, feel I completed what I yearned to accomplish I don't finish whatever it was I did because I just wanted to master the "concept", so I suppose I have a lot of undone stuff I should either get rid of, or sell. OR DO. The challenge is bouncing about with more ideas and projects than I can do, and I get depressed a lot. So some days just fade away unremembered in-between my "projects" as though I am in a rush to do....what? With a lot of guilt trips that I feed myself on a daily basis. I am a master of this art; if anyone wants to learn from a professional procrastinator. Lol..

 

[Hemix]

Cringey actions, they jump in randomly and make thee feel embarrassed.

 

[Woncrinklz]

My biggest shame are my possibly bi polar manic episodes (undiagnosed). Sure I feel good and have crazy ideas for projects but then I spend money on tools, equipment, books and even classes related to it only to burnout and fall into depression. I once had an idea to patent a new kind of ABDL inspired anti anxiety Pillow, a plan to write black metal, a plan to start a miniature painting buisness, a plan to develop a first person dungeon crawler (in the vein of Arx Fatalis), a plan to start a streaming entertainment empire and a plan to get rich in Vegas (thankfully I never bought the vacation package).

Do you think if you had a "partner in crime" so to speak, this wouldn't be an issue and you'd accomplish all your inspirations?
I always wondered that with myself.
Sometimes things fizzle-out because nobody seems as enthused as the creator, being yourself. So, maybe it's just self-motivation and completion anxiety? Beats me.

I wish you all the power and fun to do your dreams You seem a very charged personality. Just do it. (easy for me to say...)

 

[DiaperedInDenver]

OCD for me. Everyone thinks I'm a tweaker sometimes because of my weird little tics that I do and whatnot. Hopefully starting therapy will help me manage it. It's gotten so annoying as of late.

 

[Sissyleslie]

OCD for me. Everyone thinks I'm a tweaker sometimes because of my weird little tics that I do and whatnot. Hopefully, starting therapy will help me manage it. It's gotten so annoying as of late.

I know how you feel to a certain extent as I have OCD. For me, it's the Constant Checking and also Fear of Contamination. I often wonder what my neighbours think if they see me constantly checking the front door to make sure it's locked.

But the thing I feel ashamed about happened years ago, when I used Dettol disinfectant on door handles. I would then hide the bottles from my Dad, but he would usually find them. In the end, I ended up seeing a psychologist. Although I still have OCD, it's not as bad as it used to be.

 

[DiaperedInDenver]

I know how you feel to a certain extent as I have OCD. For me, it's the Constant Checking and also Fear of Contamination. I often wonder what my neighbours think if they see me constantly checking the front door to make sure it's locked.

But the thing I feel ashamed about happened years ago, when I used Dettol disinfectant on door handles. I would then hide the bottles from my Dad, but he would usually find them. In the end, I ended up seeing a psychologist. Although I still have OCD, it's not as bad as it used to be.

I realized that I needed to find help as soon as I started getting contamination ocd issues these past few months. Before that I only had rituals and stuff to make sure something bad doesn't happen (like, twitch my eye until it feels just right or my family will die type stuff). I'm hoping some kind of therapy will help, but not having high expectations. Been listening to a lot of audio books about it recently and that's been helping me more than I thought it would

 

[Sissyleslie]

I think that my OCD has it's origins in my mother's death when I was about 12 years old. She took her own life and I found her body. (I did actually touch her corpse). With that sort of trauma to carry for the rest of my life, it's probably not surprising that I have developed some issues with my mental health.

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

My biggest shame are my possibly bi polar manic episodes (undiagnosed). Sure I feel good and have crazy ideas for projects but then I spend money on tools, equipment, books and even classes related to it only to burnout and fall into depression. I once had an idea to patent a new kind of ABDL inspired anti anxiety Pillow, a plan to write black metal, a plan to start a miniature painting buisness, a plan to develop a first person dungeon crawler (in the vein of Arx Fatalis), a plan to start a streaming entertainment empire and a plan to get rich in Vegas (thankfully I never bought the vacation package).

After you start a project, at what point do you lose interest? That is the killer of the dream. You have to learn to control that emotion so you can complete the project. You have to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[TexHagrid]

Well, this will come as a huge shock, but… I like to wear diapers.