- Messages
- 202
- Age
- 19
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Little
I just need to vent. I haven't worn in 6 months, yet I've been craving it every single day. I finally started putting my plan into place to be able to wear again a few weeks ago and last weekend I made my order with NRU.
Since then I've been so excited about it that I haven't been able to sleep, only getting around 2 hours each night. I've also been unable to attend my University lectures since ordering because my excitement about this has been uncontrollable. If I went to any lectures people would definitely find out because I'm uncontrollably energised.
I've just had the notification this morning that despite paying for premium next day delivery, my order will not be getting delivered today as arranged but instead will deliver tomorrow. The reason: the pickup point I selected is full. Why DPD couldn't have told me that or at least let me choose a different one to keep them being delivered today I will never understand. But now I'm pissed.
Because the one day delivery delay is disastrous for me. That's another night of almost no sleep when I normally need 9 hours. That's another day of missed lectures because if I went in I would surely let something slip. That's a further 24 hours of being completely restless and feeling like I'm going insane. Genuinely, yesterday was horrible for me. Way too tired but unable to do anything about it, full of energy, autism ticking the word "diaper" constantly, just feeling like am absolute mess of a human and being unable to regulate any of my emotions. The only thing keeping me going was the promise of the diapers but now that's changed, and what if the pickup point is still full tomorrow? I can't wait any longer than that without tearing myself apart.
Everything was perfectly planned and now it's all falling apart, and my autistic brain can't handle the change and is now going ballistic. I feel like I'm about to have a psychotic episode. I have so many important things happening tomorrow that I really can't afford to miss but now I fear I will have to unless I can stop reflexively muttering about diapers. And to make it worse, my parents are coming to see me on Thursday. If I can't stop unconsciously talking about diapers by then they're gonna find out and will probably never speak to me again. It's all going to hell and I can't cope with it. I feel entirely trapped and helpless right now with the only solution unavailable due to factors outside of my control. I've contacted NRU and there's nothing they can do.
Someone please help me. I feel like I'm going crazy right now from all the stress and worry. And I'm worried I might just cancel the order altogether in a moment of panic once I inevitably once again come to think that this is disgusting and wrong. I've been fighting off the controlling side of myself for over a month trying to get this done and he's about to win. Please. I don't know what to do.
Since then I've been so excited about it that I haven't been able to sleep, only getting around 2 hours each night. I've also been unable to attend my University lectures since ordering because my excitement about this has been uncontrollable. If I went to any lectures people would definitely find out because I'm uncontrollably energised.
I've just had the notification this morning that despite paying for premium next day delivery, my order will not be getting delivered today as arranged but instead will deliver tomorrow. The reason: the pickup point I selected is full. Why DPD couldn't have told me that or at least let me choose a different one to keep them being delivered today I will never understand. But now I'm pissed.
Because the one day delivery delay is disastrous for me. That's another night of almost no sleep when I normally need 9 hours. That's another day of missed lectures because if I went in I would surely let something slip. That's a further 24 hours of being completely restless and feeling like I'm going insane. Genuinely, yesterday was horrible for me. Way too tired but unable to do anything about it, full of energy, autism ticking the word "diaper" constantly, just feeling like am absolute mess of a human and being unable to regulate any of my emotions. The only thing keeping me going was the promise of the diapers but now that's changed, and what if the pickup point is still full tomorrow? I can't wait any longer than that without tearing myself apart.
Everything was perfectly planned and now it's all falling apart, and my autistic brain can't handle the change and is now going ballistic. I feel like I'm about to have a psychotic episode. I have so many important things happening tomorrow that I really can't afford to miss but now I fear I will have to unless I can stop reflexively muttering about diapers. And to make it worse, my parents are coming to see me on Thursday. If I can't stop unconsciously talking about diapers by then they're gonna find out and will probably never speak to me again. It's all going to hell and I can't cope with it. I feel entirely trapped and helpless right now with the only solution unavailable due to factors outside of my control. I've contacted NRU and there's nothing they can do.
Someone please help me. I feel like I'm going crazy right now from all the stress and worry. And I'm worried I might just cancel the order altogether in a moment of panic once I inevitably once again come to think that this is disgusting and wrong. I've been fighting off the controlling side of myself for over a month trying to get this done and he's about to win. Please. I don't know what to do.