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WOW! I have so many I don't know where to begin! I've been "stuck in a rut" that no matter what I do, I can't seem to get out of! Sadly, until I can afford to legally divorce the whore I'm stuck living with, it's never going to end! I swear I feel like a fucking mouse stuck in a maze who's happy for as long as it takes him to eat the tiny bit of food he found who instantly has to go back on the hunt to find more. I can't see a way out of it either as I literally can't afford to divorce her yet. SHE did one hell of a job painting me into a corner, let me tell you!
I have so many dreams and plans and I can't act on ANY of them as I can't work up the ambition, drive or desire. The ONLY TIMES I am truly happy is when I with friends, when I am working or when my youngest son is home from college. Outside of that, I can't even make myself dop things I LOVE doing although my back being a train wreck is also contributing to that. THANKFULLY I see the neurosurgeon on 1-7 and hopefully shortly afterwards I have the useless spinal stimulator ripped out of my back so that I can have the MRI I have needed since last March performed although I have a funny feeling the nerve damage is done and not coming back!~ My right leg "goes out" the instant I feel the "lightning bolts" shoot right across my belt line. Dr's don't know what to say as they all claim there is nothing there to cause this and insist it has to be going down y legs, which has NEVER happened. I also have to admit something that has me shaking. I've had 6 bowel "accident" in the past 2 months. Prior to this I had 2 in the previous 8 months and one was a shart, I'm deathly afraid that when they do the MRI they're going to come back and tell me they can't find anything wrong...which is nothing new, I've been dealing with problems that "can't exist" for over 20 years now! It took me YEARS to adapt to urinary IC. I don't know if I have enough time left to learn to live with bowel issues, which I may be overthinking and may be just that...accidents!
So my 1st resolution is to open up to my Dr's and tell them about the bowel issues. I have zero idea WTF to do with the WHORE outside of find someone to start bu8ilding a relationship with as that would drive her absolutely insane! the fact she's been with at least 8-10 guys since I went to Tn in '19 (and intentionally FUCKED ME by not paying a single bill with my name on it) and honestly I'm PRAYING she finds a guy that "takes her away":.....shame the only guys she seems to date are ALL losers! The majority have criminal records and live with "mommy" while the ones who don't have records own nothing, live in low rent apartments. I'm fucked on that front.
I apologize for my rant her. I don't mean to take over your post. I just feel totally helpless. That and IF I don't meet a NORMAL woman soon I am going to SCREAM!
CptKirk
I have so many dreams and plans and I can't act on ANY of them as I can't work up the ambition, drive or desire. The ONLY TIMES I am truly happy is when I with friends, when I am working or when my youngest son is home from college. Outside of that, I can't even make myself dop things I LOVE doing although my back being a train wreck is also contributing to that. THANKFULLY I see the neurosurgeon on 1-7 and hopefully shortly afterwards I have the useless spinal stimulator ripped out of my back so that I can have the MRI I have needed since last March performed although I have a funny feeling the nerve damage is done and not coming back!~ My right leg "goes out" the instant I feel the "lightning bolts" shoot right across my belt line. Dr's don't know what to say as they all claim there is nothing there to cause this and insist it has to be going down y legs, which has NEVER happened. I also have to admit something that has me shaking. I've had 6 bowel "accident" in the past 2 months. Prior to this I had 2 in the previous 8 months and one was a shart, I'm deathly afraid that when they do the MRI they're going to come back and tell me they can't find anything wrong...which is nothing new, I've been dealing with problems that "can't exist" for over 20 years now! It took me YEARS to adapt to urinary IC. I don't know if I have enough time left to learn to live with bowel issues, which I may be overthinking and may be just that...accidents!
So my 1st resolution is to open up to my Dr's and tell them about the bowel issues. I have zero idea WTF to do with the WHORE outside of find someone to start bu8ilding a relationship with as that would drive her absolutely insane! the fact she's been with at least 8-10 guys since I went to Tn in '19 (and intentionally FUCKED ME by not paying a single bill with my name on it) and honestly I'm PRAYING she finds a guy that "takes her away":.....shame the only guys she seems to date are ALL losers! The majority have criminal records and live with "mommy" while the ones who don't have records own nothing, live in low rent apartments. I'm fucked on that front.
I apologize for my rant her. I don't mean to take over your post. I just feel totally helpless. That and IF I don't meet a NORMAL woman soon I am going to SCREAM!
CptKirk