Today I had the first ever productive conversation in my life with a psychologist regarding AB

[Stargazer93]

Sorry mods if this is the wrong spot to post this, but here we go.

Today was a special day. I truly like this current psychologist I am working with. It took SOOOO many years and failed other therapists, but I think this one actually can help.

He is the one that diagnosed the autism, so he is in the unique position to understand my full picture. He also sub-specializes in PTSD and neglect, so I feel in good hands.

So I was dancing around the full truth of AB with him for a few weeks, but today I showed him the diapers, the pacifier, the baby food and the bottle. Once again, another healthcare provider who never heard the term Paraphilic infantilism, or the full aspects of AB. He was like "in 30 years of practice, you are the very first person that I've treated with this"

At this point in my life I was just like "yeah cool, ok let's get to work"

Of course he looked at me with eyes of bewilderment for like 15 mins as I laid it out for him, but then we started to really talk about it. The shock on his face was priceless, but its all good. I felt actually listened to and understood by someone outside our community for the first time ever.

AB has brought me a lot of support and comfort over the course of my life, so I will always appreciate that, but I swear I can not control it and it owns me rather then me consenting to engaging in it. So I would like to make some progress with it.

I've done so before, but I can't do it alone anymore and now I finally have someone else in my corner, besides everyone here of course.

This is also a good time to express to everyone here how much I appreciate your support and having this site available to come to. I felt so alone in this my whole life and now I have a community of support. So I will be forever grateful.

I'm feeling very hopeful today, So I just wanted to share that with everyone.

 

[LittleRen77]

That's amazing. Would you mind telling us a bit more about what he had to say about the AB lifestyle in general? Maybe the comments he made about it, questions he asked you, and any feedback he might have had? Only if you're comfortable with that, of course. I certainly don't want to pry into your personal conversations with him. I'm just curious about how he approached the subject of AB, given it was so new to him.

 

[KarmaBaby3]

I told mine a year ago and she has been amazing, she didn’t say if I was the first or not but she never forced me to talk about it. At beginning I barely could say the word diaper without looking down and mumbling/stuttering. But slowly over the months she kept bringing it up and I could fInally talk about it normally. Now we are working on next step with doing a conversation with my non accepting mother who I live with. I’m getting close, just don’t know how to bring it up …. But it’s great working with a therapist on it - highly highly recommended

 

[Stargazer93]

That's amazing. Would you mind telling us a bit more about what he had to say about the AB lifestyle in general? Maybe the comments he made about it, questions he asked you, and any feedback he might have had? Only if you're comfortable with that, of course. I certainly don't want to pry into your personal conversations with him. I'm just curious about how he approached the subject of AB, given it was so new to him.

Sure, I don't mind sharing.

So this was the big reveal day, it was mostly me explaining it and him just listening, lol. But honestly just being able to talk about this with someone else is always very helpful.

He truly had no idea. And I mean about any of it. I showed him the baby bottle, then baby food, then a little kings and then my sesame street t shirt and pacifier w clip. and the first thing out of his mouth was "oh, so you actually act the whole thing out?". He truly did not know that we do what we do. Like Zero. She this was a whole new world to him.

And I went on to explain everything this has become so prevalent that there are brick and mortar stores that cater specifically to ABDL and you should have seen the shock on his face, like his mouth was open.

Pardon me for one second just to vent. Imagine you are just some regular person. There's something wrong with car and I go to the mechanic and I'm like "I think it might the alternator" and the certified, school trained and experienced mechanic is like "what's that? I never heard a client mention an alternator before..." It can be very frustrating.

So basically I had to be my own psychologist explaining my condition to my psychologist which is surreal in its own right. But once he started to understand he was basically like "holy crap". He was like "yeah, this is extreme, but makes sense". He said even though your mother may have been in the same house, for all intents and purposes you are an orphan. And that's right on the money, I felt that way my entire life.

He also said that since autism has a hypersensitivity component to it, so that as I felt the neglect it was magnified and heightened which there was a chance that contributed to this hyper-correction trying to literally relief the empty times I had of infancy, but doing it correctly. I had suspected that, but he concurred.

I honestly think he was overwhelmed by the whole thing, like he just learned where babies come from or something. It was just so much to take in, but I laid out my plan which will be psychedelic therapy again, and then immediately talk with this psychologist and with his help try and process and integrate the positive insights from the experience into my everyday life. Which he was all for.

Psychedelic therapy is the only thing I my life that every worked in a significant way, but I can't keep it lasting more than a few months. I've never had a psychologist or therapist to speak with after psychedelic therapy though. I've always tried to do it alone and I continue not to get where I want to on my own. So now its 2 against 1 instead of me fighting this battle all alone. So that really makes me optimistic.

I also introduced him to the term paraphillic infantilism and told him to check it out in the DSM-V, so he wrote it down seemingly very interested.

So well see from here.

Anything that I find helpful from the sessions I will gladly share with the community.

 

[LittleRen77]

Sure, I don't mind sharing.

So this was the big reveal day, it was mostly me explaining it and him just listening, lol. But honestly just being able to talk about this with someone else is always very helpful.

He truly had no idea. And I mean about any of it. I showed him the baby bottle, then baby food, then a little kings and then my sesame street t shirt and pacifier w clip. and the first thing out of his mouth was "oh, so you actually act the whole thing out?". He truly did not know that we do what we do. Like Zero. She this was a whole new world to him.

And I went on to explain everything this has become so prevalent that there are brick and mortar stores that cater specifically to ABDL and you should have seen the shock on his face, like his mouth was open.

Pardon me for one second just to vent. Imagine you are just some regular person. There's something wrong with car and I go to the mechanic and I'm like "I think it might the alternator" and the certified, school trained and experienced mechanic is like "what's that? I never heard a client mention an alternator before..." It can be very frustrating.

So basically I had to be my own psychologist explaining my condition to my psychologist which is surreal in its own right. But once he started to understand he was basically like "holy crap". He was like "yeah, this is extreme, but makes sense". He said even though your mother may have been in the same house, for all intents and purposes you are an orphan. And that's right on the money, I felt that way my entire life.

He also said that since autism has a hypersensitivity component to it, so that as I felt the neglect it was magnified and heightened which there was a chance that contributed to this hyper-correction trying to literally relief the empty times I had of infancy, but doing it correctly. I had suspected that, but he concurred.

I honestly think he was overwhelmed by the whole thing, like he just learned where babies come from or something. It was just so much to take in, but I laid out my plan which will be psychedelic therapy again, and then immediately talk with this psychologist and with his help try and process and integrate the positive insights from the experience into my everyday life. Which he was all for.

Psychedelic therapy is the only thing I my life that every worked in a significant way, but I can't keep it lasting more than a few months. I've never had a psychologist or therapist to speak with after psychedelic therapy though. I've always tried to do it alone and I continue not to get where I want to on my own. So now its 2 against 1 instead of me fighting this battle all alone. So that really makes me optimistic.

I also introduced him to the term paraphillic infantilism and told him to check it out in the DSM-V, so he wrote it down seemingly very interested.

So well see from here.

Anything that I find helpful from the sessions I will gladly share with the community.

Thanks so much for the great explanation! Lots to think about in there. It’s really good that he is “on your side”. Hopefully he can help make it work even better for you over time.

 

[DylanLewis]

I also introduced him to the term paraphillic infantilism and told him to check it out in the DSM-V, so he wrote it down seemingly very interested.

Its great to hear you have a productive relationship with a trusted therapist. Go you!

Just a note re the DSM-V. To the best of my recollection there is no reference to paraphilic infantilism in the current version of the DSM (V) introduced in 2013 (?). The DSM IV-TR was the last version to include this reference. The removal of the reference to paraphilic infantilism was IMO a great advance as that defined ABDL as a sexual disorder and was a flawed diagnosis which prioritised some symptomology (sexual) and ignored most of the important symptoms/issues. Now it is up to mental health professionals to determine what diagnosis they consider appropriate (although without much guidance about ABDL and its symptomology).

Regards. Dylan.

 

[Stargazer93]

Its great to hear you have a productive relationship with a trusted therapist. Go you!

Just a note re the DSM-V. To the best of my recollection there is no reference to paraphilic infantilism in the current version of the DSM (V) introduced in 2013 (?). The DSM IV-TR was the last version to include this reference. The removal of the reference to paraphilic infantilism was IMO a great advance as that defined ABDL as a sexual disorder and was a flawed diagnosis which prioritised some symptomology (sexual) and ignored most of the important symptoms/issues. Now it is up to mental health professionals to determine what diagnosis they consider appropriate (although without much guidance about ABDL and its symptomology).

Regards. Dylan.

Yeah, you are definitely right.

I was just looking through the DSM-V and I also could not find it. I'm not sure exactly what made me thing that, but I appreciate the info.

Oh well, I directed him to wikipedia as well and I actually think they provide a good and fair overview.

 

[DylanLewis]

Yeah, you are definitely right.

I was just looking through the DSM-V and I also could not find it. I'm not sure exactly what made me thing that, but I appreciate the info.

Oh well, I directed him to wikipedia as well and I actually think they provide a good and fair overview.

I'm not as positive about the Wikipedia article. Some might consider it is better than no information. IMO the main drawback is that it still takes as its starting point that ABDL is a sexual disorder/diagnosis (the article is subtitled paraphilic [ie sexual] infantilism). Secondly, the section on the etiology (causes) is not good (including the citation of discredited sexologist's John Money's pop psychology Lovemaps 'theory').

If you are looking to provide references to your therapist you may wish to consider the following -

(2003) Adult baby syndrome. Pate, J. E., & Gabbard, G. O. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 160(11), 1932–1936. (Along with Kise and Nguyen (2011) (below) this is one of two competent published differential diagnoses for an ABDL by a mental health professional.)

(2011) Adult baby syndrome and gender identity disorder. Kise, K., & Nguyen, M. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40(5), 857–859.

‘Self-Reported Childhood Maltreatment and Erotic Target Identity Inversions Among Men with Paraphiliac Infantilism’, Fuss, Joannes., Jais, Laura., Grey, B. Terrance., Guczka, Sascha R., Briken, Peer., Biderman, Sarah. V. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy Volume 45, 2019, Issue 8 (Reports on a landmark, insightful large sample survey of ABDLs conducted by the Institute of Sex Research at the University of Hamburg. It sets the benchmark for future surveys. BitterGrey, B. Terrance Grey, a pillar of the ABDL community is one of the authors.)

Sex therapist Rhonda Lipscomb's kindle book You're Not Broken is well thought of in the ABDL community.

Maskery, Frances C. (2022). What are the aetiology, drives and experiences of the non-sexual adult baby? [Unpublished doctoral
thesis]. University of Chester. (I am still reading this, it is a recent work by a Rogerian/Person Centred therapist who like Rhonda Lipscomb is well acquainted with ABDLs and is sympathetic.)

Several of my kindle books from 2019 onwards.

There are a lot more but the above is a good start.

Regards. Dylan.

 

[Stargazer93]

Thank you so much. Those are awesome resources.

Yeah, at the end of the day its really best for just us to explain it. Nobody really truly understands it better then we who live it.

 

[dogboy]

As some of you know from my past post, I told my therapist during my last visit. I wondered where this would go but he canceled the next appointment so now I'm still waiting, the next appointment coming up.

 

[DylanLewis]

As some of you know from my past post, I told my therapist during my last visit. I wondered where this would go but he canceled the next appointment so now I'm still waiting, the next appointment coming up.

dogboy

Hope it goes well for you. I've just finished six months with the best therapist I've ever had. She took the ABDL stuff in her stride, didn't get distracted by it and focused on issues that were central to my well being. (She was the third therapist I tried, the first two didn't work for me, and I searched for a therapist that had expertise in the issues that were central to me.)

Regards. Dylan.

 

[mightytoddler]

Sorry mods if this is the wrong spot to post this, but here we go.

Today was a special day. I truly like this current psychologist I am working with. It took SOOOO many years and failed other therapists, but I think this one actually can help.

He is the one that diagnosed the autism, so he is in the unique position to understand my full picture. He also sub-specializes in PTSD and neglect, so I feel in good hands.

So I was dancing around the full truth of AB with him for a few weeks, but today I showed him the diapers, the pacifier, the baby food and the bottle. Once again, another healthcare provider who never heard the term Paraphilic infantilism, or the full aspects of AB. He was like "in 30 years of practice, you are the very first person that I've treated with this"

At this point in my life I was just like "yeah cool, ok let's get to work"

Of course he looked at me with eyes of bewilderment for like 15 mins as I laid it out for him, but then we started to really talk about it. The shock on his face was priceless, but its all good. I felt actually listened to and understood by someone outside our community for the first time ever.

AB has brought me a lot of support and comfort over the course of my life, so I will always appreciate that, but I swear I can not control it and it owns me rather then me consenting to engaging in it. So I would like to make some progress with it.

I've done so before, but I can't do it alone anymore and now I finally have someone else in my corner, besides everyone here of course.

This is also a good time to express to everyone here how much I appreciate your support and having this site available to come to. I felt so alone in this my whole life and now I have a community of support. So I will be forever grateful.

I'm feeling very hopeful today, So I just wanted to share that with everyone.

First time I exposed my life style to my therapists she was not shocked at all . At first she said , I knew you’re a bit feminine but I was incorrect in my assessment . You’re actually being yourself as a child and there’s no shame at all . You’re a beautiful person this has opened up a completely different path I needed to know so we can continue to explore your inner child . One visit ( reason I was there was deep depression) I came into her office and she built a little corner with a cute baby blanket some basic toys . We sat on the floor together just like a mommy would do . She says I opened her up to a group she has since studied and believes we littles ( no sex talk at all) are one set of amazing sweet
people she’s ever worked with . That was 9 years ago she’s always checking on me and invited my mommy wife in sessions together . Now my mommy and my therapists became friends . Since I’m the patent there’s no crossed lines professionally . I’m always at home I don’t have friend because #1 I’m disabled #2 I really don’t want to be judged by others that don’t understand we littles . Here writing this is where I feel safest to express myself freely with others . I can’t imagine life without my mommy / wife our life relationship to us is common as we’re not trying to be loud or pushing ourselves on others . I’m very very quiet when away from home I’m usually always dressed in cute clothing they make me happy . My therapist now has 7 of us littles she cares for she calls us her littles each of us are different but the same in many ways . I’m glad you opened up to your therapists because if you don’t you’re getting incorrect help with what ever you’re seeking . Be happy , filled with your sweet loving self and enjoy your life to the fullest . We’re all unique we littles and that is truly amazing

 

[Stargazer93]

^^^^

"You’re actually being yourself as a child"

You nailed it. That's exactly what it is.

"I came into her office and she built a little corner with a cute baby blanket some basic toys"

I have huge respect for that. That's a therapist that understands.

 

[babyscotty37]

I'm glad for your positive experience. I have not been so fortunate.
Dealing with severe bullying, and physical challenges, led to major depression later in life. In about 2005 I was in a psych unit. The first morning the head psychiatrist comes to talk with me. In the conversation, I mention that I'm an adult baby and tried to briefly explain that part of me. He scoffed at me saying there's no such thing!!
The next morning he comes to talk again. This time he apologizes for the day before and says he did a little research that evening. At the time the damage/hurt had been more than what an apology could cover for.
Then about 7-8 years later I was sent to a young therapist at a community health center. After a few sessions, I carefully divulged this part of who I was. She immediately dropped me and refused to transfer me to another therapist!!
Going back further, in 1994 my professional life and family life came totally unraveled after going through a long and very painful orthopedic procedure. Long story short, I was extremely depressed and at the time I also wanted help to understand this part of me. I chose an inpatient Christian facility because my faith is also important to me. There, all they thought they knew was that it was 100% a sexual addiction!!!!! I tried to sort out what they were saying, even thinking they supposedly knew what they were talking about. There was zero focus on my past trauma, PTSD that I wasn't even aware of at the time.
A few years later my local psychiatrist, after many hospitalizations as I was a mess, told me that how I was treated was medical malpractice. But at the time, the damage to my inner core was very extensive. I had also been diagnosed with BPD.
Thankfully, after years of hard work using DBT, my life is pretty much back together.

 

[DylanLewis]

I'm glad for your positive experience. I have not been so fortunate.
Dealing with severe bullying, and physical challenges, led to major depression later in life. In about 2005 I was in a psych unit. The first morning the head psychiatrist comes to talk with me. In the conversation, I mention that I'm an adult baby and tried to briefly explain that part of me. He scoffed at me saying there's no such thing!!
The next morning he comes to talk again. This time he apologizes for the day before and says he did a little research that evening. At the time the damage/hurt had been more than what an apology could cover for.
Then about 7-8 years later I was sent to a young therapist at a community health center. After a few sessions, I carefully divulged this part of who I was. She immediately dropped me and refused to transfer me to another therapist!!
Going back further, in 1994 my professional life and family life came totally unraveled after going through a long and very painful orthopedic procedure. Long story short, I was extremely depressed and at the time I also wanted help to understand this part of me. I chose an inpatient Christian facility because my faith is also important to me. There, all they thought they knew was that it was 100% a sexual addiction!!!!! I tried to sort out what they were saying, even thinking they supposedly knew what they were talking about. There was zero focus on my past trauma, PTSD that I wasn't even aware of at the time.
A few years later my local psychiatrist, after many hospitalizations as I was a mess, told me that how I was treated was medical malpractice. But at the time, the damage to my inner core was very extensive. I had also been diagnosed with BPD.
Thankfully, after years of hard work using DBT, my life is pretty much back together.

babyscotty37

I am so glad to hear you finally got the aid of competent mental health professionals.

Your traumatic earlier experiences demonstrate that MHPs' professional knowledge of, and inclination to help, those of us who identify as ABDLs (and in my case, have dissociation and child alters) is patchy and cannot be taken for granted.

Before finding my last (best) therapist (who worked with my faith, because like you it is central to my well being), I terminated sessions with one therapist as she was off on her own agenda, and had another therapist decline to provide services after I provided a full briefing at our first session. If possible (not always so if someone is in distress) we have to go our due diligence to select a therapist who will be able to establish the therapeutic (trust) relationship necessary for successful therapy and outcomes.

Again, so glad you finally find competent MHPs.

Regards. Dylan.

 

[ItsTimmyTime]

Sounds like you've been on quite a journey. You've done an amazing job disclosing your ABDL tendancies to your therapist and explaining/opening his eyes to this little world he had absolutely no idea of!

All the best moving forward now. I hope you can learn to control and use little time to your advantage, when you want to rather than it controlling you. It's a fantastic way to release and find relief from the monotomy of daily life, especially once you're in control of it.

 

[DinoFrant]

Hey there! It´s great that you´ve finally been able to talk all this out with someone else. I know first-hand how good it can be to discuss this in therapy, mostly because that means we feel safe enough and that´s essential to make progress. Once I started discussing the real stuff in therapy I sort of felt bad about having wasted so many sessions -and fees- wandering with irrelevant stuff.

Pardon me for one second just to vent. Imagine you are just some regular person. There's something wrong with car and I go to the mechanic and I'm like "I think it might the alternator" and the certified, school trained and experienced mechanic is like "what's that? I never heard a client mention an alternator before..." It can be very frustrating.

You have every right to vent. When I explained this to my first psychologyst she reacted pretty much like yours... and that´s when I realized that I wasn´t going to be treated professionally -this doesn´t necessarily apply to your therapy; you keep on going if you feel safe enough-... so, anyway, I did put an end to that therapy and kept going from one consult to another until I found my current psychiatrist, who´s specialized in PTSD and victims of sexual abuse, as is unfortunately my case.

After hesitating for several interviews whether to tell him or not about my love for diapers, I made a comment half joking and half serious suggesting that I could wear diapers to comfort myself, to which he replied by giving me a detailed exposition about the ABDL world, and I mean detailed as if he was reading one of the pro posts here on ADISC... of course it wasn´t new for me, but it was comforting to know that he knew what he was dealing with and I felt even more reassured after he told me that I wasn´t his only ABDL patient.

Seriously, the right therapist can do wonders for your self esteem and self acceptance, so it always makes me happy that people feel safe enough with their counselors. Mental health is so important and lately is not as underrated as it used to be, so that´s a good thing too.

Take care!

 

[babyscotty37]

Wow! I wish I could find someone that's truly knowledgeable about ABDL. I also have PTSD from severe childhood bullying, and more recently from severe incompetence in pain management over the last 18 months, plus one experience of childhood sexual abuse while in a children's hospital at the age of 9. It was during that stay doctors discovered I actually had an ulcer at that age!

 

[Edgewater]

Yes, I am one of those truly boring U-IC folks that have some kind of understanding of the DL world as having been U-IC for a very longtime, I understand the basic interest in diapers. The AB side has always been a true mystery to me. Your Thread caught my attention as it appeared on the "What's new" Forum. The information within this Thread was a real eye-opener regarding this World and the struggles and joys this group is faced. Although I remain a boringly U-IC individual, my appreciation for each of you continues to expand!
Enjoy who you are, as the depth of caring is a truly great experience, thank you for the insight!

 

[Diaperboy27]

Sorry mods if this is the wrong spot to post this, but here we go.

Today was a special day. I truly like this current psychologist I am working with. It took SOOOO many years and failed other therapists, but I think this one actually can help.

He is the one that diagnosed the autism, so he is in the unique position to understand my full picture. He also sub-specializes in PTSD and neglect, so I feel in good hands.

So I was dancing around the full truth of AB with him for a few weeks, but today I showed him the diapers, the pacifier, the baby food and the bottle. Once again, another healthcare provider who never heard the term Paraphilic infantilism, or the full aspects of AB. He was like "in 30 years of practice, you are the very first person that I've treated with this"

At this point in my life I was just like "yeah cool, ok let's get to work"

Of course he looked at me with eyes of bewilderment for like 15 mins as I laid it out for him, but then we started to really talk about it. The shock on his face was priceless, but its all good. I felt actually listened to and understood by someone outside our community for the first time ever.

AB has brought me a lot of support and comfort over the course of my life, so I will always appreciate that, but I swear I can not control it and it owns me rather then me consenting to engaging in it. So I would like to make some progress with it.

I've done so before, but I can't do it alone anymore and now I finally have someone else in my corner, besides everyone here of course.

This is also a good time to express to everyone here how much I appreciate your support and having this site available to come to. I felt so alone in this my whole life and now I have a community of support. So I will be forever grateful.

I'm feeling very hopeful today, So I just wanted to share that with everyone.

Congratulations I ope things go well for you !