The Pros of being open about being ABDL

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I couldn't outright tell my family or friends but I don't exactly go out of my way to hide it either. My mum will buy me Hello Kitty or MLP pasta occasionally and my best friend knows the names of a few of my stuffies as I stay at his a lot. My family by and large aren't very accepting, most of them are still getting used to the way I dress and I've been dressing this way since my teens!
 
As many of you know, my mom knows. I told her when I was 18, the first time I bought diapers. I'm 37 now and we still share the house. There is no hiding my diapers in my room, they are stacked on the shelves. I type this while I'm sitting at the laundromat with her, my baby printed onsies are in the dryer now. When I'm home, I wear often. I do have 2 friends who know, for no other reason being that they can sew.... I've had one help me put snaps in overalls, and the other has made my pooh blankie.
 
Slinkie said:
most of them are still getting used to the way I dress and I've been dressing this way since my teens!
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To what extent does "dressing this way" mean? In a context of exposure to others. Just curious.
 
I'm generally pretty private about being a DL and about wearing at night as well. I think my landlord has seen them airing out over the top of my couch but he doesn't seem to notice. My parents and legal guardian grandmother would send me to the doctor right away if they found out or throw me on some goofy medication. Pretty sad that I still can't tell them huh..
 
I'm fairly private about my DL side. For most of my life, it has been something that only I know. I'm happy that now there are some real friends who know now, but so far, the only people who know that I wear diapers also wear diapers, and I don't see that changing since I do not plan on telling my family and non-ABDL friends. Knowing them, it would end in a disaster with lots of unnecessary drama and a big avoidable headache.
 
I've been a punk/cyber/fairy type for years, and I still have relatives getting used to it.
 
Still undecided if I should tell anyone besides my wife. I mean why? I don't get that rumble about gay coming outs either. Nobody is running around having to tell people that he likes to do it with the opposite sex. Why should a homosexual person tell everyone their preference? Why should we tell anybody what we like to wear under our clothing?

I know it can be a real relief and an act of earning a big chunk of freedom and peace of mind. For some. But all of this is sooooo intimate. I can't stop asking. Why should anybody know that we like dydees? And if you even are medically dependent - why should anybody know that you LIKE them? I can see no real benefit.
 
Telling my current roommate wasn't just one of the best things I've ever done as a DL: it's one of the best things I've ever done from an overall wellness perspective. Telling her allowed me to move being a DL in from the shadows. I figured she'd be understanding, and she was, but what I wasn't expecting was the effect that telling her would have on me. That night I turned one of my dresser drawers into a diaper drawer. (Later, I showed her an M4 and a Tena Slip Maxi; she also has a standing offer to try one which, to the best of my knowledge, she hasn't yet taken ;)). I started wearing around the apartment. I grew more confident buying diapers to the point where a clerk at one of the medical supply stores recognized me the last time I bought M4s. And I've gotten a lot closer to understanding why I wear diapers. All this has happened within the past seven months.

I'm still not completely comfortable wearing around her. If I'm wearing when I know she's home for the night I'll use Air Pluses or Lilles instead of M4s or Molicares. A few weeks ago she came home unexpectedly while I was wearing my first 24/7. She then proceeded to plant herself on the living room floor and start up a conversation, in the middle of which my phone rang. I had no choice but to get up and waddle out of the room. I think I kept the crinkling to a minimum. But what's cool is that even if I didn't, or if she noticed that my sweats were sagging unusually low, she wouldn't have said anything, anyway. Of course, I'm still paranoid about her knowing that I'm wearing; it'll take me a while to get over that, I think, even though during subsequent conversations about diapers she told me she's never known me to be wearing. But anyway, I can't recommend enough sharing this with the people you live with.
 
hti24 said:
Telling my current roommate wasn't just one of the best things I've ever done as a DL: it's one of the best things I've ever done from an overall wellness perspective. Telling her allowed me to move being a DL in from the shadows. I figured she'd be understanding, and she was, but what I wasn't expecting was the effect that telling her would have on me. That night I turned one of my dresser drawers into a diaper drawer. (Later, I showed her an M4 and a Tena Slip Maxi; she also has a standing offer to try one which, to the best of my knowledge, she hasn't yet taken ;)). I started wearing around the apartment. I grew more confident buying diapers to the point where a clerk at one of the medical supply stores recognized me the last time I bought M4s. And I've gotten a lot closer to understanding why I wear diapers. All this has happened within the past seven months.

I'm still not completely comfortable wearing around her. If I'm wearing when I know she's home for the night I'll use Air Pluses or Lilles instead of M4s or Molicares. A few weeks ago she came home unexpectedly while I was wearing my first 24/7. She then proceeded to plant herself on the living room floor and start up a conversation, in the middle of which my phone rang. I had no choice but to get up and waddle out of the room. I think I kept the crinkling to a minimum. But what's cool is that even if I didn't, or if she noticed that my sweats were sagging unusually low, she wouldn't have said anything, anyway. Of course, I'm still paranoid about her knowing that I'm wearing; it'll take me a while to get over that, I think, even though during subsequent conversations about diapers she told me she's never known me to be wearing. But anyway, I can't recommend enough sharing this with the people you live with.
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I can attest to this. I told my mom and she was excepting of it. Now I know I have a special situation and I would have never told her if I knew she wouldn't approve, but she does and I do my part by just wearing under my clothes or jammies and only wear just a diaper when I'm all alone. Also I have worn a 24/7 to a class final once and no one notices. It doesn't really matter what diaper you are wearing to a degree. Most diapers will go unnoticed under jeans. Except maybe cloth prefolds. I would stay away from those out and about.
 
Hello All,

Well obviously I am out about being AB. But it wasn't all at once. It's been a slow process that took 10 years to fully get to. I first started out telling my mom. She didn't take it well. She had a good idea. She found my baby stuff as a late teen. She would always throw my stuff away. One time she found diapers (she didn't know I was wearing those due to bed wetting back then) and threatened me saying if she found them again she would throw them on the front lawn of the apartment building and tell everyone they were mine. She never did it.

But for the most part I was trying to keep it secret. But still living at home at 22 (renting a room) I was so stressed out worrying about her going into my room (she does not respect privacy) I was afraid she would find my baby stuff while looking for something else. So I sat her down and told her I was AB and a basic description of what that was. She flipped out saying I was crazy and should be in a psych ward. Her boyfriend thought I was a pedophile. We were actually talking about this the other day funny enough. But my mom's boyfriend the other day was saying as the years passed he saw it had nothing to do with actual children and stopped thinking that.

Once my mom knew though is when I was finally able to be myself. She got a good shock 2 months later when I built my crib while she was at work. By the time she got home I was done. It wasn't painted, but it was built. When she went to work it was a bed. She came into my room and was like "Stanley, do you.....OH MY GOD, oh my god.....oh...my...god" and was just backing out of my room in shock. Yea, didn't go well. I had planned to tell her about it first. But she came around to it.

These days she's perfectly fine with it. She walked in on me awhile back while I was just in a diaper (it was during the summer heat) in my crib drinking a bottle. She came in and I tossed a sheet over me waiting for her to say something like "oh my god, I didn't need to see that" or something. But instead she shocked me with "oh please, it's not the first time I have seen you in your crib in your diaper drinking a bottle". Long way she has come in 15 years since she found out.

The family found out through my mom. Most didn't accept it. And that was fine as I have a VERY dysfunctional family and didn't talk to any of them anyway. I only found out their reaction from my mom. "Did you know what your grandpa had to say about your crib?" kind of thing.

Friends, up till I did the Taboo show only a select few knew I was AB. At best most only knew I wore diapers for the incontinence. But the friends who did know I was AB were fine with me being AB, just didn't want me to do it around them. Which is perfectly fine. My mom was the same. It doesn't leave my room (when I lived with her). Which again was fine.

When I got approached for the show I had to do some serious thinking about if I was ok with EVERYONE knowing. And in my situation, I was. Being on disability I didn't have to worry about a boss finding out and firing me or laying me off over it. Family and most friend's already knew, so only a hand full of friends would find out, and I told them prior to the airing. My apartment building manager already knew so wasn't a issue there. He had come in to fix the ceiling in my nursery from water damage, and he said he didn't care what I was into as long as it wasn't against the law. And everyone else, I was fine with a comment here and there.

Aside from the whole Senator crap, it's been a very positive experience. Funny enough my doctors office just switched sides of the building and is now in the old pediatrician space. They left up the kiddie decals and stuff which I think is funny. I come in and he's totally fine the baby thing. He asks me how the role playing is going and we chat for a bit.

While out and about, I sometimes get a comment of "hey....baby!" or sometimes get the jerk "Your sick, you know that?". But since the airing it's only been 4 mean/negative comments in person while out in public over the last 6 years. Most people either have had nice things to say or don't say anything at all. I had a grandma come up and say she just loved the show and asked if she could hug me and then told me to be good....lol. A group of kids from a high school stopped me in the produce section and asked if they could take a group picture. Another woman stopped me in frozen foods last month and said she enjoyed the show and asked if she could take my picture. Similar at the fish store.

So yea, most people are very cool about it to be honest. Sometimes, if you can, you just have to be yourself and forget if people approve or not. Life is too darn short to try to be what everyone else wants you to be. And I have been much happier for being my toddler self and end hiding it. Having someone know your AB shouldn't be a major issue that it is right now. It's not like your dressing in a sleeper or onesie and going to the store or work or something in public. I hear someone's into S&M I am like "ah ok". Just as long as they don't do it around me I am perfectly fine with what someone is into. Anyway, that's me. It's been a good experience for me for the most part.

-Baby Stanley
 
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I'm sure there are situations and certain circles where coming out would not be of benefit to anybody and even for those (mostly) who have revealed themselves to friends and family, I am sure that many of them will be associated with some groups where they would draw the line where telling them is concerned. This is a shame, but it is a reality.

On the other hand, I have revealed my IC issues to a few close and carefully selected individuals (although I'm sure plenty of other people must have worked it out by now) and they have been absolutely fine with it. My gf knows about my AB side though. So in comparison to some of the very brave stories on here, whilst I have only revealed my IC issues to some certain trusted close ones and nothing about being AB, I've still felt a massive benefit as a result plus a huge sense of relief and self-acceptance. I do not regret this at all and I say that if you are very careful and you want to share any details about IC or ABDL with somebody that you 100% trust then you might want to consider it. It's very therapeutical and feels great :)
 
I haven't had a bad experience yet. I told my twin sister in middle school then finally my mom when I went to college. She was fine with it as long as I didn't flaunt it to much. She even sometimes moves my cloth diapers from the wash to the dryer when I forget with no words mentioned. it's kinda like she knows I know, nothing needs to be said and we go about our everyday lives living together since I go to college locally. As long as I'm helpful around the house and doing my homework then that is all that matters. I only really tell if it is this kind of situation where it's a lot better then trying to always hide it. The only other time is if someone asks me which is really rare.
 
i am a open ab/dl and i was taken to a ab/dl party (because i have no car) i would never get to go if i was still hiding
 
Honestly wish i could be as brave but i can't :(
 
kik91 said:
the pros of being out as a little (rather than the cons we get constantly)
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I have to say, one pro I can really put down of being an *ABDL* (not necessarily a little) is not having to go into public restrooms. I never liked the awkward encounters in restrooms (not the reason I'm an ABDL though) and being an ABDL allows me to avoid that.
 
I won't be telling any of my family or friends, because I grew up in a conservative religion ( and still practice). I do intend on telling a future wife, ideally before we get engaged so if she doesn't like it, she can dump me without having to explain to my family why we broke off an engagement.

I once told a girl when I was 11. She thought I was weird. That was before I knew this community existed.
 
I live in a very liberal area with very close friends. I came out to two of them about a year ago and by this point I'm really open about it. They didn't really care when I first told them so literally nothing changed, but because I made a big deal out of it they never said anything about it. By now, though Its something we talk about a lot and in front of other people, but only as a joke or a way for us to tease each other (such as jokingly flirting, the joy of being able to share the incredibly awkward moment when something relevant to diapers happens, asking if I can play as a 2 year old for a D&D campaign, or the idea of our history professor killing himself when dumped into a babyfur convention due to the sheer horror of the situation.) Like I said, it's mostly for fun, but I can talk about things that I couldn't really say anywhere else in the ABDL community. You can't really expect them to ever do you any favors, and they won't initiate a conversation about it because ABDL, from their perspective, is the type of thing people don't really need to know about (like vore or genital mutilation because they can't have ramifications on anything outside of sex and can be kept private as opposed to something like your gender or orientation.) And for me I don't even get any cons, I happen to like a show my best friend loved when he was a lot younger and still has fond memories of, and he didn't accuse me of enjoying it as a sex thing and It's instead something we can share and genuinely enjoy without the thought of me corrupting it with sex.

TLDR: The only reason to come out is so that you and your really good friends can make jokes about it, in front of other people who think its a joke like everything else you say that's sexual, and being ABDL is not the same thing as being gay or trans unless you're pamperchu.
 
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