Telling a Friend You Wear a Diaper- Experiences?

[pugglesmuggles]

I am curious what people's experiences have been who have decided to tell a close friend about their IC issues, and as an extension on that.... that you wear a diaper. I'll share two of my experiences, but for starters, I am nearly totally UIC and wear diapers 24/7, and have been this way for about 3 years after slowly losing bladder control. I'm getting used to it myself, and in the past few months, even though I still go out and see friends and hang after work and such, I've just been so isolated with this condition because I always have a "secret" I'm trying to keep. Another part of the reason why I decided to tell a couple friends who I see a lot is because I've recently switched diapers of choice; I used to wear the Abena M4's, which were super-discreet and effective, but their recent redesign and rebranding into the "Slip" or whatever made them, in my opinion, not nearly as good. So after trying a few others, I settled on Northshore's MegaMax diapers. They're a bit overkill for my needs, but the plastic backing is so much easier to wear and I feel entirely protected by them. The only downside is the plastic-backed crinkle noise. So I wanted to get out ahead of it with one friend-

The first friend I told was my best friend from growing up- we're lucky we still live in the same city. I had been mulling it over for weeks and finally just texted him saying Hey let's meet for breakfast, I want to chat about something important. I didn't even let myself pause before sending- that way I couldn't back out. He was all concerned though, and when we met up 2 days later, I said something to the effect of: "I've been dealing with a medical issue for a little while now that's been affecting my life and I want you to know." He freaked out and thought I had cancer, so I continued and just said I've slowly been losing bladder control, and the doc doesn't don't really know why yet, so you may notice at some point that I'm wearing a diaper because of it, and I just wanted you to be aware so it wasn't a surprise in case you noticed. He had a couple questions like what work was like with diapers, if anyone had ever seen, if I still worked out, etc. But then actually he got a little pissed at me (sorta playfully) for making him worry for 2 days that it was something more serious. He was like "so you're not dying, you're not moving, and you're not even really actually sick... shit dude I don't give a crap what kind of underwear you have on!" So that was a very positive reaction.

The other situation was far less planned. I have a friend from college that was in town for business- we see each other a couple times a year for vacations and when one of us is in the other's city. It was summer, so it was hot, and I usually only wear a t-shirt and shorts, and of course my diaper. We met up at a brewery (he's super into that scene) and he was late, so before he even got there I felt myself wet my diaper once, so you know, the bulge factor was in play. After a couple drinks he got up to use the restroom, and when he came back, he just said "You uh, might want to pull down the back of your shirt- I don't think you want the whole bar seeing that." I went white and (Idk why) just went "What're you talking about?" as I (of course) yanked my shirt down. He said that because he has 2 young kids he knows what a diaper's waistband look like, and wanted to know why I was wearing one. So I just blurted out the basic explanation. He actually had no idea they made adult diapers like that (I was wearing a MegaMax) but suggested I be more careful about letting it show- he's the "unsolicited advice" friend- we've all got one of those I'm sure.

So those were two of my experiences- both more or less positive. Anyone else out there have experiences to share?

 

[NotTheAverageMan]

I never saw a reason to tell anyone about my medical condition which requires me to wear and use diapers. I see a diaper as my personal underwear, and It’s of no concern to anyone, do I care about what underwear my friends wear, that being their wife’s thong or boxers, hell no, it’s simply not worth a conversation, part of the reason is also that for sure I worry that they would perceive me differently Simply due to diapers are seen as something babies and elderly wears, not adults who are otherwise living a normal life with jobs, family and hobbies, like anyone else.

however if I got the question from someone be it a colleague or a friend whether I’m wearing a diaper I would be honest in my reply, telling them I have a medical reason that requires me to wear protection, and leave it that.

 

[Deleted member 74705]

I never saw a reason to tell anyone about my medical condition which requires me to wear and use diapers. I see a diaper as my personal underwear, and It’s of no concern to anyone, do I care about what underwear my friends wear, ...

Well said! A diaper is just my underwear. Period. If a situation calls for a preemptive explanation, then I will do so.

The only few times I've told a few friends about my diapering issue was out of necessity. Once because we were traveling together and didn't want the inevitable used diaper disposal situation to be an issue. We didn't want to put our friends in the awkward situation of "what's that"?

The other situation was because a dear friend was battling bladder cancer and was told that as a result of his pending surgery he might need to use protection for quite a while afterwards (in not for the rest of his life). It was so freaking him out that I let him know of my situation.

Thus far, never any embarrassment. Perhaps a little "shame" that I'm different; but oh well!

 

[LordDuque]

I never saw a reason to tell anyone about my medical condition which requires me to wear and use diapers. I see a diaper as my personal underwear, and It’s of no concern to anyone, do I care about what underwear my friends wear, that being their wife’s thong or boxers, hell no, it’s simply not worth a conversation, part of the reason is also that for sure I worry that they would perceive me differently Simply due to diapers are seen as something babies and elderly wears, not adults who are otherwise living a normal life with jobs, family and hobbies, like anyone else.

however if I got the question from someone be it a colleague or a friend whether I’m wearing a diaper I would be honest in my reply, telling them I have a medical reason that requires me to wear protection, and leave it that.

I think the opposite, and believe there’s quite a few reasons to make your closest persons aware of it. Being said that, I think so because it’s worth to me, but I think the matter to us is living it with any complex and sure of oneself. So if you do (and seems so) I’m anyone to discuss about it a single word. Furthermore, I encourage you to keep behavin that way

 

[Dry247]

I've told my friends I couldn't make it to the bathroom before , but we were just joking about getting older

 

[TeeMousy]

Even though I started wearing diapers in the beginning for occasional urge incontinence. I did not tell my friend until I discovered ABDL diapers. He was a little surprised and did not get it but he was OK with it. But then he knows I have always been a little odd anyways LOL.

 

[SparkyDog]

I've told several friends & family members im IC & need diapers
it always goes the same way :

"Diapers? what about medications or surgery must be something they can do so you don't need to wear diapers "
sometimes they say you need to see a different doctor or specialist
Explain its all been done
Conversation basically ends then as generally people are extremely uncomfortable discussing health issues. Not just IC but anything
Its like when someone asks "hey how's it going?" If you say anything but good or ok people don't know how to move forward

So I basically stopped talking to people outside of small talk because no one wants or knows how to talk more serious conversations

 

[LordDuque]

I've told several friends & family members im IC & need diapers
it always goes the same way :

"Diapers? what about medications or surgery must be something they can do so you don't need to wear diapers "
sometimes they say you need to see a different doctor or specialist
Explain its all been done
Conversation basically ends then as generally people are extremely uncomfortable discussing health issues. Not just IC but anything
Its like when someone asks "hey how's it going?" If you say anything but good or ok people don't know how to move forward

So I basically stopped talking to people outside of small talk because no one wants or knows how to talk more serious conversations

no one wants or knows how to talk more serious conversations

I agree with that but with one exception: those who are truly and genuinely concerned by them. This is your authentic friends. Having said that I must recognize they’re no great number. And if someone thinks he’s got a bunch of real friends, he’s wrong. Who’s there at anytime, when things go perfect but also when you look victim of some spell? These are your real friends. Take care of them, they’re scarce and priceless.

 

[HalMidLife]

I told my best friend about it, for two reasons. One is I just really needed to tell someone other than my wife - I’m not sure why, but I just did. And purely on that alone, it really felt good to sort of get it off my chest. It helped it to feel like not such a big deal.

Second, because we were in his garage having a few beers, I wanted to prevent an “elephant in the room” situation. So I then said, “just letting you know that you will hear the occasional plastic crinkling sound from me, and I didn’t want it to become awkward for you worrying that I might be embarrassed by it - it’s totally fine” And it worked. He said he appreciated knowing that I wasn’t bothered, and he then said, “and I swear I probably wouldn’t have even noticed. I can’t tell you’re wearing anything other than normal underwear”.

 

[sledder23]

I’ve told family, but due to the discreet nature of what I wear, no one has ever asked or suspected that I wear diapers for urge incontinence. I really don’t feel the need to discuss my underwear with others (outside of this forum of course), but if I am ever asked, I’d tell them that I have a medical condition and have been managing it with diapers. They let me live a normal lifestyle without side effects or other awkward equipment. They are just the best solution.

 

[Babybear2006]

I remember having the discussion with my ex fiance when we first started dating and wanted to sleep together. I told her that I used to wet the bed and wore diapers as a kid and she to me that she remembered that I used to wet my pants at school because she remembered me having to go get changed at school. That night after my shower I asked her to get me some clothes out of my bag to wear to bed. As we was getting in bed she asked me if I was still having bedwetting problems and wore diapers, I tried to lie but she pulled out my diapers that I had brought and asked me why I had them, so I told her yes. She told me that I should probably put it on, good thing that I did because I was soaked the next morning.

 

[UrgentWees]

I have told a friend that I was road tripping with recently that I wear nappies as he wanted to know why I was bringing my back pack out of the car and into the toilet stall with me every couple of stops. He was fine with it and told me that he had already worked out I am a bedwetter because we have shared a room a couple of times and he has seen the bulge under my pyjama pants and heard the crinkle. He was kind about it told me that he’d worn nappies for bedwetting until his mid teenage years and still has trouble staying dry if he has a big night on the beers.

 

[Zeke]

A friend of mine was helping do something that required two of us to accomplish at my home. He’s been being treated for prostate cancer and I asked him how that was going. He mentioned that he was having some difficulty with urine leakage so I thought he might feel a little better about his situation if he knew he wasn’t alone in his experience. So I told him that I had been dual ic and wearing diapers 24/7 ever since I had a seizure in the Fall of 2015. He wasn’t too surprised, not that he was aware of my wearing, but it didn’t seem to have the affect that I desired in regards to his feelings about his prostate situation. He kind of disregarded it so I never brought it up again. Other than that experience I’ve never felt compelled to share my condition with anyone else other than medical personnel.

 

[Zeke]

I agree with that but with one exception: those who are truly and genuinely concerned by them. This is your authentic friends. Having said that I must recognize they’re no great number. And if someone thinks he’s got a bunch of real friends, he’s wrong. Who’s there at anytime, when things go perfect but also when you look victim of some spell? These are your real friends. Take care of them, they’re scarce and priceless.

A lack of real friends is why many seek professional psychological or psychiatric help. They take the place of real friends listening as you talk through your problems and often these friends have as much insight into your condition as the professionals do but without the huge bill afterwards. As many lack the ability or desire to retain confidentiality real friends become even more rare these days. I’ve had not only the privilege of having such a friend but also being trusted to be such a friend to another. These real friends are what people got through their problems with prior to the advent of psychology and psychiatry and served humanity well for eons without the exchange of money.

 

[Zeke]

I never saw a reason to tell anyone about my medical condition which requires me to wear and use diapers. I see a diaper as my personal underwear, and It’s of no concern to anyone, do I care about what underwear my friends wear, that being their wife’s thong or boxers, hell no, it’s simply not worth a conversation, part of the reason is also that for sure I worry that they would perceive me differently Simply due to diapers are seen as something babies and elderly wears, not adults who are otherwise living a normal life with jobs, family and hobbies, like anyone else.

however if I got the question from someone be it a colleague or a friend whether I’m wearing a diaper I would be honest in my reply, telling them I have a medical reason that requires me to wear protection, and leave it that.

It been my experience that others perception of your wearing is closely related to how you perceive yourself when wearing diapers. If they’re just a method of dealing with a medical condition and you don’t have any shame or reluctance about your using diapers as e method of containment they won’t see anything demeaning or shameful about you doing so either. It’s a perfectly acceptable method of dealing with a medical condition and that should be satisfactory for anyone concerned.

 

[RoseofThorns]

I'm not telling anyone who doesn't need to know. My hubby knows and i did tell my sister when i was visiting her. She just took in stride as any other feminine product. I'm going to tell Mom at some point. IDK how that'll go though. If/when gets worse I'll tell my boss.

 

[iam32bit]

My best friend who lives with me knows since it is kinda hard to hide them. I was so nervous telling her, but she didn't seem phased at all by them.

 

[Bigbabybret]

I have quite a few friends that know about diapers. from long term friends to recent ones, also of course my pca's know, as does some family. To tell the truth not sure which ones know i do wear diapers, i'd assume all, but have been surprised.

As for the whole thing with telling, really havent had to tell many. But did have a time I got really ill at a fly-in and was not able to fly for a few days and didnt bring much supplies with, had to have some friends drive me by a pharma to get some diapers, and also otc medications too. They didnt know i used them, but was taken aback by that. so i guess people just dont notice like someone that wears them does.

 

[Wetshisbed]

Ne at really had a problem. Most people know I wear nappies. I had to tell a friend that I travelled to the states with as we were sharing a room with. He wasn't bothered. We have known each other since our teens. He just said so what you used to piss your bed all the time when we were younger.

 

[greatlake5]

I've always been incontinent. So when I was a kid everyone knew. Even in elementary school. Junior high school had a few people knew along with teachers but few talked about it. I lived in Catholic school and the nuns and other teachers kept things cool. No real bulling. Catholic high school was the same way. By then I was pretty good to hide my diaper. In college I had my own solo room until I had my own apartment. I never discussed my IC with anyone. Now I own my own business and I have a personal office and bathroom. As far as I know, nobody knows and I don't tell anyone. I do have a couple of close friends, some of them knows and other suspect. I have one particular friend that I've known for almost 5 years. She's one of my best friends. I never told her until she started asking me. She actually asked if I was wearing a diaper. That was a tough one but I finally admitted it. As it turns out, she had suspected for quite a while. Believe it or not, she's now my partner. We've been together (as boyfriend / girlfriend) for almost a year. Other than family and close friends I don't tell anyone. It's private and personal.