So that happened...

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swbell

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  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Obligatory note: Long time lurker, first time poster.

So I bought home a case of adult diapers home and my mother screamed at me how people are gonna talk about my "abnormality" and called me a devil's child.

I don't feel affected at all because I bought it as a way to relieve myself from stress that I have with my diagnosis of major depression.

How should I deal with this? I'm a DL.
 
So what if it's abnormal? I'm AB Normal myself! Normality is subjective. If I didn't wear diapers all of a sudden, that would abnormal since I usually do. I think your head is in the right place in that you don't see this as a bad thing. And it's not. Stay weird, stay happy, stay positive!

Oh, and I use this lifestyle myself to help treat my borderline personality disorder. Without it I could point out that my urges to self harm would increase. It's calming and actually makes me feel normal. Geez, there's that dumb word again!

No self harm issues at all in 2017. I might be onto something.
 
Well, sorry if I come across as insensitive, but it's your life, live it how you want and don't listen to anyone who would stop you. You're an adult now, your mother can't control your life anymore.
Besides, other people won't know about it unless she tells them, so it'd be her own fault.
 
Tell your mom you are sorry she is embarrassed by your decisions and that you will keep her in mind when you use discretion in not letting the neighborhood in on your private life. Tell her that it is an adult decision that you have already handled wisely and will continue to handle wisely and if you need any more advise you will let her know. Sorry she saw your package and overreacted.

Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk
 
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I hate having people be told how to live their life because it isn't "normal" or "right. I like to mock micromanaging people with "beep boop not social normaility beep boop not allowed all must be same beep boop boop". We're adults and we made an adult decision to do what we choose. I can't tell you how irritating it is with my grandma telling me how to do every little thing like I'm some deadbrain nut. As much as I love her, I can't stand this controlling part. I have to do this in secrecy since privacy and respect of choices doesn't seem to exist in this house half the time.
 
The fact that she called you "abnormal" and a "devil's child" speaks volumes more about HER mentality than it does anything about you. It shows just how simple and close-minded she is.

Bro...YOU ARE NOT abnormal or a devil child. You are you. And you don't have to explain yourself or justify yourself to ANYBODY. EVER. Now I understand how that isn't the easiest stance to defend at this time in your life...but it is the truth.

From what you said, it sounds like no explanation you provide her will be satisfactory and regardless of what you say to her...she will be resistant. It sounds like the battle with her will be forever uphill.

In my opinion, I'd say that the best explanation you can provide her is "it's just something I have to do. It helps me. You may not understand and it isn't your job to understand. The only thing I need from you is support." Or something along that line. She just needs to understand that you have to take care of yourself by whatever means necessary. If she wants to hear details that might upset her...well then tell her. But its all ON HER if she finds it necessary to pry.

Best wishes.
 
It says you're incontinent, so ask her if she says the same thing about people who need glasses or wheelchairs. If she interferes with you obtaining medical tools that you need, you should probably give the cops a call. Parent or not, loons who do things like throw away their children's medicine or crutches in the name of religion will get in hot water, and diapers are precisely that for incontinent people.
 
Heh, I'd personally take being called a ''devil's child'' as an inadvertent compliment, seeing that in Satanism, Satan is a symbol that represents non-conformity, carnality, enlightenment, etc...

In other words, forget about trying to be ''normal.'' It's more trouble than what it's worth, and you'll be much happier just being you instead.
 
swbell said:
So I bought home a case of adult diapers home and my mother screamed at me how people are gonna talk about my "abnormality" and called me a devil's child.
Click to expand...

Try to take comfort in knowing your mother's reaction is not "normal". She's less concerned about you and more concerned about how others will look at her because of you. That's not healthy, but we do see it somewhat frequently around here.

Part of ADISC's mission is to help provide support for people that can't get it through the normal channels, which is the situation it looks like you're in. We'll be here for you.

As for your question on how to deal with it, you have three options when you're in a "toxic environment":

1- you can try to change the environment. but people can be hard to change. there are some successes stories, but the odds are pretty badly stacked against you. you can try, but don't bet too many chips.

2- you can relocate. that's the most common suggestion you'll get here after you've tried the above without success. it can also be the most work, and isn't an option for a lot of people. it's a common suggestion because it's got the best chance of resolving your problem. But we see a lot of people here with disabilities, and for them moving is difficult, impractical, or just plain impossible.

3- you can tolerate it. It depresses me to see people choose to stay in a toxic environment, but some people have their reasons, and for some it's the only option. You'll get some resistance to that plan here because we like to help people solve problems that appear to be solvable. If it sounds like you're truly stuck, we're a shoulder to cry on and a room to vent in, and will help you find ways to cope and make the best of a bad situation. Otherwise we're going to encourage you to try one of the other two options to improve your situation.

Your circumstances will determine which options are available to you, and it's difficult for us to fully understand your situation without a fair amount of discussion. Let us know how we can help.
 
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swbell said:
called me a devil's child
Click to expand...

...and what does that make her...?

More seriously, it's kind of normal for parents to have a knee-jerk reaction when learning their child is "abnormal". More often than not, they'll ask and blame themselves what it is they did wrong that led to this "abnormality".

Maybe give her some time and eventually have a long, meaningful discussion with her (only if she's open to it) and see if she loves you enough to accept you as you are. If not, well, it's your life, so do as you please. You're not hurting anyone and no one will talk about you unless someone tells them about it. Everyone else she knows have their own kinks, but she (probably) doesn't know about them, so she doesn't talk about it, right?
 
I swear, I'm always shocked and upset when I hear about parents reacting this way, but it seems that experiences like these unfortunately, are par for the course.

I had a similar reaction when I was a teenager and my mother found a stash of baby items I was hiding. My mother went on about my abnormalities too, saying that it just "isn't normal", she also went out of her way to shame me in the hopes that I would abandon this interest. As adults, we like to think that our parents truly do love us unconditionally and we hope that if they have any apprehensions regarding how we lead our lives that they just keep it to themselves. For some reason though, parental love doesn't always equate to parental understanding.

All I would say to you is to take it in stride. You're not doing anything wrong, you're not hurting others and most of all, everyone has some aspect of their life that is a little strange.

If I was your parent, I would be supportive. Also, it goes without saying, that I too retreat to diapers and babyhood as a means of coping with depression and recovering when life gets a little hard. I'd much rather be interested in something that can be wholesome and healing like diapers and regression than something destructive and harmful like hard drugs.

Grin and bear it for now. Keep indulging this in private and maybe on the down-low for the next little bit and if she doesn't mention it again then you can just keep on quietly enjoying this side of yourself. From experience, this'll most likely blow over and when you're out on your own, negative opinions such as these just won't matter.
 
Poofybutt said:
My mother went on about my abnormalities too, saying that it just "isn't normal"
Click to expand...

"Normal" is so overrated!
 
swbell said:
Obligatory note: Long time lurker, first time poster.

So I bought home a case of adult diapers home and my mother screamed at me how people are gonna talk about my "abnormality" and called me a devil's child.

I don't feel affected at all because I bought it as a way to relieve myself from stress that I have with my diagnosis of major depression.

How should I deal with this? I'm a DL.
Click to expand...
I have walked your road. My mother screamed at me as well. It hurt like hell. I also was only 15. I kept buying and using though. Never give up your diaper habit.

Sent from my U673C using Tapatalk
 
I remember when I was 18, and still living at home. I couldn't get out of that house fast enough! I don't know what your plans are, or if it's within your power, but if it is, this is probably a good time for you to think about going out on your own. 19 years old is quite often a very very difficult age for both parents and their kids. This simply goes with the territory. If it's not within your power, then contrary to what many others here have said, you may not be able to do everything that you want while the roof over your head is being paid for by someone other than yourself.

True, your mom calling you the "devil's child" may be a bit childish in and of itself, and I would bet that little phrase has been used more than once, but my friend, if you're stuck there for now, a little bit of honey will go a lot further with your mom than a lot of vinegar. Of course your mom has no business calling you that, you're a full and complete human being, just like all of the rest of us. My suggestion: Yes, do what you have to with diapers, but keep it as private as reasonably possible, out of respect for others in your house and neighborhood, and most of all out of respect for yourself. Don't flaunt it in the faces of others, but don't be secretive to a fault about it either. Be reasonable, respectful, and discreet about it, just as most of us tend to close the door when we use the bathroom when others are present.

For the majority of us, diapers are closely related to sexuality, and flaunting them in front of others in an "unwelcome way" is little different from flaunting one's sexuality upon the unwelcoming ears of others, and perhaps even more offensive, because it's usually less well understood. My guess is that this may not be the first time in recent days that such anger has flowed between your mom and yourself. The cycle of anger is often harder to stop than it is to start, but you have to start somewhere. Even if she were psychotic, and of this I have no idea, just a little attempt at kindness, patience, and gentleness, over time, will always get you much further than any amount of anger or contempt, no matter how justified.

I hope you have a good therapist who encourages these types of approaches, and if so, then perhaps you could discuss this whole matter with your mom with a little assistance from your therapist.

Finally, if at all possible, please set your sights on setting out on your own just as soon as you reasonably can. Why not?
 
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Devils child?

Abnormal. Right. So I guess this entire site is abnormal? No. There are many of us. I would try explaining to your mom why you are wearing these- and get some help for your depressive symptoms.
 
Hi, swbell.

I'm very sorry that this happened to you. We all have family issues, some more than others. I've had similar experiences with my family, and although I can't pretend to know how you must feel, I am familiar with the pain.
You need to keep in mind a few things:

First of all, you are an adult. You have the freedom and responsibility to choose how you will live your life, and cope with your problems. Only you can determine who you are.

Second, you are not abnormal. There are millions of people all over the world that struggle with incontinence, so why should you be ashamed of wearing diapers for necessity or pleasure? There is nothing wrong with you, and nothing your mother says can change that.

Third, if your mother cannot be supportive or make any effort to try understanding, then she is clearly more concerned with how this effects her rather than you. If she refuses to make any effort to understand, then she should not be involved in that aspect of your life.


My advice is to hang in there. Don't burn your relationships. Family can be difficult and painful, but they should always be more help than harm. If you are caught in a toxic environment, then you need to find a way to get help. Your health, mental and physical, should take precedence over whether you are accepted by others.

If you ever need advice, or a friend to talk to, please DM me and I can give you a way to contact me.
 
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