Significant Other’s Outlook

[Tomtomthedl]

...And this is one of the main reasons why I'm single.
There are others, but my diaper wearing is a big one.
Unfortunately it's not a lifestyle choice, but a medical need.
I'd love a 1, but I'd be very happy with a 2. However I could NOT live with a 3. That's non-negotiable.
There's a lot of disbelief and stigma around my health issues (both separate and combined), and bringing a potential partner up to speed with everything is going to take a lot of work - and energy - anyway. I don't need someone who can't see that.
I'm really not an easy person to be in a relationship with, for a number of reasons.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

That's a really healthy way to look at this. Relationships are about compromise. Yes it hurts when our SO's don't want to see or be a part of this side of ourselves. However, we also can't see things from their perspective. Being happy with option 2 is not a bad thing. #1 would be wonderful but as for #3? No one should ever have to completely conform to someone else's standards in order to be in a happy relationship. Both parties need to be willing to give, as well as take.

There's also nothing wrong with avoiding relationships. I'm an extremely introverted engineer. I often wonder if I should have avoided marriage.

Well said to the both of you.

 

[slimjiminy]

2) accepts/tolerates your wearing/using

I don't need my wife to wear diapers just because I need them for my own incontinence (nor do I need her to change me). If down the road she ends up needing them, then that is ok with me. That would give us more to talk about but otherwise doesn't really change anything.

 

[Tomtomthedl]

I don't need my wife to wear diapers just because I need them for my own incontinence (nor do I need her to change me). If down the road she ends up needing them, then that is ok with me. That would give us more to talk about but otherwise doesn't really change anything.

I would agree. I don't need the wife to where or change me. Although she did put a diaper on me the other day for the first time. I certainly don't need that to be part of it. I am honestly over the moon that she is accepting of it. Couldn't ask for any more than that.

She even initiated sex the other day while I was diapered. So we did, while I was diapered. It was something else to say the least. In a good way. But I certainly don't NEED it. Like I said just happy she's accepting of it.

 

[Diaperman95]

Girlfriend of 2 years accepts it. She hates the word mommy but has said that she likes to take care of me.
But she rarly does it and only if I ask her, which I rarly do because she says she's always tired or have some other excuse.
She rarly initiates anything and never comments or talks about it unless i ask her.

And as of now I don't know if she really likes it or just accepts it because she likes the normal part of me.
But I don't want it to be just my thing. I want it to be more our thing. Like with a real mother and child.
But right now it's my baby stuff, my diapers, my problem...

At least she is open to you doing it. It sounds like that is a lot more than a few people on here would love for their spouse too.

I am not into the AB world and am a DL because they let me live my life. My wife has zero understanding of this community. She thought it was weird I joined until I shared some post with her of other peoples struggles with incontinence. But she has called me dad ever since my baby girl was a baby. But just because I am a dad not because I treat her like a kid. Even though she can be a big kid sometimes . LOL

 

[kinkygaybottom]

I suffer PTSD, and as soon as my hubby saw how much I relaxed as soon as I was diapered, he is fully behind me, and many times he will tell me to diaper up if I am getting stressed.

He does not wear, but has once to show me its nothing, he even had a wee in it.

Its not sexual for us, except that it can really exchange our bondage sessions when hubby restrains me, he can do it now for much longer, as I am never needing out for a wee.

 

[littlefun]

I would say 3. She thinks they are a waste and I'm to young to need or use them. I started after my IBS similar issues till I got on pills that helped a lot. On occasion I have urine leakage. I enjoy them and helps with stress as well. However she's still doesn't care.

 

[ChrisKrinkle]

2 for me. I can wear whenever I want but she's not into it

 

[dprpantsnpypants]

Complicated. There have been times when #1 is kind of true but she does not really like the diapers and has said many times she would prefer it if they went away. This makes things akward and uncomfortable. For this reason #2 is more generally true, but only kind of. Over the years there have been levels of acceptance but also many things that have not been accepted. For example, she didn't like it when I would use a paci for the longest time. There were times when I was allowed to wear one diaper but not two. She has never liked me using my diaper (just pee). Finally, the counter... 'oh, you're wearing a diaper again, that's two nights in a row.....' All of these things have contributed to an increase in shame. And now, at this time it probably #3 that best applies. It's kind of a sad time.

 

[Norfolkdiapersub]

#2 occasionally #1 for my wife.
She knows I wear, she sometimes puts me in them or tells me what 1 to wear or leaves me one out.

And sometimes I have to ask if I can put 1 on. She doesn't care if I wet them but isnt that keen on me messing them. So I usually bribe her to let me mess them. Sometimes she'll force me to have an accident with laxatives as she knows I like her taking control but I have to beg and bribe her to get it (offers of takeaway, ice cream, doing chores etc). Shes only tried changing a messy one once for me and hated it, and has only tried changing wet ones a couple of times, so i have to change myself most of the time.

She has tried wearing three times. Once with a kids pull up in the very early days, once with a medical slip and once with a rearz princess. But she doesn't like it and took them off less than an hour later. But atleast she tried it.

To be honest I'm happy with what she is willing to do, reading some peoples replies I've got it pretty good!

 

[stuckin60s]

#2 occasionally #1 for my wife.
She knows I wear, she sometimes puts me in them or tells me what 1 to wear or leaves me one out.

And sometimes I have to ask if I can put 1 on. She doesn't care if I wet them but isnt that keen on me messing them. So I usually bribe her to let me mess them. Sometimes she'll force me to have an accident with laxatives as she knows I like her taking control but I have to beg and bribe her to get it (offers of takeaway, ice cream, doing chores etc). Shes only tried changing a messy one once for me and hated it, and has only tried changing wet ones a couple of times, so i have to change myself most of the time.

She has tried wearing three times. Once with a kids pull up in the very early days, once with a medical slip and once with a rearz princess. But she doesn't like it and took them off less than an hour later. But atleast she tried it.

To be honest I'm happy with what she is willing to do, reading some peoples replies I've got it pretty good!

You are lucky that she tolerates it at all. I am a secret dl as I have no chance of acceptance at all. My wife would not go for it at all so I don't even try to go there. As I said you are fortunate to have here understanding and acceptance of your kink.

 

[Norfolkdiapersub]

You are lucky that she tolerates it at all. I am a secret dl as I have no chance of acceptance at all. My wife would not go for it at all so I don't even try to go there. As I said you are fortunate to have here understanding and acceptance of your kink.

I am very lucky indeed, I dont need to hide anything from here, infact the cupboard above my wardrobe is my nappy cupboard with about 50 nappies of different varieties in there aswell as stuffers. Plus other stuff under the bed relating to other kinks I have, shes relatively vanilla but partakes for my benefit. Really couldnt ask for better tbh as it's nice to be myself and not have to pretend

 

[stuckin60s]

I am very lucky indeed, I dont need to hide anything from here, infact the cupboard above my wardrobe is my nappy cupboard with about 50 nappies of different varieties in there aswell as stuffers. Plus other stuff under the bed relating to other kinks I have, shes relatively vanilla but partakes for my benefit. Really couldnt ask for better tbh as it's nice to be myself and not have to pretend

Im happy for you you are very lucky.

 

[Forced]

You are lucky that she tolerates it at all. I am a secret dl as I have no chance of acceptance at all. My wife would not go for it at all so I don't even try to go there. As I said you are fortunate to have here understanding and acceptance of your kink.

Does your wife know?
Have you never have the nerve to tell her?

 

[Napincolove]

The wife has just asked me if she needs to order any more Nappies from Amazon as she is currently putting togethrt an order.
Oh now she wants to know how my Kylie pants are working for me ?
I really love my misses and she always enquires how my "supplies" are lasting and she is so willing to go hunting around on the internet to find things at the right price (read into that "bargain" ) she always get them at a far cheaper price than I can find them!
There is very little she foes not know about PUL Pants and disposable Nappies as well as cloth Nappies too

 

[rcane]

At least she is open to you doing it. It sounds like that is a lot more than a few people on here would love for their spouse too.

I am not into the AB world and am a DL because they let me live my life. My wife has zero understanding of this community. She thought it was weird I joined until I shared some post with her of other peoples struggles with incontinence. But she has called me dad ever since my baby girl was a baby. But just because I am a dad not because I treat her like a kid. Even though she can be a big kid sometimes . LOL

Yeah, that makes me feel very privileged and so I shouldn't complain. But at the same time, I feel like there is something missing.
There is so much more kink stuff that I would like to experience, but i don't know if I ever will really find that... I am afraid to do either.

 

[Diaperman95]

Yeah, that makes me feel very privileged and so I shouldn't complain. But at the same time, I feel like there is something missing.
There is so much more kink stuff that I would like to experience, but i don't know if I ever will really find that... I am afraid to do either.

I can understand that. My old gal is a bit old fashion. I guess we both are to a extent. You just don't want to ruin a good thing otherwise. We all have different desires and some of us can suppress some and live without and some cant. But I know this it is so hard to find real true love and many never will so if you have it don't push to hard and mess it up. Take baby steps.

 

[dazednconfused]

Girlfriend of 2 years accepts it. She hates the word mommy but has said that she likes to take care of me.
But she rarly does it and only if I ask her, which I rarly do because she says she's always tired or have some other excuse.
She rarly initiates anything and never comments or talks about it unless i ask her.

And as of now I don't know if she really likes it or just accepts it because she likes the normal part of me.
But I don't want it to be just my thing. I want it to be more our thing. Like with a real mother and child.
But right now it's my baby stuff, my diapers, my problem...

I’m sorry but your expectations are bizarrely far fetched. As you said after two years, she “accepts” it and “hates the word mommy.” Yet you’re surprised that she doesn’t initiate or bring it up to discuss with you? What do you even mean by “take care of you”? She is clearly caring if she is tolerating something that is so deeply unattractive and uncomfortable for most of us humans. You’re seriously wondering if she “likes it or just accepts it because she likes the normal part of you”? Lmao, well uhhhhh DUH. If she liked it she would seek it out or atleast respond warmly to your attempts. You want it to be your thing you say. What if she came to you and said she wanted you being cucked or her pounding your balls with a hammer to be “your thing, not just her thing”? As for the “real mother and child” remark, why in the hell would anyone ever enter a romantic relationship and then be SURPRISED and LET DOWN that they weren’t’t being parented?!? I mean what do you think women are seeking in relationships? It seems you have a very take take take attitude for someone who expects so much giving, in their direction only.

 

[TheWaddlingDad]

I’m sorry but your expectations are bizarrely far fetched. As you said after two years, she “accepts” it and “hates the word mommy.” Yet you’re surprised that she doesn’t initiate or bring it up to discuss with you? What do you even mean by “take care of you”? She is clearly caring if she is tolerating something that is so deeply unattractive and uncomfortable for most of us humans. You’re seriously wondering if she “likes it or just accepts it because she likes the normal part of you”? Lmao, well uhhhhh DUH. If she liked it she would seek it out or atleast respond warmly to your attempts. You want it to be your thing you say. What if she came to you and said she wanted you being cucked or her pounding your balls with a hammer to be “your thing, not just her thing”? As for the “real mother and child” remark, why in the hell would anyone ever enter a romantic relationship and then be SURPRISED and LET DOWN that they weren’t’t being parented?!? I mean what do you think women are seeking in relationships? It seems you have a very take take take attitude for someone who expects so much giving, in their direction only.

Wow! Pounding balls with a hammer? Hardly the same as wearing a diaper but okay I see it is an analogy. I personally think you are reading into rcane's post a bit much, no? I mean really, he was just expressing his situation like the OP was asking. I didn't get the feeling that rcane was forcing anything on his girlfriend or had expectations. Sorry just seems like a harsh reply to a simple post, but after reading some of your others I'm noticing a trend.

 

[Saltedcaramel64]

I’m sorry but your expectations are bizarrely far fetched. As you said after two years, she “accepts” it and “hates the word mommy.” Yet you’re surprised that she doesn’t initiate or bring it up to discuss with you? What do you even mean by “take care of you”? She is clearly caring if she is tolerating something that is so deeply unattractive and uncomfortable for most of us humans. You’re seriously wondering if she “likes it or just accepts it because she likes the normal part of you”? Lmao, well uhhhhh DUH. If she liked it she would seek it out or atleast respond warmly to your attempts. You want it to be your thing you say. What if she came to you and said she wanted you being cucked or her pounding your balls with a hammer to be “your thing, not just her thing”? As for the “real mother and child” remark, why in the hell would anyone ever enter a romantic relationship and then be SURPRISED and LET DOWN that they weren’t’t being parented?!? I mean what do you think women are seeking in relationships? It seems you have a very take take take attitude for someone who expects so much giving, in their direction only.

How has your relationship been going with your man? I assume you are still together, since you are still here among people you are confused by. How does your dynamic work? Do you diaper him at night and expect only adult behavior during the day? Or do you indulge his abdl compulsions once a week or once a month?

Either way Im not into judging you, Im just curious. I know this can be a tough pill to swallow if it isnt your thing. Especially if you equate playing "mommy" to an adult baby to smashing genitals with a hammer. The fact that you are still with him is a testament of your love for him. You must have a lot of positive feelings towards him if you are willing to engage in something you find so repulsive.

Ive been married for 17 years. Im a pretty normal husband, father and man. If you ever need advice on how to deal with this stuff from someone a little more regular, feel free to message me.