S.S.R.I. problems and a big confession

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

I was on S.S.R.I.s, on and off, every year from 9 to 17. They never helped but people would say "I can see so much improvement!" I'd let them know that I hadn't been taking them, so the same people would say "Oh, that's why you're getting worse." You just said there was so much improvement! They're basically a side-effect-filled placebo that works on teachers, rather than those forced to take them.

I had headaches or even migraines, along with bedwetting. On one, it was pants wetting. My mom proposed "diapers", during the day, when I was 13, which I honestly had considered but was afraid of getting caught. I had a better proposal/a solution, though, which was to stop taking "medicine" (since taking it made everything worse). Another "medicine"/poison even caused soiling, at 16. There was another that caused asthmatic symptoms but because I wasn't diagnosed with asthma, I wasn't given an inhaler. I often had trouble sleeping, with these drugs always making it worse. They sometimes made me fall asleep during the day, while keeping me up much of or all night. I sometimes threw up, fainted and/or had some bloody spit, on different prescriptions.

They were obsessed with "weening off", though I always felt better by going cold turkey. I am sure it was to make more money and do more harm, that I was told to do otherwise. They often increased the dose and/or added prescriptions, multiple times, while I complained of side effects. As a minor, I wasn't always given a say.

School faculties constantly asked "Are you on drugs?" but I was never on any - except the ones I was put on by quacks.

I was an adult, before I tried pot. It worked like a charm, as a sleep aid and stress relief - if I got the right kind. Otherwise, it just made me groggy - like if I had taken Unisom. With the right kind of pot or enough melatonin, though, I slept a lot better and would be more productive the next day. Melatonin capsules weren't widely available, back then, though they were later commonplace. Obviously, if put on anything at all, I should have been put on the kind of drugs they told me to be off and not the kind they told me that I "needed" to be on.

Pot doesn't seem to have either a positive or negative effect on my O.C.D., with even the same batch permitting different results. Some days are always better than others.

I definitely do sometimes get too Autistic, because of pot, though, but other times have a very pleasant experience.

I have only "Regressed" three times, in my life, rather than just Ageplaying; once to 4, once to 12 and once to 13, in that order. I could still have adult thoughts and reactions, but I had simultaneous feelings - between physical and emotional - that I was a much younger age. Everything was more pronounced, like my Asperger's got turned up to 11. I was high, all those times. After each, I gave up pot - for a while. Even the worst experience with pot was better than any side-effect of the prescriptions. Other times, pot was the only thing that helped or it helped more than melatonin. By the time I could get melatonin, I required an abnormally-high amount. Both it and pot only work, for me, at least, if I use them infrequently. Otherwise, the benefit decreases or eliminates.

Another problem with the S.S.R.I.s is that I have never experienced a true orgasm. I used to get more intense reactions, where my knees would get week and it was more forceful, but not what I hear others describe as the mental or full-body parts of an orgasm. It has been years, since I experienced one of those partial orgasms. Now, it's just a build up and release of pressure that is never really satisfying. I sometimes lose interest, in the midst of it, but force myself to keep going because I read that you should never finish without release.

I often have to rely on diaper and/or submission fantasies, often as the one being dominated, whereas I used to be dominant and had a larger percentage of fantasies without diapers. My fantasies got masochistic, at times, for years, but have turned into mostly fantasies of having someone caressing, feeding, bathing, dressing and generally caring for me - only as an adult. I like to imagine someone fixing my brain, where I'm being re-raised into a functioning adult.

I have talked about all of the non-sexual aspects, before, off of this site, but I've never told anyone that the drugs I was put on by quacks sometimes caused *sexual orientation changes*. I was off of them for about 11 years, before I got back to being straight.

I never wanted to be what I was turned into but it was so difficult turning back to what I was.

Others have reported this, as well, and I am sure many more are still afraid to do so. It isn't our fault. It is that of the drug pushers, hiding behind underserved titles, degrees, lab coats, and armies of corrupt lawyers, lobbyists and politicians.

I don't want to hear about someone who likes being what I don't or didn't have those side-effects. Their feelings and (in)experiences don't excuse what was done to me.

Please, do not put your children on S.S.R.I.s and please know it is not shameful to speak out against what has happened to you. What is shameful is the way we have been treated by those believing they are above the law.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

I finally felt I could say it, if anonymously.

I often hear of AB/DLs having been on or taking S.S.R.I.s, as well as those drugs coming up in the Autistic groups I'm in, with more overlap between Autistics and AB/DLs, so I thought this group may have the highest number of similar experiences.

I spent many hours, deciding whether or not to actually say all of this.

I hope it helps you, to know you are not at fault or alone.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

I can't recall if I was put back on the same one that caused the pants wetting or a different one, with the same side effect, at 14. Somewhere, I still have detailed records of everything that was prescribed, the dosages and when I was on them.

 

[Azie]

Medicine can have different effects on different people, and I am greatly glad you decided what works best for you. I actually had good luck with the three I have taken through out my life that helped me when my depression got the worst. Can't comment on the incontinence side of it, as I was already having issues before. Oddly though, I find it funny that you were prescribed them so young as many contradict the use in young people due to the higher percentage of young people reporting more serious psychological side effects.

 

[Turk3y5h007]

Prosak here. Pissed myself from 6th grade til my sophmore year in high school (about 6months after I stoped taking it). Was told day time wetting wasn't a side effect and I was just lazy.

Also I'm Asexual now. Never knew this was or could be a side effect very interesting thanks for sharing.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

Medicine can have different effects on different people, and I am greatly glad you decided what works best for you. I actually had good luck with the three I have taken through out my life that helped me when my depression got the worst. Can't comment on the incontinence side of it, as I was already having issues before. Oddly though, I find it funny that you were prescribed them so young as many contradict the use in young people due to the higher percentage of young people reporting more serious psychological side effects.

At the time, schools were believing they solved everything and "doctors" handed them out like candy. I know it got worse, over time. I hope it has since improved.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

Prosak here. Pissed myself from 6th grade til my sophmore year in high school (about 6months after I stoped taking it). Was told day time wetting wasn't a side effect and I was just lazy.

Also I'm Asexual now. Never knew this was or could be a side effect very interesting thanks for sharing.

I was told I was lazy, too!!! The doctor made a sprawling motion and said I was wetting my bed because I didn't want to get up!!!

I never did it out of laziness!

To be completely fair, though he never let on he had any such idea, so I think he just got lucky, with his cover story, I did often wet the bed deliberately.

It was often not deliberate, though, and none of the daytime accidents were deliberate (whether during naps or awake).

I had to go back to napping, at 16 and 17, and should have had far more sleep than I got at 18 and since (to varying extents).

Now, I usually only did the intentional night wetting once the accidental ones combined with T.B. and later D.L.

 

[SpankyUnicorn]

Medicine can have different effects on different people, and I am greatly glad you decided what works best for you. I actually had good luck with the three I have taken through out my life that helped me when my depression got the worst. Can't comment on the incontinence side of it, as I was already having issues before. Oddly though, I find it funny that you were prescribed them so young as many contradict the use in young people due to the higher percentage of young people reporting more serious psychological side effects.

Indeed. The effects can vary widely from person to person. I used to be on Sertraline (Zoloft), and I personally never had any issues. The worst side effect I had was a loss of libido. Another mild side effect was becoming a bit more prone to getting dizzy. Other than that, I made a complete recovery from major depression and successfully tapered off of the drugs.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

Prosak here. Pissed myself from 6th grade til my sophmore year in high school (about 6months after I stoped taking it). Was told day time wetting wasn't a side effect and I was just lazy.

Also I'm Asexual now. Never knew this was or could be a side effect very interesting thanks for sharing.

I was Sporadically Asexual, with Bisexuality and later back to Heterosexuality.

Sometimes, I'd just feel like I would normally be aroused but I wasn't. Other times, the same person or concept would arouse me.

I also often needed touch; thoughts didn't work alone, until recent years.

Ironically, I was still getting random erections into my late teens. I got them from sudden speed, vibration or altitude changes, too, like a plane taking off, a dirt bike running while stationary or a car speeding down hill, through my 20's.

That, however, supposedly also happens to people at older ages whom have never been on those pills or tab(let)s.

I did have some arousal problems or problems staying aroused, from 23 onward; I could do it but with more effort and weekend releaser.

I'm neither at my best or worst, now, in many ways; both sexual, in memory, attention span, processing speed and physical reaction speed, coordination, tinnitus and otherwise.

A.B./D.L exploded, for more, at 23, as I hear it often does, and I got really into humiliation, subjugation and even more Sissy things. A lot of that stopped, at 28, however. Some of it remains but is much more mild, less frequent, only Heterosexual or a combination.

I don't ordinarily like Crossdressing, but seem to somewhat like but primarily dislike the idea of being forced and maybe brainwashed. My fantasies always end up with escaping and/or turning the tables/becoming dominant.

Women sometimes imply they want me to try but then imply (or even state) otherwise. Maybe they were gauging my reaction, while I was doing the same, and/or have mixed (but primarily negative) opinions.

I was more open to trying than wanting to, with a notion that kids clothing can be somewhat more Agender (even if useful to be gender-specific, in some scenarios).
Having consistency is easier but it seems like many companies are intent on blurring the lines as much as possible. I think Society can stand a degree of that, but I think it starts becoming disrespectful or impractical (after a certain extent).

There was a lot it took to trigger or even cause A.B./D.L., in me, and I think the "Sissy" stuff was atop that and my Sexuality being a rollercoaster of drugs-and-circumstances-induced-or-addled contests.

Others have reported Asexuality or Sporadic Asexuality, as well, like with increased need for personal contact and/or some difficulties, with S.S.R.I.s.

They used to say "N.S.R.I.s" but that sounded too much like deliberately paddling the brain (which it often was).

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

Indeed. The effects can vary widely from person to person. I used to be on Sertraline (Zoloft), and I personally never had any issues. The worst side effect I had was a loss of libido. Another mild side effect was becoming a bit more prone to getting dizzy. Other than that, I made a complete recovery from major depression and successfully tapered off of the drugs.

Your effects were much more mild than some other results, though Zoloft is also much more mild than a lot of what I was on and hear complaints regarding.

Females and Homosexual Males *seem* to receive more benefits and fewer problems than do Heterosexual Males, as an average outcome, from S.S.R.I.s.

I don't know that an actual study has been conducted on this but it matches what I have seen. Others say they have the same conclusion, if from anecdotal samples.

I have had really serious depression but I treated it through other means. The circumstances I described were part of having the depression, whereas issues clearing up helped to clear up the depression.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

Is there a way to edit my comments, on this site? I've never properly figured out how to use the internet from my phone, since I put off getting a smartphone for as long as they would let me, so the spelling and grammar errors (from autofill or it not understanding what I'm saying into it) on my posts are bothering me.

 

[Azie]

Is there a way to edit my comments, on this site? I've never properly figured out how to use the internet from my phone, since I put off getting a smartphone for as long as they would let me, so the spelling and grammar errors (from autofill or it not understanding what I'm saying into it) on my posts are bothering me.

You can only do it within the first thirty minutes I think and the time frame might even be shorter than that.

On another note, I started looking up into your theory of SSRIs effecting sexual preference, and haven't found a study that actually supports it, or rather any study that doesn't come to the conclusion that they can effect your libido negatively. One thing to point out, if I am reading things correctly, you were experiencing swings in attraction when you were younger, which actually is rather common while developing, as hormones also play an effect into attraction as well.

And, I just wanted to leave you a little tidbit about why doctors ween off of psychiatric medicines instead of cold turkey - its mainly based off the body becoming addicted to them and the effects of withdrawl can be serious or fatal. If you are on more than one, it also allows doctors to isolate specific issues as they arise versus trying to guess which medicine is causing the issue.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

You can only do it within the first thirty minutes I think and the time frame might even be shorter than that.

On another note, I started looking up into your theory of SSRIs effecting sexual preference, and haven't found a study that actually supports it, or rather any study that doesn't come to the conclusion that they can effect your libido negatively. One thing to point out, if I am reading things correctly, you were experiencing swings in attraction when you were younger, which actually is rather common while developing, as hormones also play an effect into attraction as well.

And, I just wanted to leave you a little tidbit about why doctors ween off of psychiatric medicines instead of cold turkey - its mainly based off the body becoming addicted to them and the effects of withdrawl can be serious or fatal. If you are on more than one, it also allows doctors to isolate specific issues as they arise versus trying to guess which medicine is causing the issue.

I know the stated explanations for weening but I was never addicted to any of them, so it was never necessary. Instead, it just meant more time on something I didn't want to be on.

Furthermore, there wouldn't be problems with isolating which prescription is causing it - if you were only on one prescription at a time.

Of course, they wouldn't want such a study to be published. They don't even want to admit to all the side effects that people have routinely reported. Something like that would dramatically hurt sales, and even result in both lawsuits and possibly legal charges.

All I can say is that I was always healthier off of them than on them, with other people - at a variety of ages - having reported similar experiences to mine.

So, the possibility cannot be dismissed out of hand. Even if it isn't the sole factor, at least, in everyone having such changes, it could be an exacerbating factor.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

My parents and I tried filing lawsuits, even consulting with multiple lawyers, telling us that we had a rock-solid case, only for some new law to make it harder to sue doctors or so many other suits against the same doctor to mean there was just nothing left to go after.

Doctors didn't inform us of all the potential side effects and often didn't listen to what I was reporting.

I use the term "doctor(s)" loosely. That's why I prefer to say "Quacks."

What I often hear, though, is someone countering that it helped them or some relative/friend/associate of theirs. There are other people, however, saying the opposite. The former cases do not refute the latter, especially when a lot of the former is through placebo.

 

[Hammerite]

What I often hear, though, is someone countering that it helped them or some relative/friend/associate of theirs. There are other people, however, saying the opposite. The former cases do not refute the latter, especially when a lot of the former is through placebo.

That's true, the cases of people who feel they are/were helped by SSRIs don't refute the cases of people who weren't helped. But that goes the other way around too. The cases of people who weren't helped don't refute the cases of people who were.

If you want people to take your point of view seriously, you should take their points of view seriously in turn. Appearing to dismiss the views of people who have had a positive experience of SSRIs as "just the placebo effect" doesn't make it look like you are doing that.

A lot of the time (not here in this thread), when I have seen people who had a negative experience of SSRIs express their views on the matter, they come across as making absolute statements - that SSRIs never work for anyone, rather than that they just didn't work for them. That's probably why you often see people mentioning that they have helped them/somebody they know.

The suggestion that SSRIs never work (which again, hasn't been made here in this thread) may be taken to imply that they shouldn't be available to people. Which if you are prone to depressive illness and have found that SSRIs are a safety net for them (this is the case for me), is actually quite a threatening prospect. That may be why you often see people push back on the suggestion that SSRIs aren't helpful.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience and that you feel you were let down so badly by your doctors.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

I can understand that. However, I would also like to emphasize that I didn't say it's all the placebo effect. We know, however, that a lot of it is. I don't see how that didn't merit noting.

I'm quite sure some will oversimplify the issue, both ways.

Still, schools and/or parents often want youths to rush to see a doctor, with the doctor often rushing to make use of drugs. There are a variety of other options that could be considered, involving various changes to how, where or by which instructor you're being educated, what you're eating, exercise, sleeping and other lifestyle changes. All of these should be considered, before drugging someone and using "We don't know which one is working or failing." (as if an excuse to use all of them).

Some of the drugs have since been recalled or are currently under investigation, even if it took years or decades for the government to take complaints seriously (let alone actually lay the groundwork of an investigation).

With more independent studies, intra-departmental and inter-departmental investigations, as some pharmaceutical companies have been caught giving bribes, I would feel much more comfortable than now that these are well-researched and not just slammed out for profit.

 

[ade]

Ironically, I was still getting random erections into my late teens. I got them from sudden speed, vibration or altitude changes, too, like a plane taking off, a dirt bike running while stationary or a car speeding down hill, through my 20's.

The above, specifically, is perfectly normal. It's called being male
(Makes you wonder how many 'behavioural problems' are simply just a case of being male?)

It seems a bit disturbing that we have definitions of 'normal' imposed upon us by people who generally have no concept of what normality is; and within that and often worse, those who force their ideas of normality based upon their own, usually privileged, upbringing.

But we're in a whole world of skewed perspectives, delivered by 'experts' and pop culture and government bodies that it's no wonder that we cop for it and end up as big a mess as them.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

The above, specifically, is perfectly normal. It's called being male
(Makes you wonder how many 'behavioural problems' are simply just a case of being male?)

It seems a bit disturbing that we have definitions of 'normal' imposed upon us by people who generally have no concept of what normality is; and within that and often worse, those who force their ideas of normality based upon their own, usually privileged, upbringing.

But we're in a whole world of skewed perspectives, delivered by 'experts' and pop culture and government bodies that it's no wonder that we cop for it and end up as big a mess as them.

I noted that it is rather normal. I was using it as a counter to other developments, to say that it was not consistently one way or the other. I wanted to be thorough.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

Of course, they wouldn't want such a study to be published. They don't even want to admit to all the side effects that people have routinely reported. Something like that would dramatically hurt sales, and even result in both lawsuits and possibly legal charges.

I just wanted to reply to myself, to clarify this. I meant that many expect me to only use the company line, which I think is only clearly relevant when it admits to something it's accused of.

Since bribes have occurred, in the industry, provably, this could also affect investigations.

I looked around and found that S.S.R.I.s have been found able (if infrequently) to change sexuality - in both directions. One of the studies was out of The U.K., on a group of women, in The 1980's, on anti-depressants. Other reports included it regarding men.

 

[ThatGuyFromThatThread]

Please, do not put your children on S.S.R.I.s

Adjus