TeeMousy said:
I have a roommate, but it's not a typical situation. I met my roommate through church. He has addiction problems and it caused him to make mistakes and end up in prison and when he got out he was basically homeless so I took him in to my home.
He has lived with me several years now. When he first moved in I had not yet discovered ABDL. All I had was a few stuffies laying around. When I first started wearing diapers and using pacis and bottles I kept them hidden. He must have been snooping around because one time he got drunk and asked me about them. After he sobered up I explained it to him. He was understanding. He has seen lots of weird things in his life. I still keep most of it hidden though just because it would just feel weird for him to see me drinking from a bottle.
I wanted to write to you about a week ago when I saw what you wrote, but I got busy. I have Classic Autism and ADHD. I'm in my late 40s, but I am emotionally and socially like a 4 1/2 year old. I'm technically not an adult baby as I don't wear diapers, and while I have interests in childish / childlike things (mostly stuff like cartoons, children's rides at amusement parks, or pacifiers, or old fashioned traditional children's clothes like long-alls and jon jons as well as vintage children's T strap shoes), I don't truly actively regress, because there's no maturity to set aside. I can't even truly act like an adult when I want to because of Autism. I've just been busy with this oldies music appreciation class that I am teaching one day of the week with my dad (who is in his late 70s), and it does take time to prepare what songs we are going to cover.
I wanted to say, you have a good heart. Not everyone will take in someone to their home. A lot of people wouldn't even want to get involved in that. Most people wouldn't even take in people who were not ever in prison, let alone someone that was. I have Autism and visiting the East Coast (like the Carolinas) is difficult for me as I don't even drive a car (I do have a driver's license, but my attention span is so bad that I can't even concentrate driving 20 minutes), so after I land at an airport, that would be a problem. I do have friends, but asking them if I could stay for even a week would definitely be an inconvenience for most of them and some of them work many hours during the week. So loving of you to take in someone with addiction problems instead of him ending up homeless. There are certain friends and people I know that they were going to end up homeless that I would take in, if I had a home. I was an assistant co-host at Preschooler Storytime for 3 to 5 year olds at one of my local libraries for 16 years until COVID 19 destroyed everything, alongside my children's librarian friend who is now retired in her mid 60s. There are friends I have who were children that are now adults I would gladly let them live with me if I had a home. Or some Autistic children and adults I know. Unfortunately, I still live with my parents, so I wouldn't have that option to help, but if I had my own home in the Carolinas or Virginia, sure. But you definitely have a good heart.
One question - wouldn't it be more baffling for your roommate to see you wearing a diaper than sucking a baby bottle, not the other way around? I would think he would be more understanding of a baby bottle than a diaper. I was bullied by some college age students when they lived in a residential college apartment dorm complex in the late 1990s. I got called the R word that substitutes for the word intellectual disability. Probably 96% of those living in the apartment dorms thought I was intellectually disabled because of my Autism in itself. I was called way worse names than that, even. A couple of roommates saw me with a pacifier and I got bullied more. And certainly collecting vintage 1970s to mid 1990s children's T strap shoes didn't help. You don't have to have a particular vivid imagination to think about some of the names I was called. I never wore diapers as an adult, and based on how I was treated when I was seen with a pacifier, I can't imagine what they would have done if they found out I wore diapers if I did. I mean, they would have had a field day for sure bullying me. I would think a pacifier or a baby bottle wouldn't be as baffling as wearing a diaper. Apparently you and your roommate get along okay. I think sometimes people pick on me purposely solely because I am Autistic. Or maybe Autistic people just get held to a higher standard, than other developmental disabilities, such as Down Syndrome or Williams Syndrome. Maybe it's the issues with social skills that most Autistic people have. But, yeah, I'd be more worried about diapers than people seeing I like pacifiers or bottles. Oddly enough I find people in the Deep South like Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, the Carolinas, etc. are way more accepting of my Autism and my restricted interests / hobbies due to my Autism, than most people on the West Coast. When I visit the Carolinas, I get treated very differently and they are much nicer to me. I probably likely wouldn't even be interested in long-alls or Mary Janes and T strap shoes, or even oldies music, or street maps, or baseball caps from cities, if I wasn't Autistic. My mom definitely thinks so, that these interests / hobbies are a direct consequence of having Autism. My bedroom is becoming a mess... LOL. One of my friends in her 70s on Facebook that I originally met on eBay has a son (she has three sons) in his 40s, her oldest. I met the mom because she would find long-alls and strap shoes and other baby clothes in children's consignment stores and other places and sold that stuff on eBay), and her oldest son was in prison for 3 or 4 years for selling drugs. I was kind to him online when he got out about 7 or 8 years ago and was living with his mom, my friend. He became friends with me on FB. One day I was talking on messenger about my collecting children's T strap shoes (in fact, oddly enough he had worn T strap shoes himself as a toddler, which is unusual on the West Coast; it's more common in the South like Alabama. I know because his mom showed me some photos) and he unfriended me. Some of my friends, including the mom, thought it was funny somehow; I certainly didn't.
I guess I just don't really get accepted by anyone. Most of my friends end up being elderly people in their 60s or 70s, or toddlers or preschoolers. I have friends who were college instructors that used to teach me in community college or in state university, that are in their 70s. Not all elderly people are tolerant of me either, but as a percentage, certainly more than college age adults or even those in the middle age years. I also have had a lot of friends who were preschoolers and toddlers in my life over the decades, but that's also because of what I did at my library (my librarian friend also was friends with some of these children as well and their parents) and also that young children aren't judgmental of me and accept me for who I am. Even if I lack certain social skills or can't understand or decipher nonverbal facial cues, most kids under age 6 accept me for who I am. It's really difficult being Autistic. The unemployment rate is sky high - 85% unemployment rate for Autistic college graduates. Virtually no minority has that high an unemployment rate, not even criminals. Statistically, the suicide rate is also very high, unfortunately, for those who have Autism. It comes also from being misunderstood and bullied all your life. I hope I do not end up going to a nursing home in old age where I'll be slapped and kicked around. That would just complete a vicious cycle of being bullied at almost every stage of my life, except when I was in preschool. I also tend to talk a lot and that annoys some people too. Being around me more than 5 hours at a time is more than what most people can take. Very few people tolerate me that long, unless you are a child perhaps. My social skills are actually worse than a nonautistic 4 year old. An average 4 1/2 year old could remember to do their homework in school better than me. Had lots of problems in school, including many missing assignments from 6th to 8th grade in Catholic school. I would just forget to write down my homework. I knew kindergarten children in my school when I was in 8th grade who were barely beyond the size of a preschooler in Fall 1989 who were actually more responsible about getting their homework done. We're talking even about little 5 year old girls, in some cases some who wore babyish dresses and Mary Janes or T strap shoes!! I don't think any of the teachers at the school could wrap their head around why I was missing so much homework. I'd get a 30 minute after school detention after missing 3 homework assignments in a semester. I got 7 detentions in 7th grade and 8 detentions in 8th grade! Teachers rotated their duties on detentions. One of the teachers I served more than one detention with taught first grade and said her first graders didn't miss THAT many assignments. She was a Sister (a nun). I probably hold the record to this very day for the most missing assignments ever accumulated within one year in that K through 8 Catholic school, in the 65 year history of that school!! Autistic people and those with ADHD tend to have issues with executive functioning.
Anyway, I just wanted to say, thank you for helping your roommate. You are a very nice person.
God bless you.
- longallsboy
