Relationship advice

[FlynnRyder24]

Hello everyone!

I am having some struggles. My wife and I have been together for seven years and married for less than one. We’ve recently run into a little bland patch when it comes to our sex lives. Our sex life has always been fairly active and have never really had an Issue until now. For some background, my wife knows about my ABDL side and has been very accepting since the beginning. I am still working on accepting it myself and she has been so supportive of me. She has even participated in playing the ‘mommy’ role from time to time.

We have had a couple conversations really about how she is feeling about it and she has been struggling with the ABDL side as of late. When I ask why or what she is struggling with, she doesn’t like the fact that anytime she wants to climax, her first thought is of me in a diaper/sucking on her breasts. She also mentioned how she hasn’t been feeling very confident with anything outside of vanilla sex at all.

Every now and then when we are texting, I try to be playful about my ABDL stuff (it helps me talk about it more casually rather than bottle it up) and only because I’m trying to be exciting. She has never expressed any of her own kinks when I have asked so I am not sure what else to be kinky about other than ABDL. It’s been months since she has wanted to do anything ABDL related and I’m giving her the space but I just don’t know what to do to help alleviate some of the stress for her. Do any of you folks have any ideas or had situations like this?

 

[unnamed]

Hello everyone!

I am having some struggles. My wife and I have been together for seven years and married for less than one. We’ve recently run into a little bland patch when it comes to our sex lives. Our sex life has always been fairly active and have never really had an Issue until now. For some background, my wife knows about my ABDL side and has been very accepting since the beginning. I am still working on accepting it myself and she has been so supportive of me. She has even participated in playing the ‘mommy’ role from time to time.

We have had a couple conversations really about how she is feeling about it and she has been struggling with the ABDL side as of late. When I ask why or what she is struggling with, she doesn’t like the fact that anytime she wants to climax, her first thought is of me in a diaper/sucking on her breasts. She also mentioned how she hasn’t been feeling very confident with anything outside of vanilla sex at all.

Every now and then when we are texting, I try to be playful about my ABDL stuff (it helps me talk about it more casually rather than bottle it up) and only because I’m trying to be exciting. She has never expressed any of her own kinks when I have asked so I am not sure what else to be kinky about other than ABDL. It’s been months since she has wanted to do anything ABDL related and I’m giving her the space but I just don’t know what to do to help alleviate some of the stress for her. Do any of you folks have any ideas or had situations like this?

What's interesting to me is that this only recently became an issue. Do you know if anything has changed?

Regardless, while your needs are important, it's clear this mental image is bothering her. Have you tried talking about that specifically? No one can really give you advice beyond basic points since we can't ask ourselves and arent mental health professionals.

 

[FlynnRyder24]

Yeah and I am just hoping to get some thoughts outside of my own in case I’m missing something as well. I appreciate the reply!

 

[Polarbear]

Hello everyone!

I am having some struggles. My wife and I have been together for seven years and married for less than one. We’ve recently run into a little bland patch when it comes to our sex lives. Our sex life has always been fairly active and have never really had an Issue until now. For some background, my wife knows about my ABDL side and has been very accepting since the beginning. I am still working on accepting it myself and she has been so supportive of me. She has even participated in playing the ‘mommy’ role from time to time.

We have had a couple conversations really about how she is feeling about it and she has been struggling with the ABDL side as of late. When I ask why or what she is struggling with, she doesn’t like the fact that anytime she wants to climax, her first thought is of me in a diaper/sucking on her breasts. She also mentioned how she hasn’t been feeling very confident with anything outside of vanilla sex at all.

Every now and then when we are texting, I try to be playful about my ABDL stuff (it helps me talk about it more casually rather than bottle it up) and only because I’m trying to be exciting. She has never expressed any of her own kinks when I have asked so I am not sure what else to be kinky about other than ABDL. It’s been months since she has wanted to do anything ABDL related and I’m giving her the space but I just don’t know what to do to help alleviate some of the stress for her. Do any of you folks have any ideas or had situations like this?

If you havent walked this path already.. I would try to switch things up a little (outside of the sexlife, but more on the romantic side). Find a time, prefeerably a friday or saturday were you both have a day or two off and ask her if she wants to do something you havent done in a while together. Not that I know what that would be. Thinking of things like go on a date, eat out together, take her for a hike, cook dinner for her (unless thats the usual routine), or just go for a weekend trip together. Anything to break up the every day life routine. And maybe, just for that day, make sure that its about you and her having fun together, and nothing else. Spicing things up in the romantic life often helps give inspiration to the rest. When it comes to the cosy bed stuff, maybe just go full out vanilla, but also mix it up a small bit. Take the lead if you dont normally, or let her do that.. Maybe try to just focus on beeing intimate and close. Also, give it time, have fun together outside of the bedroom, and the rest hopfully will follow.

 

[Rescue]

Jesus can I ever relate to this...on such a deep level.

I have been married for 12 years now

stated dating my wife in 2009

ABDL for much longer...

When we first started dating she was 23/24 and early on gave off MASSIVE "little" vibes. Slept with a stuffie, dressed up as a baby with a stuffy for Halloween parties, etc. So much so that I was easily able to recognize this and we joked around and make reference to it often ....and on a total whim...I bought a paci, and a sippy cup and gave it to her as a suprise one night. She was PUMPED. I was elated. She would seek out her paci and sippy cup at bed time going forward for some time.

Sometimes we would be in bed just chillin and she would complain that she needed to get up to pee and would just say.."im just gona pee on you"...but she never would and I would too shy and stupid to enage enough *face palm*

Id jokingly threaten to put her in diapers in she did and she would giggle etc etc

Fast forward a year or too the same continues. I was kinda trying to introduce diapers into the mix but super shy and not knowing ANYTHING...this was well before DaddyIWantThis or any another podcast which would have saved my life but I digress.

Anyways.... one night, she was a few drinks in and we went to bed...you could tell she was frisky-ish and I thought id take a chance

I gave her her paci which she happily took and we carried on and at some point I made it down below and I said....babies dont wear underware, they wear diapers. She nooded and agreed. SCORE..Im in....so I promply grabbed a Bambino Classico from my stash (that she was now finding out about for the first time...mistake number 1) and proceeded to diaper her. Fantastic...a memory that will go to the grave with me. No fuss, nothing. Dream come true, I hardly slept.

Then morning came

"I have to pee"

ok...your wearing a diaper! Why get up, its cold.

Nope, not a chance. Despite my many attempts, no go. It had to come off, and when she came back to bed, no interest in putting the diaper back on.

That was the last time she wore a diaper for me

And I think, the last time she had a paci in her mouth

2010-2011 maybe. Heart broken

We ended up getting married and and some point focus shifted. I remember one night I was diapered while she was away, usually id try to guage when shes gona be home and change and continue to hide but this night I said no, enough is enough and it all came out. She was totally cool with it. Best S*x ever that night as it was the first (and one of the only) times it incorportated diapers. Shes known all along it was my thing. Ive mentioned it and told her many times how much her in that diaper that night meant to me.

Still pre kids by the way...

Anyways...as time went on, gradually less and less mention, engagement etc.

2 kids

during pregnancy we went shopping for absorbant underwear which was exciting but she never oepned the package.

Over the years we have had MANY...and i mean MANY conversations about what I need, want, like etc. But she is totally disengaged now. We are 38... she still happily sleeps with a stuffie, but thats it

Paci, nope

shes totally cool with me wearing, and my diaper stash is in our shared closet, in the open, no issue (openly, but i feel she dispises it)

but

I feel so alone.

Diaper me? Nope, not a chance. It makes her "uncomfrotable" but she cant tell me why or what about it is uncomfrtable

She WILL do up the snaps on my snap crotch onsie when I am ready, so I am beyond thankful for that when it happens but it doesnt always.

Sometimes shes not home and when she gets home, the kids are in bed, and I am very obviosuly wearing my onsie.. but...zilch, no awknowledgement.

We can cuddle on the couch for the next 3 hours...no mention...no awknowlegement that I am diapered. Crinkles as long as the day...nothing

Bedtime, Im laying there in nothing but an obviosuly wet diaper...begging to be told..you should change before bed.....nothing....as if it doesn't exist.

We have had this discussion multiple times because it breaks my heart and makes me despressed but it always ends the same way.

"its just not my thing"

Dammit...10 years ago you were excited when I got you a paci and sippy cup, you let me diaper you and you daily threatned to pee on me...but now you wont even awknowledge the fact that this is going on?

Ugh.

Our sexlife is stagnet as F. It was INSANE back in the above days...

Im so lost and forever dispise that I made all the WRONG moves before things like Podcasts such as DaddyIWant this exist.

I desperatly need to know how to sit her down and have this conversation again properly because her saying "i dont want to do it, wear diapers and pretend like I like it" kills me

No, I just want you to engage.

Pat my bum

Suggest I get changed before bed

Check me

Get my stuff TO get changed before bed, lay it out for me, show me you are enagaged short of actually doing it.

Oh I had a bad day at work...suggest I get into my little stuff, dont always leave it to me to decide...show me you have ANY interst in my happiness

Im rambling now.

Someone help me fix this lol

 

[Labrador]

someone help me fix this lol

I am single and a bit younger than you, but I’m another forum I was advised to take my question to a fresh post (where it isn’t buried behind another question) and try it there. You could do that.

 

[egor]

Hello everyone!

I am having some struggles. My wife and I have been together for seven years and married for less than one. We’ve recently run into a little bland patch when it comes to our sex lives. Our sex life has always been fairly active and have never really had an Issue until now. For some background, my wife knows about my ABDL side and has been very accepting since the beginning. I am still working on accepting it myself and she has been so supportive of me. She has even participated in playing the ‘mommy’ role from time to time.

We have had a couple conversations really about how she is feeling about it and she has been struggling with the ABDL side as of late. When I ask why or what she is struggling with, she doesn’t like the fact that anytime she wants to climax, her first thought is of me in a diaper/sucking on her breasts. She also mentioned how she hasn’t been feeling very confident with anything outside of vanilla sex at all.

Every now and then when we are texting, I try to be playful about my ABDL stuff (it helps me talk about it more casually rather than bottle it up) and only because I’m trying to be exciting. She has never expressed any of her own kinks when I have asked so I am not sure what else to be kinky about other than ABDL. It’s been months since she has wanted to do anything ABDL related and I’m giving her the space but I just don’t know what to do to help alleviate some of the stress for her. Do any of you folks have any ideas or had situations like this?

Rescue has good advice and not going into my total story but I suppressed my abdl for 8 years starting shortly after we meet, got married and had two kids. Life changing experience of becoming sporadic incontinence and then everything came to the surface big time. That is when I found ADISC 11 years ago and went through the whole self acceptance and understanding of the fetish. I was hiding it from my wife until I found Baby Mitchy you tube on understanding Adult Baby Diaper lover. Getting to the point at a time of intimacy I broke down crying and came out to my wife.

Bottom line you answered your own question in you post, and Rescue gave similar advice from a different angle.

COMMUNICATION, Communication, Communication.

These are the three rules to making this work.

Communicate in an adult manor, with active listening and only use "I" statements.
"I would like to talk to you about the adult baby situation"
" I would like to know how you feel about this"
" I would like to know what you are interested in and what you like or don't like"

Listen to the answers and ask clarifying questions of "I am not sure what you mean", "This is what I hear", "I would like clarification "

She has the right to say NO I will not do this or that. I do not mind doing this, but only to this point. etc.

So Communicate, gain an understanding of each others needs of desires. Set understood Boundaries and respect those boundaries.

I hope this helps.

Egor

 

[Skylark]

Hello everyone!

I am having some struggles. My wife and I have been together for seven years and married for less than one. We’ve recently run into a little bland patch when it comes to our sex lives. Our sex life has always been fairly active and have never really had an Issue until now. For some background, my wife knows about my ABDL side and has been very accepting since the beginning. I am still working on accepting it myself and she has been so supportive of me. She has even participated in playing the ‘mommy’ role from time to time.

We have had a couple conversations really about how she is feeling about it and she has been struggling with the ABDL side as of late. When I ask why or what she is struggling with, she doesn’t like the fact that anytime she wants to climax, her first thought is of me in a diaper/sucking on her breasts. She also mentioned how she hasn’t been feeling very confident with anything outside of vanilla sex at all.

Every now and then when we are texting, I try to be playful about my ABDL stuff (it helps me talk about it more casually rather than bottle it up) and only because I’m trying to be exciting. She has never expressed any of her own kinks when I have asked so I am not sure what else to be kinky about other than ABDL. It’s been months since she has wanted to do anything ABDL related and I’m giving her the space but I just don’t know what to do to help alleviate some of the stress for her. Do any of you folks have any ideas or had situations like this?

Best advice is to try and get an open dialogue about your sex life going with her but I know how it is sometimes, easier said than done.

In my relationship I've found I'm quite submissive when doing abdl stuff. So a lot of times I'll switch it up with some dominant dirty talk and taking charge during love making.
A little while back I was stressed out for awhile from work and was little almost every night after work. She mentioned it was okay and she understands I'm stressed but she'd like to be with me not in a onesie with a paci in my mouth sometimes too.

I was being kinda selfish and made a point to spend days with her not little and just being a "normal" couple. She was clear she didn't care if I was wearing a diaper just that she felt neglected as a partner when I was little all the time.

Balance and compromise are hard but definitely a cornerstone to a relationship

 

[puppyinthemoon]

Hello everyone!

I am having some struggles. My wife and I have been together for seven years and married for less than one. We’ve recently run into a little bland patch when it comes to our sex lives. Our sex life has always been fairly active and have never really had an Issue until now. For some background, my wife knows about my ABDL side and has been very accepting since the beginning. I am still working on accepting it myself and she has been so supportive of me. She has even participated in playing the ‘mommy’ role from time to time.

We have had a couple conversations really about how she is feeling about it and she has been struggling with the ABDL side as of late. When I ask why or what she is struggling with, she doesn’t like the fact that anytime she wants to climax, her first thought is of me in a diaper/sucking on her breasts. She also mentioned how she hasn’t been feeling very confident with anything outside of vanilla sex at all.

Every now and then when we are texting, I try to be playful about my ABDL stuff (it helps me talk about it more casually rather than bottle it up) and only because I’m trying to be exciting. She has never expressed any of her own kinks when I have asked so I am not sure what else to be kinky about other than ABDL. It’s been months since she has wanted to do anything ABDL related and I’m giving her the space but I just don’t know what to do to help alleviate some of the stress for her. Do any of you folks have any ideas or had situations like this?

You may not like to hear this but to me, it sounds like you're neglecting her wants and desires in favor of your own. She's expressed that she's more interested in vanilla sex, but you're fixated on being kinky as the only way to get off. She doesn't seem to have much interest in ABDL, but has been participating in it because she loves you and wants to make you happy. She seems burnt out on it. You bringing up ABDL stuff casually and playfully is exciting for you, but may not be for her. You need to find out what makes her happy and indulge her in it, and that doesn't have to include kinks at all. She may not have kinks of her own, not everyone does, but she's willing to indulge you in yours as long as you make sure her needs are taken care of. Relationships are all about compromise, you're two different people with different wants and needs and you have to learn to meet in the middle.

The way I like to think of it is using food as an analogy: Say one of person absolutely loves spicy food and the other person doesn't like it very much, but they love sharing meals together. The person who doesn't like it might try to eat hotter food with you to share that joy with person 1, but they might not enjoy the food as much as they would if it wasn't spicy. They wouldn't be very happy if person 1 only wanted to eat spicy food with them all the time.
The same applies for the reverse. The person who likes spicy food might try to eat not-spicy food with person 2 more often, but they know they'd enjoy the meal more if it was hotter. They wouldn't be like it if person 2 made them only eat food that wasn't spicy. They can't both be fully happy all the time but it's not fair to prioritize the likes of one person over the other, so they alternate eating spicy and not spicy food and experiment with different levels of spiciness as a compromise. Compromising brings them closer together and makes sharing meals more enjoyable for both of them.

 

[emberkitten]

have you thought about avoiding sex for a wile work on her emotional needs often times stress in my life can kill my sex drive or even my drive to rp with my daddy

 

[ILuvDiapers]

Jesus can I ever relate to this...on such a deep level.

I have been married for 12 years now

stated dating my wife in 2009

ABDL for much longer...

When we first started dating she was 23/24 and early on gave off MASSIVE "little" vibes. Slept with a stuffie, dressed up as a baby with a stuffy for Halloween parties, etc. So much so that I was easily able to recognize this and we joked around and make reference to it often ....and on a total whim...I bought a paci, and a sippy cup and gave it to her as a suprise one night. She was PUMPED. I was elated. She would seek out her paci and sippy cup at bed time going forward for some time.

Sometimes we would be in bed just chillin and she would complain that she needed to get up to pee and would just say.."im just gona pee on you"...but she never would and I would too shy and stupid to enage enough *face palm*

Id jokingly threaten to put her in diapers in she did and she would giggle etc etc

Fast forward a year or too the same continues. I was kinda trying to introduce diapers into the mix but super shy and not knowing ANYTHING...this was well before DaddyIWantThis or any another podcast which would have saved my life but I digress.

Anyways.... one night, she was a few drinks in and we went to bed...you could tell she was frisky-ish and I thought id take a chance

I gave her her paci which she happily took and we carried on and at some point I made it down below and I said....babies dont wear underware, they wear diapers. She nooded and agreed. SCORE..Im in....so I promply grabbed a Bambino Classico from my stash (that she was now finding out about for the first time...mistake number 1) and proceeded to diaper her. Fantastic...a memory that will go to the grave with me. No fuss, nothing. Dream come true, I hardly slept.

Then morning came

"I have to pee"

ok...your wearing a diaper! Why get up, its cold.

Nope, not a chance. Despite my many attempts, no go. It had to come off, and when she came back to bed, no interest in putting the diaper back on.

That was the last time she wore a diaper for me

And I think, the last time she had a paci in her mouth

2010-2011 maybe. Heart broken

We ended up getting married and and some point focus shifted. I remember one night I was diapered while she was away, usually id try to guage when shes gona be home and change and continue to hide but this night I said no, enough is enough and it all came out. She was totally cool with it. Best S*x ever that night as it was the first (and one of the only) times it incorportated diapers. Shes known all along it was my thing. Ive mentioned it and told her many times how much her in that diaper that night meant to me.

Still pre kids by the way...

Anyways...as time went on, gradually less and less mention, engagement etc.

2 kids

during pregnancy we went shopping for absorbant underwear which was exciting but she never oepned the package.

Over the years we have had MANY...and i mean MANY conversations about what I need, want, like etc. But she is totally disengaged now. We are 38... she still happily sleeps with a stuffie, but thats it

Paci, nope

shes totally cool with me wearing, and my diaper stash is in our shared closet, in the open, no issue (openly, but i feel she dispises it)

but

I feel so alone.

Diaper me? Nope, not a chance. It makes her "uncomfrotable" but she cant tell me why or what about it is uncomfrtable

She WILL do up the snaps on my snap crotch onsie when I am ready, so I am beyond thankful for that when it happens but it doesnt always.

Sometimes shes not home and when she gets home, the kids are in bed, and I am very obviosuly wearing my onsie.. but...zilch, no awknowledgement.

We can cuddle on the couch for the next 3 hours...no mention...no awknowlegement that I am diapered. Crinkles as long as the day...nothing

Bedtime, Im laying there in nothing but an obviosuly wet diaper...begging to be told..you should change before bed.....nothing....as if it doesn't exist.

We have had this discussion multiple times because it breaks my heart and makes me despressed but it always ends the same way.

"its just not my thing"

Dammit...10 years ago you were excited when I got you a paci and sippy cup, you let me diaper you and you daily threatned to pee on me...but now you wont even awknowledge the fact that this is going on?

Ugh.

Our sexlife is stagnet as F. It was INSANE back in the above days...

Im so lost and forever dispise that I made all the WRONG moves before things like Podcasts such as DaddyIWant this exist.

I desperatly need to know how to sit her down and have this conversation again properly because her saying "i dont want to do it, wear diapers and pretend like I like it" kills me

No, I just want you to engage.

Pat my bum

Suggest I get changed before bed

Check me

Get my stuff TO get changed before bed, lay it out for me, show me you are enagaged short of actually doing it.

Oh I had a bad day at work...suggest I get into my little stuff, dont always leave it to me to decide...show me you have ANY interst in my happiness

Im rambling now.

Someone help me fix this lol

People change! The things that you are into in your late teenage years and early twenties dissipate as you edge closer to your 30's. Also once you have children of your own, your mindset shifts, especially for women, as the maternal instinct kicks in.

You are both parent's now, and your wife feels uncomfortable indulging in all things ABDL. You really shouldn't force the issue on her. Your passion isn't hers. It really is as simple as that. Your wife clearly loves you, and allows you to wear diapers and onesies, despite no longer feeling excited or turned on by diapers or an ABDL lifestyle herself.

Sometimes, you can loose sight of the fact that she is already compromising in allowing you to wear diapers and onesies, despite the fact that in doing so, it leaves her feeling uncomfortable. You can't force someone to feel the same way you do, and you shouldn't attempt to do that.

You could try removing diapers and onesies from the equation, not entirely just at bed time, and see if that helps to re invigorate your sex life? I think you need to take the lead now in terms of compromising.

I can't think for your wife, but possible reasons why she now feels uncomfortable with diapers and an ABDL lifestyle:-

You are both parents now, with 2 kids, maybe she doesn't want you to be the third?
Perhaps she views this as your kink not hers?
Maybe she views you in a soggy diaper as a passion killer, rather than a turn on?

I don't know what she is thinking? I am not an expert, or a trained psychologist, but i do think you are maybe prioritising your own needs over her's.

As an ABDL myself, i am all too aware, that sometimes we can get consumed by our own needs, and neglect the needs of others.

All the same i wish you well, and hope you can both arrive at something that works for both of you.

 

[ILuvDiapers]

Hello everyone!

I am having some struggles. My wife and I have been together for seven years and married for less than one. We’ve recently run into a little bland patch when it comes to our sex lives. Our sex life has always been fairly active and have never really had an Issue until now. For some background, my wife knows about my ABDL side and has been very accepting since the beginning. I am still working on accepting it myself and she has been so supportive of me. She has even participated in playing the ‘mommy’ role from time to time.

We have had a couple conversations really about how she is feeling about it and she has been struggling with the ABDL side as of late. When I ask why or what she is struggling with, she doesn’t like the fact that anytime she wants to climax, her first thought is of me in a diaper/sucking on her breasts. She also mentioned how she hasn’t been feeling very confident with anything outside of vanilla sex at all.

Every now and then when we are texting, I try to be playful about my ABDL stuff (it helps me talk about it more casually rather than bottle it up) and only because I’m trying to be exciting. She has never expressed any of her own kinks when I have asked so I am not sure what else to be kinky about other than ABDL. It’s been months since she has wanted to do anything ABDL related and I’m giving her the space but I just don’t know what to do to help alleviate some of the stress for her. Do any of you folks have any ideas or had situations like this?

The best thing you can do is accept that your wife isn't you. She clearly now thinks differently than she once did, and is now struggling with an ABDL lifestyle.

If she doesn't feel confident or comfortable with anything outside of vanilla sex, then don't force the issue. Just don't wear a diaper when having sex, and see if that helps to re invigorate your sex life?

You don't necessarily need to stop being ABDL or little completely, just when you plan on having sex. It's clear that your wife views the fact that you are wearing a diaper, when engaging in sex with her, as a barrier to her enjoying climax.

So remove the barrier, and see if that helps?

 

[Dldlns2]

Jesus can I ever relate to this...on such a deep level.

I have been married for 12 years now

stated dating my wife in 2009

ABDL for much longer...

When we first started dating she was 23/24 and early on gave off MASSIVE "little" vibes. Slept with a stuffie, dressed up as a baby with a stuffy for Halloween parties, etc. So much so that I was easily able to recognize this and we joked around and make reference to it often ....and on a total whim...I bought a paci, and a sippy cup and gave it to her as a suprise one night. She was PUMPED. I was elated. She would seek out her paci and sippy cup at bed time going forward for some time.

Sometimes we would be in bed just chillin and she would complain that she needed to get up to pee and would just say.."im just gona pee on you"...but she never would and I would too shy and stupid to enage enough *face palm*

Id jokingly threaten to put her in diapers in she did and she would giggle etc etc

Fast forward a year or too the same continues. I was kinda trying to introduce diapers into the mix but super shy and not knowing ANYTHING...this was well before DaddyIWantThis or any another podcast which would have saved my life but I digress.

Anyways.... one night, she was a few drinks in and we went to bed...you could tell she was frisky-ish and I thought id take a chance

I gave her her paci which she happily took and we carried on and at some point I made it down below and I said....babies dont wear underware, they wear diapers. She nooded and agreed. SCORE..Im in....so I promply grabbed a Bambino Classico from my stash (that she was now finding out about for the first time...mistake number 1) and proceeded to diaper her. Fantastic...a memory that will go to the grave with me. No fuss, nothing. Dream come true, I hardly slept.

Then morning came

"I have to pee"

ok...your wearing a diaper! Why get up, its cold.

Nope, not a chance. Despite my many attempts, no go. It had to come off, and when she came back to bed, no interest in putting the diaper back on.

That was the last time she wore a diaper for me

And I think, the last time she had a paci in her mouth

2010-2011 maybe. Heart broken

We ended up getting married and and some point focus shifted. I remember one night I was diapered while she was away, usually id try to guage when shes gona be home and change and continue to hide but this night I said no, enough is enough and it all came out. She was totally cool with it. Best S*x ever that night as it was the first (and one of the only) times it incorportated diapers. Shes known all along it was my thing. Ive mentioned it and told her many times how much her in that diaper that night meant to me.

Still pre kids by the way...

Anyways...as time went on, gradually less and less mention, engagement etc.

2 kids

during pregnancy we went shopping for absorbant underwear which was exciting but she never oepned the package.

Over the years we have had MANY...and i mean MANY conversations about what I need, want, like etc. But she is totally disengaged now. We are 38... she still happily sleeps with a stuffie, but thats it

Paci, nope

shes totally cool with me wearing, and my diaper stash is in our shared closet, in the open, no issue (openly, but i feel she dispises it)

but

I feel so alone.

Diaper me? Nope, not a chance. It makes her "uncomfrotable" but she cant tell me why or what about it is uncomfrtable

She WILL do up the snaps on my snap crotch onsie when I am ready, so I am beyond thankful for that when it happens but it doesnt always.

Sometimes shes not home and when she gets home, the kids are in bed, and I am very obviosuly wearing my onsie.. but...zilch, no awknowledgement.

We can cuddle on the couch for the next 3 hours...no mention...no awknowlegement that I am diapered. Crinkles as long as the day...nothing

Bedtime, Im laying there in nothing but an obviosuly wet diaper...begging to be told..you should change before bed.....nothing....as if it doesn't exist.

We have had this discussion multiple times because it breaks my heart and makes me despressed but it always ends the same way.

"its just not my thing"

Dammit...10 years ago you were excited when I got you a paci and sippy cup, you let me diaper you and you daily threatned to pee on me...but now you wont even awknowledge the fact that this is going on?

Ugh.

Our sexlife is stagnet as F. It was INSANE back in the above days...

Im so lost and forever dispise that I made all the WRONG moves before things like Podcasts such as DaddyIWant this exist.

I desperatly need to know how to sit her down and have this conversation again properly because her saying "i dont want to do it, wear diapers and pretend like I like it" kills me

No, I just want you to engage.

Pat my bum

Suggest I get changed before bed

Check me

Get my stuff TO get changed before bed, lay it out for me, show me you are enagaged short of actually doing it.

Oh I had a bad day at work...suggest I get into my little stuff, dont always leave it to me to decide...show me you have ANY interst in my happiness

Im rambling now.

Someone help me fix this lol

I can relate to this myself. Since i told my wife about me liking diapers way back, only 2 years into our relationship. It was a roller coaster of love/hate this diaper lover thing for her. Sometimes she would like to incorporate diapers in the bedroom and then the next day say she doesn't want to anything to do with them. Fast forward a few years and now she accepts this part of me and knows it's not going away. Its still not "HER THING" but every now and then she will wear one, d with me and play in bed. Those nights are awsome. Shes not abdl her self just does it for me cuz it turns me on. 98 percent of the time its just me in a diaper when i feel like wearing one. All and all i have it pretty good but i wish she was just a little more into it. I'd like to talk more openly about abdl to her but she doesn't want to hear about the life style. Sometimes it does feel lonely because she doesn't want to talk about trying different parts of this abdl world.

 

[Rescue]

I can relate to this myself. Since i told my wife about me liking diapers way back, only 2 years into our relationship. It was a roller coaster of love/hate this diaper lover thing for her. Sometimes she would like to incorporate diapers in the bedroom and then the next day say she doesn't want to anything to do with them. Fast forward a few years and now she accepts this part of me and knows it's not going away. Its still not "HER THING" but every now and then she will wear one, d with me and play in bed. Those nights are awsome. Shes not abdl her self just does it for me cuz it turns me on. 98 percent of the time its just me in a diaper when i feel like wearing one. All and all i have it pretty good but i wish she was just a little more into it. I'd like to talk more openly about abdl to her but she doesn't want to hear about the life style. Sometimes it does feel lonely because she doesn't want to talk about trying different parts of this abdl world.

I’d love to get here

I know it’s not her thing but wish she would indulge even a few times a year simply because she knows it’s MY thing

I’ve done all the usuals. Making sure the house is clean; supper is made; kids are looked after etc in hopes she might surprise me some time to no avail

 

[Dldlns2]

I’d love to get here

I know it’s not her thing but wish she would indulge even a few times a year simply because she knows it’s MY thing

I’ve done all the usuals. Making sure the house is clean; supper is made; kids are looked after etc in hopes she might surprise me some time to no avail

I hear ya. Maybe have a heart to heart, tell her this is who you are and you and it probably wont change. Tell her you need to feel comfortable around her with diapers and not so shameful feeling. Does she care if you wear whenever you want? Or doesn't want to see anything? When i talked to my wife tor the 100th time about what i like and stuff i asked if she could acknowledge when im in one like little butt rubs and whatnot. She is getting better at it. Little steps.

 

[newt]

I would consider finding a sex therapist and working through everything with them. I'd imagine going to a couples therapy, but I don't know your wife and how she'd react to that. And I don't mean you need a therapist because ABDL is bad or anything to be ashamed about because its not. But I do think one may be able to help you work through your relationship with ABDL and your love life with your wife.

You say it helps to talk casually about it so maybe it would help to talk about it with someone outside. It would be useful to work through your feelings in general, but also your feelings to her pulling away from ABDL. They can probably give you good advice on how to manage the situation and your emotions in relation to that as well. And find ways that help her build confidence and better communication.

Like I said, I think it would be even more helpful to do it together, but asking about going together may scare her more than help. But it also might not, I don't know her so that would be a judgment for you to make. I'm not ABDL really, but I am also more kinky than my fiancée, so I know it can be difficult managing a situation where your desires and her limits meet. Its frustrating, demoralizing, and can be an emotional roller coaster.

I do think you should focus more on improving your sex life outside of ABDL for a bit. But I also don't like anything that requires the suppression of kinks, which are fundamental aspects of sexuality. Which is why I think a good sex therapist can help walk that line and hopefully improve your relationship.

 

[FlynnRyder24]

The best thing you can do is accept that your wife isn't you. She clearly now thinks differently than she once did, and is now struggling with an ABDL lifestyle.

If she doesn't feel confident or comfortable with anything outside of vanilla sex, then don't force the issue. Just don't wear a diaper when having sex, and see if that helps to re invigorate your sex life?

You don't necessarily need to stop being ABDL or little completely, just when you plan on having sex. It's clear that your wife views the fact that you are wearing a diaper, when engaging in sex with her, as a barrier to her enjoying climax.

So remove the barrier, and see if that helps?

Thank you for the advice! I don’t typically where a diaper when we have sex either. We talked about it and I expressed how I was feeling and we both agreed our sex life has been a little bland as of late. I then asked if there was anything she would like to try or she was interested in and she didn’t have an answer. I don’t think I could ever stop being an ABDL deep down but I think we have other stressors in our life playing a role in our disconnect. Thank you again for the kind words!

 

[DL85]

We have had a couple conversations really about how she is feeling about it and she has been struggling with the ABDL side as of late. When I ask why or what she is struggling with, she doesn’t like the fact that anytime she wants to climax, her first thought is of me in a diaper/sucking on her breasts. She also mentioned how she hasn’t been feeling very confident with anything outside of vanilla sex at all.

Every now and then when we are texting, I try to be playful about my ABDL stuff (it helps me talk about it more casually rather than bottle it up) and only because I’m trying to be exciting. She has never expressed any of her own kinks when I have asked so I am not sure what else to be kinky about other than ABDL. It’s been months since she has wanted to do anything ABDL related and I’m giving her the space but I just don’t know what to do to help alleviate some of the stress for her. Do any of you folks have any ideas or had situations

You said that she has been accepting of your ABDL side until recently. Is it possible that she maybe is feeling a little hurt that you maybe seem a little bit more excited by diapers than by her? Forgive me if I may have misunderstood anything. From what you have said, she does seem pretty vanilla and perhaps she just wants to have vanilla sex and keep the ABDL activities out of the bedroom. You should probably have an actual conversation with her about this and not through text because then you can better assess how she feels about everything. Good luck.

 

[FlynnRyder24]

I would consider finding a sex therapist and working through everything with them. I'd imagine going to a couples therapy, but I don't know your wife and how she'd react to that. And I don't mean you need a therapist because ABDL is bad or anything to be ashamed about because its not. But I do think one may be able to help you work through your relationship with ABDL and your love life with your wife.

You say it helps to talk casually about it so maybe it would help to talk about it with someone outside. It would be useful to work through your feelings in general, but also your feelings to her pulling away from ABDL. They can probably give you good advice on how to manage the situation and your emotions in relation to that as well. And find ways that help her build confidence and better communication.

Like I said, I think it would be even more helpful to do it together, but asking about going together may scare her more than help. But it also might not, I don't know her so that would be a judgment for you to make. I'm not ABDL really, but I am also more kinky than my fiancée, so I know it can be difficult managing a situation where your desires and her limits meet. Its frustrating, demoralizing, and can be an emotional roller coaster.

I do think you should focus more on improving your sex life outside of ABDL for a bit. But I also don't like anything that requires the suppression of kinks, which are fundamental aspects of sexuality. Which is why I think a good sex therapist can help walk that line and hopefully improve your relationship.

We are each seeing our own therapists and we have been to couples counseling before (in a good way lol). I’m working with mine to overcome the guilt feeling I get anytime I participate which I am sure plays a part on how she reacts too if I am changing out of a diaper and sulking around the house or looking like I’ve just done the worst thing. I think I need to change my mind set on how I react to my ABDL side and hopefully the more positive vibes will make the pieces fall into place ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ thank you for your post!

 

[FlynnRyder24]

You may not like to hear this but to me, it sounds like you're neglecting her wants and desires in favor of your own. She's expressed that she's more interested in vanilla sex, but you're fixated on being kinky as the only way to get off. She doesn't seem to have much interest in ABDL, but has been participating in it because she loves you and wants to make you happy. She seems burnt out on it. You bringing up ABDL stuff casually and playfully is exciting for you, but may not be for her. You need to find out what makes her happy and indulge her in it, and that doesn't have to include kinks at all. She may not have kinks of her own, not everyone does, but she's willing to indulge you in yours as long as you make sure her needs are taken care of. Relationships are all about compromise, you're two different people with different wants and needs and you have to learn to meet in the middle.

The way I like to think of it is using food as an analogy: Say one of person absolutely loves spicy food and the other person doesn't like it very much, but they love sharing meals together. The person who doesn't like it might try to eat hotter food with you to share that joy with person 1, but they might not enjoy the food as much as they would if it wasn't spicy. They wouldn't be very happy if person 1 only wanted to eat spicy food with them all the time.
The same applies for the reverse. The person who likes spicy food might try to eat not-spicy food with person 2 more often, but they know they'd enjoy the meal more if it was hotter. They wouldn't be like it if person 2 made them only eat food that wasn't spicy. They can't both be fully happy all the time but it's not fair to prioritize the likes of one person over the other, so they alternate eating spicy and not spicy food and experiment with different levels of spiciness as a compromise. Compromising brings them closer together and makes sharing meals more enjoyable for both of them.

Well you know what they say: sometimes the truth hurts. A part of me wants to come up with excuses as to why this couldn't be it and I am thinking about her but in the end I think it is just me dodging the heart of the issue. This thought has been weighing heavily on me for a while. I have to recognize I have been pretty selfish in my desires and haven't really considered this. Thank you for this, I really appreciate it. Also, my wife and I fit perfectly in the analogy! I love spicy and she doesn't but we definitely have communicated this WAY better than anything diaper related haha