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- Diaperfur
I don't really want to reintegrate into society post-COVID.
My world has changed so much through the pandemic. I lost a career, a s/o (breakup), a friend (suicide), and my mind (hospitalized) in the same weekend. I worked on myself, got into the best shape of my life, did freelance work, and met the absolute love of my life. She fell in love with little me as hard as she fell in love with big me. She pushed me to go full 24/7 and spent the late pandemic helping me fill closets with diapers; insisted I never go back to a full-time, brick and mortar job; made rules and adoption papers for me, and bought me so much stuff to get deep in the lifestyle (she has a really good job), helped me put together a new gender neutral, little-coded wardrobe...
This is a far cry from the super adult (and frankly depressing) existence I led before the pandemic. I had a super active social life and a budding music career, but I was a constant slave to peoples' perception. I cared so much what everyone thought and I thought that was just normal. I'm just scratching the surface here, but I'm trying not to go on too long.
Things are slowly getting to the point where they look like they're opening back up. Friends are calling, shows are happening, gigs are booking. And I don't want any part of it. I've gone to open mics, I've played a couple of shows with the band.. my S/O isn't keeping me anywhere, and insists that I get out and have a life if that's what I want to do! She's very protective over me and doesn't want me staying out too late, not telling her where I'm going, coming home drunk, etc... the basics. But she has offered me a bunch of freedoms! As a good Domme/Mommy/Owner should! But I... don't want them..?
I just don't care about it at all anymore. I don't feel like I relate to my old friends anymore. It feels nice to play shows with the band, but I don't want to stick around venues and sit at the bar anymore. I just want to go home and have Mommy change my diaper. I generally don't want to be anywhere I can't be diapered. The only "adult" hobby I maintain is the gym, and it's begrudgingly.. my physical health and mental health are intertwined, and my Mommy says the gym is absolutely non-negotiable. I don't find that unreasonable.
Frankly, though, I am not who I was pre-pandemic. I can't even pretend. I want to be home, padded, and safe with Mommy all the time. I want my whole world to revolve around my home and my Mommy (besides my needs :3). I hate taking my collar off to brave the world. I find it hard to think fully like an adult, and find that my thought patterns are usually "little/puppy" kinda thought patterns more than anything else. I don't want to do anything if it's not with Mommy. I have no desire to hang with friends/others who are not ABDL-aware/accepting. I find it weird and unnatural to go to an adult place and put my adult voice on and talk about adult things with adults. I always did, but before I basically had a 24/7 ABDL lifestyle, I thought I was just a highly anxious person. I have some non-ABDL friends from my old life I occasionally make a point to see (socialization is good for the mental health) once or twice a month, but our conversation is usually dead and they talk about sports or themselves and I always end up wondering why the heck I even came out.
I have a solid relationship with the sibling I raised (17, about to be 18), and my fiancée does, too. I made him aware of the presence of diapers in my apartment, but not my ABDL stuff. I kinda left it at "yeah, I wear diapers usually when I'm home. I just like 'em and they take my bladder anxiety away" -- and he was generally unfazed and didn't change how he was with me at all. He actually tried one at one point after I woke up and had to shampoo my couch because he wet while sleeping on it one weekend.
Anyway, I'm rambling.
TLDR - My life has completely changed since COVID, and now I am essentially living a 24/7 ABDL lifestyle designed/cosigned by my Mommy/fiancée. I don't talk to/see my old friends much and when I do it just kinda sucks, I hardly go out at all except for the gym, and am essentially a full-time homemaker/housepup. My Mommy has a good job and insists that I never work more than part time or outside of the home ever again if I don't want, and I find that my closest sibling who is at least diaper- and furry-aware is essentially my closest friend. Big change from being a budding musician socialite/full-time urban EMT/etc. And frankly, I don't want my old life back. My life is quiet and small now. I never thought I'd be the type for a quiet and small life, but I wouldn't change it for the world now.
Has anyone else's life changed wildly via the pandemic in a way they really don't want to reverse? I'm sure I'm not the only one.
My world has changed so much through the pandemic. I lost a career, a s/o (breakup), a friend (suicide), and my mind (hospitalized) in the same weekend. I worked on myself, got into the best shape of my life, did freelance work, and met the absolute love of my life. She fell in love with little me as hard as she fell in love with big me. She pushed me to go full 24/7 and spent the late pandemic helping me fill closets with diapers; insisted I never go back to a full-time, brick and mortar job; made rules and adoption papers for me, and bought me so much stuff to get deep in the lifestyle (she has a really good job), helped me put together a new gender neutral, little-coded wardrobe...
This is a far cry from the super adult (and frankly depressing) existence I led before the pandemic. I had a super active social life and a budding music career, but I was a constant slave to peoples' perception. I cared so much what everyone thought and I thought that was just normal. I'm just scratching the surface here, but I'm trying not to go on too long.
Things are slowly getting to the point where they look like they're opening back up. Friends are calling, shows are happening, gigs are booking. And I don't want any part of it. I've gone to open mics, I've played a couple of shows with the band.. my S/O isn't keeping me anywhere, and insists that I get out and have a life if that's what I want to do! She's very protective over me and doesn't want me staying out too late, not telling her where I'm going, coming home drunk, etc... the basics. But she has offered me a bunch of freedoms! As a good Domme/Mommy/Owner should! But I... don't want them..?
I just don't care about it at all anymore. I don't feel like I relate to my old friends anymore. It feels nice to play shows with the band, but I don't want to stick around venues and sit at the bar anymore. I just want to go home and have Mommy change my diaper. I generally don't want to be anywhere I can't be diapered. The only "adult" hobby I maintain is the gym, and it's begrudgingly.. my physical health and mental health are intertwined, and my Mommy says the gym is absolutely non-negotiable. I don't find that unreasonable.
Frankly, though, I am not who I was pre-pandemic. I can't even pretend. I want to be home, padded, and safe with Mommy all the time. I want my whole world to revolve around my home and my Mommy (besides my needs :3). I hate taking my collar off to brave the world. I find it hard to think fully like an adult, and find that my thought patterns are usually "little/puppy" kinda thought patterns more than anything else. I don't want to do anything if it's not with Mommy. I have no desire to hang with friends/others who are not ABDL-aware/accepting. I find it weird and unnatural to go to an adult place and put my adult voice on and talk about adult things with adults. I always did, but before I basically had a 24/7 ABDL lifestyle, I thought I was just a highly anxious person. I have some non-ABDL friends from my old life I occasionally make a point to see (socialization is good for the mental health) once or twice a month, but our conversation is usually dead and they talk about sports or themselves and I always end up wondering why the heck I even came out.
I have a solid relationship with the sibling I raised (17, about to be 18), and my fiancée does, too. I made him aware of the presence of diapers in my apartment, but not my ABDL stuff. I kinda left it at "yeah, I wear diapers usually when I'm home. I just like 'em and they take my bladder anxiety away" -- and he was generally unfazed and didn't change how he was with me at all. He actually tried one at one point after I woke up and had to shampoo my couch because he wet while sleeping on it one weekend.
Anyway, I'm rambling.
TLDR - My life has completely changed since COVID, and now I am essentially living a 24/7 ABDL lifestyle designed/cosigned by my Mommy/fiancée. I don't talk to/see my old friends much and when I do it just kinda sucks, I hardly go out at all except for the gym, and am essentially a full-time homemaker/housepup. My Mommy has a good job and insists that I never work more than part time or outside of the home ever again if I don't want, and I find that my closest sibling who is at least diaper- and furry-aware is essentially my closest friend. Big change from being a budding musician socialite/full-time urban EMT/etc. And frankly, I don't want my old life back. My life is quiet and small now. I never thought I'd be the type for a quiet and small life, but I wouldn't change it for the world now.
Has anyone else's life changed wildly via the pandemic in a way they really don't want to reverse? I'm sure I'm not the only one.
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