Non-IC 24/7ers: Are We "Extreme"?

[PetPuppyAlex]

As many here on ADISC know, I've been 24/7 for a long time. So have several of y'all. It's a dope little community we have here on ADISC and I love leveraging my experience and feelings regarding diapers and my AB/DL experience to help newcomers and those earlier in their journeys.

Just like I see a lot of posts about people going 24/7, I see a *lot* more posts on *and* off ADISC about people who are super secretive about this side of their lives. They don't even tell their S/O. Now, because of my experience, I tend to frequent and notice posts about 24/7 more than the latter. The progression to 24/7 has simply been such a natural and supported one in my life -- one that I never regret. I have never once considered myself "extreme" for being 24/7, but the most "shining" examples of people who live like me are the people like Paigey and Riley Kilo, who have had entire TV specials on how they live so extremely different from the norm.

I don't feel like my life deserves a TLC special. I don't feel like an oddity, or like I'm doing anything wrong. It just seems like being in diapers/little full-time is an extreme position to take even to others within our community. I have zero regrets about my choice to live my life as, essentially, a padded 4-year-old most of the time.. But I work, I play games, I cook, I clean, I have a band, I tour, and I just frankly don't see anything that weird about my lifestyle. Diaper checks and changes, in public or otherwise, are just normal and not really anything I think too hard about. I don't feel the need to be super secretive about my life because I simply don't really care much about what people think. I *used* to until I was out to enough people and realized that truly, truly, nobody cares. Mostly, nobody notices. I wear thick, crinkly ABDL diapers everywhere I go and only change twice a day. I just don't mess in public, but other than that, I don't go to any great lengths. I drink a lot of water, but that's it.

I know the media sensationalizes everything, I just don't feel like ABDL -- as a whole lifestyle, even -- is that extreme. If anything, seeing the aforementioned "media stars" living ABDL as a 24/7 lifestyle showed me that my life could look like that. It never crossed my mind that it would be overindulgence or "extreme". I just feel like even some people in the community almost seem to think that 24/7 is an extreme thing that only the most staunch AB/DLs who are committed to upturning their entire lives and burning bridges and coming out to everyone would be interested in due to an unhealthy obsession. What do y'all think?

 

[littledub1955]

I wear thick cotton diapers with boosters at night that I have to pin on with diaper pins and cover with plastic pants. I pin them on snug, but not right, which allows me to pull them up or down like underwear. They had become so comfortable to me that I started having feelings of anxiety wearing disposables during the day and would feel that way all day long until I pinned my diaper on after my evening shower. So after a long time suffering like this during the day, I finally decided to wear my night time diaper (less the booster pad) during the day too and I immediately stopped feeling anxious during the day. I also stopped wetting the bed every night and only wet the bed occasionally now. The best thing I like about wearing all cotton diapers is feeling the softness of them rubbing against my skin as I move around. Never got that feeling with disposables. It's cotton twill diapers 24/7 for life now. I never would have had to wear diapers again in the first place if my last job was standing in the street directing traffic with only four short breaks a day in a 12 to 14 hour period. What I used to blame for causing my incontinence has turned out to be the blessing that reintroduced me to the comfort I only experienced as a baby and a small toddler. I can't remember back that far but now I can have that feeling of comfort 24/7 for the rest of my life.

 

[WeakEndPartyPerson]

I'm no longer allowed to go by the title I was given by medical professionals as it causes nothing but grief: I don't role-play as an infant but a handful of times in the last decade I've worn nappies 24/7.
I think the longest I managed was two months (it might have been three but I still trust my memory), I don't think my actions were extreme (going 24/7), members of this scene who have a dummy (pacifier) on their keyrings, wear associated logo hats and shirts or publicly rustle without caring are to me extreme.
There is a code of conduct we really should all share and one big cornerstone is not to force this lifestyle on people
...and I pretty much don't ...my on-going misson to use every certain-way (fashion?) infant changing room of every supermarket in the UK will probably end in disaster but 1. that's a demon I must grapple with and 2. in 90% of the good ones you can still lock the door
...but that'd be my extremeness I suppose.
-
BW

 

[Lyric]

I wear thick cotton diapers with boosters at night that I have to pin on with diaper pins and cover with plastic pants. I pin them on snug, but not right, which allows me to pull them up or down like underwear. They had become so comfortable to me that I started having feelings of anxiety wearing disposables during the day and would feel that way all day long until I pinned my diaper on after my evening shower. So after a long time suffering like this during the day, I finally decided to wear my night time diaper (less the booster pad) during the day too and I immediately stopped feeling anxious during the day. I also stopped wetting the bed every night and only wet the bed occasionally now. The best thing I like about wearing all cotton diapers is feeling the softness of them rubbing against my skin as I move around. Never got that feeling with disposables. It's cotton twill diapers 24/7 for life now. I never would have had to wear diapers again in the first place if my last job was standing in the street directing traffic with only four short breaks a day in a 12 to 14 hour period. What I used to blame for causing my incontinence has turned out to be the blessing that reintroduced me to the comfort I only experienced as a baby and a small toddler. I can't remember back that far but now I can have that feeling of comfort 24/7 for the rest of my life.

I'm 10 years older than you and couldn't possibly fall asleep at night unless I'm wearing my nighttime cloth prefolds with cloth insert covered by my plastic pants and pinned together with my ducky heard diaper pins. Wake up most morning at least partially wet and complete the process before I get up to make coffer for my SO and me. Once we finish our coffee, I'm changed into a fresh cloth prefold, pinned by my favorite diaper pins and covered by cute plastic pants. Been like this for nearly 20 years, just like when I was a bedwetting teen and mom diapered me in cloth diapers and rubber pants. I love the feelings of going potty in my warm soft cloth diapers and feel the moisture all around my bottom and front.

 

[68Bonnie]

This is probably the first time I've heard of wearing 24/7 as "extreme." Of course, I also think it has something to do with this site; I've seen threads here where talking about wanting to be 'diaper dependent' or just a bedwetter as being a form of "self-harm", as if it's the same as cutting yourself, which I think is nonsense.

 

[SeniorMan]

I love the feelings of going potty in my warm soft cloth diapers and feel the moisture all around my bottom and front.

I'm really interested in and involved with wearing poopy diapers thus feeling the poop on my butt for extended periods of time. I poop whenever I'm able to, which is several times daily. I wear them until someone else wants me to eliminate the odor meaning that I'm to change my diaper. My diaper-changer has used Ultra Sure™ Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant (available at Walmart) on my butt after cleaning it in violation of its label directions for underarm use only. I wear Prevail® diapers with Skin Smart® Fabric: A hypoallergenic fabric containing Vitamin E along with natural botanicals Aloe and Chamomile to protect, sooth, and promote healthy skin. This fabric has a nice, comfortable feel.

 

[BrattyPrincessSophie]

This is probably the first time I've heard of wearing 24/7 as "extreme." Of course, I also think it has something to do with this site; I've seen threads here where talking about wanting to be 'diaper dependent' or just a bedwetter as being a form of "self-harm", as if it's the same as cutting yourself, which I think is nonsense.

Yeah, I was baffled by that rule change, too. I can't say I see the connection, there.

 

[AtPeace]

This is probably the first time I've heard of wearing 24/7 as "extreme." Of course, I also think it has something to do with this site; I've seen threads here where talking about wanting to be 'diaper dependent' or just a bedwetter as being a form of "self-harm", as if it's the same as cutting yourself, which I think is nonsense.

I think "self-harm" can be translated here as "a possibly irreversible and likely regrettable decision."

 

[BrattyPrincessSophie]

I think "self-harm" can be translated here as "a possibly irreversible and likely regrettable decision."

It's a sound surface level argument, but the problem comes when you try to apply that logic consistently. If you were to apply that logic consistently, then hormones, SRS and other parts of transition could technically also fall under the category of "a possibly irreversible and likely regrettable decision." I don't think there's any way to apply that logic consistently without throwing trans people under the bus. I think some form of empirical study of people who have gone through that process and whether they regret it could provide some insight into the overall likelihood of regretting it. I have, actually, taken the liberty of drafting an elaborate compromise to the dilemma, but debated whether or not to post it publicly in hopes someone would listen and make a note of it, or take the pragmatic option and accept that battle was lost and move on.

 

[AtPeace]

then hormones, SRS and other parts of transition could technically also fall under the category of "a possibly irreversible and likely regrettable decision."

Well I'm the wrong guy to ask because that is exactly what I think of SRS.

 

[NaughtyAndrew]

It's a sound surface level argument, but the problem comes when you try to apply that logic consistently. If you were to apply that logic consistently, then hormones, SRS and other parts of transition could technically also fall under the category of "a possibly irreversible and likely regrettable decision." I don't think there's any way to apply that logic consistently without throwing trans people under the bus. I think some form of empirical study of people who have gone through that process and whether they regret it could provide some insight into the overall likelihood of regretting it. I have, actually, taken the liberty of drafting an elaborate compromise to the dilemma, but debated whether or not to post it publicly in hopes someone would listen and make a note of it, or take the pragmatic option and accept that battle was lost and move on.

Why does everything turn into a trans people argument? Anyway...

I feel like I have to share that I am transsexual, transitioned at an older age, no regret (at this point), but took many years to get here. But I do think that certain components of transition have the potential to be harmful, regrettable, and are certainly, without a doubt, no matter if harm is done or not, are irreversible. Are some of these things worth it? It is subjective to the individual. IMO I think medical action is a *decision* that takes a LOT of time, many years, many different modes of thought (like "what if I am not actually transsexual?") acceptance of biological sex (it is not changable...I can change my secondary sex characteristics, sure, but I will never be able to have babies with my partners, and that's reality; many people are not going to be interested in me because of my genitalia, whether I'm pre-op or post-op <or somewhere in between>...but i had to accept that as a homosexual before I ever medically transitioned...it was just a fact of life), and to proceed with extreme caution -- exactly because said changes are irreversible.

Could this potentially be a form of self harm? Absolutely. There are a lot of people now detransitioning - they transitioned pre-18 (even pre-25) and now identify as their natal sex. Many regret, some don't. It's a thing.

----

Anyway, self harm is actually quite hard to define. In many cultures painful rites of passage involve cutting into the flesh of another, but that is not self harm (even if the person cuts their own skin, for example). It's a ritual. Get some little girl cutting her arm out of her own mental pain? Sure, that's self harm. A diet? Usually not. A diet that goes to far and turns into self harm (an eating disorder)? Yes.

In my opinion, going 24/7 isn't necessarily self harm. Can it be? Sure. It depends. What are the social consequences to doing so (like...if someone is willing to throw away family, friends, etc for a fetish, that's pretty harmful imo)? Does this improve or worsen one's quality of life? Does it isolate the person? Does it hurt them? Well....it's subjective. Is it extreme to go 24/7? IMO, any fetish gone 24/7 is a bit...extreme. But I am not going to judge. I'm a fucking transsexual who wears diapers...often. And I d

 

[BrattyPrincessSophie]

Why does everything turn into a trans people argument? Anyway...

I feel like I have to share that I am transsexual, transitioned at an older age, no regret (at this point), but took many years to get here. But I do think that certain components of transition have the potential to be harmful, regrettable, and are certainly, without a doubt, no matter if harm is done or not, are irreversible. Are some of these things worth it? It is subjective to the individual. IMO I think medical action is a *decision* that takes a LOT of time, many years, many different modes of thought (like "what if I am not actually transsexual?") acceptance of biological sex (it is not changable...I can change my secondary sex characteristics, sure, but I will never be able to have babies with my partners, and that's reality; many people are not going to be interested in me because of my genitalia, whether I'm pre-op or post-op <or somewhere in between>...but i had to accept that as a homosexual before I ever medically transitioned...it was just a fact of life), and to proceed with extreme caution -- exactly because said changes are irreversible.

Could this potentially be a form of self harm? Absolutely. There are a lot of people now detransitioning - they transitioned pre-18 (even pre-25) and now identify as their natal sex. Many regret, some don't. It's a thing.

----

Anyway, self harm is actually quite hard to define. In many cultures painful rites of passage involve cutting into the flesh of another, but that is not self harm (even if the person cuts their own skin, for example). It's a ritual. Get some little girl cutting her arm out of her own mental pain? Sure, that's self harm. A diet? Usually not. A diet that goes to far and turns into self harm (an eating disorder)? Yes.

In my opinion, going 24/7 isn't necessarily self harm. Can it be? Sure. It depends. What are the social consequences to doing so (like...if someone is willing to throw away family, friends, etc for a fetish, that's pretty harmful imo)? Does this improve or worsen one's quality of life? Does it isolate the person? Does it hurt them? Well....it's subjective. Is it extreme to go 24/7? IMO, any fetish gone 24/7 is a bit...extreme. But I am not going to judge. I'm a fucking transsexual who wears diapers...often. And I d

Being trans myself, I was merely playing Devil's Advocate to point out the flaw in that logic of that irreversible and likely regrettable qualifier. That said I personally think a clear and concise definition is in order and the following is the clearest, most consistent and concise definition I could come up with.

Self-harm = Any direct or indirect physical or mental action taken with the explicit or otherwise implicit intent (INTENT being the key word, here) to cause oneself pain, suffering, or death.

 

[Prairie]

Yes, it is.

 

[chamberpot]

Non incontinent 24/7 user here for last 4-6 years , extreme ??? no I just wear a different kind of underwear and use a different kind of toilet... and how did this turn into a trans discussion

 

[irnub]

then hormones, SRS and other parts of transition could technically also fall under the category of "a possibly irreversible and likely regrettable decision."

It's really not that hard: is it being done under supervision of a medical professional?

 

[68Bonnie]

In the end, it doesn't matter what other people think; in regards to transgender people that go through the full transition, some may regret it, but that doesn't mean it's wrong for other transgender people to fully transition; everybody is an individual, and not all transgender people regret fully transitioning. Likewise, not all people that choose to wear 24/7, or choose to become diaper-dependent, regret the decision, even if it is difficult for those that regret it to re-toilet train. But I think it *is* wrong to not be able to talk about these topics openly, without the fear of having them labeled as being a form of "self harm."

For goodness sake, the 'D' in ADISC stands for "Diaper Lover", and I was one of those diaper lovers that knew I wanted to be back in diapers at the age of 6; I used to imagine ways I could sneak my younger cousins diapers back home after visiting, but I never could do it. I think maybe the "Incontinent" group (because this site is a support group for all, after all; but the "I" in ADISC still comes AFTER "Adult Baby" and "Diaper Lover") has gotten a bit too much sway in how things are run around here; again, it's only *recently* that I've heard of wearing 24/7 as being "extreme", and wanting to be diaper-dependent as being a form of "self harm."

 

[NinaAlex]

Well I'm the wrong guy to ask because that is exactly what I think of SRS.

It's a surgery with a surprisingly low regret rate, if you compare it to many other elective surgeries.
For many, like me, it's the only way we can even hope to live life without hating at least part of our body.

Why does everything turn into a trans people argument?

My guess, there is a lot of overlap in the communities, and that's how we can easily relate to this topic.

IMO I think medical action is a *decision* that takes a LOT of time, many years

How long people need for it is very dependent on the person. I've been living with this knowledge, buried, and still processing under the surface for 19 years.
I've finally accepted that I'm trans about two years ago. Went on hormones three months later, because I was sure that I needed to at least try, and waiting any longer was torture. It only took days until I was sure that this was right for me.
Now, two years after my realization, I'm essentially mostly finished with transition. I've had a first surgery, orchiectomy, and it's been a great decision. I'm finally rid of the depression I carried around with me for 25y, and all I've got left is SRS, and a bit more laser hair removal.
I pass surprisingly well, and I'm still amazed about it, but life finally feels right, and not something I need to escape at any opportunity. I now recognize myself in the mirror, and I'm happy about my life for the first time since my childhood. I'm looking forward to SRS, even if it's still 2y in the future, but if I was offered to get the surgery done in a few months, I'd jump on the opportunity. I'm confident that I'll be very happy with the results.

There are a lot of people now detransitioning

There are more people detransitioning, but the ratio hasn't changed. There are only more, because more people transition. Detransition rates have been and are still below 1%, and of those, most retransition within a few years.

Now back to the topic:

While I do have a kind of reason that is medical, it wouldn't usually warrant wearing full diapers 24/7. Going 24/7 was a choice.
Do I have control? Yes, some days more, some days less, even after a decade now.
Do I trust myself without a diaper? For a short while, yes. But I wouldn't ever leave my house without a diaper, or just spend a day without, because frankly, I don't trust myself to do that. I've gotten so used to wearing diapers, and using them for peeing, that I'd likely forget I'm not wearing one, and just wet myself without thinking.
Did I ever regret going 24/7? No, not one moment.
Do I do anything to actively lose control? No. I don't feel any need to do that at all. I wet without really thinking about it most days, and only in some situations will my bladder, usually due to posture, just keep holding it in, and I'll have to pee intentionally.
There are those days my bladder seems to check in with me prior to wetting, and I'll have to gently initiate it, and it will do the rest. Other days I don't notice a thing, I'll just check my diaper, and notice it's wet. I'll have weeks and months where I wake up dry, and start wetting as I wake up, and I've got phases, sometimes as long as a month or two, where I wet myself in my sleep most nights.
It's not really predictable, but I don't really care. I like wearing diapers, and they are my underwear of choice for over a decade now. I find them convenient, and they've solved a weird sensory problem I had with my bladder that sometimes caused a ton of pain. I don't plan to ever go back to consistently using the toilet instead of diapers.

I do not consider going 24/7 to be self-harm. It can be, but it doesn't have to be.
If someone tried going 24/7 for short periods several times, and has gotten used to all the things you don't really think about, until you're wearing 24/7, (like thinking about how many diapers you have, and making sure you don't run out, making sure to always bring enough diapers for any trip, evaluating if you need to bring a change, or not, for any outing, and changing in public restrooms), and then decides to go 24/7, that's not self harm, that's making an informed choice, after evaluating it thoroughly.

Trying to intentionally damage your body to take away your choice in the matter is something I'd consider self-harm though.
You don't need to lose all control to wear diapers 24/7. Over time you'll definitely lose some control, but you'll likely never lose it completely.

It's really not that hard: is it being done under supervision of a medical professional?

Doing SRS without supervision of a medical professional is a good way to die of blood loss.
But hormones? I've been DIYing my hormones for over six months, before I finally got my first prescription. I thoroughly read up about human endocrinology, the drugs involved and the different methods to get them in your body. Even my endo tells me, that I knew what I was doing. Did I want medical supervision, hell yes. But the system insisted on several different steps, with an undetermined time to wait for each, and I was at a point where it was, either I do this, or I'll likely do actual self harm, possibly something very permanent. The choice was very easy, and I do not consider my DIYing my HRT for over six months, while doing monthly blood tests, as a form of self harm. For me it was self defense, from a medical system that insisted that I wait, while my mental health is getting worse and worse, even though I had a very good idea that this would help a lot, and it did, more than I even imagined.

Doctors don't have any magic knowledge, most of it is actually freely available, and all one has to do is read up on it.
I've been thoroughly disillusioned with doctors in the last couple of years, because many wouldn't have let me even start hormones, on account of my autism. The stereotypes that I just wouldn't know what I'm doing, and couldn't be sure about my gender are utter bullshit, but they are still prevalent. From what I hear, my DIYing actually helped convince doctors that this is right for me, since I was doing a ton better, and I've taken the actual decision away from them. I was not going to stop hormones, with how much they improved my life and mental health, for anything that isn't life threatening, and told them so, so the decision was to let me do this above board, and give me a prescription, or let me continue without the supervision of a medical professional, that I've been asking for since before I started DIYing.

It's the same for going 24/7. If one just decides to wear diapers 24/7 one day, usually after having tried for a month or two a couple of times before, and just keeps at it, I don't see why a medical professional should be involved. If someone desperately tries to get rid of their bladder control, to force themselves into diapers, that's a whole other story, and there may be psychological issues involved, that don't necessarily have to do with bladder control or diapers. Partially it may just be the stigma, and while society will accept someone wearing diapers, who doesn't have any control, most people wouldn't accept diapers as a valid choice for underwear, without any need.

This societal pressure can lead to this kind of self harm, and accepting this choice, and dealing with that, seems to be key. For most people I play up the medical problem wearing diapers solved for me, and while it was one factor in going 24/7, I doubt it alone would have lead to more than wearing light protection, and maybe diapers for special situations where concentration is needed, and going to the toilet with very little notice isn't really very realistic. The reason I chose to wear thick diapers 24/7 instead, is that I like wearing and using them.

 

[enigmatic]

I’m not 24/7. The only reasons I’m not are because my lifestyle doesn’t permit it and I think diapers would lose their novelty. However, in theory I’d love to do so.

I don’t think wearing 24/7 is extreme if you’re not incontinent. I think it’s just a lifestyle choice. It’s no different than any lifestyle choice we make for ourselves.

Besides, I think the ability to wear diapers all of the time and never worry about having to find a toilet is quite awesome and liberating. So don’t feel badly about your choice. Embrace it.

 

[CrazySmoker]

IMHO 24/7 has its consequences:
- high risk to be outed,
- obsessive drive,
- social exclusion,
- and may something else.

Note: I'm not writing abouts ICs. I think all of them if they could, leave the IC somewhere for ever.

 

[Peesalot]

I was 24/7 for about 3 years before I discovered the joy of wearing panties and other lingerie. Now I split my time. Quite honestly, I think men wearing lingerie is more extreme than wearing diapers. However, I don't really believe either are particularly extreme. Are they outside what is considered normal? Sure they are.

IMHO 24/7 has its consequences:
- high risk to be outed,
- obsessive drive,
- social exclusion,

I might disagree with these points with a greater explanation of the poster's intent. If a person is attentive to their diapers, there is no reason to ever be outed. If they are not careful about what diapers they wear, how they wear them, and if they change them when needed, then they do have a higher risk of others knowing. I never found anything obsessive about wearing 24/7. I can't imagine anyone I'd want to socialize with that would shun me if they did discover I wore diapers (or panties). Those people are not friends. They are dime a dozen acquaintances and are easily replaced if necessary.