For wearing diapers to bed- I think as long as you go to bed with a nice, dry diaper you should be fine throughout the night as long as it is absorbent enough! If I wear throughout the night (usually I don't unless I'm on my period- but I do wear the entire day up until bedtime) I like to wear Tykables Unicorns during the day and Overnights if I'm sleeping diapered. Basically, I like my diapers to have at least 7,000ml capacity so I feel safe from leaks and I make sure to always use lotion and powder during every diaper change to help prevent rashes too! I've never had a diaper rash before (I've only been diapering since the end of this July though lol) but I've heard that even what you eat can make your pee and poo more acidic, making you more likely to have a rash. I try to change my wet diapers every 5-6 hours during the day and if I'm sleeping in it (I always go to bed starting dry) I'll be ok with waiting until morning. But, messy diapers I always change out of right away, get all cleaned off using wipes then, take a shower (unless I'm at work, I'll do my normal diaper change and take a shower either when I get home right away or when it's time for my next diaper change- depends on how wet my diaper is tbh)
For changing your own diaper- I started out learning the standing up using the wall method because I wanted to have this method down just in case I ever needed to change and didn't have a space to lay down. This has already come in handy several times just at work! To do this method I like to pull my pants down first, then, unfold your diaper making sure the wings are also unfolded and put it between your legs with the side with the tapes on the back of the diaper so when you pull them towards yourself, they should be on the thighs and hips. Then lean against the wall and close your legs to help hold it in place. Then, pull the front of the diaper up so it's snug, but make sure the front and back waistbands are lined up, you don't want once side to be higher than the other or else you might make a gap between your legs that could cause leaks. Then, I like to fasten the bottom tapes on each side first, I try to make them as straight as possible, then I pull the back and front parts of the diaper and pull them up again just to make sure I'm getting a snug fit and I close my legs again to hold it in place. Then, fasten the top tapes and pull your pants back up and you're FINALLY done!!
It might be a little tricky at first (I had to ask Daddy to put me in my first diaper :3) but you'll get better at it as you learn what fits best for you!! I've only been diapering since the end of July and now I can change my own diaper usually in about 5 minutes!!! It's pretty easy for me now!!!
For wearing diapers- I'm thinking you mean wearing them while still being discreet? To be honest, I pretty much just wear my regular clothes- dresses and skirts mostly (unless I'm at work, then it's high waisted skinny jeans (to hide diaper waistband and I think them being skinny jeans helps keep the diaper from crinkling?) I just wear whatever I want, if someone can hear me crinkling, it doesn't bother me since I am probably the only one paying attention to the sound. Unless I'm at work then I'm a little more conscious of it but that's because the manager is there with me most days and she's a family member lol but other than that I'm not worried about it. I highly doubt most people are going around looking for diaper butts lol and even if they are and they do know, it's their fault for looking, as long as your not out in public purposefully pulling your dress up or pants down to show it off- you're not doing anything wrong <3
