New Job

[CptKirk]

I find this pretty ironic. There are so many topics and posts on this website about people wanting to wear diapers to work, but not having an excuse. And the advice that always goes around is to just tell the boss/HR that you're incontinent, even if you're not. Here you are with actual incontinence, and you don't want to let your employer know. You do you. Like I said... it's just ironic.

I couldn't agree more. By telling the boss, owner or HR, you are GUARANTEEING that you will never be harassed! SO WHAT if they know. You're incontinent! Me? NO WAY the people in positions of power are not made aware of every issue I have, medically related, that might attract attention in one way or another. I can't undersand what the fear is here as the only way you might possibly encounter issues is by trying to keep it a secret and face it, if you're around the same people for a long ewnough time, sooner or later they are going to "discover you secret"! that's just me though, looking at it from the eyes of a former bu8siness owner, manager, lead mechanic and boss.

CptKirk

 

[BabyHailey1977]

I couldn't agree more. By telling the boss, owner or HR, you are GUARANTEEING that you will never be harassed! SO WHAT if they know. You're incontinent! Me? NO WAY the people in positions of power are not made aware of every issue I have, medically related, that might attract attention in one way or another. I can't undersand what the fear is here as the only way you might possibly encounter issues is by trying to keep it a secret and face it, if you're around the same people for a long ewnough time, sooner or later they are going to "discover you secret"! that's just me though, looking at it from the eyes of a former bu8siness owner, manager, lead mechanic and boss.

CptKirk

I completely agree with you. Problem is that looks like I was fired because of my incontinence. I went to HR to report that my boss was harassing me over it, and three weeks later they trumped up stuff and fired me. So now I’m a little hesitant.

 

[GoodnitesAreGoat]

If you do tell HR be sure to do it in writing. That way if any bologna happens you will have undisputable proof.

 

[CptKirk]

I completely agree with you. Problem is that looks like I was fired because of my incontinence. I went to HR to report that my boss was harassing me over it, and three weeks later they trumped up stuff and fired me. So now I’m a little hesitant.

This is why you document EVERYTHING! Sadly, if someone wants to fire you, creating fireable offenses is not too difficult, but that's up to a court to decide when you bring a lawsuit for discrimination. LOTS of lawyers feed on this sort of event.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

This is why you document EVERYTHING! Sadly, if someone wants to fire you, creating fireable offenses is not too difficult, but that's up to a court to decide when you bring a lawsuit for discrimination. LOTS of lawyers feed on this sort of event.

I learned a lot from this. Everything will be documented.

 

[CptKirk]

I learned a lot from this. Everything will be documented.

You make sure to document EVERY SINGLE ENCOUNTER, direct quotes, times and dates, witnesses. EVERYTHING!

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Well here is an update to my experience so far. I absolutely love my new job. The people are amazing, specifically, my team is very supportive with teaching me what to do.

With the diapers, I have not said anything to anyone yet, but a couple close calls in the bathroom has me wondering if I should ask if there is a single use bathroom around.

I almost want to just let the cat out of the bag. I don’t like being so secretive and it makes me feel like them wondering why I’m taking a backpack to the bathroom would be more detrimental than just coming clean.

I can always take the cat out of the bag, it’s just never easy to put it back in. So I plan on playing it by ear.

 

[dogboy]

Since you really like this job, I think I would just let it play out. You could talk to HR and since you are genuinely incontinent, it shouldn't be a problem. What you shouldn't do is obsess over this and you don't want it to affect how you perform your job. If you were my age, it wouldn't even be much of an issue as a lot of people my age have some continence problems.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Since you really like this job, I think I would just let it play out. You could talk to HR and since you are genuinely incontinent, it shouldn't be a problem. What you shouldn't do is obsess over this and you don't want it to affect how you perform your job. If you were my age, it wouldn't even be much of an issue as a lot of people my age have some continence problems.

I was thinking the same thing. But one thing my team craves is transparency. I sure they would get it and that got me thinking about my bladder problems. If they find out later, will that damage my credibility or my efforts to create transparency? In the flip side, maybe revealing something personal and somewhat embarrassing as proof to my efforts would be beneficial?!? I don’t know.

I only have to change once per shift, and I’m not stressed out to the point that it’s affecting my work. Getting used to dress pants and tucked in shirts worried me for the first week, but now I barely think about it.

 

[JonahAteAWhale]

I’m so excited about my new job. I start next week and this will be my first office job. That being said, I’m trying to figure out if I want to tell HR about my incontinence or if I should keep it private.

Until I start, I’m not going to be able to figure out the logistics for changing. But I’m not looking forward to taking a backpack into the bathroom at a new job.

Does anyone have any pointers?

My advice is to make your incontinence known. I do not know the laws in your country but in my country employers have to make reasonable adjustments for disabilities, so it is worth informing them. Congratulations on the new job!

 

[guest]

not at work now , but a few jobs i had before, warehouses
did have their own locker rooms with showers in some washrooms, plants, ect , lastly car dealership, in the break room up the hallway was a one person washroom with washer dryer! oddly, and had its own locker room with showers ,
not something i ever used but thinking back on it that could of been a fairly not bad idea or place to do changes or so forth ,

 

[BabyHailey1977]

So here is an update. I absolutely love my job. The people are amazing and it’s like a family.

I started out by taking backpack with me at lunch to change but then I noticed that’s when the bathroom was busiest. So I started waiting until after lunch to change. Then I started to just cart the diaper rolled up in my hand and that’s what I still do.

We do not have a single use bathroom, so it gets a little stressful sometimes.

On Monday I had an appointment with my new primary care physician and she challenged be to be more open at work. So I went and talked to a couple fellow managers, and they were very receptive. They assured me that no one will care, just do my thing. So far so good.

 

[Traveler]

So here is an update. I absolutely love my job. The people are amazing and it’s like a family.

I started out by taking backpack with me at lunch to change but then I noticed that’s when the bathroom was busiest. So I started waiting until after lunch to change. Then I started to just cart the diaper rolled up in my hand and that’s what I still do.

We do not have a single use bathroom, so it gets a little stressful sometimes.

On Monday I had an appointment with my new primary care physician and she challenged be to be more open at work. So I went and talked to a couple fellow managers, and they were very receptive. They assured me that no one will care, just do my thing. So far so good.

This is awesome news! I’m glad your managers are good people who understand. Also I’m no lawyer but I’m 99% sure if you have a medical diagnosis, and anyone says even a snicker or a joke, the Americans with disabilities act will come down on them like a sledgehammer. I looked into it years ago due to my paruresis, which I never had documented due to my job type but as soon as I’m back in the private sector I plan to tell my doctor immediately because things like bathroom breaks are required to be worked into your schedule. The reason I even looked it up in the first place is my career fields require random drug testing and in some instances employers make it a monitored thing, but under the ADA paruresis is covered and employers are required to provide alternate means to test. I wish more folks were aware of what a powerful law it is.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

This is awesome news! I’m glad your managers are good people who understand. Also I’m no lawyer but I’m 99% sure if you have a medical diagnosis, and anyone says even a snicker or a joke, the Americans with disabilities act will come down on them like a sledgehammer. I looked into it years ago due to my paruresis, which I never had documented due to my job type but as soon as I’m back in the private sector I plan to tell my doctor immediately because things like bathroom breaks are required to be worked into your schedule. The reason I even looked it up in the first place is my career fields require random drug testing and in some instances employers make it a monitored thing, but under the ADA paruresis is covered and employers are required to provide alternate means to test. I wish more folks were aware of what a powerful law it is.

We talked about that as well and said we don’t have randoms. So far so good

 

[Angelapinks]

I’m trans only in mind not presentation. I’ll have to see how it plays out when I start. Should be able to change at lunch though.

If you are wet I would for sure change at noon. You don't want anyone saying "the new guy smells funny" and a wet diaper does have an odor even under plastic pants.

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

Make sure you wear just medical diapers just in case. The NS colored diapers are great for hiding the top of a diaper if it shows, it looks like underwear. The cute ABDL designs are a giveaway that you don’t want.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

If you are wet I would for sure change at noon. You don't want anyone saying "the new guy smells funny" and a wet diaper does have an odor even under plastic pants.

My building has three floors with a bathroom on each. I’d need be, I’ll go to a different floor. But you are absolutely correct, I don’t want to stink up the place lol.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Make sure you wear just medical diapers just in case. The NS colored diapers are great for hiding the top of a diaper if it shows, it looks like underwear. The cute ABDL designs are a giveaway that you don’t want.

I agree. I only wear the Seni Quatro to work. I don’t have any ABDL diapers.

 

[Angelapinks]

I agree. I only wear the Seni Quatro to work. I don’t have any ABDL diapers.

Good Luck in your new position and hope you enjoy your work environment.

 

[Dry247]

When u do Drug screen let them know so they can tell your work for you. So it's listed so they know so they can't Held accountable for you for Incontinent they will work with u

I did a drug test for work, no one knows you have one on