new here - just asking

[safaridaze]

I have read this board for a few years and never created an account. It is nice to know I am not alone. I am far more DL than AB, but I have been CHOOSING to wear more often, and I find myself drawn to more and more AB ideas. It scares me as decades ago, I was too nervous to even buy diapers. then that got easy. years ago I would not dream of going out in them, then that got easy. now, I start thinking of AB things and I get scared. Is my BR going to get a crib in another decade..lol

I am honestly still very embarrassed with myself. I still go thru buy and purge cycles. But as I type, I am sitting in my favorite diaper that I put on 16 hours ago, and am delaying taking it off and showering as I know it will be another few days until it is private enough to wear again.

So do other DL's find that they have moved more toward AB as they played and experimented? Like my first diapers were always plain white. Now I love the prints., and other AB thoughts come flooding in my head, but I push them away usually.

I am divorced 8 years and now with the same girl for 5 years. We are very good together and very open with each other. I told her about it, we even tried to use them in a D/S experiment a few times. but they are not her thing and so now I only do it in private ..... again.

 

[ianwee]

Welcome Safaridaze. It's never too late to join this community, and I'm glad yo decided to 'take the plunge' after 2 years. Welcome!

 

[Tenawearer]

warm welcome from the Netherlands.

 

[Khaymen]

I have read this board for a few years and never created an account. It is nice to know I am not alone. I am far more DL than AB, but I have been CHOOSING to wear more often, and I find myself drawn to more and more AB ideas. It scares me as decades ago, I was too nervous to even buy diapers. then that got easy. years ago I would not dream of going out in them, then that got easy. now, I start thinking of AB things and I get scared. Is my BR going to get a crib in another decade..lol

I am honestly still very embarrassed with myself. I still go thru buy and purge cycles. But as I type, I am sitting in my favorite diaper that I put on 16 hours ago, and am delaying taking it off and showering as I know it will be another few days until it is private enough to wear again.

So do other DL's find that they have moved more toward AB as they played and experimented? Like my first diapers were always plain white. Now I love the prints., and other AB thoughts come flooding in my head, but I push them away usually.

I am divorced 8 years and now with the same girl for 5 years. We are very good together and very open with each other. I told her about it, we even tried to use them in a D/S experiment a few times. but they are not her thing and so now I only do it in private ..... again.

Why does it have to be private? If she knows you wear them and has been involved in the past it seems to reason that she wouldn't mind you wearing around the house. My wife isn't involved in my putting on a diaper any more than me putting on my shoes and even though she raised an eyebrow at the number of diapers I packed for our cruise I never felt the need to hide packing, wearing, or changing them.

Even though you have difficulty accepting this part of yourself, I'm guessing it is not an issue for her. A quick conversation could be the catalyst that helps you normalize and accept diapers. I'm intentionally not addressing the AB question because I feel this will help more in the short term and going forward as well.

 

[safaridaze]

Why does it have to be private? If she knows you wear them and has been involved in the past it seems to reason that she wouldn't mind you wearing around the house. My wife isn't involved in my putting on a diaper any more than me putting on my shoes and even though she raised an eyebrow at the number of diapers I packed for our cruise I never felt the need to hide packing, wearing, or changing them.

Even though you have difficulty accepting this part of yourself, I'm guessing it is not an issue for her. A quick conversation could be the catalyst that helps you normalize and accept diapers. I'm intentionally not addressing the AB question because I feel this will help more in the short term and going forward as well.

Thanks and a great question for me to ponder. In my life, I am a typical fishing, hunting, Alpha guy. But secretly I am quite sensitive and insecure. So I guess to answer, I feel like she rejected them when I did try to use them in our relationship, so my insecurities makes it feel safer to just leave it private for now. It has been a battle I have been fighting my entire life. It is just much stronger recently as I have been wearing more.

 

[ABDLENG]

I always thought I was just a DL and not much of an AB. However in April my wife found my stash and I opened up to her about this side of me. At the time, while I wore them from time to time and enjoyed it, I felt I was more into the caregiver role. After she tried wearing them for me I discovered that it didn’t really do much for me. Through experiment and play me and the wife have discovered that what we both like is for her to be the dominant one and for me to be her good boy.

She doesn’t like removing the nappy but is happy to check me and tell me to change. This morning was the first time she really played with me through the diaper and my god what a feeling. Also one of the things I love doing the most is “breast feeding”. I discovered quite accidentally but it somehow manages to sooth me and turn me on all at once. Now quite often she will just “feed me” while watching telly.

If someone would have told me when she first discovered my stuff that I would be wearing nearly 24/7 and being a good boy for my wife I wouldn’t have believed them!

 

[safaridaze]

I always thought I was just a DL and not much of an AB. However in April my wife found my stash and I opened up to her about this side of me. At the time, while I wore them from time to time and enjoyed it, I felt I was more into the caregiver role. After she tried wearing them for me I discovered that it didn’t really do much for me. Through experiment and play me and the wife have discovered that what we both like is for her to be the dominant one and for me to be her good boy.

She doesn’t like removing the nappy but is happy to check me and tell me to change. This morning was the first time she really played with me through the diaper and my god what a feeling. Also one of the things I love doing the most is “breast feeding”. I discovered quite accidentally but it somehow manages to sooth me and turn me on all at once. Now quite often she will just “feed me” while watching telly.

If someone would have told me when she first discovered my stuff that I would be wearing nearly 24/7 and being a good boy for my wife I wouldn’t have believed them!

Thanks. That would be so awesome. I wonder if I should leave some out! lol.... I also love to "Feed" but it sends me to my little headspace. and I keep thinking it is something to hide. so I don't do it too often. I know she likes when I do it, but I will routinely fight the urge as I know it will push me deeper into my cravings to be little. She held my head and rubbed it once, pulled me in tight, and said "thats a good boy"... my heart almost melted. I literally almost lost it. It felt so good. It was like a warm blanket was wrapped over my body.

 

[ABDLENG]

Thanks. That would be so awesome. I wonder if I should leave some out! lol.... I also love to "Feed" but it sends me to my little headspace. and I keep thinking it is something to hide. so I don't do it too often. I know she likes when I do it, but I will routinely fight the urge as I know it will push me deeper into my cravings to be little. She held my head and rubbed it once, pulled me in tight, and said "thats a good boy"... my heart almost melted. I literally almost lost it. It felt so good. It was like a warm blanket was wrapped over my body.

If I’m being honest her finding them probably saved our marriage. I have always loved my wife dearly but our sex life was terrible. Neither of us we’re getting anything out of it.

My advice to anyone now is open up to your partner about your desires and have the courage to do so. It’s freighting and I really thought I was going to lose my wife the night we had the chat. I thought who could love someone who likes what we like.

Once the dialogue has been opened it needs to be maintained and kept open. It was only recently that we discussed her being the more dominant one after she opened up about a scenario she was playing out on her head. Turns out it could easily lead into what I’ve been playing out recently. She’s given me the confidence to explore more and I’ve discovered so much more about myself.

Have the chat and remember it doesn’t define you.

 

[Khaymen]

Thanks and a great question for me to ponder. In my life, I am a typical fishing, hunting, Alpha guy.

Dude, I'm a three-piece Patch wearing, Club Inked, Biker for life. I may have walked some of the same roads you are wandering.
If you don't have anyone close that you can talk to about this I'm here and we'll figure out the when and how we chat

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Followed a similar path. Started as DL while I was still a child so the connection to being little wasn't really a factor. As I got older and the cute sheepish blushy baby diapers and pull-ups eventually stopped fitting and I moved on to adult sizes everything became so sterile and institutional and boring after a while.

As spontaneously as the initial attraction to diapers was as a child, I developed a strong and sudden want of footed pajamas and a pacifer in my late teens. It was as if I needed childish accessories to convince my brain that the diapers were legit and make it feel childish again in some way.

Turns out there was always this underlying need to be childish. I'm not so much AB as "AK" but that side of me has exploded to the point that I wear childish clothes in public and sleep in a childish bed with stuffed animals 24/7 even when not in the mood for diapers. My "AB" side in recent years is much stronger than my DL side. My DL side is something I indulge in privately periodically but my AB or rather AK side has essentially become my whole full time self inside and out. How I style my hair, the LEGO shoes I wear, the primary color block shirts I wear with Nintendo and cartoon prints, and even the way I shamelessly toss gold fish crackers and dino nuggies in my cart at the grocery store. I can't imagine life anymore other than as a forever child.

 

[Belarin]

Welcome from the SW UK.

Glad you joined us, this is the best place around to find support and advice for this lifestyle.

I'm was in a similar position many years ago always believing I was just DL with no interest in AB stuff, over time I found myself more interested in seeing AB things alongside DL and that grew until one day I found myself searching for AB gear, bottles, paci's, clothing, toys etc.

Decided at that point to give up fighting it and just explore, I had long since fully accepted that diapers were a part of my life and always would be so why not have some fun and play around with other things. I spent a few years playing with the idea of little space, meeting AB's, going to events etc. Exploring and experimenting with many aspects of it until I reached a point were I kinda just knew it wasn't really getting me, at least not in the way many others describe it.

Don't get me wrong I definitely have a little side and can be very playful with it at times, but it comes out rarely and only really when I'm around a specific kind of person/people who can bring it out. I am now back to being basically just a DL with very strong pull towards CG role and occasional bouts of littleness, though I do have and use a bottle/sippy cup at times still, not to feel little but just because I like them.

The way I see it, as long as you keep it private and not including anyone who isn't specifically interested it won't do you any harm to explore the little side and may even open up some interesting new ideas/pathways/options/views/interests/acceptance etc. for you even if it is only short lived.

 

[safaridaze]

Followed a similar path. Started as DL while I was still a child so the connection to being little wasn't really a factor. As I got older and the cute sheepish blushy baby diapers and pull-ups eventually stopped fitting and I moved on to adult sizes everything became so sterile and institutional and boring after a while.

As spontaneously as the initial attraction to diapers was as a child, I developed a strong and sudden want of footed pajamas and a pacifer in my late teens. It was as if I needed childish accessories to convince my brain that the diapers were legit and make it feel childish again in some way.

Turns out there was always this underlying need to be childish. I'm not so much AB as "AK" but that side of me has exploded to the point that I wear childish clothes in public and sleep in a childish bed with stuffed animals 24/7 even when not in the mood for diapers. My "AB" side in recent years is much stronger than my DL side. My DL side is something I indulge in privately periodically but my AB or rather AK side has essentially become my whole full time self inside and out. How I style my hair, the LEGO shoes I wear, the primary color block shirts I wear with Nintendo and cartoon prints, and even the way I shamelessly toss gold fish crackers and dino nuggies in my cart at the grocery store. I can't imagine life anymore other than as a forever child.

Thanks for the reply. I actually had no idea the ABDL community had so many subdivisions (AB/DL/ and also AK's). But I defiantly feel more like an AK inside. I like a diaper, would love to be put to bed, would not mind being led thru a dangerous parking lot by hand, recently though about a passy to help me fall asleep. but crawling, high chairs, being fed... those do not do much for me. Guess I feel like a bed wetting 3-5 YO boy.

 

[safaridaze]

If I’m being honest her finding them probably saved our marriage. I have always loved my wife dearly but our sex life was terrible. Neither of us we’re getting anything out of it.

My advice to anyone now is open up to your partner about your desires and have the courage to do so. It’s freighting and I really thought I was going to lose my wife the night we had the chat. I thought who could love someone who likes what we like.

Once the dialogue has been opened it needs to be maintained and kept open. It was only recently that we discussed her being the more dominant one after she opened up about a scenario she was playing out on her head. Turns out it could easily lead into what I’ve been playing out recently. She’s given me the confidence to explore more and I’ve discovered so much more about myself.

Have the chat and remember it doesn’t define you.

I do not have the green light to PM... but would love to know how you went about "having the conversation" I would love my girl to be the dominant one, for me to be her good boy, and have her check me and tell me to change. I just not have mustered up the courage to have that dialog. I fear the what if it goes horribly wrong outcome.

 

[ABDLENG]

I do not have the green light to PM... but would love to know how you went about "having the conversation" I would love my girl to be the dominant one, for me to be her good boy, and have her check me and tell me to change. I just not have mustered up the courage to have that dialog. I fear the what if it goes horribly wrong outcome.

Honestly it’s taken a long time to get to this point and I don’t think I ever would have if she hadn’t found them. I was petrified having the conversation and feared my life as I knew it was over. However she sat there, listened to what I had to say and just said OK. She wanted to take an interest and that night we both put a nappy on. Since then it’s been a lot of experimenting and discovery together.

One night I just said to her I want to be her good boy and it’s just developed from there. I am lucky in that she will try everything once. After trying something for the first time it’s important to debrief. I always fantasised about putting my wife in a nappy and changing her wet nappy. The reality of it though was no where near as exciting as I thought. We talked about it after and decided as neither of us get anything out of it not to do it again. It lead to a bit of me just wearing when I could and not really involving her. She told me she wanted me to be more comfortable wearing around her and it’s spiralled out from there.