Need Advice For Coming To Terms With Medical Incontinence

[animatronic]

Hello!!

I am very nervous to post here. But I want to feel less alone. I've had issues with medical incontinence for a few years now. I've been in denial about it till it reached a peak today: I can't control my bladder anymore. I got up to use the restroom, and lost control. I'm now sitting on a towel because it just comes out freely. The only thing I can compare it to is when I had a catheter after surgery. There was just no control over what happened.

I have seen a doctor for my issue. However being on medicare and medicaid, it's hard to get direct help. While no one looked into the issue directly, I was told it is most likely due to my many psychiatric medications (I have schizoaffective and am mentally disabled).

While I'm here, I'd like to ask for some help on something else:

I am a little, and have identified as one for a few years now. As much as I love regressing, I find it very difficult. Regression is a way to cope with child abuse for me. But I still live in the same house it all happened. And my room reminds me a lot of that time of my life, especially when I'm feeling little. Do any of you also struggle with this? I have a close friend who is also little, and has mailed me a lot of toys. I have them all over my room, it helps a lot and makes me happy. Though I'm not sure how to explain it to my Dad (I'm not worried though, he's very kind and is very supportive of me. Though him being 64 I'm not sure how to broach the topic to him...)

To bridge the two issues a little into a third "issue", I'm not sure how to feel about this with my girlfriend. I rely on her a lot for emotional support, and immediately told her about my incontinence when it happened. She finds it and the idea of me wearing diapers attractive. It's been a fantasy in the back of my mind, but fantasy can be a far way from reality. Now that this is becoming very real, I'm not sure how to feel. I don't really know how to start this discussion with her. I have no issue broaching the subject, I'm just not sure how to word it. If you couldn't tell by how I write, I'm very particular with my words. I don't know how to "word" any of what I am going through. Because I don't really understand my feelings.

Apologies for the length of this. But thank you if you read this far. I am glad to have screamed into the void, and the idea of the void screaming back with advice gives me hope. Thank you again for everyone's time, have a great day!!

 

[nsluna]

Since you are not lying, everyone will naturally accept the situation and you will have to use diapers in your daily life. It's the same for me, and I don't know if it'll help, but I think it's better to be honest with everyone because I think it's better to let everyone know what your illness is and how it didn't work out.
I am sorry if you felt uncomfortable about the part I wrote with a translator because I am not good at English But I hope you cheer up!

 

[animatronic]

Since you are not lying, everyone will naturally accept the situation and you will have to use diapers in your daily life. It's the same for me, and I don't know if it'll help, but I think it's better to be honest with everyone because I think it's better to let everyone know what your illness is and how it didn't work out.
I am sorry if you felt uncomfortable about the part I wrote with a translator because I am not good at English But I hope you cheer up!

You did wonderful!! Thank you very much!! I did not feel uncomfortable by anything you said, don't worry!! It helps a lot to hear people are going through the same thing, and it's really awesome that you are so confident about your diapers!! I hope to get there one day too, and I'll try to live up to your example!!

 

[nsluna]

You did wonderful!! Thank you very much!! I did not feel uncomfortable by anything you said, don't worry!! It helps a lot to hear people are going through the same thing, and it's really awesome that you are so confident about your diapers!! I hope to get there one day too, and I'll try to live up to your example!!

Oh! Thank you so much for thinking that way! It may be inconvenient to use diapers every hour of the day! I've been through the same thing and I know there are many advantages! So I hope you enjoy your comfortable life, too!

 

[Reward]

Hi, don't be nervous about sharing this here, it takes some courage to put yourself out there.. this is a good place to talk about it.
Sitting on a towel without protection?
Dad is supportive overall but doesn't know you leak?
GF and you have discussed your wearing a diaper, she says 'cute' and she's enthusiastic to help?

I'd start by getting some diapers today -if you don't have any- and plan to arrange your room a little to help with changing and organizing some needed supplies.
I'm sure you know the basic stuff you need but don't overlook some bags for disposal until you get a pail
I'm sure GF will want to help at some point.
Coping/regression can follow but there's no rush to drop that on dad rn
Eventually you can ask your urologist for a prescription for what you need, guidelines will vary from State to State.

Your feelings and acceptance around this will come in time, through reading, education and conversations.
In short, own it. I'll bet Dad and GF will jump in, in their own way, to help sooner or later!

 

[animatronic]

Hi, don't be nervous about sharing this here, it takes some courage to put yourself out there.. this is a good place to talk about it.
Sitting on a towel without protection?
Dad is supportive overall but doesn't know you leak?
GF and you have discussed your wearing a diaper, she says 'cute' and she's enthusiastic to help?

I'd start by getting some diapers today -if you don't have any- and plan to arrange your room a little to help with changing and organizing some needed supplies.
I'm sure you know the basic stuff you need but don't overlook some bags for disposal until you get a pail
I'm sure GF will want to help at some point.
Coping/regression can follow but there's no rush to drop that on dad rn
Eventually you can ask your urologist for a prescription for what you need, guidelines will vary from State to State.

Your feelings and acceptance around this will come in time, through reading, education and conversations.
In short, own it. I'll bet Dad and GF will jump in, in their own way, to help sooner or later!

Thank you!! It means a lot!!

Dad knows about the incontinence, but doesn't know about the little stuff. Though I don't really try to hide it, I also haven't explained it.
My girlfriend is sexually attracted to diapers and incontinence, which I'm fine with. But seeing as it's a medical issue I'm embarrassed about, I do have some weird conflicting feelings about it.

I'm trying to work up the courage to buy diapers as I type this. I don't know at all what I need to do or get I'm afraid. Would you happen to know a guide?
My doctor never really explained or looked into my incontinence. She said it was probably due to my medications, and left it at that. So I'm very much in the dark on what to do.
My girlfriend does want to help! I'm just not sure how to feel about her arousal towards it yet.

Thank you so much!! I'm slowly trying to learn how to feel confident in myself, especially towards things that aren't the most socially acceptable. Thank you so much for your help!!

 

[Reward]

Sure, first of all I understand self acceptance of your evolving situation is easier said than done.
I'm sure the gf will understand that you're still processing.
Btw, does this suspected triggering medicine help you otherwise?

The Dr isn't a urologist I guess? So you need to ask for a referral to one from her.
Doctors don't know anything about diapers really - so don't bother with that.
I would just ask them health related questions and if this is a lasting problem you can ask for a script to manage things.

There's no real world diaper guide that I'm aware of other than trial and error- and the collective wisdom of places like this.
I'd start with some inexpensive refastenable ones from Walgreens or similar and see what that's like as a baseline.
They'll say Certanty on the bag, get S/M unless you're really big.

You don't know how to feel about GF's help and attraction for you? Just tell her whatever your feeling and be honest.
You might ask her to shop with you, even some XL Goodnites from a grocery store would be better than nothing at this point.
If you can muster some confidence I bet everyone around you will feel good about helping you get back on track.
Online diaper ordering is simple but can be expensive so I'd start at the bottom and work up to what's effective enough.

 

[SeniorMan]

[Incontinence] is most likely due to my many psychiatric medications (I have schizo-affective and am mentally disabled).

You are correct. See ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4730936/. Although about schizophrenia and Invega Sustenna (injectable), this article applies to other anti-psychotics as well. The information you get should help you accept your urinary incontinence.

 

[Rob110]

Remember you are not alone in dealing with IC issues and the need to wear diapers 24/7 when My IC issue first started and I had to switch to taped diapers I decided to tell all my close Family and Friends of my medical issue and it made it easier to deal with it as I did not have to hide the fact I needed diaper. Every one understood and it was a non issue, over the last 9 years more people have found out and its a non issue.

The trial an error for finding the perfect diaper that works best for you is the hardest part some times my recommendation is to try Betterdry diapers as they work the best for me and I can get though most of the work day with out needing a change unless Im having a really bad day IC wise. They are more expensive then Retail brand diapers but you need less of them so the cost becomes a better option but the main thing is they keep your pants dry and you can trust them to do their job.

The more you wear the quicker you will realize no one for the most part will notice your wearing and if they do don’t stress it just say its a medical issue and move on. Hope you can accept you need to wear and you find the protection that works best for you

 

[SeniorMan]

Don't be nervous about sharing this here, it takes some courage to put yourself out there.

For many months after I joined ADISC, I disguised my posts so as not to disclose that I live in a nursing home for fear I would receive bad reactions. However I saw how others were receiving wonderful support. I am no longer frightened in sharing my most intimate feelings. For this, I am grateful.

 

[PaddedRita]

Please don't feel alone !! There are many like you and myself here with the same issues !Always make the best of it as much as you can, plus have a very positive attitude! Please don't let it get you down life is to short !!