Most of the time incontinent and just using diapers

[MoonTheProtogen]

I wear diapers pretty often but most of the time I wear Pull-Ups. My mom said she would think about getting diapers. I rarely have no diaper/Pull-Up on.

 

[winterheart01]

Did they only do surgery on the internal sphincter and bladder neck? I have no idea why the external one can’t hold it all but it can’t for either of us.

technically the internal sphincter is the bladder neck, in my case everything (internal and external) had to be removed due to nerve issues from previous surgeries, scar tissue buildup, chronic bacterial infection all resulting in OAB and detrusor sphincter dyssynergia.

What I can tell you is this: Ever since I had my first TURP (removal of 80% of prostate and part of the bladder neck as well) my external sphincter had a lot more trouble and became extra sensitive, this caused overstimulation in my case, also because they hit a nerve there, but I did had to go very frequently ever since, it got worse over the years.
In your case I think your exterrnal sphinter can't handle the extra pressure / sensory overload that the internal sphincter is supposed to suppress normally until you really should go and contrary to mine, is weaker and lets go while mine was too strong and clamped so tight not even a probe could get through.
It is normal that not every sphincter is the same, but it could also be related to your pelvic muscles.
If you have time and money to spare you could go seek out a physiotherapist that specializes on pelvic muscle training (unless you already did this). But the side effect is that the increased urges won't go away, or maybe after a very long time but it'll be a difficult trial.
I preferred being "unchained" from this burden, as like you said now I leak in very small amounts, barely feel it and no longer have leaks etc.

 

[NappiedTruckDriver]

I’m just starting down that rocky road with 24/7 diapers(4months now) due to the same issues , in the morning I want to pee every half hour or so , ok if I was at home or a normal job but I’m a truck driver so trying to hold any more than an hour is vey uncomfortable .
As for number 2’s I will use my diaper as most times its already wet any way

 

[mechanicX]

None still in denial

 

[Angelapinks]

I get it about not beating myself up. It's almost a convenience sometimes just to use the diaper instead of running to the bathroom every 30 minutes. Hence, I think I'm coming to the conclusion to just avoid using the restroom and just use the diapers. It stinks to have to go find a bathroom wherever I go so I've just stopped worrying about it and use the diapers now. I just worry there is no turning back at this point and it is what it is. I feel like I've tried everything medically and just given up on trying more. Half the meds had terrible side effects and I can tolerate the incontinence more than the medications.

I m finally learning to not beat myself up about it also but it is hard to do sometimes. Since having these problems my carefree life has changed to trying to schedule trips around wearing protection and finding bathrooms on the trips I take sometimes. I am also not in a big hurry to plan overnight stays in hotels for the same reason or flying and dealing with airports. Errands are bad enough in dealing with wetting accidents and long day trips have resulted in some minor mishaps so far until I find the right style underwear for the trip. Went out today searching for something in particular and ended up in another town an hour from home. Finding clean and acessable bathrooms was a bit trickey but worked out OK.

 

[Angelapinks]

I think part of the guilt comes from the belief that we need to not use a diaper at all costs. I have the same war in my head as the OP. While I can live day by day without a diaper, the consequence of not wearing one is having to be within range of a restroom at all times. The challenge comes from those occasional situations where a restroom is not nearby and the urge hits and one is forced to do everything in their power to hold it and fight the pain.

I think if Doctors were promoting diapers as a reasonable management tool for those in our situation, perhaps we wouldn't feel so guilty. However, they want to shove pills upon pills in a failed attempt to solve it. Meanwhile some of us are on pills that are linked to causing excess urine production.

I think stigma is the root of the problem, that using a diaper volentaraly as a management tool instead of only in cases where involentary leakage happens would calm our nerves.

My doctor has maintained that I drink too much tea and for the most part he would be right back in the day when this first happened but after two years of cutting back and watching when and how much I need to pee, I don't think that applies much now. I have cut back to having maybe 1/4 as much as I did during the last several years from morning to night. I try to drink way more water than I ever did before and have cut down to one coffee a day in the afternoon. He seemed impressed with that but never said much more and said things would not change for the better as I age but could get worse.

 

[Diaperman95]

First of all I am sorry you are having to go through this. As someone with severe Interstitial cystitis and urge incontinence I understand completely what you are going through. When mine is flared at is worse I can go as much as every ten mins. I can tell you from 25 plus years of this life that your control will diminish a lot faster if you give in and do not try to hold it. I look at it like this. If you are already having a hard time holding it than it most likely is going to get worse anyway. When I really gave in and went full time throwing away underwear was because I drove a truck and could not make no money in a truck stop bathroom. I have almost zero control now and I also have zero regrets. Not only was running for the restroom exhausting as hell but it was painful as hell to. The sooner I pee the faster the urge and pain go away. To be honest it is something only you can answer for yourself. Some people hate the idea of having to use diapers or find the a harder life style to manage. But the fact remained for me even if I did not get to a restroom with in 5 or 10 min it was coming out anyway so not wearing was not a option. So I decided to embrace my diaper and use it to gain a better life. Of course in the 90's diapers sucked bad compared to todays. Changing as many as 8 times in a day was not un normal and even in the middle of the night I had to change. Changing in public restrooms can be a challenge also. Then the extended capacity diapers started coming out and the number of changes went down. This made life so much easier than ever before. But there are lots of things to consider and cost is among the biggest for me. I spend from $170 to $220 a month on products. Then you have the stigma. I can't tell you how many I have times heard others say they would rather die than wear diapers. But the truth is they would put them on just like me or you. What are they going to do let piss run down the leg? Then you should really make sure you explore other medical options as well especially if you find any of those negative things a concern. Incontinence is a symptom of other disorders. Some can be fixed with exercise and some with a simple surgery or medication. Sometimes a change in diet will make the difference too. I suggest you make a list of pro's and cons and just do what makes since to you. For me diapers give me back a quality of life I will never have without them. I think you have got a lot of good advise on tis group and you are so lucky to have these issues in a time that we have great resources like ADISC members and quality products.. What ever you decide just make sure you are doing it for yourself and not worried what others think. You deserve to be happy. If I can help with anything please let me know.

 

[Angelapinks]

First of all I am sorry you are having to go through this. As someone with severe Interstitial cystitis and urge incontinence I understand completely what you are going through. When mine is flared at is worse I can go as much as every ten mins. I can tell you from 25 plus years of this life that your control will diminish a lot faster if you give in and do not try to hold it. I look at it like this. If you are already having a hard time holding it than it most likely is going to get worse anyway. When I really gave in and went full time throwing away underwear was because I drove a truck and could not make no money in a truck stop bathroom. I have almost zero control now and I also have zero regrets. Not only was running for the restroom exhausting as hell but it was painful as hell to. The sooner I pee the faster the urge and pain go away. To be honest it is something only you can answer for yourself. Some people hate the idea of having to use diapers or find the a harder life style to manage. But the fact remained for me even if I did not get to a restroom with in 5 or 10 min it was coming out anyway so not wearing was not a option. So I decided to embrace my diaper and use it to gain a better life. Of course in the 90's diapers sucked bad compared to todays. Changing as many as 8 times in a day was not un normal and even in the middle of the night I had to change. Changing in public restrooms can be a challenge also. Then the extended capacity diapers started coming out and the number of changes went down. This made life so much easier than ever before. But there are lots of things to consider and cost is among the biggest for me. I spend from $170 to $220 a month on products. Then you have the stigma. I can't tell you how many I have times heard others say they would rather die than wear diapers. But the truth is they would put them on just like me or you. What are they going to do let piss run down the leg? Then you should really make sure you explore other medical options as well especially if you find any of those negative things a concern. Incontinence is a symptom of other disorders. Some can be fixed with exercise and some with a simple surgery or medication. Sometimes a change in diet will make the difference too. I suggest you make a list of pro's and cons and just do what makes since to you. For me diapers give me back a quality of life I will never have without them. I think you have got a lot of good advise on tis group and you are so lucky to have these issues in a time that we have great resources like ADISC members and quality products.. What ever you decide just make sure you are doing it for yourself and not worried what others think. You deserve to be happy. If I can help with anything please let me know.

Thanks for your reply and in your situation I would certainly do what you do and now I suppose I do also. It appears that my back injury and surgeries have a hand in my condition so the doctor is right it is not going to get better and neither will my back. I don't mind so much having to wear protection but need to plan for longer outings. During the pandemic it did not happen but now things are slowing down I hope to be able to do longer day trips and plan for changes and using some public bathrooms. I found a website called the Powder Room that logs clean, easy access bathrooms and there is also a boys room site too but I can't remember what it is called. Personally I like Starbucks bathrooms best so far as they are private and clean and I can get a good cup of my favourite coffee and blueberry muffin there as well.

 

[Diaperman95]

I hear a lot of people say they like Starbucks restrooms. I do not let the stigma of other people bother me near as bad in public restrooms any more. I mean I still do not want all my friends and family to know so I am more careful around them or in my small town but if people find out I am not going to loose sleep. But a few months ago I was at the train station in Fort Worth, the train just un loaded and so did a grey hound so several people was inline for the restroom. I got the urge to poop as getting off the train and did not make it in time. I just waited in line and went in a stall and did my thing. Several people pulled on my door and I would just say occupied. When done I came walking out with a dirty mega Max and a chux pad and wipes all rolled up in a big ball and no trash by the stool. Two people was waiting inline and kind of blocking the trash I just said excuse me and they stepped apart and I stepped right between them I threw my diaper away and went and washed up. No one said anything. I came to the conclusion the only person that use to care was me. Most people are not even going to say a word. That and the people that really know me, they know I have a lot of health issues so to be honest if I have to tell them I will and I doubt they would treat me different. But most the time with mega Max I do not need to change but 2 times a day or 3 max. Unless I have the shits real bad. But I do not work due to health reasons so the bowling alley is the only public place I hang out at. Lucky for me they have two sets of rest rooms and the ones in the game room are private so that is where I change if I need too. But most the time I change before I go. But private restrooms do make it much easier. I like to hear your replies too. You seam like you deal with it pretty good as well. I like to share with people. If my experience will help someone else it makes me feel good and like to fee I have not gone though all this for nothing. I love how this community tries to help each other.

 

[daylight]

@Diaperman95 ,

Use of a restroom with multiple stalls is okay if you are in a place you are not known. On travel…It is, for me, very different in situations like work, amongst friends, or others that don’t need to know.

The water cooler is ripe with gossip and sniping. There is no positive outcome to put a target or eyes on my butt.

 

[Angelapinks]

@Diaperman95 ,

Use of a restroom with multiple stalls is okay if you are in a place you are not known. On travel…It is, for me, very different in situations like work, amongst friends, or others that don’t need to know.

The water cooler is ripe with gossip and sniping. There is no positive outcome to put a target or eyes on my butt.

I understand what you mean and I was concerned at first also but I have spent all my life hiding the girl inside and wearing panties for me was a way to hide but let her out at the same time. I spent a lot of time worrying about visible pantie lines when going about my day to day routine at work. I was a supervisor and interacted with as many as 20 to 30 people a day so after awhile I just had to let it go and deal with it if anybody noticed or said anything. Sure had to be careful when bending over that my shirt did not ride up and reveal a pretty waistband. I worked 42 years at the same place and never knew if somebody saw anything but nobody said a word. It was the same when I started wearing a pull up diaper to do my errands or go to family functions or even shopping and to dinner with friends. If anybody noticed they did not say a word. One of my good friends had prostate cancer and from what I have read most usually end up in diapers due to lack of control but I have not seen any evidence he is wearing. he may be lucky but like me he ears his shirts out and hanging down on his butt like I do so it is not that obvious. Anyway those are just my thoughts on the situation.

 

[NotTheAverageMan]

I maintain a voiding schedule and wear diapers.

On good days I maintain a voiding schedule during waking hours; empty my bladder in the toilet every hour and a half. This helps maintains my bladder health, while reducing the amount of diapers required. I wear a diaper for incontinence issues between scheduled voiding times. This prevents possible bladder distention, and allows participation in the outside world.

Using a diaper will not make your incontinence worse. Keep a food and drink diary and see if you see a correlation between certain foods and/or drinks and your bladder flaring up. Maintain some sort of voiding schedule, especially on bad days. Knowing you are being pro-active means that the diaper is literally there to be able to function... use it as needed.

Same as i do, only my toilet schedule is every hour. my diaper is for safety when I’m not able to go to the toilet, then due to strong urges I have to resort to use my diaper, and then the unexpected accidents, which in my case comes out of the blue. Usually happens when I’m tensed up over something, then my bladder just releases with no warning or prior feeling of any need, it just gushes out.
running water, brushing my teeth guarantees I’m wetting.

 

[Diaperman95]

@Diaperman95 ,

Use of a restroom with multiple stalls is okay if you are in a place you are not known. On travel…It is, for me, very different in situations like work, amongst friends, or others that don’t need to know.

The water cooler is ripe with gossip and sniping. There is no positive outcome to put a target or eyes on my butt.

I understand that and totally agree. People that do not have to live in diapers just do not understand how mentally exhausting it can be. Like I stated I use the private restroom at my bowling alley even though the main restroom is much closer. I have lots of fiends there that do not know about my situation and I prefer to keep it that away. I mean I think I would be okay if I had to tell them but I prefer not too.. If you ever seen the Tv show cheers back in the day. I am like norm at the bowling alley. Every one knows me and talks to me and I am always there.

 

[Napincolove]

Being as I have now been in Nappies for over 25 years due to bladder urgency and other strange things going on I do find I have the condition where the urgent need to pee goes away and trying to pee will not work at all only to find the bowels will be becoming so urgent that even sitting down will not stop the expulsion of a BM which is then quickly followed by pee without any warning and after that everything resets, thankfully at the moment this only happens maybe 3 or 4 times a year but is very embarrassing when it does as I just have no control over it at all.

 

[Diaperman95]

Being as I have now been in Nappies for over 25 years due to bladder urgency and other strange things going on I do find I have the condition where the urgent need to pee goes away and trying to pee will not work at all only to find the bowels will be becoming so urgent that even sitting down will not stop the expulsion of a BM which is then quickly followed by pee without any warning and after that everything resets, thankfully at the moment this only happens maybe 3 or 4 times a year but is very embarrassing when it does as I just have no control over it at all.

People do not realize how connected the bladder and bowel are. Constipation can make both go of uncontrolled. A large amount of stuck solid poo will press on pelvic nerves and make loose poop over the top go right around and it affects bladder control too. I have been in diapers around 30 plus years but what you describe has been happening t me 3 to 4 times a week. I loaded mine at the hospital while the wife was getting a colonoscopy, then at breakfast eating out at one of my favorite places. I was just done eating and I had already had the smaller explosion at the hospital thankfully my booster caught all it so I just changed it and wiped up with a wet wipe. Then eating out I could just fill it coming out and pressing out between my bottom ad the chair I was in. I waited for it it kinda pass as trying to squeeze it off makes it worse most the time. It was not to bad yet so I grabbed my bag started to the bathroom and then as I walked it just turned loose. I could smell it so bad I wet straight by the restroom out the front door into the car and waited on the wife to cash me out. I am using a way lessor diaper than my normal mega max as a friend purchased me 2 cases of Abena. Someone I have made friends with on here that asked me if he could do me a good deed and send me a gift. He could tell I had a rough month and I tell you it was greatly appreciated. We have some wonderful people as members. Anyway so I am setting i it in the car and it just would not stop every few minutes a bit more no real urge just no control. As I made it through the front door the urge hit too. Omg without a doubt the worse mess I ever had. It was down my legs all over my pants I got them off and stood in the tub where I just finished pushing out all I could before I took the diaper down. I learned along time ago when you already have a mess to clean up and you are not done don't even try to change and hold it as it only makes for a bigger mess. So my wonderful wife helped me as she does often when bad. then around 5pm, we went and made up some bowling games we missed wed night not feeling good and afraid of shitting myself o I stayed home. Did pretty good averaged over 200 with 234 high for the 3 games. came home and I swear out a urge or nothing but as soon as I seen my house out it came. Of course not near as bad as I could not possible have nothing left. I do not wish this shit on anyone. Pun intended Lol... Mine started a few years ago a few times a month and it just got worse. Anyone that thinks it sounds fun need to realize it never happens at home sucking your thumb!! A lot of mine is gatroparesis and my bowel was stopping up and it would set my GP off not letting food exit my stomach and would get stupid sick. So now I take a small dose of miralax every day needed or not and linzess tablet because pooping beats the shit out of throwing up and dry heaving daily. I guess I have lived with GP close to 8 year now. If not for getting a gastric stimulator and and getting my bowels moving day. I would of ended myself. itwasthatbadlieor12weesayear in the .hospital bs What does not kills us makes us stronger so they say

 

[Bearcatz]

I am using a way lessor diaper than my normal mega max as a friend purchased me 2 cases of Abena.

WAY lesser??? Well, now them's fightin' words! Just kidding...

Yesterday I didn't have a lot of time for making my normal lunch, so I grabbed some cheese thinking that'd be perfectly safe. Turns out, it wasn't and with no warning everything made a mad dash for the "exit". That probably was the closest I think I've come to just flat out shitting myself, so I get what you mean.

 

[Diaperman95]

WAY lesser??? Well, now them's fightin' words! Just kidding...

Yesterday I didn't have a lot of time for making my normal lunch, so I grabbed some cheese thinking that'd be perfectly safe. Turns out, it wasn't and with no warning everything made a mad dash for the "exit". That probably was the closest I think I've come to just flat out shitting myself, so I get what you mean.

LOL I have always been the worse at words. I am dyslexic on top of it and I am fighting a keyboard that once had a glass of tea spelled in it. I normally proof read but here lately I have been lazy. Lol

You know I am not AB but if anyone ask about my spelling I am just going to tell them I am trying to capture my enter child.

Watch out for the milk products. They get me often.

 

[Davvyboy]

I get it about not beating myself up. It's almost a convenience sometimes just to use the diaper instead of running to the bathroom every 30 minutes. Hence, I think I'm coming to the conclusion to just avoid using the restroom and just use the diapers. It stinks to have to go find a bathroom wherever I go so I've just stopped worrying about it and use the diapers now. I just worry there is no turning back at this point and it is what it is. I feel like I've tried everything medically and just given up on trying more. Half the meds had terrible side effects and I can tolerate the incontinence more than the medications.

No side effects from nappies

 

[Bearcatz]

You know I am not AB but if anyone ask about my spelling I am just going to tell them I am trying to capture my enter child.

You're lucky I ... I mean... your secret admirer didn't send you Bambino's with the cute bunnies on them instead. They were a really great price too!

I soaked the hell out of a boosted one last night, and it still had room left over for 1 coffee's worth of wetting.

Funny story... last year I told my best friend a lot more about AB/DL and how hard it was for me to deal with. I also usually play a prank on him for his birthday... One year it was a fake box that said "Big A$$ Dildos" in giant letters and sent it with signature required, but last year's was more lame. I sent him a 2 pack of Bambino's with the bunny print all over and this song:

In response, I got a picture of his wife holding the diapers with a scornful look on her face. WHOOPS! Apparently she kept them, though LOL.

This year, I had him going that I was having the exact car he wanted delivered. I really had him going that a real car was getting delivered until the mail man dropped off an ebay package with a Hot Wheel's version of what he wanted instead.

 

[Diaperman95]

You're lucky I ... I mean... your secret admirer didn't send you Bambino's with the cute bunnies on them instead. They were a really great price too!

I soaked the hell out of a boosted one last night, and it still had room left over for 1 coffee's worth of wetting.

Funny story... last year I told my best friend a lot more about AB/DL and how hard it was for me to deal with. I also usually play a prank on him for his birthday... One year it was a fake box that said "Big A$$ Dildos" in giant letters and sent it with signature required, but last year's was more lame. I sent him a 2 pack of Bambino's with the bunny print all over and this song:

In response, I got a picture of his wife holding the diapers with a scornful look on her face. WHOOPS! Apparently she kept them, though LOL.

This year, I had him going that I was having the exact car he wanted delivered. I really had him going that a real car was getting delivered until the mail man dropped off an ebay package with a Hot Wheel's version of what he wanted instead.

Lol. My wife love buffy.

I have told this before but I gotten give a gag gift of adult pull ups once. But the joke on hem them because I used them. Lol