I've tried to deny myself

[StrawberryRaven]

My boyfriend doesn't understand ABDL at all and I love him so much that I just tried to forget this part of my brain. But in doing so I've allowed mysef to be comforted by drugs and alcohol. This was a lot cleaner and I want to go back to it. Like now. So I'm going to tell him today that this is the best comfort I can get without harming myself.

Do you find the whole lifestyle of ABDLness to be more coping than other things?

 

[MarcusWeeb]

Currently exploring this rabbit hole after denying it for years to keep me away from basically drinking myself to death. Its obviously the healthier option at least.

 

[Slomo]

It's not so much coping for us as it is satisfying a need for diapers. Deny that need and we often try and fill it with something else- such as drugs and alcohol like you found out.

Try to consider that abdl IS an integral part of youself. IF your boyfriend can't accept the full you, then he clearly does not love you as much as you love him. Trying to stay in a relationship lime that is just as bad as relying on drugs and alcohol. Try to find a way to make it work, but if you can't then don't try and stay with the wrong person. That will deny you finding someone even better.

 

[egor]

My boyfriend doesn't understand ABDL at all and I love him so much that I just tried to forget this part of my brain. But in doing so I've allowed mysef to be comforted by drugs and alcohol. This was a lot cleaner and I want to go back to it. Like now. So I'm going to tell him today that this is the best comfort I can get without harming myself.

Do you find the whole lifestyle of ABDLness to be more coping than other things?

Yes it is part coping mechanism. I do notice that when I am stressed the thoughts become stronger and I wind up using it as a coping mechanism.

The shame and suffering I put myself through denying it was for worse.

I would say communication and education should be what you need and if acceptance/tolerance is not forth coming then there is so decisions to be made, but communicate first and actively listen to each other.

Hope this helps and best wishes.

P.S. Nice to see you back

 

[Katie2fingers]

We ALL need to be little. With me whenever I'm little, my cerebral palsy just leaves, not that I DON'T want C.P, but the escape in incredible. I can go down to ten months and it's great. Just tell him, this is who I am, it's who I want to be.... Katie

 

[LilLynnWolf]

Deffinatly helps me cope. I tend to go through spurts of being more little than usual (I’m DDlg and always little to one point or other it’s a difference of degrees) when I’m overly stressed. This isn’t to say that I don’t get very little at other times but deffinatly when I’m stressed.

As for your boyfriend, if he can’t love you for who you are and if ABDL is a important part of that whole of who you are, then he can’t love you fully. Now I’m not saying just dump him, I would more hope that he can learn to accept all of you. If he can’t though then it might be time to consider parting ways.

 

[siysiy]

For me the short answer is yes.

I really do need to have time for little space.

Where I can regress and let me inerchild out to play.

Perhaps you could explore what your boyfriend doesn't understand about it's all.
If it's something like the diapers. You don't need them to regress there are other triggers. If you need any.

Hope that helps

 

[LilLynnWolf]

Perhaps you could explore what your boyfriend doesn't understand about it's all.
If it's something like the diapers. You don't need them to regress there are other triggers. If you need any.

Hope that helps

This is a excellent point. I don’t even wear at all and I still regress.

 

[dogboy]

For me, a day in diapers is a day I can escape from grief, missing my wife. I may only do it once a week but that one day gives me a short reprieve.

 

[siysiy]

This is a excellent point. I don’t even wear at all and I still regress.

Well it sounds like you really do need to give your self some time to be in Little space.

Think of it as a form of mediation if you like.

Like me you know the consequences of not being a Little.

Trust me Adulting does become easier when you have regress. It's still hard but because you are less stressed and you have thought things through it is easier.

Also my loving yourself in this way you will be able to give and receive love living your relationship.

Hugs

Siysiy

 

[ykdprdave]

I tried to keep this part of me suppressed for years growing up but all that did was make me miserable and like others turned to drugs and alcohol for another route to escape reality for a while

It’s amazing the impact this lifestyle has really. Even if I don’t really get to indulge, just being able to diaper up and snuggle bear to sleep it makes a huge difference for me

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

Drugs and alcohol don't help. They just make the final realizations in your life harder to cope with. When you stop self medicating, the problem is still there usually bigger. Take life straight with our a chaser.

 

[CrazySmoker]

Drinking and smoking (or another bad vicious) doesn't help, just by my personal experience. It really not replace pacis and diapers.

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

I relate to this post. I have tried to deny myself over and over and I’ve self medicated with weed and alcohol but I have come to realize I’m an adult baby and a diaper lover. I’m happiest staying sober and staying in diapers. I’m not where I want to be yet but I’m getting there. I wear my diapers every night and all day often but I’m not quite 24/7 yet. I keep thinking about getting rid of all my big girl undies but I keep putting it off. I get anxious about wearing around my friends. I’m not sure how to explain that I’m in diapers now. I don’t like making up stories. I know I won’t be truly content until I’m 24/7. I keep telling myself tomorrow will be the day.

If anyone notices then say you have a medical need.

 

[Jp82pikapi]

Luckilly, I never messed with drugs, but alcohol was a problem at one point. It was easy to turn to in a moment of stress and was at the time socially acceptable. But it created more problems and rarely solved any. I've found that diapers are a much better alternstive, I don't have any irl friends who indulge in them, at least not that I know about, but it's better to wake up in a wet diaper then with a hangover.

 

[BearTale]

as someone who really relates to this post first off I'm so sorry this is happening to you. if he loves you he will understand\comfort you. I feel like denying this lifestyle only makes things build up inside and make us hurt ourselves and our spirit. Know that this community will always be here for you if you need to talk about what is happening.
This isn't the way for everyone but I have literally told everyone except my father about being an ABDL. I feel like they need to know every part of me and I feel like if I hide it they will find out and it will be hard to get around (printed diapers, pacis ect...) medical needs don't work there guys and gals.

regardless. Whatever happens, you are loved here! <3 we will listen and understand

good luck!

 

[BearTale]

I relate to this post. I have tried to deny myself over and over and I’ve self medicated with weed and alcohol but I have come to realize I’m an adult baby and a diaper lover. I’m happiest staying sober and staying in diapers. I’m not where I want to be yet but I’m getting there. I wear my diapers every night and all day often but I’m not quite 24/7 yet. I keep thinking about getting rid of all my big girl undies but I keep putting it off. I get anxious about wearing around my friends. I’m not sure how to explain that I’m in diapers now. I don’t like making up stories. I know I won’t be truly content until I’m 24/7. I keep telling myself tomorrow will be the day.

we are here for you <3 it will be ok