Is the protection part of the problem?

[TheBlueHeron]

I have issues with both bladder and bowel control, and although it's been a lifelong issue, there's been a steep decline in the past few years.

Worsening control depends on many factors, caffeine, alcohol, antihistamine use, running water (even just the sound sometimes) can take my run-time down to almost nil.

I work from home with a standing desk near the bathroom, so I can postpone and get there within a few minutes if I'm feeling brave enough to go "commando" for a bit to dry out. It's just as urgent for both.

But if a dip is taped on, especially once it gets warm, it's all over. No notice and often no realization it's even happening. It's a constant struggle, do I wear and forget about it or gamble to stand on a chuck and run 12 times a day?

And cloth? Forget about it!
The barrier of cloth and the various restraints that are required to keep that type of protection in place make it an impossible goal. Once I get set for the night, I don't even bother.

The defeat of getting almost there and wetting anyway is enough to make me raise the white flag, but cloth is a necessary evil for overnight and a money saving investment only if it's used regularly.

So while I appreciate the options for protection, I also feel it's a deal with the devil. I saw someone post a bit ago about not being DL, but a diaperOKayer. I think I fall there as well.

You're okay, dips, for now, but keep your distance.

Sorry for the rant. Does anyone feel similarly?

 

[SeniorMan]

It's a constant struggle, do I wear and forget about it or gamble to stand on a chuck and run 12 times a day?

It would be best if you were diapered 24/7. Stop gambling with your peeing. It would help if you diapered up now.

 

[Eclectic]

I don’t. “Deal with the devil”? More like a gift from God for me. I’ve lived with bladder and bowel frequency, urgency, and IC my whole life and I’m in my mid-50’s. Thousands of accidents and near misses while wearing “normal” underwear over the years. Nevertheless, I tried my best not to wear diapers very often during the day until a few acute illnesses and surgeries pushed my bladder into the uncontrollable zone.

That was almost 20 years ago and I’ve been wearing 24/7 ever since. My only regret? That I didn’t start wearing regular daytime protection sooner. I live my life exactly as I would like without the embarrassment and stress of wetting and messing my clothes and anything else near me. And, it’s hard to describe how much better diapers are today than they were 40 years ago. Vastly better.

You should do what you feel best, of course. Me? I’m not going to let my urge IC control my life.

 

[hbic60]

I had very similar thoughts with the beginning of my UIC a year ago. First trying to go through the days (and nights) with only thin pull-up style protection, trying to reach the toilet as often as possible, at the very first beginning even limiting my fluid intake - but sooner or later (for me it was sooner!) as well self-acceptance (yes, I'm, medically examined and proved IC!) was growing and more and more the thinking "for whom do I make all this stress?". I decided simply to enhance the kind of protection, give a shit to all stigma, embarrassment and shame which some people might have, (my wife too encouraged me a lot simply to do what feels and works best for me, and if it means "full diapers", then it's OK!) and I switched not to arrange my life around my IC but instead continue to live my active and social life as before WITH diapers (which usually nobody else can tell) and wearing and using them without hesitation or shame.

In the end it's all about quality of life. If you feel that your quality of life is higher with the satisfaction of using as often as possible the toilet, then do so; If you feel more happy with wearing an using diapers, then go for that. All this has nothing to do with any kind of devil, it's simply your decision - which is even not a decision forever, but could also change during life!

 

[Pino]

I am with @hbic60 with this, nearly same thoughts and development.

When a toilet is available, i will try to use it, so when at home i try to get along without "protection", as my wife calls it, most days.

Outside the house i will be diapered every time and use it when necessary, even when there is a chance of finding a toilet somewhere, when the pain sets in, i will use the diaper. When outdoors, on my way to a doctor with my bike for example, i could perhaps find a location (a tree) to pee in the wild, but with diapers on, this not a good option any more.

I just use them to be able to do what i always did and yes, there is a difference when wearing in comparison to not be diapered:

When i am diapered my bladder sometimes decides to let go without noticing me, until now this rarely happened when i am not diapered.
Perhaps this some subconscious occurrence, i am not sure about that.

One question: How does antihistamine intake affect your bladder?

 

[TheBlueHeron]

One question: How does antihistamine intake affect your bladder?

They tend to make me feel like I constantly need to go while also making me leak small amounts without noticing.

They also use up brain bandwidth, I feel less focused when I take them and much less vigilant.

I have seen a doctor.
She found reasons.
Verification is good, I guess.
Nothing life threatening, just... this annoying thing.

 

[Bnuuy]

Are you taking a first generation antihistamine or a second generation antihistamine and if the former is there a second generation antihistamine that you could try using instead for whatever you're taking it for? I think they have a lot less side effects.

 

[greatlake5]

Aside when I was younger and tried to wear less protection, I've been diapered full-time since. Wetting doesn't cause embarrassment, stress or shame. As long I wear appropriate clothing. BM accidents, if they happen during the day (rare for me), of course it worries me that someone might notice. Most of these BM accidents occurred while sleeping. I try to air-out my skin everyday so going "commando" sometimes cause non-diapered accidents. I try to sit down instead of moving. I use a bed pad until I re-diaper. So protection isn't the problem. It's simply the way to manage IC.

 

[sport1]

It would be best if you were diapered 24/7. Stop gambling with your peeing. It would help if you diapered up now.

I totally agree tried to go without protection but is a no go so just wear and be safe.

 

[PupSpaz]

It seems there are stages those dealing with incontinence often go through... Denial to acceptance, choose your own adventure style!

"Fighting" for control is often more stressful than simply wearing appropriate protection and using it without care, that's what it's for. Changing the mindset about wearing the protection is a journey too - it's there to lower your stress and allow you to stay focused on things (life!) other than holding it or getting to the toilet on time or mapping out where the closest bathroom is at all times. Diapers (or whatever protection you use...) let you focus on living not on finding the bathroom. Guilt, shame and stigma are not helping and somehow need to be shown the door, lol.

Yep, using protection has it's own ups and downs, changes are necessary and comes with it's own unique challenges vs. using the toilet. There's also nothing preventing you from using both, whichever is most convenient at the time.

Choosing to use protection for your own quality of life isn't failure, it's acceptance and caring for yourself and your sanity. It's a wonderful tool for everyone that has trouble holding it and making it to the toilet.

 

[Edgewater]

As the saying goes, "my life was changed that day, forever!" After the car crash, 24/7, U-IC was a reality as the nerve damage limits the notice from: Run Now, to well that was a flood, with that was a flood the most common! Add a vast reduction in bladder size to near micro and using diapers is my choice of flood control.

Each new Doctor come with a new set of tools, and medications. And, the return to that which provides me an active life!

The things that bring some glimmer of hope, are those that are helped, by this or that product or medication.

What you choose is your choice, it is just that simple.

 

[slimjiminy]

On my case, my day diaper is light and cheap. I wear it mostly to guard against uncontrolled diarrhea (which has been a problem a few times in the past). Many days I change out of a dry brief. And then other days like tonight, I sat in front of the TV too long and urged. I didn't panic because I knew that I had my diaper on and that I will be changing into my overnight diaper shortly. I probably would have ran to the toilet if I didn't wear tonight.

 

[rennecfox]

Protection is a solution to the problem, You shouldn't look at it as " I might have made it if I weren't wearing" at the odd time that is the case but rather "If I weren't wearing this would have been a big mess"

 

[Dinotopian2002]

Honestly, it can vary for me.

I do try and use a toilet where possible, but honestly, it isn’t always, due to a mixture of an OAB, nerve damage and an inability to walk far. And when I was getting used to this, it was very frustrating.

But at the end of the day, I’m padded for medical reasons, so I shouldn’t feel bad about having to use them if I need to.

It’s a mental battle as much as a physical one, but one thing my counsellor taught me is that my disability doesn’t make me a failure - it just makes me disabled.

It may sound strange to you, but when I’ve not been able to use a toilet, I’ve been mentally patting myself on the back for using my diaper, rather than beat myself up.

When you’re IC, it’s hard, but your diaper is not your enemy - it’s your friend, because it allows you to go out and live your life better.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[Constantlydamp]

Honestly, it can vary for me.

I do try and use a toilet where possible, but honestly, it isn’t always, due to a mixture of an OAB, nerve damage and an inability to walk far. And when I was getting used to this, it was very frustrating.

But at the end of the day, I’m padded for medical reasons, so I shouldn’t feel bad about having to use them if I need to.

It’s a mental battle as much as a physical one, but one thing my counsellor taught me is that my disability doesn’t make me a failure - it just makes me disabled.

It may sound strange to you, but when I’ve not been able to use a toilet, I’ve been mentally patting myself on the back for using my diaper, rather than beat myself up.

When you’re IC, it’s hard, but your diaper is not your enemy - it’s your friend, because it allows you to go out and live your life better.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

what a great phrase "your diaper is not your enemy - it's your friend". I could not have put it better as modern protection such as nappies, plastic pants and external catheters mean that life goes on uninterrupted and this annoying condition can be effectively managed.

 

[PuffPuffPaci]

I'd rather have it and not use it rather than the other way around. I do feel shame and embarrassed about it. I know if people knew about it they would humiliate me and relentlessly tease about it. I would be laughed/harassed out of my job most likely. I work with cowboys and most are bilingual. They don't hesitate to say the most rude and disrespectful things in Spanish, at a normal conversation tone and volume, right in front of you. They assume non Hispanics don't speak Spanish. Which is mostly true. Unfortunately, I speak and understand well. But they don't know that oftentimes, so they drag me, right in front of me and everyone. They don't know I can understand them....it hurts. And I can't say anything.... otherwise it'll get worse. So I try not to wear them to work (when I need them cuz no bathrooms in places).

Sigh...I just wanna be normal and live normal. I wish I was....just regular. Everyone else can hold their piss...I wish I could too. It's frustrating, being muscular and manly but also wearing a pull-up and knowing that no matter how masculine, handsome, etc you will never get out of diapers....makes me feel pathetic and gross. Like women will be disgusted and men will think it's hilarious. Ugh sorry to be a downer....but who else can I share this with? Wearing the pull up keeps my clothes dry, but also keeps me isolated.

 

[Neroforte]

Protection not the problem think is more accepting ourselves with it what create a problem. Diaped 24/7 have help me a lot with confidence back on track

 

[sport1]

Honestly, it can vary for me.

I do try and use a toilet where possible, but honestly, it isn’t always, due to a mixture of an OAB, nerve damage and an inability to walk far. And when I was getting used to this, it was very frustrating.

But at the end of the day, I’m padded for medical reasons, so I shouldn’t feel bad about having to use them if I need to.

It’s a mental battle as much as a physical one, but one thing my counsellor taught me is that my disability doesn’t make me a failure - it just makes me disabled.

It may sound strange to you, but when I’ve not been able to use a toilet, I’ve been mentally patting myself on the back for using my diaper, rather than beat myself up.

When you’re IC, it’s hard, but your diaper is not your enemy - it’s your friend, because it allows you to go out and live your life better.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

You are soo right fought it along time.