Is late potty training becoming increasingly normalized?

[foxkits]

Dr spock in the 60's? No flipping way you got to be joking. Also 31/2? What's that.

Was not Spock from Star trek.
This is a baby expert Dr from the time a parent how to book covered everything from infant to 4.
Feeding baths all child home health care and how they develop and mile stones known at the time.

 

[foxkits]

Dr spock in the 60's? No flipping way you got to be joking. Also 31/2? What's that.

3 and one half years .
I have a writing impairment.
That was not recognized in the 60s. Way before your time.
I can read anything but getting written is a struggle. Being born in the 60s only one born in my time period would know some of what I lived through. Your fine you young wipper snapper don't play on my lawn

 

[GoodniteQueen]

3 and one half years .
I have a writing impairment.
That was not recognized in the 60s. Way before your time.
I can read anything but getting written is a struggle. Being born in the 60s only one born in my time period would know some of what I lived through. Your fine you young wipper snapper don't play on my lawn

I apologize. I didn't mean to poke fun.

 

[GoodniteQueen]

Was not Spock from Star trek.
This is a baby expert Dr from the time a parent how to book covered everything from infant to 4.
Feeding baths all child home health care and how they develop and mile stones known at the time.

I figured it wasn't mr. nemoy it's still a happy coincidence given it was the 60's

 

[foxkits]

I apologize. I didn't mean to poke fun.

I was poking fun back at you

 

[SoggyRunner]

Yeah, our oldest trained at 20 months with zero pushing from us. My wife was a stay-at-home mom and was nannying a friend's older daughter for a little extra money. Her friend's daughter was mostly potty trained, and that peer pressure ended up being all that was needed. We had it pretty easy. And then our youngest came along. He really wanted to use the potty like his big sister, but his was a case of being willing before he was physically ready. His bladder seemed to have the capacity of a shot glass, so he needed to go very regularly, and it was always urgent. (Road trips were quite miserable!) Still, I think we had it easy with him too, because he was very motivated by the idea that using the potty was what big kids and adults do. He was a lot like the ideal kid in the Pull-Ups ad who's playing, needs to go, and diligently runs off to the bathroom. He just...usually didn't get there in time. We were patient, and he ended up daytime-trained around age three.

In the end, I don't know whether we did something right or were mostly lucky. For both of our kids, seeing another kid use the potty seemed to have a big impact. I sometimes wonder, in cases where a child is very resistant to using the potty, if they've ever seen anybody else use one (or the toilet). Kids are born copy-cats, so modeling the behaviors you want is one of the best ways to get them!

I agree, and our experience about 10 years ago was similar in that our son wanted to be out of diapers, mostly. My wife was at home with him and started potty training just after his 2nd birthday. He was excited to be a big kid and tried his best, but physically just wasn’t ready, so after a couple of weeks we went back to diapers and took a break for a few months. Toward late summer, we tried again with more success. He started preschool at 2-1/2, potty training not required, but he knew several older potty trained kids and didn't want to be in a diaper at school. For the first couple of months he wore pull-ups when out of the house and at preschool, and was hit or miss with accidents. Suddenly in late fall, it clicked, and he started staying dry and was in underwear within about a week.
The bigger problem was pooping. He never had poop accidents when out or at preschool, and pretty much always held it until nap time after lunch. At that age he rarely napped, but had to at least play quietly in his room while mom got a break. No matter how much we tried to have him come out to go, sit on the potty before nap time, etc., he refused to stop for the bathroom and just pooped in his pants and kept playing instead. He would get very upset that we'd make him stop playing to change, but stubbornly refused to believe he would have less interruption if he just stopped for the potty. It was a big battle of wills and driving us crazy, so at the advice of his pediatrician and several friends, we went back to diapers (he was still wearing them at night) at nap time and just waited it out. At about age 3-1/2, he started asking us to take off the diaper so he could go, and that was the end of them in daytime. Night time was a different story, and he wasn’t regularly dry at night until about age 10. Most of the kids in his preschool class and those of our friends were potty training about the same age and almost all out of diapers/pull-ups by 3 to 3-1/2.

 

[12srepaid]

My big concern is that an older child may be wearing diapers, but all that people think is "Why isn't he/she potty trained yet?" even if the child has a disability. (physical, devevelopmental, other) Sometimes people need to mind their own business, as it should be of no concern to them.

 

[Paddedbossman]

Is there correlation between the increase in avg potty training age and the increase in needing a two-parent income household?

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

Is there correlation between the increase in avg potty training age and the increase in needing a two-parent income household?

it’s very likely. Back when mothers stayed at home, they could dedicate much more time to potty training. But most families also used cloth diapers, which meant that kids formed the connection between voiding = discomfort and also moms wanted their kids out of diapers sooner, since cleaning cloth diapers was very labor intensive.

 

[12srepaid]

There are people who comment on YT who would see a kid with autism, angelman syndrome, hip dysplasia, etc...and still wonder why he/she is still wearing a diaper. Like really, Is that their biggest concern?

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

There are people who comment on YT who would see a kid with autism, angelman syndrome, hip dysplasia, etc...and still wonder why he/she is still wearing a diaper. Like really, Is that their biggest concern?

That’s messed up, the people who do this are seriously due for a reality check.

But this thread was more about the recent trend of neurotypical kids not being trained simply because the parents don’t feel like putting in the effort or think the kid “isn’t ready” even past age 3.5-4

 

[ZetaSonic]

On a case by case basis, I’m in favor of bigger diapers being more readily available. It would at least kill stigmas when it comes to kids who still pee in the bed.

 

[12srepaid]

That’s messed up, the people who do this are seriously due for a reality check.

But this thread was more about the recent trend of neurotypical kids not being trained simply because the parents don’t feel like putting in the effort or think the kid “isn’t ready” even past age 3.5-4

Has any case studies to see what's really going on? There has to be more to this than just clumping things together, just for people to call it laziness.

 

[12srepaid]

On a case by case basis, I’m in favor of bigger diapers being more readily available. It would at least kill stigmas when it comes to kids who still pee in the bed.

It seems like only a few groups are allowed to wear diapers. But everybody goes to an tizzy, if a preschooler, up to a teen, needs diapers.

 

[ZetaSonic]

It seems like only a few groups are allowed to wear diapers. But everybody goes to an tizzy, if a preschooler, up to a teen, needs diapers.

At least tech could somehow improve to the point that they become more affordable and we’d have stuff like “Luvs Plus”.

 

[Lori]

I think people are being a bit snobbish here.

Given there are some people here, not that I am one of them, who have got to wear diapers/nappies for reasons they can't control, I'd expect people to be a bit more understanding.
Personally, for context, I wore nappies fulltime until about my 3rd birthday in 2002. That's probably later than average for a girl at the time.

I think people, knowingly or not, are adding to the stigma around diapers. Isn't that the epitome of what this website is supposedly to be against?
Personally I think we should break the stereotype that diapers are exclusively for babies and very young kids. People are saying 'oh, kids will get bullied if they wear diapers past "[insert age here]". Look, bullying says nothing about the kid in Diapers, and a lot about the judgemental POS(s) directing that bullying at them.
I say teach kids who are around 3-5 ... around the age they are just starting mainstream education....that diapers aren't just for babies, and if you see a classmate wearing a diaper, that's okay.

That's not to say that, if possible, kids should be trained while they're still toddlers, all I'm saying is that I don't think it's the end of the world if they're not.

I don't have a kid. If I did, I would encourage them gently to train once they showed signs ... but they'd be my child, I wouldn't care if I had to change their nappy until they were like 4 or whatever. And f**k any waste of space who tried to bully them for having a nappy on a an age that society deems arbitrarily they shouldn't.

 

[BenNevis]

I think there needs to be a level of understanding that everyone has different circumstances and needs. Sometimes potty training is going to take longer for some kids than others and there could be so many reasons why and I think it’s important for people on the outside of a situation to always think they know it all. When I looked back in my baby book, it was noted that I stayed potty training around 3-3.5 and there isn’t really any other reason than it just took that long for me to understand what my body was doing and get to the potty. If someone had sat there and said, ‘hmmm he should be trained earlier’ it wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference since I just wasn’t ready before that.

However, even once I was out of them, I remember that there other kids around my age still in nappies and I didn’t think it was nice to make fun of them. For the first thing, just because I was out of nappies didn’t mean accidents didn’t happen and was really obviously really embarrassing, far more than being in a nappy.

Maybe the age of training is moving later, with the use of disposables and pull ups helping move it later. I think it becomes a problem if parents aren’t taking an interest in potty training and simply leave kids in nappies when they’re showing they’re ready. That would be neglectful but I don’t think is the main reason why potty training is moving older.

 

[Lori]

However, even once I was out of them, I remember that there other kids around my age still in nappies and I didn’t think it was nice to make fun of them. For the first thing, just because I was out of nappies didn’t mean accidents didn’t happen and was really obviously really embarrassing, far more than being in a nappy.

Yes, this is a good point too. Again, I don't have a kid, but if I did and they were, say, 4 years old and still having accidents, it'd be a hell of a lot better for everybody if it happened in a nappy, in which it can be discreetly contained and easily disposed of, than without a nappy where you'd potentially have to change all their clothes.

 

[BenNevis]

Yes, this is a good point too. Again, I don't have a kid, but if I did and they were, say, 4 years old and still having accidents, it'd be a hell of a lot better for everybody if it happened in a nappy, in which it can be discreetly contained and easily disposed of, than without a nappy where you'd potentially have to change all their clothes.

That’s exactly what I was thinking. Having been that child myself, it would have been far more stress and a lot more upsetting to not just have been kept in nappies until I was ready. After all, no kid wants to constantly end up in wet pants and standing in a puddle so it was really important to not feel like I was getting in trouble for something I couldn’t control yet.

 

[Lori]

That’s exactly what I was thinking. Having been that child myself, it would have been far more stress and a lot more upsetting to not just have been kept in nappies until I was ready. After all, no kid wants to constantly end up in wet pants and standing in a puddle so it was really important to not feel like I was getting in trouble for something I couldn’t control yet.

Yeah one hundred percent. A kid of like 4-5 wearing a nappy, although probably not ideal, is a heck of a lot easier to explain than a kid who constantly is in the humiliating situation of standing in a puddle of their own p**s or something.

Even if I had a kid of like 3-4 who was mostly toilet trained, I'd probably still keep them full-time in Pull Up-type nappies if there's a chance of them having an accident... I'd tell them its good they can use the bathroom on their own, but they also have an 'insurance policy' in the form of the nappy if they can't make it.
If they still needed taped nappies full time until they were like 5, that still wouldn't bother me.