Is late potty training becoming increasingly normalized?

[PadPhilosopher]

Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge people because they aren't doing what "everyone else" does. After all, a poll I saw in a different thread indicates that about 3 of 4 people here wear diapers largely because they can. There's nothing wrong with that, but maybe we shouldn't be so quick to throw rocks. Everyone has a different set of circumstances.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Other interesting thoughts: if this is a trend, it will make those children entering school still diaper dependent more normal, hence less shamed, in theory. It will thus normalize diaper wearing beyond babies to a certain extent, and that would mean that over time, the stigma of wearing diapers at any time, for any reason, will lessen. After all, many older children and adults do, and some must. Surely lessened stigma is a good thing?

 

[GoodniteQueen]

No the norm was by 31/2 most were trained. The parents potty training books I have looked at over the years. In my time period Dr spock was the expert there's a chapter on potty training even delays also bed-wetters. I read a lot of those books trying to find why I was hooked on wearing diapers. The 60s was a different time for us children.
But I read over the years the child needed a period of being able to feel and developed enough to be wet or messy to understand that feeling.
Even Mr Rogers had a potty training book. Others have said the disposable diaper child doesn't feel wet and are not uncomfortable.
That's why they made pullups with a feel wet pad in them to help with the feeling when the child wet.

Dr spock in the 60's? No flipping way you got to be joking. Also 31/2? What's that.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Dr spock in the 60's? No flipping way you got to be joking. Also 31/2? What's that.

3-1/2? Three and a half? And he's not talking about the Star Trek character ....

 

[GoodniteQueen]

3-1/2? Three and a half? And he's not talking about the Star Trek character ....

Sorry I saw 31 over 2 so I was confused and I wasn't talking about Mr.nemoy it's just something really funny given the time period

 

[HappyNappin]

@PadPhilosopher , Choosing to wear diapers, as an adult, is a personal decision, but deciding to keep a child in your care in diapers and not toilet train them is failing in their duty of care, and bordering on abusive.
Children wearing in school is a slippery slope.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

@PadPhilosopher , Choosing to wear diapers, as an adult, is a personal decision, but deciding to keep a child in your care in diapers and not toilet train them is failing in their duty of care, and bordering on abusive.
Children wearing in school is a slippery slope.

I think very few parents do, in fact, decide "to keep a child in [their] care in diapers and not toilet train them." I'd expect in most cases it's just a matter of not thinking much about it either way. The status quo is a powerful thing, and oblivion seems to be the main fault with many parents these days.

As for a slippery slope, all of life has become that these days. I'm not saying it's a good thing, only that if that's how it's going to be, it's not the end of the world, and there are some upsides.

 

[HappyNappin]

I think very few parents do, in fact, decide "to keep a child in [their] care in diapers and not toilet train them." I'd expect in most cases it's just a matter of not thinking much about it either way. The status quo is a powerful thing, and oblivion seems to be the main fault with many parents these days.

As for a slippery slope, all of life has become that these days. I'm not saying it's a good thing, only that if that's how it's going to be, it's not the end of the world, and there are some upsides.

Hmm, my options on that are possibly best not published out in the open, I've got my theories why some parents do what they do.
The school thing is interesting, you'd think the kids would be bullied but, bullying is not allowed here anymore it's very strictly controlled by the school and parents are immediately involved, basically if you're (figurative) child is found to be bullying my (figurative) nappy wearing child because of what's termed as a disability, then it's your responsibility to stop them and tell them everything you told them during potty training doesn't apply to my child.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Hmm, my options on that are possibly best not published out in the open, I've got my theories why some parents do what they do.
The school thing is interesting, you'd think the kids would be bullied but, bullying is not allowed here anymore it's very strictly controlled by the school and parents are immediately involved, basically if you're (figurative) child is found to be bullying my (figurative) nappy wearing child because of what's termed as a disability, then it's your responsibility to stop them and tell them everything you told them during potty training doesn't apply to my child.

Or maybe, that being unkind to other people is always wrong, regardless of whether or not you think they're making good life choices. That's a lesson too few learn, ever.

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

@PadPhilosopher , Choosing to wear diapers, as an adult, is a personal decision, but deciding to keep a child in your care in diapers and not toilet train them is failing in their duty of care, and bordering on abusive.
Children wearing in school is a slippery slope.

Facts. We as adults can CHOOSE to wear diapers, and I assume most people here only wear occasionally. But for a parent to say "meh, toilet training sounds hard and messy. I'm sure the kid will figure it out on their own eventually" is abuse. Chidlren wearing to school is simply not a possibility. Teachers simply dont have the time to handle 20+ kids at various stages of training, change diapers, etc.

 

[Hell2DaNaw]

Hmm, my options on that are possibly best not published out in the open, I've got my theories why some parents do what they do.
The school thing is interesting, you'd think the kids would be bullied but, bullying is not allowed here anymore it's very strictly controlled by the school and parents are immediately involved, basically if you're (figurative) child is found to be bullying my (figurative) nappy wearing child because of what's termed as a disability, then it's your responsibility to stop them and tell them everything you told them during potty training doesn't apply to my child.

Rules banning bullying are hardly effective. Even if the bullying is not outright, if a kid is going to school in diapers, he or she will still get teased and ostracized by their peers. Imagine how embarrassing it'd be if your classmate raised their hand and said "teacher, HappyNappin smells like poop"

 

[PurpleScorpion]

Sometimes I feel like we forget that kids can have opinions and moods.

If a toddler is throwing tantrums left and right at any attempt to get them to use the potty, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to pause, go back to diapers, and maybe wait until they're in a more cooperative mood.

 

[HappyNappin]

Rules banning bullying are hardly effective. Even if the bullying is not outright, if a kid is going to school in diapers, he or she will still get teased and ostracized by their peers. Imagine how embarrassing it'd be if your classmate raised their hand and said "teacher, HappyNappin smells like poop"

No I don't, *sticks hand down back of his soggy pull up*

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Sometimes I feel like we forget that kids can have opinions and moods.

If a toddler is throwing tantrums left and right at any attempt to get them to use the potty, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to pause, go back to diapers, and maybe wait until they're in a more cooperative mood.

There's a delicate balance here: while I do believe parents should be conscious and compassionate toward their children's feelings, they also have to be parents. Children rarely know, more rarely still choose, the things which are better for them. "Would you like chicken and broccoli, or cake and ice cream for dinner?" Sometimes, and with some children often, a parent has to gently but firmly insist that the child behave in ways that are not what they prefer, for their betterment. That's called parenting.

 

[PurpleScorpion]

There's a delicate balance here: while I do believe parents should be conscious and compassionate toward their children's feelings, they also have to be parents. Children rarely know, more rarely still choose, the things which are better for them. "Would you like chicken and broccoli, or cake and ice cream for dinner?" Sometimes, and with some children often, a parent has to gently but firmly insist that the child behave in ways that are not what they prefer, for their betterment. That's called parenting.

I'm going to call in a friend here, because he has experience with this: @Cottontail

It's reductive to act like all toddlers are at best ambivalent and at worst hateful towards the potty. He can attest that some kids really like the idea of being a 'big kid' and will jump at the chance to use the potty, really early even.

There are signs of readiness you can look for, things like attention span, ability to take off/put on clothing, diaper awareness, etc that you can test for, and for some kids, those signs come in later rather than earlier. And mood can matter! The Terrible Twos can level out and calm down, and I don't think it's a bad thing to wait for a toddler's mood to become less combative and more cooperative to make things easier!

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I'm going to call in a friend here, because he has experience with this: @Cottontail

It's reductive to act like all toddlers are at best ambivalent and at worst hateful towards the potty. He can attest that some kids really like the idea of being a 'big kid' and will jump at the chance to use the potty, really early even.

There are signs of readiness you can look for, things like attention span, ability to take off/put on clothing, diaper awareness, etc that you can test for, and for some kids, those signs come in later rather than earlier. And mood can matter! The Terrible Twos can level out and calm down, and I don't think it's a bad thing to wait for a toddler's mood to become less combative and more cooperative to make things easier!

Also all true, hence, a delicate balance indeed.

 

[foxkits]

I'm going to call in a friend here, because he has experience with this: @Cottontail

It's reductive to act like all toddlers are at best ambivalent and at worst hateful towards the potty. He can attest that some kids really like the idea of being a 'big kid' and will jump at the chance to use the potty, really early even.

There are signs of readiness you can look for, things like attention span, ability to take off/put on clothing, diaper awareness, etc that you can test for, and for some kids, those signs come in later rather than earlier. And mood can matter! The Terrible Twos can level out and calm down, and I don't think it's a bad thing to wait for a toddler's mood to become less combative and more cooperative to make things easier!

The big thing is the child happy there are things that can delay a child. Remember there was a commercial about toilet freshener
Taming a monster toilet back to normal when you used it.
It scared a lot of little kids .
They were afraid of the toilet.
Is the parents getting a divorce.
It's still the child mind set. Is it a stable home. Is there abuse in the Household.So it's case by case all the books I have read if a child is delayed talk to the child Dr. I read of one judge order parents to potty training of there child.
On you tube a super nanny where the parents put there kids in diapers at night and gave them bottles at night. She corrected the problem with the parents. Not all parents know how to raise kids.
All of us here want the children to grow up happy and well adjusted.
Though some where we turned out deferent. For some wanting diapers
Enjoying the feel and triggering comfort. What ever the reason.

 

[Cottontail]

It's reductive to act like all toddlers are at best ambivalent and at worst hateful towards the potty. He can attest that some kids really like the idea of being a 'big kid' and will jump at the chance to use the potty, really early even.

Yeah, our oldest trained at 20 months with zero pushing from us. My wife was a stay-at-home mom and was nannying a friend's older daughter for a little extra money. Her friend's daughter was mostly potty trained, and that peer pressure ended up being all that was needed. We had it pretty easy. And then our youngest came along. He really wanted to use the potty like his big sister, but his was a case of being willing before he was physically ready. His bladder seemed to have the capacity of a shot glass, so he needed to go very regularly, and it was always urgent. (Road trips were quite miserable!) Still, I think we had it easy with him too, because he was very motivated by the idea that using the potty was what big kids and adults do. He was a lot like the ideal kid in the Pull-Ups ad who's playing, needs to go, and diligently runs off to the bathroom. He just...usually didn't get there in time. We were patient, and he ended up daytime-trained around age three.

In the end, I don't know whether we did something right or were mostly lucky. For both of our kids, seeing another kid use the potty seemed to have a big impact. I sometimes wonder, in cases where a child is very resistant to using the potty, if they've ever seen anybody else use one (or the toilet). Kids are born copy-cats, so modeling the behaviors you want is one of the best ways to get them!

 

[PurpleScorpion]

Yeah there's a reason why one piece of advice is to go to the bathroom yourself with the door open so your toddler can see you go.

 

[CptKirk]

I forgot to mention that with both of my sons, they were fully potty trained (oldest had bed wetting issues for years) by the time they were 2-2 1/2, in that area. It wasn't difficult with either of them and both were trained when they were ready. It's not that difficult (as a parent) to tell when your child is ready to start potty training, and making it fun sped things right along. With my oldest son money was never an issue when he was still in diapers but I got sick when my youngest was 2 1/2 so it was a REALLY GOOD thing he was potty trained already as every nickel mattered at that time and for years afterwards.

CptKirk