Incontinence has a way of making you feel lazy.

[enthusi]

At least it does for me! Obvious disclaimers… everyone is different, there are different degrees and causes of incontinence, etc etc etc.

I have a mix of severe urge and functional UI. Even though I desperately wanted to be incontinent and diaper dependent and I hated every minute of having bladder control, I STILL go down this rabbit hole where I feel lazy when I’m not diapered and I have an accident.

Case in point. Last night I was airing out while doing chores. I made a commitment to try to make it to the bathroom if I could. I knew that was unlikely to happen and I took necessary precautions such as wearing junky pants, not sitting on furniture or going on carpeted areas, etc.

So there I was standing at my desk in my basement office, writing out a bulleted to do list when BAM my bladder goes from zero (empty) to 80 and climbing. This is normal for me. I know from past experience that if I try my hardest to hold it in, I have about 20-30 seconds until I reach 100 and my bladder muscles give out and I start urinating.

I was consciously aware that I would have to immediately stop what I’m doing and run to the toilet if there was to be any hope of me making it on time. And yet I was writing mid-sentence when the urge hit and I had just thought of other important to do items that I wanted to write down before I forgot them. So I frantically scribbled the items down and trying my hardest to keep the muscles clenched. Surprise surprise, it took too long and I ended up peeing my pants.

My first thought was “I could’ve made it, but I prioritized writing down my thoughts over staying dry. Therefore I’m lazy.” This is ALWAYS my conclusion when I’m not padded and I feel the urge to pee and don’t make it to the bathroom on time. “I could’ve made it, but I chose to wait too long…”

It’s so easy to forget that while it’s technically true that I could’ve made it if I ran to the bathroom quicker, it’s unrealistic to be able to do that all the time. It’s not laziness to want to finish writing a few bullet points before you run to the bathroom. That’s why they make adult diapers!

Incontinence is weird.

 

[dpcare]

I don't think it makes you lazy as you need to practice good hygiene to avoid rashes

 

[enthusi]

I don't think it makes you lazy as you need to practice good hygiene to avoid rashes

Good point there. Over the years various friends and family have joked that it must be nice to avoid inconvenient bathroom breaks and gross public restrooms. It’s funny to me to see the look on their faces when they realize that I still have to take breaks and use gross bathrooms for diaper changes.

 

[Elhon]

I know what you mean, it is like you have given up on something that basically anyone else can do. Mine defiantly feels that way as I can get by without diapers but it takes a lot of effort. I basically have to time when I have liquids and when I feel the urge to go and there are times that I have simply always had accidents. The weird thing is I know this is false I have had accidents since I was a kid and as much as I do like diapers wetting in public is still embarrassing.

 

[slimjiminy]

In my case, I wear a pull-up or diaper during the day for accident prevention. I usually get enough warning that I can make it unless the bathroom is occupied. However, at night, especially just before bed time, I get tired and sometimes sleepy. If I'm watching tv I can forget that I am lying on my back (couch) and this can surprise me out of the blue if I haven't gone in a while. Since I have to sit up first (to allow blood pressure to normalize), it's usually too late once I stand up. Another situation (at night) is I can be too tired to go down the stairs to the washroom. And if I know that I am about to change into my overnight diaper, I'll just be lazy and let it flow.

 

[SoggyApril]

I've just recently gotten to the point that my Urge IC has meant I can't always make it on time, and I've had the occasion where I've just stopped short, because there was no point in continuing toward the loo (I find it near impossible to stop midstream, meaning once it's going, trying to pull anything down and sit on the loo is just going to make a mess). But I always have that feeling of "you clearly didn't try hard enough if you stopped" afterwards.

 

[LittleEnigma]

I can't control my wetting cause i don't have any control, i drink a lot to keep myself hydrated, but i pee a lot too. I can control messing though mostly, and try not to mess my diaper, unless i am caught short.

 

[hbic60]

At the beginning of my urge incontinence I tried to go with pull-ups as thin as possible, trying to reach the toilet as much as possible, trying to find out if I can't even be without protection and so on. After a (short) time I recognized that I was concentrating a way too much in managing my IC instead of living my life! I didn't want to continue going this path and decided to accept being IC, wear a proper protection (which nobody else btw. can remark) and do whatever I did before being IC. If the urge hits and a bathroom is reachable in reasonable way I use it, but if not I do not worry at all using my diaper. I've learned managing my IC in a discreet way, I don't make a big deal of it, have a good protection. I have to change usually only once over the day (and of course in the evening to my night diaper until morning). My wife is fine with how I'm handling everything so life is good!

 

[LittleEnigma]

At the beginning of my urge incontinence I tried to go with pull-ups as thin as possible, trying to reach the toilet as much as possible, trying to find out if I can't even be without protection and so on. After a (short) time I recognized that I was concentrating a way too much in managing my IC instead of living my life! I didn't want to continue going this path and decided to accept being IC, wear a proper protection (which nobody else btw. can remark) and do whatever I did before being IC. If the urge hits and a bathroom is reachable in reasonable way I use it, but if not I do not worry at all using my diaper. I've learned managing my IC in a discreet way, I don't make a big deal of it, have a good protection. I have to change usually only once over the day (and of course in the evening to my night diaper until morning). My wife is fine with how I'm handling everything so life is good!

That's the right attitude to have.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

My body has good days and bad days - and this includes my bladder control too.
I still have some control over it, but it fluctuates.

However, I have severe chronic pain from the waist down which makes walking very difficult - so I use a wheelchair to get around. While I can walk a bit, it hurts me a lot.

However, finding an accessible bathroom isn’t as easy as a regular one. And even if I do find one there can be a queue.

Is my diaper always necessary? Theoretically, no. But dealing with a neurogenic bladder and functional IC means that it is. Disability just complicates everything.

I’d rather wear my diaper and not need it, than not wear it - but need it.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[LordDuque]

I don't think it makes you lazy as you need to practice good hygiene to avoid rashes

Yeah, that’s very true. Specially in summer When home and not sleeping I always try to be without diapers for my skin to breathe. Cause if you don’t the rush can be unbearable and very painful when ammonia is touching the irritated skin.

 

[cantwait]

I've just recently gotten to the point that my Urge IC has meant I can't always make it on time, and I've had the occasion where I've just stopped short, because there was no point in continuing toward the loo (I find it near impossible to stop midstream, meaning once it's going, trying to pull anything down and sit on the loo is just going to make a mess). But I always have that feeling of "you clearly didn't try hard enough if you stopped" afterwards.

I wouldn’t feel bad about that, it just depends on the situation. Better to have everything contained, then make a big mess and potentially have other people find out about it. There’s a reason why we wear protection.