I think I'm in a binge, how to avoid a purge?

[lust4apples]

So the last time I binge bought was the first time I really let myself explore being a little, at least 7 or 8 years. It was a small binge at a local dollar store and I only bought a a sample pack of diapers, a paci, a bib, and a bottle.

I didn't like the feeling of these things, or maybe the shame just got me. After using all the items exactly once they all ended up trashed.

About a month and a half ago I finally opened up to my partner about wanting to wear diapers now and then and I've started buying my own diaper supplies which was not an issue at all, as part of giving myself the space to explore abdl is trying things.

How I'm not admitting part of my fear of trying this is a lingering worry I am a little, likely a diaper wearing 5 to 10 year old. I'm still figuring this out as it's only been a month since I was even willing to talk about this or admit this to myself. After further conversations with my spouse I'm likely going to continue exploring this, with him in a supportive but not true caretaking role (He's put his boundaries in place and those boundaries are completely reasonable to me). We decided to take this exploration slowly.

Except in the time since then I've bought a cloth diaper, more disposables, a onesie, a sippy cup and I've been looking at some little boy clothes. (I keep finding things on sale or clearance so most stuff has been affordable.) I still know I don't want to go over board and I for sure don't want to give my partner financial control for past trauma reasons.

So do you all have any tips for slowing down a binge and more importantly avoiding a purge once the binge excitement wears off?

 

[Hemix]

In my case, I could prevent purges by letting myself experience intense waves of pleasure related to nappies.

When I had any doubt or insecurity, I pressed my padding against my butt, I felt pleasure and postponed the thought process.

This ended up halting the purge, thus breaking the cycle and making nappies a permanent element of my daily life.

It can happen that I can think how my life could be without them, but the pleasure I get from them always stops any chance of purging.

Perhaps that could help thee, make sure thou gettest pleasure often if thou triest this way, at least at the beginning.

 

[LuckyRed23]

I might not be the best person to answer this question and wasn't sure if I should post this response. I'm still relatively new and figuring things out myself and haven't been though any binge buy/dump cycles, although there is always something I would love to buy if I wasn't limited to space and required to hide everything.

In your case however it sounds like you have a supportive partner that's providing a safe space to explore that you didn't have 8 years ago? As such this time you don't have to dispose of everything, if it doesn't work for you just put it in a box should you wish to come back to it later. You are also being reasonably sensible with purchases, you may have bought a lot of things all of a sudden but only one of each just to try them? And you are not getting in debt buying things you don't need so I think you are doing well here too.

I could be completely wrong and misunderstood but it sounds like what's more important at the moment is to take a moment and realise that there is no need to rush, just take things slowly as you agreed to, you don't need to try everything all at once, as overwhelming that all maybe, you have plenty of time to explore and figure out what works for you and what doesn't, you should try to enjoy that time, and most importantly be kind to yourself

 

[lust4apples]

I might not be the best person to answer this question and wasn't sure if I should post this response. I'm still relatively new and figuring things out myself and haven't been though any binge buy/dump cycles, although there is always something I would love to buy if I wasn't limited to space and required to hide everything.

In your case however it sounds like you have a supportive partner that's providing a safe space to explore that you didn't have 8 years ago? As such this time you don't have to dispose of everything, if it doesn't work for you just put it in a box should you wish to come back to it later. You are also being reasonably sensible with purchases, you may have bought a lot of things all of a sudden but only one of each just to try them? And you are not getting in debt buying things you don't need so I think you are doing well here too.

I could be completely wrong and misunderstood but it sounds like what's more important at the moment is to take a moment and realise that there is no need to rush, just take things slowly as you agreed to, you don't need to try everything all at once, as overwhelming that all maybe, you have plenty of time to explore and figure out what works for you and what doesn't, you should try to enjoy that time, and most importantly be kind to yourself

I'm so glad you did choose to reply because I think your reply is super thoughtful and honest. It's what I needed to hear. So thank you!

 

[LiddleBigBoy]

Keping balance in my life has helped me avoid purges or halting of enjoying my ABDL lifestyle. Continue maintaining relationships with people, exercising, eating well, and taking care of your day to day stuff. Then your binge is well deserved! If you’re slacking on responsibilities to indulge your desires, you’ll end up feeling bad and more likely purge.

 

[Stitch]

Take your time. I just got into the diaper wearing and I love it. I wear comfees as a daily wear. I also just got into paci's and bottles and I am now liking it. You have to work slow and build up. You also have to be comfortable with yourself when you wear theses or use any kind of baby toys.

 

[DBabygirl2]

Be kind to yourself take a break if you need to to handle daily life stuff. What works for me is to remind myself that it’s okay to be little and there’s nothing wrong with being back in diapers. The urge to purge goes away when I award myself with a new blankie, or favorite diapers.

 

[messydiaper]

I'm fifty-ish something, so my last purge was over 30 years ago in my 20's.

I would go sometimes months without wearing a diaper, the urge would hit me mostly when I knew I had some alone time or I was travelling alone on a trip. I am DL and enjoy climaxes with diapers, but each time one of those climaxes is achieved, the DL side of me started to feel guilt and disgust. I was never able to play with diapers for more than about three days, and at the end of that three day climax fest, I would often resolve to throw away my stash and never engage in this behavior again.

A month or two later, the urge to wear would return and I'd be out shopping for more diapers...

These cycles ended when I bought a house and had control over my own property and I could safely hide my stash where others would not find it.

Now I'm not as likely to use diapers for sexual pleasure, and there's still excitement about them, but I rarely use them when I'm taking care of intimate activities, so I don't get disgusted with them.

 

[safaridaze]

I'm fifty-ish something, so my last purge was over 30 years ago in my 20's.

I would go sometimes months without wearing a diaper, the urge would hit me mostly when I knew I had some alone time or I was travelling alone on a trip. I am DL and enjoy climaxes with diapers, but each time one of those climaxes is achieved, the DL side of me started to feel guilt and disgust. I was never able to play with diapers for more than about three days, and at the end of that three day climax fest, I would often resolve to throw away my stash and never engage in this behavior again.

A month or two later, the urge to wear would return and I'd be out shopping for more diapers...

These cycles ended when I bought a house and had control over my own property and I could safely hide my stash where others would not find it.

Now I'm not as likely to use diapers for sexual pleasure, and there's still excitement about them, but I rarely use them when I'm taking care of intimate activities, so I don't get disgusted with them.

messy diaper. WOW - that is my exact story too. It used to be a much more sexual thing for me. and when I did climax, I was so disgusted with myself, it all went in the trash and I vowed to never touch it again, at least until I did again a few weeks or months latter. Countless cycles. I often wondered if others had the same aversions after a climax.

However, I have somewhere over time migrated away from the sexual aspect, and now just enjoy the comfort. In fact, it really is not a sexual rise for me at all anymore. and my buy purge cycles have significantly reduced. I still go weeks / months without, then I cant get enough for a week.

For me the very odd part is that recently, I have discovered I am not just a DL, but there is a little side in me too. I think alot about being nurtured, controlled and disciplined by a CG.