I shouldn't be jealous

[Chatzoe]

I shouldn't get jealous when people show off their ABDL goodies and what not but for some reason I just do. I don't know it's because I don't have the environment that have nor the support that they receive.
But it's so frustrating dealing with that in the back of my mind every time I see stuff like it.

I just wish I can have an environment where I can feel comfortable about myself doing this stuff.

 

[LePew]

Well, that is how jealousy works. Personally, I’m not above experiencing feelings of jealousy, welcome to being a flawed human, if you could call it that.

 

[ShippoFox]

I know the feeling too. It's also not limited to abdl stuff. It's a depressing feeling. I don't want to be jealous of others. I want to be happy and for them to be happy too! But I feel like they are often living the dreams my mixed up brain and near-zero social skills will never allow me to have.

 

[claire123]

Just remember everyone is always jealous of something, something different they wish they had that someone else has! But if we all had the same life would be boring!

 

[theancientmariner]

Some day, you'll look back on the day you posted this and smile. You'll one day have your own space. Just a simple apartment. That'll be good enough for you when the time comes. Every pack of diapers I've purchased? Came from my work, my suffering. You want the support they have? You're the one. Only you can make it a reality.

 

[ShippoFox]

If only it were so easy. I need to see a therapist sometime. someday. eventually. maybe.

 

[PaddedRita]

I do get a little jealous mostly when I see them awesome cute girly looking printed diapers that I can't afford at the time .

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Hiya, @Chatzoe ...I never realized you felt this way and I feel badly. If it helps, living this way in a bedroom isn't easy: everything remains in the bedroom, I can't wear around the rest of the place. And I must keep it very secret so that my hosts don't know...or even suspect. I can't even use baby powder.

What I live in is a bit of a blend of sanctuary...and prison cell. I had zero AB support in Boise and have zero AB support here. Hopefully we Boise AB/DLs can unite and change that.

I hope one day to have my own apartment and/or see if we Boiseans can gather at the home of someone who is also AB and is willing to host meetings. The circumstances for community meet-ups here aren't very optimal at all...but are better in Boise.

Yes, I have several nice AB things...but getting them in, enjoying them and disposing of them discreetly is a major challenge. All I can say is if you have a bedroom, that's a start...

Hopefully nobody is nosey about your mail or intrudes upon your room.

 

[lilbabyjooce]

I think it’s perfectly natural to feel jealousy/envy towards others in general, but especially within the community. Sometimes it seems so unfair as to why others can have something that you can only imagine in your wildest dreams. I think obviously it becomes unhealthy when it consumes you, but otherwise it’s totally okay and understandable why you’d feel this way.
I can say at the very least that it is extremely easy and often that we only see or hear or read the idealized version of things when we’re on the internet, though. This isn’t to say everyone on the internet is flat out lying, but even I have been guilty of leaving out additional details of things for the sake of simplicity, and I have a feeling that at the very least a lot of people do that too even if it’s not an attempt to be deceitful. I guess I would take what you see on the internet with a grain of salt, because more often than not it’s not the full picture.

 

[theancientmariner]

I guess I would take what you see on the internet with a grain of salt, because more often than not it’s not the full picture.

That's the sad truth about social media, especially Facebook. People post amazing moments of their life so everyone can see how fancy' they are, but nobody lives that way 24/7, unless you're filthy rich (which no one is), but there's so much to consume on FB, and that's one of the main reasons I don't use it anymore. All I see are people having amazing lives while I'm stuck doing my own thing, but I can't think like that. FB just makes me. So I only use it for messaging.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Here's my opinion about the world on Facebook...

​

 

[ShyBoo81]

You're perfectly valid for feeling jealous of other people, especially the part about wishing you had the environment and support to feel comfortable with yourself. We all get jealous of someone else at some point in our lives, and I think that is normal. I admit that I too am jealous of one particular member in this forum cause of her personality and success (but thats besides the point of why Im writing this)

If it helps, realize that everyone has something both positive and negative going on in their lives. Sure you might be jealous of someone cause of one postive trait they possess that you currently lack, but at the same time you might also posses another positive trait that someone else is jealous of you for. Everyone has their own unique set of pros and cons.

I think whats most important is to focus on improving yourself and working towards your desire. Dont fixate too much on comparing yourself to what others already have.

I currently dont have as much freedom to do whatever I want right now since I live with parents. But I am doing my best to aquire a job that will let me move out and give me personal freedom to live how I want to live. That includes indulging in ABDL goodies!

Whatever stage you're at in life right now, hope you eventually find the environment and support to enjoy ABDL comfortably. Good luck

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I've learned to not feel jealous about others...you never know the Swords of Damocles hovering above their heads.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

I only really get envious of things no amount of money or effort can ever attain. Like adults who are smol and look like they are 12 and fit into childrens shoes and clothes. Or actual children.

Anything else material I create a long term action plan to eventually eliminate that source of envy by greatly surpassing it by orders of magnitude with my own. That's pretty much been my life long M.O. since I grew up poor as a child. Now anyone who finds a weak spot and flexes on me maliciously only gets one opportunity in their lifetime to do so. After the first and only offense I make sure it can't ever happen again. Better make it good and enjoy it while it lasts!

But I can't make myself smol or cut my shoe size in half.

 

[KittyninjaW]

I know the feeling too. It's also not limited to abdl stuff. It's a depressing feeling. I don't want to be jealous of others. I want to be happy and for them to be happy too! But I feel like they are often living the dreams my mixed up brain and near-zero social skills will never allow me to have.

I've been there. And I agree but I try to think that someday it will be there for me, it just isn't yet. I keep praying though.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

I know the feeling too. It's also not limited to abdl stuff. It's a depressing feeling. I don't want to be jealous of others. I want to be happy and for them to be happy too! But I feel like they are often living the dreams my mixed up brain and near-zero social skills will never allow me to have.

It's impossible to be happy for others if all you're exposed to daily your entire life is competition and flexing and being put down by people bragging and you have never had an opportunity to achieve your own successes.

What's that saying you have to love yourself before you can love others?

(I still won't be happy for someone maliciously showing off, I'll just target them and make them look stupid in front of everyone.)

You gotta lock yourself up, stay away from people, stay away from social media, and keep your head down on school or career and hyper focus on yourself and what you want so you can come out on top. And most importantly when you get there stay humble at all costs and don't become what you hate.

Finally, f**k flex culture, especially social media inundating everyone in 24/7 negativity and epeen contests.

YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, pinterest, reddit, its all just 24/7 negativity and people flexing. They feign to innocently show you what's inside a box or how to build something like they are doing you a favor. But in reality they are humble flexing something rare, expensive or sold out that they bought, or showing off the million dollar shop behind them while making even more money while you sit there and watch and let them rub it in your face.

Super gross.

Keep clear. Delete that garbage. Do it now.

🗑

 

[LittleAndAlone]

I shouldn't get jealous when people show off their ABDL goodies and what not but for some reason I just do. I don't know it's because I don't have the environment that have nor the support that they receive.
But it's so frustrating dealing with that in the back of my mind every time I see stuff like it.

I just wish I can have an environment where I can feel comfortable about myself doing this stuff.

What's the main thing eating at you? Not being able to live alone? Not having a partner to share it with? What support and environment are your referring too?

On the material and consumerism side ABDL goodies are rather tame and attainable compared to a lot of other things people blow money on to show off. Diapers, onesies, pacifiers, stuffed animals, and some cute kids bed sheets aren't terribly expensive in the grand scheme of things. Don't get caught up in feeling like you have to have everything at once in a single purchase. Most of these things are from life long accumulation. Even a custom adult size crib, the holy grail, arguably one of if not THE most expensive and most hard core of ABDL expenditures, is still less than a high end top of the line PC build that will be obsolete and worth nothing in 6 months.

I also don't get the showing off vibe from the ABDL community. Most of the ABDL stuff I see comes from a place of genuine heart felt child like innocence and excitement because we are all little and happy on the inside. Someone expressing exuberance and wanting to share their $9 pacifier or their $40 Build a Bear just doesn't come across as bragging. Not in the way that someone, say, showing off $50,000 in LEGOs and fake acting all casual about it would.

 

[ShippoFox]

It's impossible to be happy for others if all you're exposed to daily your entire life is competition and flexing and being put down by people bragging and you have never had an opportunity to achieve your own successes.

What's that saying you have to love yourself before you can love others?

(I still won't be happy for someone maliciously showing off, I'll just target them and make them look stupid in front of everyone.)

You gotta lock yourself up, stay away from people, stay away from social media, and keep your head down on school or career and hyper focus on yourself and what you want so you can come out on top. And most importantly when you get there stay humble at all costs and don't become what you hate.

Finally, f**k flex culture, especially social media inundating everyone in 24/7 negativity and epeen contests.

YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, pinterest, reddit, its all just 24/7 negativity and people flexing. They feign to innocently show you what's inside a box or how to build something like they are doing you a favor. But in reality they are humble flexing something rare, expensive or sold out that they bought, or showing off the million dollar shop behind them while making even more money while you sit there and watch and let them rub it in your face.

Super gross.

Keep clear. Delete that garbage. Do it now.

🗑

I strongly agree with most of what you said. But that's not it. I'm not really that into social media in general. I just feel.... incompatible with society. I don't like the way the world works. I can't stand it. Everything is fake. (trying not to get political, so I won't go too in detail on this train of thought)

My social anxiety and social skills are terrible. I think it might actually be some kinda ptsd-like thing from bullying when I was younger.... everyone told me "just ignore them" and so I did, in a way, but I didn't stop feeling hurt. It wasn't controllable. then there are my unaddressed problems with my gender. and also, I was told that I could be autistic when I was little, but family declined to have me further evaluated for that, and I was only like six at the time, so I didn't know any better. And now... because of all the above (and more), I can barely talk to people without feeling mentally exhausted.

I need help from people IRL, but no one takes it seriously enough. and I worry about judgment from a therapist too. you never know what kind of therapist you'll get.

(don't worry, not at all suicidal, despite how depressed I get sometimes. I want to live, even if my life sucks )

 

[LittleAndAlone]

I strongly agree with most of what you said. But that's not it. I'm not really that into social media in general. I just feel.... incompatible with society. I don't like the way the world works. I can't stand it. Everything is fake. (trying not to get political, so I won't go too in detail on this train of thought)

My social anxiety and social skills are terrible. I think it might actually be some kinda ptsd-like thing from bullying when I was younger.... everyone told me "just ignore them" and so I did, in a way, but I didn't stop feeling hurt. It wasn't controllable. then there are my unaddressed problems with my gender. and also, I was told that I could be autistic when I was little, but family declined to have me further evaluated for that, and I was only like six at the time, so I didn't know any better. And now... because of all the above (and more), I can barely talk to people without feeling mentally exhausted.

I need help from people IRL, but no one takes it seriously enough. and I worry about judgment from a therapist too. you never know what kind of therapist you'll get.

(don't worry, not at all suicidal, despite how depressed I get sometimes. I want to live, even if my life sucks )

You know what? Just be you. Find people like you and be happy. F*** society. There's no need to fit in with any labels or categories.

I'll admit being a huge and always armed masculine guy makes it easier said then done to have that kind of confidence. And despite confidence I still keep discrete out of respect for boundaries. But still. Just do what you want and don't apologize for it. Everyone else is the stuck up wierdo always trying to please everyone else and fit molds.

Why do you feel you need social skills? Do you think it's keeping you from your goals in some way? Most normies in the real world are uninteresting and not really worth taking to. For exactly as you said, they are all fake. Or they think they know what's best for everyone else in the world when they themselves can't tie their own shoes without government assistance and suit and tie pancake faced 'experts' on TV telling them how.

Why care about them though? They are nobody. They aren't you.

I'm a anti social introvert myself. But every day is a new day. A year ago I wouldn't have revealed my little side to another soul let alone be seen in little gear by 1500 people but here I am no longer lurking. It seems to get easier when you find your crowd.

What do you need help with? I'm pretty big on people having access to the tools they need to be self reliant.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I'm an anti social introvert myself.

Antisocial??? But you're here. If you were antisocial, you'd be hacking this or another place...or blowing something up. You're not antisocial...you're asocial. And that's okay, most of us are...we just are able to let ourselves out here. We're all in good company here...right? It's how it should be.

Y'see...we're not entirely asocial...we just have a niche very few Muggles want to try and understand to any degree, and/or a neurodivergent situation, like autism. So we unite in that niche here. I don't see a better way of us coping out there; hell, until "Al Gore invented the internet", all of us were 100% alone...isolated. I sure was! So we have that much.