Having trouble letting myself love people.

[Gooberology]

I'm really unsure on how I should word this. I'm 21M, I've dated a handful of dudes over the years. I've typically fallen for really sociable guys who like to play around a lot. But every relationship I've been in, I've been the instigator, I'm the one who starts it, I'm the one who ends it. I've been burnt a few times by dudes who just stopped caring about the relationship but never want to end it. I ended a 3 year long relationship that way. I'd love someone will all my heart, but they'd always ignore things about me they didn't want to deal with. Like my problems or my little side.

I didn't date anyone for about 2 years, and last October i found another guy I was interested in, and we dated for about a month. He was very antisocial, and had a lot of his own problems, but he cared about me and listened. But he admitted to some terrible things, and they were things I couldn't look past. I felt uncomfortable all the time about our relationship unless we were hanging out together.

Since then, I've been grappling with just this general sense of fear and insecurity. I go back and forth between being love crazy, and being attracted to half the people I meet, and the other half being scared and repulsed by everyone, pointing out every little flaw. Its exhausting, it feels like I'm too scared to trust someone like that again. Like either I cant accept them for who they are, or they cant accept me for who I am.

I'm doing my best to try to work though it, but I have a lot of anxiety and self confidence issues. I'm just not sure what to do.