Having a hard time!

[Davvyboy]

Hello all,

The last few days, mainly since Valentines Day 2/14, I’ve been having a very rough run of things. For those that read my Introduction Post, you may be able to figure out why. I have been ABDL for as long as I can remember. I think I first realized it after a visit to a cousin’s home in Atlanta when I was 6 maybe 7 years old. I’m from St Simons Island, Georgia originally so Atlanta was amazing when I went at such a young age. My cousin, I guesstimate she was an older toddler at the time and still wearing diapers. I found myself watching her be changed and he mother noticed, and asked if I wanted to be diapered for bed too. Obviously I said yes. My mother didn’t care one way or the other. I ended up in diapers that whole visit. Ever since then I always found myself trying to find opportunities to be in diapers especially when I knew they were present. Through the years, I have been very fortunate to find a few partners that were willing to participate and even wear diapers themselves, as long as they got sex at some point. Eventually I met my now late wife and I will tell you I fell in love with her immediately. We dated for four years and during our dating we eventually had the kink/fetish/tendency discussion.
I was incredibly relieved when she actually verbalized her love of diapers and diapering. I pretended, at first to be a slight bit stand offish, but very quickly told her my story. We were madly in love with one and other before then, so this was just kind of like the icing on the cake. We were in our early twenties and diapered each other all of the time. And as hesitant as I was she got me to the point that I could wet or mess or both and she would change me. It was what she wanted. After fours years of dating, we were married on Valentines Day of 2009.
Following our marriage our diapering activities never changed in any way. She had 3 children from a previous marriage that I love and adore, as well as raised as my own, to this very day. In 2010, we became pregnant with our mutual daughter and she was born in December of that year. Just before and continuously after her birth, my wife insisted on breastfeeding me while diapered. The experience was amazing and drew us so much closer together and we were inseparable, or so I thought. Sadly my wife was injured in a car accident in 2013ish and her physicians kept shoving medications down her throat. Very sadly, she developed a dependency on opioid medications. She went to rehab and came off of them. Tragically, in October of 2019, she went to visit family in a southwestern state within very close proximity to the US/Mexico Border and gave in to her craving for an opioid. On October 6th, 2019 She died and I was notified by the county’s Medical Examiner’s Office. The past five and a half years have been exceptionally hard on me and our children. 3 days ago would have been our 15th Anniversary. In many ways, I am broken and I do realize I will never be truly the same.
I have found that in times of stress and anguish that I turn to diapers more and more. Maybe as a coping mechanism, but I’m not a Psychologist. But, since the relationship that she and I had, I absolutely yearn to relive it. Obviously it would have to be with somebody else. However after a 20+ year career as a ranking Firefighter/Paramedic that was forced to medically retire, and have slowly seen all of my friends move out of state or very far away from me. I have nobody to talk to, no local friends to confide in, and especially nobody that would even come close to understanding this side of my life.
In a nutshell, I’m very lonely. Though I am extremely far from naïve, and am highly educated and street-smart. The now “Modern Dating World”, is ridiculous. It reverts back to an old policy of mine after years and years of training and experience, “Trust No One”. This online dating nonsense if filled with liars, catfish, and straight up fakes. I’m at a point where I just don’t know what to do. All I would really like is some friends that share the ABDL interest and that even seems impossible due to some very unwarranted stigmas. It kind of feels hopeless and I am just not sure what to do, where to look, or how even to proceed. I surly didn’t mean to bog anybody down with my lengthy post, but I would sure some insight, advice, or anything else that comes my way.
Thanks all

Hiya Nick,
You will never be short of understanding friends on here

 

[Nick1029]

Hiya Nick,
You will never be short of understanding friends on here

Thank you so very much for that! It is terrible how alone I really do feel
Nick

 

[Davvyboy]

Thank you so very much for that! It is terrible how alone I really do feel
Nick

You have made the most difficult step.
There is a vast amount of wisdom on here and I have benefited enormously from the advice and friendship that has come my way.
Being ABDL in itself can be difficult.
It is not an everyday talking point but it is in this community.
Please don’t feel alone, you already have tons of mates that share the same ideologies

 

[Nick1029]

You have made the most difficult step.
There is a vast amount of wisdom on here and I have benefited enormously from the advice and friendship that has come my way.
Being ABDL in itself can be difficult.
It is not an everyday talking point but it is in this community.
Please don’t feel alone, you already have tons of mates that share the same ideologies

Again, thanks! That definitely means the world!

Nick

 

[DiaperedG]

@Nick1029 I am so very sorry! This post broke my heart and made me cry! I wish like hell I could help! I’m going through some heavy depression and struggles myself. I’m grieving a few losses as well. Idk if it’s that I’m just 28. But I feel useless for not being able to help others!

 

[warmpants]

There IS a group here in Metro Atlanta. It meets monthly and unfortunately just met yesterday. I have been going since 1996 when it began. It has sort of evolved into more of a littles munch (most bring their "bigs" or caregivers. But there are still a few of us DLs who go. I don't know really of any DL specific meet ups though. Of course there re people like me who have been at it a long time and just arrange individual meetings too.

Diaper Depot is the local store, but isn't an ABDL store by purpose. One of the former employees/daughter of owner got them started carrying a lot of ABDL stuff though and they still do. They are out on Memorial Drive out side of I-285.

Nice to meet you and it sounds a lot like both of us got started the same way. Look at the bottom of my message and you will see my personal web site which has been around for a couple of decades now.

Adam

 

[Nick1029]

@Nick1029 I am so very sorry! This post broke my heart and made me cry! I wish like hell I could help! I’m going through some heavy depression and struggles myself. I’m grieving a few losses as well. Idk if it’s that I’m just 28. But I feel useless for not being able to help others!

Thank you for your post; however, please don’t feel useless. Unfortunately things in life happen that we have no control over. But just realize that you always have something to offer others. Whether it be your personality, sense of humor, abdl, etc. Age really has nothing to do with it. If I can help you in any way. Please do hesitate to let me know. There is no need to suffer in silence!

@Nick1029 I am so very sorry! This post broke my heart and made me cry! I wish like hell I could help! I’m going through some heavy depression and struggles myself. I’m grieving a few losses as well. Idk if it’s that I’m just 28. But I feel useless for not being able to help others!

@Nick1029 I am so very sorry! This post broke my heart and made me cry! I wish like hell I could help! I’m going through some heavy depression and struggles myself. I’m grieving a few losses as well. Idk if it’s that I’m just 28. But I feel useless for not being able to help others!

 

[Wonderingabout]

Hi Nick, so sorry for your loss. But it sounds like you and you late wife had an blessed life together. As a newbie to the site and fellow North Atlantan, just wanted to say there are some folks fairly close by who do share some of your interests.

 

[Nick1029]

Thank you so very much! We had an amazing marriage and she was an extraordinary woman and partner. I am slowly beginning to see that there are some folks fairly close to me. Thanks again.

Nick