- Messages
- 92
- Age
- 25
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Diaper Lover
- Babyfur
- Sissy
- Little
I’m already 24 years old and it’s hard for me to see beauty in myself. I prefer to see ugliness and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't imagine myself as an adult baby anymore, it will looks ridiculous. I spend most of my time at work, I have practically no personal life. My job is the only thing I can hold on to, I am very lucky with it and I have no room for error. Social phobia prevents me from being self-confident and seeking acquaintances, making me a hostage to my current job.
My parents left me nothing but debts, and my homeland wants me dead for my views, so I live as an immigrant in a foreign country. Therefore, I am in constant stress due to possible threats of dismissal, deportation, murder, and stress puts a lot of pressure on my health. Stress spoils my skin, hair, metabolism, I feel like I’m getting old, and it also negatively affects excess weight.
I weigh 133 kg, this is a lot, I know that I should to do some sports, but I often don’t have the time and energy for this, moreover, due to the same social phobia, I won’t be able to do it in front of anyone, so the gym is on my black list of places .
As a result of all this, every day I do nothing but suffer in a depressive infernal existential hell, with delayed life syndrome, dreaming that someday everything will change and I will be happy. I spend all my strength and all my time to achieve resources on the way to this goal, but everything always turns into tantalum torment.
I never ask for help, because I was raised to be strong, this mental cage in which I live is woven from particles of parental programming. I realize that we live in a cruel and terrible world where every day someone dies and that my life is not more valuable than theirs. Psychologists don’t know how to help me, because the roots of my problems are real and it’s very difficult to get rid of them.
I have many reasons to blame myself, somewhere I made the wrong choice and suffered, somewhere I made the right one and also suffered. Therefore, I always believe that I do not deserve anyone’s help; I take the blame not only for all the decisions I have made, but also for the causes and consequences of these decisions. Although the root causes of these decisions were never up to me. It is very difficult for me to love myself when you hate yourself for the path that led you to hopelessness, even realizing that it was probably the best path available.
Therefore, the practice of adult baby is the only way I can console my pain, the only way I can temporarily feel safe, not think about the bad, not think about what will happen tomorrow. I dream one day that I will have the opportunity to free my mind from all this, I feel cared for, loved and understood. But this sounds just like dreams of a happy life in the future, for which I suffer.
My parents left me nothing but debts, and my homeland wants me dead for my views, so I live as an immigrant in a foreign country. Therefore, I am in constant stress due to possible threats of dismissal, deportation, murder, and stress puts a lot of pressure on my health. Stress spoils my skin, hair, metabolism, I feel like I’m getting old, and it also negatively affects excess weight.
I weigh 133 kg, this is a lot, I know that I should to do some sports, but I often don’t have the time and energy for this, moreover, due to the same social phobia, I won’t be able to do it in front of anyone, so the gym is on my black list of places .
As a result of all this, every day I do nothing but suffer in a depressive infernal existential hell, with delayed life syndrome, dreaming that someday everything will change and I will be happy. I spend all my strength and all my time to achieve resources on the way to this goal, but everything always turns into tantalum torment.
I never ask for help, because I was raised to be strong, this mental cage in which I live is woven from particles of parental programming. I realize that we live in a cruel and terrible world where every day someone dies and that my life is not more valuable than theirs. Psychologists don’t know how to help me, because the roots of my problems are real and it’s very difficult to get rid of them.
I have many reasons to blame myself, somewhere I made the wrong choice and suffered, somewhere I made the right one and also suffered. Therefore, I always believe that I do not deserve anyone’s help; I take the blame not only for all the decisions I have made, but also for the causes and consequences of these decisions. Although the root causes of these decisions were never up to me. It is very difficult for me to love myself when you hate yourself for the path that led you to hopelessness, even realizing that it was probably the best path available.
Therefore, the practice of adult baby is the only way I can console my pain, the only way I can temporarily feel safe, not think about the bad, not think about what will happen tomorrow. I dream one day that I will have the opportunity to free my mind from all this, I feel cared for, loved and understood. But this sounds just like dreams of a happy life in the future, for which I suffer.
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