Girls

[CutestPaddedFemboy]

I am a male. But I will NEVER be a man. And I thank God every second of my existence for that.

I'm like that, I could never do manly things because I'm just not one. I don't look masculine, I'm pretty quiet and shy, I'm really skinny, and I like being cute. All things that are the opposite of Man. I'm happy the way I am. I'm happy I'm quiet, that I like being cute, I'm happy being me.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I'm like that, I could never do manly things because I'm just not one. I don't look masculine, I'm pretty quiet and shy, I'm really skinny, and I like being cute. All things that are the opposite of Man. I'm happy the way I am. I'm happy I'm quiet, that I like being cute, I'm happy being me.

Well...I do things: I can work on engines, I can do woodwork, I can cook, clean, change diapers. Some may ascribe manliness to the first two and femininity to the rest...which is sad. I see all tasks as gender-neutral: they don't define me but I define them with my completion of them...especially done well. What angers me is when I show up as I do, attack the job and complete it: at the end, I'm told "you don't seem like the engine-rebuilding/woodworking/flooring type"...meaning I'm not a bulging 6-foot-1 meat-sack "with five pounds of red meat up his arse" who takes two beer-breaks and loafs around between phases of the job.

I mean, I do stuff efficiently, and do it well. But many people still see me as second-class by virtue of appearance. Seemingness. It gets disheartening sometimes, but it doesn't last very long.

I love seeing non-meatsack men, agender-esque people and any woman do what a John Wayne worshipper can do. And better. That's one of the things which renews my faith in the human race. This is not a world of men...this is a world of humanity...and I love seeing macho, imposing, testosterone-worshipping, narrow-focus men cringe under it. If someone wants to bristle hair & sweat in worship of manhood and pile-drive a brick wall with their head until they die after that wall moves 1/8 an inch, power to them. Someone will take their place, indoctrinated & misguided as they are, and continue the job. Just don't force it on me while I swing this wreckin' ball.

Thankfully, the definition of a 'man' per Boondock Saints: All Saints' Day is not only dead...it never existed to begin with. Illusion is a terrible thing to endure.

Humanity > Gender.​

 

[gobphus]

Hullo, I'm a girl!

I'm still kind of new here and a bit shy/awkward but I'm pretty open to talk with anyone I don't have any friends that are into abdl but I would like to one day!




Female littles/adult babies definitely exist and are much more common outside of specifically abdl sites. I might be newer to this site but I have been in the littlespace scene for about 5/6 years - Before finding Adisc and other abdl specific sites I actually thought little/baby boys were the rare ones, lol.

I feel like allot of abdl content is pretty male dominated and sexual or physical pleasure focused, instead of exploring the innocent and cute side of things. As a women this is pretty intimidating and does discourage me from participating as much as I'd want to. I'm very hesitant to give my opinion or experience on something that I think will bring about unwanted attention or even endanger my safety. I think most women are probably hyper aware of what they say and how it can be used against them... and it absolutely sucks that we have to be.

For a lot of people little space/abdl/age regression is about safety and vulnerability so it can be very mentally damaging to have that safe place invaded by unsafe people. I think the amount of harassment women face makes them think twice about engaging and possibly traumatizing their little self, especially when this is already a coping mechanism for some. I think women are especially vulnerable to this type of negative attention online and keeping their distance is for safety. From my observations, many women prefer to exist in completely unsexual spaces like agere or more female dominated areas like ddlg even if abdl is closer to what they would actually identify with.

This site is much better than most, but reading post after post online of abdl men talking about women like their not human beings and just objects to act out their fantasies ... we are real people who are worth more than our diapers or our willingness to change them for others.

okay sorry, little rant over.

Thanks for posting this! You clearly fit well with the emphasis at ADISC on the whole person, not just on their diapers. It's obviously a good idea to get to know someone first before suggesting anything sexual. Your post indicates that you get into little space as a safe place, a place to be innocent. Another post of yours indicates that you're in an exclusive relationship, so that's a stronger indication to avoid sexual banter. Your profile says you're a little, but not all littles are asexual, so checking the Little box when registering here is not enough for a woman -- or a man -- to ward off unwanted advances. There are two places in one's profile to put explanations and warnings. Introductory posts can get lost in the flood of new posts, so it's good to use one's profile to set boundaries. That's my thinking on this topic, anyway.

 

[AlwaysDreaming]

Thanks for posting this! You clearly fit well with the emphasis at ADISC on the whole person, not just on their diapers. It's obviously a good idea to get to know someone first before suggesting anything sexual. Your post indicates that you get into little space as a safe place, a place to be innocent. Another post of yours indicates that you're in an exclusive relationship, so that's a stronger indication to avoid sexual banter. Your profile says you're a little, but not all littles are asexual, so checking the Little box when registering here is not enough for a woman -- or a man -- to ward off unwanted advances. There are two places in one's profile to put explanations and warnings. Introductory posts can get lost in the flood of new posts, so it's good to use one's profile to set boundaries. That's my thinking on this topic, anyway.

Hey Gobphus! I agree with you, my original post was speaking more broadly than my own experience and I was more so describing what I've come across as a whole in this community and not directed specifically at ADISC. I haven't had any bad interactions here so far! The point of my post was to give a women's perspective looking in on this and similar communities. If I feel it necessary, I will definitely add disclaimers to my profile but it hasn't been needed here yet.

However, i'm not sure I like the thought of anyone having to "ward off" advances. After all this isn't a dating site. I am in a relationship, but I'm very open to talking to new people and I don't take it badly or hold it against someone if we are talking and they simply asks me a question or for consent to initiate more than just talking - That gives me the opportunity to say "no" and for us to move on. Not giving people the option to consent is where the issue lies, and the people who do this will rarely heed to profile warnings.

Also, I personally am not asexual in the slightest and ABDL is not unsexual for me. That does not mean I am okay with me or my content being sexualized however. Like, It's perfectly fine to post sexual content, just keep it in it's designated area and don't harass or sexualize un-consenting strangers Sadly, we just can't trust most people to understand what "consent" is and that just because someone hasn't said "NO" doesn't mean it's a "yes".... Sorry I went a bit off track with my ramblings. This isn't directed at you, I'm just talking.

Thank you for the concern and feedback I'm doing just fine here and not having any issues so far.



Sorry again for another ramble

 

[gobphus]

Hey Gobphus! I agree with you, my original post was speaking more broadly than my own experience and I was more so describing what I've come across as a whole in this community and not directed specifically at ADISC. I haven't had any bad interactions here so far! The point of my post was to give a women's perspective looking in on this and similar communities. If I feel it necessary, I will definitely add disclaimers to my profile but it hasn't been needed here yet.

However, i'm not sure I like the thought of anyone having to "ward off" advances. After all this isn't a dating site. I am in a relationship, but I'm very open to talking to new people and I don't take it badly or hold it against someone if we are talking and they simply asks me a question or for consent to initiate more than just talking - That gives me the opportunity to say "no" and for us to move on. Not giving people the option to consent is where the issue lies, and the people who do this will rarely heed to profile warnings.

Also, I personally am not asexual in the slightest and ABDL is not unsexual for me. That does not mean I am okay with me or my content being sexualized however. Like, It's perfectly fine to post sexual content, just keep it in it's designated area and don't harass or sexualize un-consenting strangers Sadly, we just can't trust most people to understand what "consent" is and that just because someone hasn't said "NO" doesn't mean it's a "yes".... Sorry I went a bit off track with my ramblings. This isn't directed at you, I'm just talking.

Thank you for the concern and feedback I'm doing just fine here and not having any issues so far.



Sorry again for another ramble

Thanks for another thoughtful message! Thanks for taking the time to explain your thinking clearly. You make some good points, especially about consent. It's absolutely important not to inflict one's own interests or desires on someone else without their consent. However, even asking someone for consent may seem too aggressive to that person. You seem more able than such a person to say "no" without feeling that you shouldn't have been put on the spot by the request for consent. Kudos to you! In general it seems safer not to engage people here in ways that require consent, since "it's not a dating site."

 

[tango79]

An interesting and respectful thread. I'll add some thoughts but they may be unpopular. I am a realist and mine are thought from a male perspective, so... I think that there are a few problems that are at crossroads and society in general has not yet figured out how to best deal with them in any sort of modern context. It seems to me that although range of adaptation is very wide, it is hard to get away from biologically built in tendencies. In very broad, general terms, males are expected to pursue, or at least make the first move. This is more than a societal construct as it is very consistent across most cultures. If the attempt is clumsy or unwelcome, it triggers a disgust response or "ick" in the female. This is made worse by a few extra factors specific to this community. First, most littles (both genders) are looking for a care taker and not another baby to compete with. In many cases just being a little or sissy is enough to elicit an "ick", at best it may be completely what neither party wants. I also think that many modern trends are not equipping males (and possibly females) with the tools needed to handle this interaction or the patience and maturity to realize when friendship is the only outcome.

I am not trying to disparage anyone. Just pointing out that online is a very difficult place to actually meet a romantic partner for so many reasons and that the best route is to actually stop trying and just enjoy the community. From a Male perspective, when you stop trying and just grab the wheel of life and go is usually when life will through you a curve ball and you'll meet someone. The hard part is to remain grounded and make good decisions. You may meet your life partner and then a whole new set of skills need to be learned and fast. But you may also meet a person with a lot of baggage that will knock you down.

I used to naively be jealous of girls who were into wearing diapers in any way. I used to always think how easy it would be for them to find a partner in an area so dominated by men. I have long since realized that they are often also looking for a rare caring caregiver while acutely aware of how dangerous the world can be (something many men aren't as aware of). They are here to share their experiences and ask for support just like any of us. They are just as afraid of rejection and face the same stigmas as any of us.

Just my thoughts on the complexity of the issues. Hopefully it was helpful to someone.

 

[Anemone]

This is more than a societal construct as it is very consistent across most cultures.

I'm sorry but this is a completely spurious argument.

Yes patriarchy is extremely widespread but that doesn't support it being biologically innate.

If anything the historical trend towards homogeneity evidences that the opposite is true.

I'm not trying to split hairs or start an argument over nothing but this really is a profoundly dangerous mistake.

 

[tango79]

How is an observation a profoundly dangerous mistake. Like I said, I am a realist. Observing mating behavior across cultures suggests that it is a mating preference that could be innate to all humans in a GENERAL sense. I make no claim to it's value or use over all. Just that it is the observation of what is. Recognizing it as a fact and dealing with the GENERAL reality can help both men and women find common ground. Only by understanding behavior and recognizing what is the reality can we even begin to assign value and consider things that should or should not change.

I try very hard (especially here) to not assign value judgements and consider all parties motivations in an interaction. In general, most people aren't out to hurt others. Often mistakes in understanding and communication are a major culprit between men and women (in general) and then there are all of the variations in between and a thousand different individual factors that make up an individual human being. Clear concise communication and sometimes compassion on both side of the exchange being discussed here could help some of those exchanges turn out better for both parties. I recognize that this is not always the case and some creeps will always be creeps. But if even 1/3 of negative exchanges could be helped then that is a huge boost for everyone. More women might feel welcome and confident taking part in the community and more men might become more considerate.

Again, just my not always popular thoughts.

 

[Lily12345]

Hi just messaging I am a girl, and it is really nice to talk through those that had similar childhoods. Although I enjoy talking to anyone with a similar mindset on here

 

[Anemone]

How is an observation a profoundly dangerous mistake.

An observation based on bad data is mistake, one which supports systems of oppression is profoundly dangerous.

You are not an anthropologist or evolutionary psychologist etc so it is no slight against you to have bad data upon which to make your observation but it is faulty.

There have been two major developments in gender politics in this regard: agriculture and modernity. Neither have a biological basis, nor have they had a relevant biological antecedent.

I will agree that people generally try to be decent, but that doesn't mean that there are not blindspots in their conduct which can cause great harm.

In the present example it is easy to conflate natural with either inevitable or proper: to understand the commodifisation of women and girls as "the natural order of things"; "what always has been and always will be"; or "just the way things are".

These are clearly bad attitudes, which can be held by otherwise good people, and to offer them support on the basis of a certain reading of a very narrow sample is dangerous.

People die because of decent people not understanding their situations and biases; it is profoundly dangerous.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I brought Pop-Tarts, double-fudge, warm... *that oughtta dispel any tension*

 

[Stephlau2000]

Any other girls that would be open to chatting? I miss having a friend to talk about little space with

Hi Teddy
I’m a special girl who has been struggling with my identity and gender for the past 36 years as I want to be a girl all this time
Steph.

 

[tango79]

An observation based on bad data is mistake

I would love to see any updated research on this. I will admit that I found a few studies that indicate gender role rigidity in first date scripts are slightly changing in western countries over the last 30 years but it is only slight.

There have been two major developments in gender politics in this regard: agriculture and modernity. Neither have a biological basis, nor have they had a relevant biological antecedent.

If you could elaborate with a brief summary, I am genuinely interested in understanding what you are postulating here. Likely needless to say but gender politics was not part of my studies.

In the present example it is easy to conflate natural with either inevitable or proper: to understand the commodifisation of women and girls as "the natural order of things"; "what always has been and always will be"; or "just the way things are".

I did not assign the value judgement of proper to any behavior here. I also did not conflate natural with proper or any of the other statements you quoted. But if there is a possibility that it is a natural part of mate choice, how do you propose to change it? If male initiation is part of female mate choice and all men stopped initiating, what would that do to women? What will that do to men?

I think we are starting to see some evidence on that front and hard questions need to be carefully considered.

I appreciate the academic discussion and exchange of ideas. I am trying my best to remain open minded and apolitical. But as you pointed out all people have some level of bias. I am not immune. My goal is not to provoke argument but to provoke thought and consideration. If I walk to close to a line, please let me know and I will cease and respect any boundary either set by you or policy on this site.

And I thank you in advance for your consideration and thoughtful response.

 

[Anemone]

I would love to see any updated research on this. I will admit that I found a few studies that indicate gender role rigidity in first date scripts are slightly changing in western countries over the last 30 years but it is only slight.

Gender roles are changing but, contrary to popular belief, they have always been in a state of flux. First dates are a very recent phenomenon however, for most of history courtship hasn't been concerned with such an idea.

If you could elaborate with a brief summary, I am genuinely interested in understanding what you are postulating here. Likely needless to say but gender politics was not part of my studies.

Agriculture created wealth and wealth created the potential for commodities. Prior to this there could be no commoditisation of either sex as the concept could not exist. Surplus also created the capacity for specialisation, which allowed for a bellicose class to rise to ascendancy, more or less globally over the last seven millennia or so.

Modernity gave rise to Capitalism; colonialism; and nationalism: lionising individualism and exploitation. Colonialism has been responsible for tremendous cultural vandalism, it is easy to presume that the cultural expression which exists today is reflective of what was present before the modern day but it cannot be so. The selective pressure of European hegemony has decimated incompatible cultures and promoted those malleable to this ascendant force. The homogeneity observed today is not a natural state but the scar of violences past.

The idea of pursuing a match is a new one born of this individualistic and entrepreneurial spirit. The majority of matches through history - and still a great many today - were made by third parties out of convenience. Man-chase-woman may appear commonplace today but for the vast majority of even western history man-marry-cousin has been the expected standard. One does not pursue one's relations, they're just sort of there.

I did not assign the value judgement of proper to any behavior here. I also did not conflate natural with proper or any of the other statements you quoted. But if there is a possibility that it is a natural part of mate choice, how do you propose to change it? If male initiation is part of female mate choice and all men stopped initiating, what would that do to women? What will that do to men?

It is a common thing to confuse apparrent with natural with right. This is why it is dangerous.

Something being natural, or not, is only relevant if one ascribes a value to it.
In this case you are presuming a Darwinian utility. To lose a utility would be adverse and so to keep it is advantageous. Natural selection has provided a model which works and this is good, no?

But this is a value judgment.

Risky if provably the natural order of things but positively reckless where assumptions of this scale are concerned.

(I know I've not addressed the hypothetical questions, I can give it a go but I'm not sure it will add much.)

I think we are starting to see some evidence on that front and hard questions need to be carefully considered.

I'm not sure exactly what you are pointing to here? Possibly the reducing fecundity in developed economies? That's a very different conversation to have if so.

I appreciate the academic discussion and exchange of ideas. I am trying my best to remain open minded and apolitical. But as you pointed out all people have some level of bias. I am not immune. My goal is not to provoke argument but to provoke thought and consideration. If I walk to close to a line, please let me know and I will cease and respect any boundary either set by you or policy on this site.

Very civilised! I am likewise minded, albeit with my own attitudes and biases to the fore...

And I thank you in advance for your consideration and thoughtful response.

I hope my offerings prove worthy of such gratitude.

 

[tango79]

Thought provoking and dense enough that each area could merit it's own conversation just to even find common ground or at least understanding on the background topics alone.

Gender roles are changing but, contrary to popular belief, they have always been in a state of flux. First dates are a very recent phenomenon however, for most of history courtship hasn't been concerned with such an idea.

Agriculture created wealth and wealth created the potential for commodities. Prior to this there could be no commoditisation of either sex as the concept could not exist. Surplus also created the capacity for specialisation, which allowed for a bellicose class to rise to ascendancy, more or less globally over the last seven millennia or so.

Modernity gave rise to Capitalism; colonialism; and nationalism: lionising individualism and exploitation. Colonialism has been responsible for tremendous cultural vandalism, it is easy to presume that the cultural expression which exists today is reflective of what was present before the modern day but it cannot be so. The selective pressure of European hegemony has decimated incompatible cultures and promoted those malleable to this ascendant force. The homogeneity observed today is not a natural state but the scar of violences past.

The idea of pursuing a match is a new one born of this individualistic and entrepreneurial spirit. The majority of matches through history - and still a great many today - were made by third parties out of convenience. Man-chase-woman may appear commonplace today but for the vast majority of even western history man-marry-cousin has been the expected standard. One does not pursue one's relations, they're just sort of there.

I can absolutely agree that gender roles can be dynamic and change over time. But that begs more questions than it answers. What are the conditions for a shift in roles, how long is the timeline for both a physical and social adaptation to take place, what are the adaptations that already or still exist to this more basic choice structure that you point out, and more importantly to the conversation is it something we can or should control. And if we could control it, are we even remotely smart enough to actually understand the scale of the consequences. This is of course the counterpoint argument to some of your comments below so I do understand and respect that we are viewing the same historical events through very different lenses and concepts.

To the point of the historical influence of the agriculture and modernity inflection points (of course they are not a single point globally) I would argue that all 5 consequences that you list; wealth, commodities, colonialism, nationalism (allow me to reduce it to tribalism) and even capitalism (in a very basic form admittedly) all exist in nature in various mammal species. In various forms they are all concepts used to study animal behavior in all manner of social mammals. That is not to say that those events didn't change the reward benefit equation for any of the listed traits or behaviors. But to say that farming created the commoditization of sex is to forget to stand on your farm and watch the horses. Again a very different origin point and it is very possible I am misunderstanding the contextual usage of some of the words.

It is a common thing to confuse apparrent with natural with right. This is why it is dangerous.

Something being natural, or not, is only relevant if one ascribes a value to it.
In this case you are presuming a Darwinian utility. To lose a utility would be adverse and so to keep it is advantageous. Natural selection has provided a model which works and this is good, no?

But this is a value judgment.

Risky if provably the natural order of things but positively reckless where assumptions of this scale are concerned.

(I know I've not addressed the hypothetical questions, I can give it a go but I'm not sure it will add much.)

Valid points but the alternative is just as risky, possibly more so as I mentioned above. Plus there is the question of practicality of how you would change the flow of both social and physical evolution. Every attempt in history to do this on a grand scale has met with terrifying failure. That leaves me with the practical which is to accept what is and learn to navigate it. That isn't without it's own dangers and flaws but that's where communication and sharing ideas might be of some use.

I'm not sure exactly what you are pointing to here? Possibly the reducing fecundity in developed economies? That's a very different conversation to have if so.

Yes that and a lot of other startling statistic that are out there like suicide rates among adult males, the recent spike in teenage suicide among females, the number of men hitting the age of 30 as virgins going from 8% to 27% in less than a decade, the reduction of security and purchasing power among youth. There are others but you get the point. These are all of the practical questions we need to think about short term. Something is going very wrong and it is destroying the general well being of both men and women at a break neck pace.

That got dense very fast. I don't know if any of it warrants a response as I've mostly added questions and not answers. We could leave it there or continue in another thread and end our hijack.

Yes your responses merited gratitude. The art of honest discourse seems to be another modern casualty. People seem to be afraid to agree to disagree anymore. I consider a deep conversation a success if either I have learned something new (which I have) or I walk away with another way to consider a problem or issue. Life would be boring and stagnant if I could just convince you to see the world my way.

 

[MikeDJ]

I do wish this lifestyle of ABDL was more balanced as far as meeting others of opposite gender. Its a great forum for striking up friendships with male gender members. Ive been DL for a long time and always thought it would be cool to have a like minded partner but years back learned early on it was a male dominated lifestyle essentially. I found many females in this lifestyle were essentially more for role playing interests like mommies or caregivers. It was of course also gonna cost you to experience it. I couldnt afford that as much of a fantasy it could be. So it was years dating vanilla partners hoping to maybe get them into it. Ive read on here how some struck gold getting a partner who was into ABDL but was still far and few between reading so many others stories on here. If it was more balanced it would be easier than having a partnership where its one sided, or secretive trying to tiptoe around not getting caught then having to hear the speech from my partner saying "You were not honest with me and if you were hiding this ABDL thing what else are you hiding? In my case my wife knows of the diapers but wants nothing to do with them. She was strictly "diapers are for babies only". So I was ledt hoping the fetish would go away but realize it really wont ever and that ok but thers sometimes that deep fantasy where it would be good to share the ABDL lifestyle with an opposite partner. So it would again be easier if the lifestyle was more balanced.......So back to topic....... I hope you find more girls to talk about little stuff with. They are out there . Theres many on here that will comment from time to time.

 

[Anemone]

Thought provoking and dense enough that each area could merit it's own conversation just to even find common ground or at least understanding on the background topics alone.

The downside of this format is that all attempts at brevity fall by the wayside!

I can absolutely agree that gender roles can be dynamic and change over time. But that begs more questions than it answers. What are the conditions for a shift in roles, how long is the timeline for both a physical and social adaptation to take place, what are the adaptations that already or still exist to this more basic choice structure that you point out, and more importantly to the conversation is it something we can or should control. And if we could control it, are we even remotely smart enough to actually understand the scale of the consequences. This is of course the counterpoint argument to some of your comments below so I do understand and respect that we are viewing the same historical events through very different lenses and concepts.

Gender, being a social construct, changes its expression at roughly the same rate and in response to the same inputs as the society from which it is formed.

For example over the course of about a decade with the support of a fairly major disruption women went from working in gendered jobs, to dominating much of heavy industry, to being expected to do primarily informal domestic labour. Obviously not everyone has the same experience but the rate of change of expectation can be profound.

To the point of the historical influence of the agriculture and modernity inflection points (of course they are not a single point globally) I would argue that all 5 consequences that you list; wealth, commodities, colonialism, nationalism (allow me to reduce it to tribalism) and even capitalism (in a very basic form admittedly) all exist in nature in various mammal species. In various forms they are all concepts used to study animal behavior in all manner of social mammals. That is not to say that those events didn't change the reward benefit equation for any of the listed traits or behaviors. But to say that farming created the commoditization of sex is to forget to stand on your farm and watch the horses. Again a very different origin point and it is very possible I am misunderstanding the contextual usage of some of the words.

Watching a horse (or goat more likely) is far, far easier than catching one - plenty of time to focus on not hunting-gathering and a goat is a much better store of wealth than rapidly deteriorating goat meat, not least as agricultural products are self perpetuating.

No other animal has developed a concept or capacity for wealth, it is a consequence of agricultural surplus. None of what I have raised is analogous to territorialism or familiarity which do exist variously in the animal world. The sex displays of certain birds might make for a better comparison but theirs is a display of ease of subsistence, no peacock exchanges any plumes for a hen.

Valid points but the alternative is just as risky, possibly more so as I mentioned above. Plus there is the question of practicality of how you would change the flow of both social and physical evolution. Every attempt in history to do this on a grand scale has met with terrifying failure. That leaves me with the practical which is to accept what is and learn to navigate it. That isn't without it's own dangers and flaws but that's where communication and sharing ideas might be of some use.

Asserting that something is natural is an example of trying to control selection pressures.

Universal suffrage is doing quite well as a case study for grand scale change without terrifying failure thus far.

We must not accept what is, if what is is injust. This naturally creates tensions and fault lines, inviting violent redress.

This is why bottom-up change is so much more sustainable, a top down approach tends to incentivise the changer to maintain power dynamics. One can only paper over the cracks in society so many times before the structural integrity is spent.

Yes that and a lot of other startling statistic that are out there like suicide rates among adult males, the recent spike in teenage suicide among females, the number of men hitting the age of 30 as virgins going from 8% to 27% in less than a decade, the reduction of security and purchasing power among youth. There are others but you get the point. These are all of the practical questions we need to think about short term. Something is going very wrong and it is destroying the general well being of both men and women at a break neck pace.

A great many things are going wrong in our world but most are beyond the scope of our already broadening discussion.

Personally I blame the circumstances of 1945-65 for the majority, if not all, of these but that is a discussion for another time.

That got dense very fast. I don't know if any of it warrants a response as I've mostly added questions and not answers. We could leave it there or continue in another thread and end our hijack.

I'll happily keep going but I am, in all fairness, a rather strange person...

Yes your responses merited gratitude. The art of honest discourse seems to be another modern casualty. People seem to be afraid to agree to disagree anymore. I consider a deep conversation a success if either I have learned something new (which I have) or I walk away with another way to consider a problem or issue. Life would be boring and stagnant if I could just convince you to see the world my way.

I am not sure dissent has ever been widely accepted, I think we are probably just becoming more aware of the problem and so seeing it more. Though there probably is a new system of tribalism organising itself in response to new technologies. In any case you are most very welcome, it has been stimulating for me too!

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

@MikeDJ : this is indeed a tough row to hoe. For me, after decades of social isolation due the quirkiness of my autism as well as the diapers plus the baby things, after one failed marriage, after watching family support crumble...it occurred to me that the best thing in my instance was to just carry on. To take care of me. What I got down the road was support from my few old friends (they know), meeting new friends (they don't know)...and ADISC. All of you here. Living this life is like floating in space...but at least there's a lifeline attached to the mother ship.

The other thing, in my instance, that helps as far as relationships go: if I can't get "the girl of my dreams" then I'll be the girl of my dreams. I know no single one thing won't work for everybody...but it's one of many options to help cope. Just my .00000042 Bitcoin.

 

[CutestPaddedFemboy]

now whilst I know that most trans people are really nice, I don't like the ones that broadcast the fact they are trans. Like, if a man kept saying "I'm a man, Look at how masculine and strong I look. I'm really tough. I got an absolutely massive...." You would feel a bit off put by it, right? A lot of people here are abdl and when we here a news story about one of our kind showing themselves of in public, we don't like it. so I'm just kind of trying to point that out. You can hate me all you want now.

If this is the wrong thread for it then I can delete it

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

now whilst I know that most trans people are really nice, I don't like the ones that broadcast the fact they are trans. Like, if a man kept saying "I'm a man, Look at how masculine and strong I look. I'm really tough. I got an absolutely massive...." You would feel a bit off put by it, right? A lot of people here are abdl and when we here a news story about one of our kind showing themselves of in public, we don't like it. so I'm just kind of trying to point that out. You can hate me all you want now.

If this is the wrong thread for it then I can delete it

It's one thing to express...it's another to assert, to posture. When a person expresses, they either use words or gestures non-invasively to show their uniqueness; beyond that and it's a matter of trying to dominate, intimidate with their features, to brag them up as a "bigger is better" thing, a major insecurity...like overcompensation (like the saying "big wing, small thing" or a Facebook club I once saw called "Nice Truck, Sorry About Your Tiny..."). Those are people who live macho like a god is jealously & vengefully watching them...or who think they're gods themselves.

But it's not a male-only disease: some women get it it, too. People like that tend to call themselves so-called "influencers" but being that a cesspool by any other name would reek just as bad, they are, in real life, bullies and thugs. They know no higher way. Everybody wants to rule the world; they need to learn to rule themselves and their sub-70 IQs first.