First time you questioned your gender?

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All this gender bender talk confuses me. Don't understand why I eoppe just can't be happy with who they are. Woman or man.
 
CrinklesTheBunny said:
All this gender bender talk confuses me. Don't understand why I eoppe just can't be happy with who they are. Woman or man.
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This is a really ignorant comment - but I suppose you know that already. The fact that you personally don't understand why somebody would feel uncomfortable with their assigned gender doesn't mean that isn't an experience plenty of people have - or that their feelings aren't valid. Even if you completely can't grok other people's gender identities, the cool thing to do would be to step back and accept other people live different lives than you. This is a nice thread for people who /have/ and /do/ question their assigned gender - you are contributing nothing to the discussion, just posting inflammatory, asinine remarks that serve literally 0 purpose.

I'd politely suggest that if you are so secure in your masculinity and identity as a man, and all you have to add to conversations between trans and gender variant people is 'All this gender bender talk confuses me', that maybe this isn't the sort of thread you should be taking part in. Not that people can't learn from others with different experiences - because of course we can, and it's good to listen! - but you seem to have no interest in listening at all, just telling people that they're wrong.
 
So how exactly was my comment inflammatory and asinine? Your comment to me was very rude and sharp-edged. I didn't say anyone was wrong. That's how you took it CharliePup. Just because I state that I don't understand stuff and say I think people should be happy with who they are is not inflammatory nor asinine. Seriously, learn to decipher and analyze what I'm saying before you fly off the handle at me. I personally think you owe me an apology.
 
I identify as "whatever pronoun you wanna use I'm down with". I have friends that call me Sir and friends that call me Ellie. I don't care either way.

When I was a kid I didn't really think much on gender besides the fact that my brothers (and most of the community) in my area considered women weaker and less-than. That drove me to only play female characters in video games for a LONG time, telling myself over and over and over again that they were wrong. And they were and still are.

I'm only struggling with the 1950's vibe going on around me, everything else is cool beans.
 
Ever since i was a little kid, my sister would always dress me up and i totally pulled it off to, you couldn't tell the difference. Anyways i guess i've always felt female, i always felt trapped in a boy's body, i didn't even know there was something i could do to change that, until a few years ago i found about what transgender means, i knew about transsexuals, but transgender. Since then i've come out to friends and family and have been on hormones for about a year now!
 
I've got a question. What is difference between transexual and transgender? Are the different or are interchangeable terms?
 
That's still a bit confusing to me. Is there maybe a simpler way to explain it?
 
CrinklesTheBunny said:
That's still a bit confusing to me. Is there maybe a simpler way to explain it?
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Transsexual is a person who "wants" to be female and a person who is transgender feels that they are female, it's like having a girl brain and a boy body!
 
But it doesn't necessarily have to be a male wanting to be female, does it? Can it be female wanting to be male too?
 
Yes being transgender means you identify as the opposite gender than you were assigned at birth and transsexual means you just desire to be of the opposite gender!
 
I've been on a slight genderfluid kick for the last year or so. Probably developing from identifying as female the few times I regress very deeply during play. I think even if I was assigned female at birth I would have been very tom-boyish. I still pretty much identify as cis-male though in play growing up I was always in the middle. Disliked by the girls and too much of a weakly nerd for the boys. Not being one to put undo importance on things I've probably always bounced between genderless myself, and male as a reflection of the activities I would be doing or the people I was around. One of the perks of a Buddhist household is growing up being ok with questions that don't have answers and general uncertainty. If it's terribly important the answer will come in time.
 
I never really questioned my gender but I do often think about how life would be different if I were a girl. If I could I would like to be a girl for a week or two to see how different life would be.
I was scolded for dressing up in my sisters clothes when I was younger and I was so embarrassed when I got caught. Even though I now buy my own clothes and don't wear my sisters or my moms clothes anymore, I am the one my parents go to if any of their clothes are out of place or go missing. The last time it happened my mom misplaced some clothing she had and she was convinced that I had something to do with it until she found it.
 
KittyninjaW said:
I don't know, I'm just glad I have an outlet to talk about this stuff. (BTW, Sorry that I rambled, its you know there wasn't really one time there were several, but still, I don't really want to change genders, but still, I do want to be a little girl sometimes....)
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Thank you for sharing your story with us! I'm glad you have an outlet for this kind of thing as well. The point of the thread was to express the first time in your life you questioned your gender, you don't still have to be questioning. So don't worry about rambling, we appreciate your story.

CrinklesTheBunny said:
I'm straight. In fact, I'm getting married in less than 8 weeks. Can't wait.
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Sexuality has nothing to do with gender, other then the fact that one's gender defines the terminology of their sexuality. In that, I am a woman. I might have a penis, but I am a woman. So I'm a lesbian if I love other women exclusively, straight if I love men exclusively. The same way a man would be gay, wether or not he had a vagina or a penis.

CrinklesTheBunny said:
All this gender bender talk confuses me. Don't understand why I eoppe just can't be happy with who they are. Woman or man.
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It is absolutely okay to be confused. What is not okay to assume that just because you are confused that we should not be able to be our true gender. So please do not say anything like this again. I am happy to help ease any confusion, but it's rude to expect others to suffer in silence because you might be a little confused for a moment.

Shado said:
Transsexual is a person who "wants" to be female and a person who is transgender feels that they are female, it's like having a girl brain and a boy body!
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Know this was a well-intended comment. I know what you were saying. But please avoid saying this again. This way of talking about the transsexual experience is more harmful then it's worth. That implies that right now, I "want" to be a female.. but am not one. it implies that I am a man who wants to be female.

I'm a woman and my body is too. Because it's a body owned by a woman. Yes, I desire a transition to the more socially understood body of female, and that desire is rooted in my transsexuality.. but I am not a male who wants to be female.
 
gigglemuffinz said:
Thank you for sharing your story with us! I'm glad you have an outlet for this kind of thing as well. The point of the thread was to express the first time in your life you questioned your gender, you don't still have to be questioning. So don't worry about rambling, we appreciate your story.



Sexuality has nothing to do with gender, other then the fact that one's gender defines the terminology of their sexuality. In that, I am a woman. I might have a penis, but I am a woman. So I'm a lesbian if I love other women exclusively, straight if I love men exclusively. The same way a man would be gay, wether or not he had a vagina or a penis.



It is absolutely okay to be confused. What is not okay to assume that just because you are confused that we should not be able to be our true gender. So please do not say anything like this again. I am happy to help ease any confusion, but it's rude to expect others to suffer in silence because you might be a little confused for a moment.



Know this was a well-intended comment. I know what you were saying. But please avoid saying this again. This way of talking about the transsexual experience is more harmful then it's worth. That implies that right now, I "want" to be a female.. but am not one. it implies that I am a man who wants to be female.

I'm a woman and my body is too. Because it's a body owned by a woman. Yes, I desire a transition to the more socially understood body of female, and that desire is rooted in my transsexuality.. but I am not a male who wants to be female.
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If you're a woman with a penis, that makes you part male.
 
CrinklesTheBunny said:
If you're a woman with a penis, that makes you part male.
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Well.. yes and no. What it does cause me issues because I have a part that many people will use to force me into being male against my will, against my reality. A typical male identifier, a part that people use to categorize and judge a person before they know anything else. The talent that human beings have for categorizing people quickly is a useful technique.. but a harmful one. The penis I have does not make me male, but I currently live in a world that to many people.. their own desire to force everyone into boxes overrides that.I indeed must live in this world for the time being.. as do we all.
 
The penis is developed because of hormones chromosomes during pregnancy. So you just sit in between a male and female. Do you also have testicles?
 
CrinklesTheBunny said:
The penis is developed because of hormones chromosomes during pregnancy. So you just sit in between a male and female. Do you also have testicles?
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This is the thing..

What's in my pants is my business. The body that I have is.. upsetting to me because of the society we live in. It doesn't define who I am, or who anyone IS. What genitals I have are the business of me, my doctor for heath concerns obviously, and my sexual partner. That's as far as that goes.

You are sitting here making efforts to define my gender by my gentials, a very harmful practice that doesn't help anyone. What my body is biologically matters, but in the end it really only should matter to ME. I should be allowed to be uncomfortable with it, comfortable with it, and alter it however I see fit. But I shouldn't be defined by it.

Of course, none of this will matter when I say that I have testicles. It'll be the part you respond to.
 
There's just some things you have to learn to accept that are fact. Just like me. I'm Black and I'm visually impaired. Two facts of life that I can't change. Just like you can't help that you're part male. That's biologically fact. The male sex organ is the penis. So by having a penis it makes you part male physically. Now mentally and emotionally you are female. You seem to have an agenda of thinking people are trying to assign you. If I met you in person and you actually told me you had a penis, I would not try to assign you a gender. You have to understand where some people are coming from, before you start making assumptions to what they are trying to say or do. If you are so self conscious about having male parts, why did you even state that you had a penis?
 
CrinklesTheBunny said:
There's just some things you have to learn to accept that are fact. Just like me. I'm Black and I'm visually. Two facts of life that I can't change. Just like you can't help that you're part male. That's biologically fact. The male sex organ is the penis. So by having a penis it makes you part male physically. Now mentally and emotionally you are female. You seem to have an agenda of thinking people are trying to assign you. If I met you in person and you actually told me you had a penis, I would not try to assign you a gender. You have to understand where some people are coming from, before you start making assumptions to what they are trying to say or do.
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The thing is, I've accepted that I have a penis.

.. I'm confused what you're expecting me to accept otherwise.
 
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