Feeling or not feeling. Noticing or not noticing.

[greatlake5]

My partner (still fairly new) asks IC questions. I think some of them are because she's curious and other times it's legitimately medical concerns. Either way I try to answer
her questions clearly and direct.

Last weekend she asked if I can feel me wetting (or messing). I told her when I'm sleeping I obviously don't feel anything. Then she asked me if I can feel it during the day.
I answered that I always feel it. Both. She then asked if I ever try to hold it. That was easy. I used to hold it when I was a kid but as I got older (I'm in my early 30's) I don't.
Mostly because the urgency can sometimes be painful. I did tell her that if I'm out with her or around others, I try to hold a BM as long as I can. Sometimes I might have a few minutes and sometimes not.

She asked if anyone ever noticed and I said I'm pretty good at disguising it. Of course sometimes I can't. She said that occasionally she'll notice when I have a panic look but never smells anything (half win - I explained about how internal deodorants work). Noticing has always been a part anxiety and sometimes fear. But I think most long-time IC people became mental attitude-adjusted.

My question for you is : do you feel anything? Or do you notice with others noticing when an accident happens?

 

[Deleted member 69135]

I always notice liquid accidents, but the need to pee feeling can progress to Im going now in a few seconds.

When I change I will often find some evidence of a slight bowel leak without having felt anything.

 

[Edgewater]

Only liquid IC.
Overnight and as a deep sleeper, no! Only realization is when I wake-up to a soggy diaper.
During the day, only when I feel the wetness swell the diaper.
May she keep asking questions as it helps greatly to fully understand your IC condition.
Warning: Much that is out there is based around AB/DL and that is very different from the IC experience.

 

[CrossfireHurricane]

My question for you is : do you feel anything? Or do you notice with others noticing when an accident happen?

I'm IC and have been since the beginning. The question - do you feel anything? Yes. At least when I'm awake. About of my fecal IC accidents, they're about half of the time during the day (early morning). As for holding a bowel movement, when I was a bit younger I tried to hold it. As you might expect, rarely does that work. For myself I have no more than 3 to 5 minutes. Not enough time to use a bathroom. Wetting is about the same thing. Now days I just let things go. I don't think I could live without protection.

For other people noticing an accident, I can't know for certain. At least as an adult. Obviously when I was younger, I think other kids, my family or teachers knew after I had an accident. Now that I'm older most people don't say anything. If they notice at all. I rarely have daytime BM accidents. But I think most IC people feel the same anxiety you mentioned. I do use Nullo too. But I still experience uneasiness.

I don't have a girlfriend. It does seem like you have a very understanding girl. Be thankful.

 

[slimjiminy]

My question for you is : do you feel anything? Or do you notice with others noticing when an accident happens?

Mine is mostly U-IC and to a lesser extent, F-IC before I figured out what foods to avoid. For U-IC during the day, if I keep ahead of my bladder by voiding before it gets too full, then I remain in control. On good days I retire my day diaper dry. But if I am away from home or I stay too long on the couch at night when I am tired, my sphincter will start to tingle and by then it's usually too late. I do feel that - sometimes it happens slow and at other times it is sudden. When it is slow enough, I can make it to the toilet.

F-IC is scarier for me and so far only happens with diarrhea. Like any BM, I can feel it coming on, but the frightening part is that I cannot fully shut it down, like I used to. It is a strange sensation to feel your bowels involuntarily pumping to get it out while at the same time I'm clenching in an attempt to hold it back. Eventually I weaken and it wins to my own disgust. I can usually retain control as long as I don't take long or normal strides. Without making it obvious, I have walked out of a store using "baby steps" across the parking lot to the car. Once I get seated in the car, it usually settles down. But then the challenge is to get from the car to the toilet when I get home. More often than not, that battle has been lost. Now that we're in an apartment, this will be a greater challenge because I have a longer path up the elevator to get to the toilet.

So far, I have been able to avoid a public F-IC incident, aside from clenching in baby steps. That was probably noticeably weird but I felt it was better than publicly "losing it" and knowing that I had to drive home. At home where the accidents have happened, my wife has not noticed anything oddly enough. I usually have to explain why I am distressed.

 

[KrankyPants]

When I had my last back flare up and was wearing pullups around everyone, I was asked if "everything is okay" by my mother. I told her I was just "thinking" when in reality I was frustrated that it was time to change and I was not in control. I felt it when I stood up and felt clammy on my butt.

EDIT: The only times when I don't notice are when I have a flare up in my lower back and dribble constantly or, of course, when I am sleeping. I wet the bed and besides interesting or wild dreams, I never really notice until I wake up.

 

[Pino]

I have got IBS as well, but only lost control with Oxybutynin, at the moment i am only urine incontinent (neurogenic DO).

I get a lot of pain and really painful urgency when the bladder reaches it maximum (300ml today), additionally i have got pain during urination in the beginning at the bladder neck, but when this initial start is over i can not tell anymore, only at the warm feeling at best.
Trying to hold will be like getting a knife stabbed down there.

When my back was really bad hurting in October last year, i lost every feeling for urination and bladder feeling for about 10 days, that was strange, so i was completely incontinent, the sensation came back though.

 

[CheshireCat]

I can sense peeing when initiated by a bladder spasm, as there is volume.
I cannot sense anything whatsoever when I'm dribbling; I do sense the swelling of a disposable diaper over time, but I'm clueless when wearing cloth and just need to keep a check on saturation.

Because of radiation induced chronic colitis and now IBS-Mixed, I cannot sense needing to defecate anymore.
I recognize a certain gut pain that means I have barely time to get to the toilet before I will lose control.
There are times I have no gut pain and just mess myself without sensing anything; that's the worst.
I cannot tell the difference between gut pain from stool and gas, so I need a toilet to pass gas now to avoid messing myself.

 

[hbic60]

U-IC with a combined dribble and urge incontinence. If I'm dribbling (which is not constant every day ro any time but completely random) I don't feel anything of this happening. I f I'd have only this dribble IC, I could easily go with 2 or 3 light pads through the day. But additionally I have also my urge IC with several hits every day/night. Fortunately this isn't combined with any kind of pain or spasms (as long as I don't try too hard to hold back for too many minutes - sometimes (but more rarely) the urge then goes away, mostly this leads to a full void). So I feel the urge coming, and either I'm near a bathroom and can release in the toilet or if not I release in my diaper - and of course I have full feeling of myself peeing and the feeling how it flows in my diaper and how it's saturating. I've got used to this and so no-one else will ever be able to notice that I'm doing this. Fortunately I don't have any issues with my BM part, this happens quite constant once a day every morning in the toilet.

 

[greatlake5]

May she keep asking questions as it helps greatly to fully understand your IC condition.
Warning: Much that is out there is based around AB/DL and that is very different from the IC experience.

We haven't discussed ABDL. Only IC conditions. If she knows about ABDL, she hasn't said anything about it.

 

[Cammer]

I feel very little to nothing in my bladder and how full it is, the only feeling I have is when I’m peeing, I can feel it at the tip of my penis when it’s a heavy flow and the warmth. I have noticed I may sometimes feel pressure if my bladder is really full but there is nothing I can do about that because trying to force it doesn’t do anything

 

[PaddedRita]

Don't feel left out about all them incontinence questions, She pretty much ask the same ones also !
I don't feel anything at all until diaper begins to start swelling after some time of wearing ! No feeling at all at night until morning .

 

[enthusi]

I have severe/total mixed urinary incontinence. I have some dribbling which I don’t really notice. Most of the time I feel nothing… nothing… nothing… BAM!10/10urgetopeeimmediatelyfollowedbyreflexpeeing… nothing… nothing… nothing.

It’s pretty wild because I can literally have no sensation of needing to pee one second and then empty a good 120-200ml the next.

Though even then there’s a lot of variability. Usually I am conscious or semi-conscious that I’m peeing. But when I’m in the zone I don’t even notice I’m wet until I check my diaper. And other times I feel a low grade bladder pressure but I can’t do anything about it until it surges and drains.

Nights are.also a mixed bag. 5/7 nights I’ll wake up in the AM soaked. The other times I wake up and pee, or wake up peeing. Once in a blue moon I will wake up in the am dry with an over-full bladder.

Bodies are weird.

 

[schooner]

I have chronic, severe OAB with urge incontinence, and I almost always feel when my bladder starts to contract and then I wet. At night, about a third of the time I do not wake up when I'm wetting my diaper

 

[Deleted member 39574]

I only feel like I have to pee several seconds before I start to go and sometimes I don't even realize I'm wetting until my bladder is half empty.

 

[jessraven]

At night I don’t feel a thing unless I wake myself up wetting ...which happens sometimes!! does that happen for y’all Who wet at night?. When that’s happening you’d think being mostly awake at that point the pee would stop but it doesn’t! . During the day I get pressure, no urge, then I feel myself peeing, or sometimes I get sudden intense urges and then if it becomes unbearable enough I leak or gush. So I feel all of it ...but I just get none to little warning. If I have a Bm accident (fortunately rare for me) I always feel a pressure but I don’t have any feeling when I try to “hold it” I just sort of feel it slipping out. It’s always jarring even after several years of having this.

 

[BenTennyson]

So in my profile I checked OAB, that has resolved itself over time so it was either some nutritional irritant, infection or psychological (which I suspect due to my history), so technically I dont belong in this subforum anymore.

However recently, while I have full control, I noticed that I start losing the sensation of urine moving through my urethta on the... last few centimetres. I dont like the implications of that.