Makena43, for your one question, depends are now back to plastic and so far the only stores other then online that carry them are Rite Aid drug stores.
For your other one I am left at a loss, I don't understand why you feel that you are harming people? if you are discreet then no one will know, I have been in diapers for most of my adult life and have never had a reaction from other people that would in anyway hurt them, most people don't care, they have there own things to deal with, some people may be confused but then usually go on with what they are doing in the first place, there are about 1 out of 10 people that have some form of IC so as long as your not doing anything inappropriate you are not harming anyone.
Sure it took me some time for it to set in and for a while I saw a psychiatrist and I was given similar advise as others have said in this thread, I do have some IC but I also wear for wellbeing, I would not feel that I am not being honest with my self if I tried to suppress this side of myself, it would cause me todo harm to my self.
This does not harm other people unless your worried about a carbon foot print but that can be offset by just leaving a few lights in the house off when they don't need to be on.
please see the advice from others here, we have been in your boat so to speak,
(then learned to paddle that boat, then add on a turbocharged engine and blasted past every one else because it can be fun)