Embarrassed to wear to work

[FeekaDimension]

When I’m alone in private, I love wearing thick diapers. They make me feel safe and comfortable. I don’t wear often but on the occasions that I do, I like to intentionally wet.

But, over the last five years, I have developed muscle spasm problems in my groin which sometimes cause immediate, sudden urges to use the restroom, and I usually end up wetting myself a fair amount because I only have about five seconds to reach the restroom before the floodgates crack open. I also wet myself considerably when I sneeze, laugh, or cough with a half-full bladder. I don’t believe this has anything to do with the diapers since I’ve had similar issues since childhood, but because they’ve become much worse I think I may need to start wearing discreet diapers (Depends) while I’m out. (I have light bowel leaks as well due to IBS and frequent diarrhea.)

This is really depressing me, especially since my mom believes that I “didn’t have these problems before you started using those adult diapers.” I most certainly did have them - brought it up once with her when I was eight years old and she gave me a horrified look and said “You’re too young for that! I didn’t have leaks until after having four children!” The expression on her face scared me so badly that I just kept quiet about my leaks until recently when they became severe. To this day she says it’s an “old person problem” that I shouldn’t be having.

This is really bothering me because I don’t want my diaper accidentally being exposed while in public and I really don’t want to deal with the comments from my mom about how I “ruined my body”. What do I do here?

 

[Petya217]

When I’m alone in private, I love wearing thick diapers. They make me feel safe and comfortable. I don’t wear often but on the occasions that I do, I like to intentionally wet.

But, over the last five years, I have developed muscle spasm problems in my groin which sometimes cause immediate, sudden urges to use the restroom, and I usually end up wetting myself a fair amount because I only have about five seconds to reach the restroom before the floodgates crack open. I also wet myself considerably when I sneeze, laugh, or cough with a half-full bladder. I don’t believe this has anything to do with the diapers since I’ve had similar issues since childhood, but because they’ve become much worse I think I may need to start wearing discreet diapers (Depends) while I’m out. (I have light bowel leaks as well due to IBS and frequent diarrhea.)

This is really depressing me, especially since my mom believes that I “didn’t have these problems before you started using those adult diapers.” I most certainly did have them - brought it up once with her when I was eight years old and she gave me a horrified look and said “You’re too young for that! I didn’t have leaks until after having four children!” The expression on her face scared me so badly that I just kept quiet about my leaks until recently when they became severe. To this day she says it’s an “old person problem” that I shouldn’t be having.

This is really bothering me because I don’t want my diaper accidentally being exposed while in public and I really don’t want to deal with the comments from my mom about how I “ruined my body”. What do I do here?

First: talk to a doctor. It may be possible with some pelvic floor exercises or kegels you can handle your issues. And even if not, it is good to be checked out so that you make sure it is not something very serious.
Also, with an actual doctor's note you might have a better position during discussion with your mom.
Wearing diapers will not cause unintentional leaks. It might get you to the habit of wetting without thinking over a loooong time, but but unintentional ones. Even in that case, you can control yourself if you concentrate. Your mom should need some education on this topic. You could find some materials to share with her through the web.

 

[Rob110]

Unfortunately Incontinence issues can start at any age young or old, have you discussed your issue with your doctor and have you seen an urologist if not its a good idea to do so. Wearing diapers 24/7 does get easier over time once you accept your need and you start to realize no one really notices unless you wear tight pants and a short top.

A onesie really helps to keep your diaper inplace and to stop your diaper being exposed when you bend or stretch, Ive been wesring 24/7 for an OAB and only 2 people have noticed but that was due to me having to go grab my back pack from the car before heading to the washroom.

Wearing diapers will not make you incontinent but will help excelerate any control loss you already have if you start to simply use your diaper when you feel the need to pee thats why urologists don't recommend diapers unless theres no other choice. Fore me I chose diapers over the meds as theres no bad side effects.

Hope you see an urologist to get a proper diagnoses, if you do have a medical need for diapers and get a proscription it may make it easier to talk to your parents about your need for protection remember its your choice if you want meds or diapers to deal with your bladder issue.

 

[PCBaby]

you need to see your docotr, regardless of the cause you need to get a proper diagnosis and then see what the treatment options are.

 

[Paddy2020]

When I’m alone in private, I love wearing thick diapers. They make me feel safe and comfortable. I don’t wear often but on the occasions that I do, I like to intentionally wet.

But, over the last five years, I have developed muscle spasm problems in my groin which sometimes cause immediate, sudden urges to use the restroom, and I usually end up wetting myself a fair amount because I only have about five seconds to reach the restroom before the floodgates crack open. I also wet myself considerably when I sneeze, laugh, or cough with a half-full bladder. I don’t believe this has anything to do with the diapers since I’ve had similar issues since childhood, but because they’ve become much worse I think I may need to start wearing discreet diapers (Depends) while I’m out. (I have light bowel leaks as well due to IBS and frequent diarrhea.)

This is really depressing me, especially since my mom believes that I “didn’t have these problems before you started using those adult diapers.” I most certainly did have them - brought it up once with her when I was eight years old and she gave me a horrified look and said “You’re too young for that! I didn’t have leaks until after having four children!” The expression on her face scared me so badly that I just kept quiet about my leaks until recently when they became severe. To this day she says it’s an “old person problem” that I shouldn’t be having.

This is really bothering me because I don’t want my diaper accidentally being exposed while in public and I really don’t want to deal with the comments from my mom about how I “ruined my body”. What do I do here?

I wouldn't worry about what your mother says. She is not you. My mother and father were like that too when I told them about my problems when I was younger. I finally figured out that I have my life to live and I am a person with problems whether they be considered "old" person's problems or not. The fact is, the problems are there and they're affecting my life. As far as wearing a diaper, I wear one all the time because I have to. I wear clothes that are just a bit larger and don't tuck my shirts in. If anyone notices or says anything I just smile and tell them I have a medical problem. Most people are understanding. There are a few jackasses out there. But just look at them for what they are and walk away. You have to take care of you.

 

[FeekaDimension]

you need to see your docotr, regardless of the cause you need to get a proper diagnosis and then see what the treatment options are.

I have already seen a doctor about this. He gave me medicine that could help, but I’m afraid to try it because most medicines make me exhausted and I already have trouble staying awake with the meds I’m currently on.

As for kegels/exercises, I was told a few years back that simply trying to hold it in would strengthen my muscles. But I’ve since found out it’s not the muscles that are the problem, but spasms that I can’t control. If I don’t have the spasms I can hold my bladder for over four hours.

 

[PCBaby]

you need to start taking the meds. the other option may be to discuss botox injections with your doctor.

 

[NonbiriNeoguri]

Your mom sounds pretty mean to you based off what you've said, at least in regards to incontinence. Whether or not this is an old person problem doesn't stop you from having it.

Taking your medication is a good place to start, and doing kegels can help. Definitely try to mitigate this problem with exercises and medication before giving up on that route.

For discretion, I recommend finding a cloth-backed diaper as they're much quieter: I tried Depends briefs before but they were plastic-backed, horribly loud, and uncomfortable. Wearing looser and longer clothes will help keep it hidden, and one thing you can do to make sure is put on a potential outfit with a diaper on and look at yourself in the mirror from different angles to see if it's visible. I have a fairly noticeable imprint because my work pants are really tight, but no one has ever pointed it out to me. And, if anyone does point it out, it may make you feel bad but they would be the one in the wrong for bringing attention to an embarrassing medical issue. Also, try pull-ups! They tend to have less of an imprint than diapers and are usually more quiet, though it helps to have a private bathroom around to change yourself in.

 

[nwm]

you need to start taking the meds. the other option may be to discuss botox injections with your doctor.

I'll go with be careful - but I had some meds a while back too - only helped VERY marginally (not worth it) and caused LOTS of other problems.
SO it ended up not a question - I told that guy keeps your meds, they do help much and break other things - no trade offs! (That was for retention, NOT IC - IC I know is a nerve issue - but even just retention, if it's not eliminated, I see it as not good enough, and even if it did, but breaks something else, forget it.)
And I do have plenty others, for other things, I have no issue with because even though some it does not work as well as I hoped - they do not mess with ANYTHING else (that is noticeable anyway).
But for the retention - I did try a bunch - they all cased other problems, and didn't help much, so forget it.

 

[PCBaby]

I'll go with be careful - but I had some meds a while back too - only helped VERY marginally (not worth it) and caused LOTS of other problems.
SO it ended up not a question - I told that guy keeps your meds, they do help much and break other things - no trade offs! (That was for retention, NOT IC - IC I know is a nerve issue - but even just retention, if it's not eliminated, I see it as not good enough, and even if it did, but breaks something else, forget it.)
And I do have plenty others, for other things, I have no issue with because even though some it does not work as well as I hoped - they do not mess with ANYTHING else (that is noticeable anyway).
But for the retention - I did try a bunch - they all cased other problems, and didn't help much, so forget it.

Don't assume that the OP's ,eds are the same as yours or that they will cause side effects. If their Dr has prescribed them, they need to start them and try them.

Never, ever tell someone to forget it based on your experience.

 

[nwm]

Don't assume that the OP's ,eds are the same as yours or that they will cause side effects. If their Dr has prescribed them, they need to start them and try them.

Never, ever tell someone to forget it based on your experience.

True - not every thing effects everyone the same way.
But after that incident, unless it's something I DO already know about myself - I research to TOUGHLY BEFORE I do. (reguardless of what it's for) - Because they do seem to have a bad habit (That was NOT the first time for me, just the worst) of not telling you much of anything bad that could happen. And in that case even - appearently one of them (forget what one now, it's been years) could have been dangerous to stop suddenly (like I did), didn't know that either at the time, just that I HATED what it did after a short time, but by then there was already a build up of it (part of the problem).
So not so much don't try as it is look in to it yourself first - what you find is stuff they never seem to mention.

 

[FeekaDimension]

True - not every thing effects everyone the same way.
But after that incident, unless it's something I DO already know about myself - I research to TOUGHLY BEFORE I do. (reguardless of what it's for) - Because they do seem to have a bad habit (That was NOT the first time for me, just the worst) of not telling you much of anything bad that could happen. And in that case even - appearently one of them (forget what one now, it's been years) could have been dangerous to stop suddenly (like I did), didn't know that either at the time, just that I HATED what it did after a short time, but by then there was already a build up of it (part of the problem).
So not so much don't try as it is look in to it yourself first - what you find is stuff they never seem to mention.

As someone with mental illness I’m aware of how awful side effects can get. Most mood stabilizers give me a rare side effect called a dystonic reaction, where the muscles in my mouth freeze in a certain way. When this happens I can’t talk and my gag reflex is pressed down, causing me to projectile vomit. That’s why I asked my Dr today about possible side effects. Sounds like what this medicine is prone to do is raise blood pressure - as someone with naturally low blood pressure this is a low risk situation. I am going to start the meds on Monday and see how they make me feel. In the meantime I will pick up some incontinence underwear to catch the leaks I do have.

 

[nwm]

That’s why I asked my Dr today about possible side effects. Sounds like what this medicine is prone to do is raise blood pressure - as someone with naturally low blood pressure this is a low risk situation. I am going to start the meds on Monday and see how they make me feel. In the meantime I will pick up some incontinence underwear to catch the leaks I do have.

Yes, if rising BP is the biggest issue - I would go for an attempt too. (Coincidentally my BP runs a little low as well, sometimes even with stuff that is suppose to raise it.).