Do I have a Title? Do I need one?

[larikaz]

I'm just trying to get a few thoughts on 'paper' and the rest of you are welcome to read/comment, etc.
I've recently started asking myself whether I'm an AB, a DL, a Babyfur, Diaperfur, or some combination of everything. The way I've heard it defined, AB's like to regress. I don't really do that. I have an adult pacifier. I resold them on eBay for a while, and still have one from those days. I've heard that DL's have a s*xual relationship with their diapers. I'm not going to get too far into that. Suffice it to say, I may fall in the category of fetish.
I spent a few years in the furry community, but I've left it behind since getting married. I still somewhat identify as a scaly, so there's that.
I also have multiple personalities, so perhaps each and every one of these labels applies to a different part of me. Right now I'm trying to find the right balance, and perhaps part of that is acknowledging who all the players are and how to identify them.
I have a AB part.
I have a DL part.
I have a Scaly part.
I have a Babyfur part.
I have other parts who don't care whether they wear diapers or not.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I'm just trying to get a few thoughts on 'paper' and the rest of you are welcome to read/comment, etc.
I've recently started asking myself whether I'm an AB, a DL, a Babyfur, Diaperfur, or some combination of everything. The way I've heard it defined, AB's like to regress. I don't really do that. I have an adult pacifier. I resold them on eBay for a while, and still have one from those days. I've heard that DL's have a s*xual relationship with their diapers. I'm not going to get too far into that. Suffice it to say, I may fall in the category of fetish.
I spent a few years in the furry community, but I've left it behind since getting married. I still somewhat identify as a scaly, so there's that.
I also have multiple personalities, so perhaps each and every one of these labels applies to a different part of me. Right now I'm trying to find the right balance, and perhaps part of that is acknowledging who all the players are and how to identify them.
I have a AB part.
I have a DL part.
I have a Scaly part.
I have a Babyfur part.
I have other parts who don't care whether they wear diapers or not.

I'm still finding myself! It's a crazy and with a positive attitude, a really fun journey! I NEED lables, they help me 'tune in' to myself.. yes DL is indeed sexual.. I was DL for a VERY long time... my lables on this site is ABDL because I started DL and progressed into AB . I don't really do either now , but I still very comptfortably sit in the ABDL lable.. as I have been on this site I have developed a strong love/connection with other members here and this has helped me grow as a person.. I can see my flaws on this site (I have loads!) But I have been in turn loved , tolerated and forgiven here... it's a great place to explore yourself, if you, like me need a lable or two , then go for it! No one is going to judge you here and if you want to change later - great! As long as you are happy and feel confident, just do it! I want all of us to grow and be happier in our short but amazing lives! Best wishes to you on your journey

 

[Rakvirsza]

Labels are hard to find sometimes. I'm a little bit of an odd case in the community and ultimately the roles I put on my profile were more meant to be parts of the community I'd most associate with. Like, I put myself as a DL, a lot of people seem to consider that strictly a fetish which isn't the case for me but "I dunno, I just kinda like diapers and always have" didn't really have a separate label that I could find. I'd say "I love diapers" in the same way I'd say "I love video games" so I figure at least it's accurate by a literal definition.

I like cute, childish things, and I have a lot of childish mannerisms, so I put little as well because I felt I'd associate with that side of the community well enough, but most littles seem to actually mentally regress which I've never done or even been able to do. I'm still always the same age mentally, the closest I get is "Okay, I'm alone now so I can stop trying to act like a mature adult," but the adult side of my brain is always still running, just like the kid side of my brain is always running when I'm doing adult things. Once again though, that didn't really have a dedicated label so I opted for things that'd give people a general idea of my interests at a quick profile glance, instead of just being Other and nothing else.

For actual true labels to describe myself as though, I don't really have perfect ones and don't really feel like that's been an issue. Maybe some better ones will come along in the future, but for now I just know I do fit somewhere into the broader ABDL community and I've found that's enough. Just does mean a little extra typing on occasion if I need to explain myself in more detail.

It seemed like you have a few labels picked out already, I don't think anything is stopping you from just being all of those if you feel like they all describe you well. You mentioned multiple personalities as well, sometimes that can take different forms so I'm not entirely sure of your situation specifically, but I know sometimes that can mean multiple distinct individuals sharing a brain in a sense, and would probably make more sense to have them each have their own labels if that's the case.

 

[Woncrinklz]

Labels are hard to find sometimes. I'm a little bit of an odd case in the community and ultimately the roles I put on my profile were more meant to be parts of the community I'd most associate with. Like, I put myself as a DL, a lot of people seem to consider that strictly a fetish which isn't the case for me but "I dunno, I just kinda like diapers and always have" didn't really have a separate label that I could find. I'd say "I love diapers" in the same way I'd say "I love video games" so I figure at least it's accurate by a literal definition.

I like cute, childish things, and I have a lot of childish mannerisms, so I put little as well because I felt I'd associate with that side of the community well enough, but most littles seem to actually mentally regress which I've never done or even been able to do. I'm still always the same age mentally, the closest I get is "Okay, I'm alone now so I can stop trying to act like a mature adult," but the adult side of my brain is always still running, just like the kid side of my brain is always running when I'm doing adult things. Once again though, that didn't really have a dedicated label so I opted for things that'd give people a general idea of my interests at a quick profile glance, instead of just being Other and nothing else.

For actual true labels to describe myself as though, I don't really have perfect ones and don't really feel like that's been an issue. Maybe some better ones will come along in the future, but for now I just know I do fit somewhere into the broader ABDL community and I've found that's enough. Just does mean a little extra typing on occasion if I need to explain myself in more detail.

It seemed like you have a few labels picked out already, I don't think anything is stopping you from just being all of those if you feel like they all describe you well. You mentioned multiple personalities as well, sometimes that can take different forms so I'm not entirely sure of your situation specifically, but I know sometimes that can mean multiple distinct individuals sharing a brain in a sense, and would probably make more sense to have them each have their own labels if that's the case.

Wow! Darn good inspiration-wise for me today!!! Thank you+++

 

[Kittyinpink]

Sexually explicit text ahead, so read at your own discretion. It's kind of hard to not get explicit though given the subject matter.

Spoiler

You only need a label insofar as you find it useful to have one, or if having one makes you happy for one reason or another.

I mean, I'm a lesbian. That's a label! But what does it mean? Well traditionally it means you're a girl who's sexually attracted to other girls. Simple, right? Well in my case I'm actually bisexual/homoromantic. So why do I say I'm a lesbian? Well, bisexual doesn't really tell you the whole story. I'm not really sexually attracted to men, I'm sexually attracted to dicks and every now and again like to feel someone cum on my face and tits. But having sex with a man? Ehhhhhhhh... it's really just a necessary compromise I need to make in order to sexual partner with a cock (mostly... girls with dicks exist of course, but are way harder to find). So I'm not sexually interested in men or romantically interested in men. That means I'm a lesbian, just one who occasionally fancies some dick.

Except if we're being totally honest about my romantic history, I've actually had legit crushes on men before. Matt in middle school, Dave in high school, Tom in college. I mean damn, I swooned over those boys hard. And if I had to rank my top crushes ever, the list is probably about 10 names long and men are about 6-7 of them. But those are like all the crushes I've had on men, ever, whereas daaaaaamn girl if I interact with 100 adult women in a given day, I'd have some level of interest in like 90 of them.

So really, grounds exist for someone to insist "bisexual" is the most accurate description of my sexual identity! And honestly that assertion isn't wholly invalid even if I don't really like the whole "man" part of the bargain. But there's also the issue that men hear I'm bisexual (fair assertion) and assume I'm also biromantic (hard no). Which is an issue because it attracts sexual attention from men I very squarely do not want. Even aside from that, I've dabbled a lot in both bisexual and lesbian culture... lesbians very much feel like my proper tribe, even if my sexual proclivities fail certain lesbian purity tests.

But see here's the thing. To properly explain my the full picture of my sexual orientation, not only did I need to go three paragraphs I also needed to get really really personal about my sexual proclivities and history. In an internet community I joined for the purpose of gabbing with people about my diaper fetish? Sure, I'll get into the weeds about in that here, with proper redaction given our standards of decorum. But my sexual orientation is something I also commonly discuss socially or professionally since I'm married to a woman. That is, situations where the full details are unnecessary or even outright improper to share.

Which brings us full circle to why I say I'm (and do earnestly consider myself to be) a lesbian:

• It answers the most common context it comes up in succinctly, being in a same-sex marriage.
• It clearly communicates to horny men they're barking up the wrong tree.
• It clearly communicates to horny women they're barking up the right tree!!
• It groups me with people I share a strong sense of cultural identity with.

So the question honestly for me isn't whether a label has an objective meaning which is closer to a definitive representation of who I am than any other. The real question is if I like the label and find it useful to label myself. In the case of being a lesbian, yes, the label serves a purpose.

The question for you is basically the same. Is there a label you feel comfortable describing yourself as, regardless of whether it fits whatever someone says the definition is? Does using that label with other people serve some purpose or add some type of convenience to your life? Does it make you feel good or validated? There's no "right" answer to these questions. They're simply a guide to figuring out if labeling makes sense for you, for what you want a label to accomplish, and how to find the one you want to use.

Totally agree! I need my lables.. I'm self conscious and a very meek "girl " (I don't think I'm allowed to say girl, because unfortunately I have yukky bits.... ) but yes! Lables help me be me! I can say 'I'm transgender ' and people basically let me dress and act the way I like... Lables are very helpful! People used to hit on me all the time both girls and boys... and I didn't like it at all.. also when I inevitably rejected everyone, then there was nasty stuff as a Consequence.. because I was and am still finding myself very rarely I actually accepted a proposition from a girl or boy.. that made people jealous and unpleasant! If I knew the lable "Asexual " back then , my life would have been much happier! (Except my naughty curiosity and my love of alcohol abuse!!)

 

[chamberpot]

If I have to have a label I guess I would choose "Human" so with that said I am allowed to make all the mistakes that us humans make. If I am not allowed to be a human then I would guess that I have to label myself a chameleon because I can adapt to fit in with just about anybody. I'm 68 life is to short for labels so I guess I'll just stay ME

 

[Rakvirsza]

(I don't think I'm allowed to say girl, because unfortunately I have yukky bits.... )

Not at all! What's in you're pants doesn't determine your gender, if you're a trans girl then you're a girl regardless of any unwanted body parts that may or may not be present. A lot of trans people haven't had the surgery, and some don't even plan to, that doesn't change anything about their identity. In most interactions, people aren't even going to know one way or the other anyways. Being trans is a matter of your mind and identity, not the changes you've made to your body to support it.

There are a few trans people that say otherwise, they're known as transmedicalists, and they're a small subset that are generally despised by the broader trans community.

 

[Kittyinpink]

You're a girl if you say you're a girl. Gender is a psychological identity inside a social framework. It has nothing to do with your body's construction, even if there does exist a broad correlation between gender and sex.

 

[Kittyinpink]

Not at all! What's in you're pants doesn't determine your gender, if you're a trans girl then you're a girl regardless of any unwanted body parts that may or may not be present. A lot of trans people haven't had the surgery, and some don't even plan to, that doesn't change anything about their identity. In most interactions, people aren't even going to know one way or the other anyways. Being trans is a matter of your mind and identity, not the changes you've made to your body to support it.

There are a few trans people that say otherwise, they're known as transmedicalists, and they're a small subset that are generally despised by the broader trans community.

What's a transmedicalists?...

 

[Rakvirsza]

What's a transmedicalists?...

So this is a very long and complex subject. In short though, transmedicalism is an ideology present among a very small subset of the transgender community with much narrower views on what allows a person to consider themselves trans, typically including that people are not actually trans until they've medically transitioned. I don't feel qualified to explain their beliefs in more detail and don't want to accidentally spread any misinformation so I'll leave it at this broad explanation.

I brought it up only because I wasn't sure if you had seen something somewhere that said you couldn't identify yourself as a girl without the actual medical procedures, which could mean you'd stumbled on something from a transmedicalist at some point, so if that was the case I felt it'd be good to clarify that that belief is a small group and not the commonly accepted stance among the trans community or scientists that study the subject.

 

[Kittyinpink]

So this is a very long and complex subject. In short though, transmedicalism is an ideology present among a very small subset of the transgender community with much narrower views on what allows a person to consider themselves trans, typically including that people are not actually trans until they've medically transitioned. I don't feel qualified to explain their beliefs in more detail and don't want to accidentally spread any misinformation so I'll leave it at this broad explanation.

I brought it up only because I wasn't sure if you had seen something somewhere that said you couldn't identify yourself as a girl without the actual medical procedures, which could mean you'd stumbled on something from a transmedicalist at some point, so if that was the case I felt it'd be good to clarify that that belief is a small group and not the commonly accepted stance among the trans community or scientists that study the subject.

Thank you very much for your reply! I never heard of them! I just very insecure and worried about people reaction because I'm becoming very feminine in my presentation .. and I get scared.. . Thank you again!! I really appreciate your input! Thanks ...

 

[Rakvirsza]

Thank you very much for your reply! I never heard of them! I just very insecure and worried about people reaction because I'm becoming very feminine in my presentation .. and I get scared.. . Thank you again!! I really appreciate your input! Thanks ...

You're welcome, I'm glad I can help!

I totally get being scared! I was at first too, and in all honesty still am in a lot of situations even if I'm pretty open about it on here. Feel free to PM me if you have any more questions and I'll try to answer the best I can.

 

[SmolPupprrito]

I mean, personally, i just list based on wha i discovered about myself first
So in order i'm a DL then Babyfur then AB, so depending on the conversation, i just say as a whole i'm a padded little fluffy pupper

 

[NinaAlex]

Lables, they definitely helped us& find ourself&, but we& try not letting them define us&.
Ours& are: DL, little, incontinent, transgender, woman, girl, non-binary, lesbian, either asexual or demisexual (don't know yet, and likely won't find out for a few more years), demiromantic, autistic, ADHD, PTSD, plural system, hacker, and several others.

I don't think I'm allowed to say girl, because unfortunately I have yukky bits....

I still have those too. I found it hard to call myself a girl at first, with a bit of time girl felt right, but it still took me a while to finally be able to say I am a woman without it feeling weird. But I'm there, I am a woman, and I am going to fight anyone who tries to insist that one of my trans sisters or myself are not women. The only exception I make there is if someone claims that about themselves, because it takes time to overcome our own internal transphobia.

 

[Woncrinklz]

If I have to have a label I guess I would choose "Human" so with that said I am allowed to make all the mistakes that us humans make. If I am not allowed to be a human then I would guess that I have to label myself a chameleon because I can adapt to fit in with just about anybody. I'm 68 life is to short for labels so I guess I'll just stay ME

I know this is an old posting, BUT I thoroughly and couldn't be more entirely agreeing with you. Absolutely agree with what you said. 100%.

Sold? Oh, come on! Haggle with me...ah! Okay. No, you won. I like your answer. (just kidding around). But not about your comment. I'm right there with on it. No need to haggle.

 

[NinaAlex]

If I have to have a label I guess I would choose "Human" so with that said I am allowed to make all the mistakes that us humans make. If I am not allowed to be a human then I would guess that I have to label myself a chameleon because I can adapt to fit in with just about anybody. I'm 68 life is to short for labels so I guess I'll just stay ME

I hesitate calling myself human.
I'm ashamed to be part of an intelligent species that regularly knowingly causes unbelievable suffering to its own kind;
that is destroying the planet it depends on; that hates others for no good reason; that doesn't condemn people who want to force others to live in a way that makes them seriously ill; that measures its success by how much richer the rich get, while ignoring that others suffer; that has the means to solve so many of the problems its members face, but doesn't, because there is no fucking profit in it.

Humans have caused us unbelievable harm. It was humans that directly and knowingly caused most of the trauma we went though. It was other humans who let them do that, and didn't say anything.

No, "Human" is a lable that is only technically true for us, because we've never felt like we belonged, and (especially during our childhood) others have made it quite clear that they don't think I should be part of the groups I tried to be in, or was forced to be in.

I've always felt like an alien, stranded on this planet in human form. Then again, I've got a lot of lables that if I only had them would already alienate me from most people, but I don't just have one or two, but a whole collection of them.

I've never understood how most people simply cannot feel the pain that is all around them.
Some of our system members are hyperempathic, so to us, watching the news can bring us to tears, or more likely cause us to dissociate.

I truly believe that the best thing for this planet, with how humanity currently behaves, would be if humanity were to die out.
I don't say humanity can't change, I just think it's unlikely.

All I want from life is to eventually find someone to grow old with, or at least some friends that I can rely on, who understand and respect me for who I am, and who are open to cuddling here and there.
I'd love to not get discriminated against, to not get retraumatized by thoughtless people or the system, to not get taken advantage of again, to be able to actually fully trust another person, but that is wishful thinking.

My life on this planet has been soaked in so much trauma and pain, I'm surprised I'm still here.
But now that I've finally realized the source of a significant part of that trauma and pain, and have started to fix the problem, people hate me for doing that.

I don't have much hope for humanity and I am truly ashamed that I am technically part of this species.

 

[chamberpot]

I
chamberpot said:
If I have to have a label I guess I would choose "Human" so with that said I am allowed to make all the mistakes that us humans make. If I am not allowed to be a human then I would guess that I have to label myself a chameleon because I can adapt to fit in with just about anybody. I'm 68 life is to short for labels so I guess I'll just stay ME

hesitate calling myself human.
I'm ashamed to be part of an intelligent species that regularly knowingly causes unbelievable suffering to its own kind;
that is destroying the planet it depends on; that hates others for no good reason; that doesn't condemn people who want to force others to live in a way that makes them seriously ill; that measures its success by how much richer the rich get, while ignoring that others suffer; that has the means to solve so many of the problems its members face, but doesn't, because there is no fucking profit in it.

Humans have caused us unbelievable harm. It was humans that directly and knowingly caused most of the trauma we went though. It was other humans who let them do that, and didn't say anything.

No, "Human" is a lable that is only technically true for us, because we've never felt like we belonged, and (especially during our childhood) others have made it quite clear that they don't think I should be part of the groups I tried to be in, or was forced to be in.

I've always felt like an alien, stranded on this planet in human form. Then again, I've got a lot of lables that if I only had them would already alienate me from most people, but I don't just have one or two, but a whole collection of them.

I've never understood how most people simply cannot feel the pain that is all around them.
Some of our system members are hyperempathic, so to us, watching the news can bring us to tears, or more likely cause us to dissociate.

I truly believe that the best thing for this planet, with how humanity currently behaves, would be if humanity were to die out.
I don't say humanity can't change, I just think it's unlikely.

All I want from life is to eventually find someone to grow old with, or at least some friends that I can rely on, who understand and respect me for who I am, and who are open to cuddling here and there.
I'd love to not get discriminated against, to not get retraumatized by thoughtless people or the system, to not get taken advantage of again, to be able to actually fully trust another person, but that is wishful thinking.

My life on this planet has been soaked in so much trauma and pain, I'm surprised I'm still here.
But now that I've finally realized the source of a significant part of that trauma and pain, and have started to fix the problem, people hate me for doing that.

I don't have much hope for humanity and I am truly ashamed that I am technically part of this species.

This is my third attempt to response to you post quoting me. I am not good with words,, it took me three days thinking about this post and and also thinking I should leave this forum. You turned my statement into something bad and full of hate. While the only hate I see here is your hate. Your hate drips out of almost every post you make. Make your life what you want it to be and let others enjoy the life they make for themselves. Stop hating yourself and you will stop projecting your hate onto others.